Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Welcome back! There was some quality participation in various threads last week and it was great seeing the usuals come hard after taking the summer off. That’s some good commentin’!

Notes:

-The Pac 12 is rising slowly from…something. Basically they offered membership to any school with State after their name and [waves hands around] a general West-ish location. So welcome aboard Fresno State, Boise State, Colorado State and San Diego State. Oregon State and Washington State breath a huge sigh of relief.

-Looks like Malik Willis starts at least one game for Green Bay after being acquired in late August. My only notion of him is that he’s really, really raw.

-Detroit Lions legend Joe Schmidt passed away at the age of 92. For those that may not know, he was one of the most prominent remaining links to the excellent Lions teams of the 50’s. As a linebacker he was the gold standard in that his no-nonsense play caused folks to compare Butkus to him when the latter first entered the league. He was an eight-time All Pro and get this, he coached the team from the mid-sixties to the early 70’s and had a career winning record!

To The Game!

Bills/Fins:

-Rodgers loves to blither about owning Chicago but Josh Allen is 11-2 vs Miami and has thrown for two or more TD’s in every game.

-James Cook’s best buddy just might be OC Joe Brady. Since Ken Dorsey was fired Cook’s usage has gone bananas though I think he’s a bit too small for this kind of work. Then again, it’s not like he gets those goal line carries. He’s a good fit between the 20’s for the most part. I figure Ray Davis would get some action there but did I get sniped? Yes.

-Mostert is out and Achane is limping and a game-timer. Are we going to get a Jeff Wilson day? McDonald brought him onboard from San Fran because he’s trustworthy in pass protection but he’s a bit of a plodder which doesn’t fit the speed-demon profile that Miami’s backs tend to have. Rookie Jaylen Wright fits that bill but it might be too early in his development.

-Ex-Bills safety Jordan Poyer and his punctured lung have been cleared to play for the Fins but not to fly home. Something’s wrong there, just can’t put my finger on it.

Do a thing in the comments.

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fleshwound_NPG

“the dolphins have a mini-bye week, so…”

no. no. fucking no. somebody be an adult and step in and say “no son, that’s it.”

Doktor Zymm

Won’t be his shitty father

blaxabbath

Fuck this. If the sport wants to be a constant nascar drip; I want to witness every step of the march toward Tua’s inevitable death on the field.

The NFL is far too influential to not deliver on it’s promise of “tough” “action”. I’d buy the blood jersey at auction. It’ll be an artifact to Man.

Unsurprised

One could even say he’s a genuine Cocks Man.

Unsurprised

I didn’t know you could shave a horse.

Unsurprised

I said HORSE, Mr. Kraft! HORSE!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Did somebody say ‘horse’?” – Jim Irsay, wrapping some rubber tubing around his arm and offering up a vein

fleshwound_NPG

“it somehow makes it look even BIGGER!”

-catherine the great

Bogdanski

They shoot horses don’t they?

Gatoraids

Chef Russ looking up Cuban recipes

King Hippo

Sky didn’t even have time to fuck Ted on that play

Unsurprised

I’m not trusting my team to a boy named Skylar.

Gatoraids

Skyler consulting playbook that say Drink More Ovaltine

Unsurprised

Anyway, this is to be expected. The Bills historically don’t shit the bed in Miami until late January.

Unsurprised

To his credit, Tua’s come back from the dead more often than Lazarus.

King Hippo

oh Christ, Hamlin (the ded guy) was even the tackler. That poor bastard can’t catch a break.

fleshwound_NPG

aw shit

Gatoraids

Ryan Fitzpatrick is available

King Hippo

in the building, even!

Doktor Zymm

Tua’s back!

King Hippo

yikes, that’ll be Tua’s career. Defender didn’t do anything wrong, but still kinda skerry

WCS

Just got settled in at work, and checking the scor–

I see the Japanese got to the Lolphins before I got here.

Brocky

…. you’ll never guess who I started in my money league

Doktor Zymm

How much can we pay you to start Watson?

Brocky

…. how much you got?

Unsurprised

$12

Brocky

Throw in a case of mountain dew code red, and we’ve got a deal

Bogdanski

And that’s a back issue

Mr. Ayo

TUA DED AGAIN!

fleshwound_NPG

yep, tua’s done

Gatoraids

Tua really using his head on that play

Wakezilla

Welp, this game is pissing me off and Toddlerzilla is being a monster. Good night

Unsurprised

Damn

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish I had the ability to drunkenly materialize fresh lemons into my living room so I could make passion fruit whiskey sours instead of having to drunkenly wander the neighborhood looking for some.

Brocky

Something something lemon stealing wh*res

Dunstan

Lemon party at Rikki’s!

Unsurprised

You can’t have a lemon party without ol’ Rik.

Unsurprised

You either die a hero or live long enough to see the Jets as favorites over the P*ts

King Hippo

maybe Tua should try drawing pentagrams with his eyeblack, see if that works any better

Gatoraids
Gatoraids
Gatoraids

almost as many incomplete pics as Tua

Unsurprised

LOL

fleshwound_NPG

welp

litre_cola

Fc Cincinnati gives you the Skyrosa.
What appears like a cheese Dog on top of a slice of pizza.

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Doktor Zymm

That’s just silly, the cheesedog needs to be oriented along the vertical axis so you eat it in the same direction as the slice

litre_cola

This is exactly how I would carry a piece of pizza and a hot dog bac to my seat, except there would be onions on it as well.

fleshwound_NPG

gas stations got more shame

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So it’s basically a hot dog taco inside of a pizza taco.

Mr. Ayo

*sandwich

Unsurprised

Mike looks like he’s two drinks away from telling bawdy stories about his time working with Dave Chappelle.

Gatoraids

McDaniel looking like he hanging with Spoelstra too much and heading for a divorce

Dunstan

I approve of Charissa’s outfit.

ballsofsteelandfury

Co-sign

litre_cola

She’s from Seattle, bet she knows how to catch a fish.

Gatoraids

Charissa Exposes It All

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[is crestfallen when he realizes you weren’t talking about Charizard] – Elisha Nelson Manning

King Hippo

Charissa’s shorter haircut is working for her. Looks less Fox News-y

fleshwound_NPG

wearing leather in miami in september is…a choice

not saying it is a bad one at all

Unsurprised

Hair?

Dunstan

You just want a better view of her shoulders

King Hippo

not wrong, I gots to admit

Unsurprised

Her dress isn’t that short

Sharkbait

Well this is certainly a game isnt it

Unsurprised

In the most technical sense of the word.

Don T

Fuck this. Imma watch Vikings.
Ok one episode (up to S3). Go pagans! Love LOVE that show.

blaxabbath

I found archer.

fleshwound_NPG

kaylee is sweating from head to toe

mike-mcdaniel-miami-dolphins_6303749.jpg
Gatoraids

popped a Molly

Unsurprised

Unnecessary. It’s pumped into the city water like fluoride.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“THEY’RE BLITZING WITH GREEN DOGS!”

Unsurprised

Calm down, Trent.

King Hippo

NOBODY GIVES TWO SHITS ABOUT KICKOFF RETURNS EXCEPT GINGER HAMMER JUST FUCK OFF ALREADY.

blaxabbath

Are we really going to do this thing where the NFL-approved announcers lament the loss of the exciting/dangerous plays that they insisted needed to happen?

The American television viewer is an absolute rube. Comcast is a megacorp because mining said rubes is their mission statement.

Doktor Zymm

Should be throwing it* to Waddle!

*accurately

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blaxabbath

NWSL is “kicking off” on Prime Video.

What’s the status on us getting a Calgary team?

Unsurprised

It can be a decent afternoon attending a game. Not much fun in the way of trying to score with the women there, though.

litre_cola

We have a team in the fledgling CWSL. Haven’t played their 1st game yet. I believe it starts next season

blaxabbath

I want in!

Gatoraids

Ross resurrected Matthew Perry to sit next to him

SonOfSpam

aaaaand here comes the Ketamine Queen

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“…now we’re sharing some iced cream…” – Mike McCarthy, sounding irritated at the prospect

Wakezilla

I still stand by my prediction that Miami wins 35-27. We’ve got the Bills right where we want them.

/giggles

Gatoraids

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! Nothing is over until we decide it is”
 – McDaniel

King Hippo

You been in the computer duster with Brokeback, son?

Gatoraids

McDaniel been up late playing Deadlock too much

blaxabbath

Carnival: the The General of the Sea

Dunstan

This playcalling is… something.

litre_cola

Lulling them to sleep.

Redshirt

This is easily the 2nd terrible thing I’ve seen from Miami today.

IMG_0181.jpeg
blaxabbath

Chicago dogs are a really great dog.

And I love getting hot dogs. I get at least two a week.

Unsurprised

Still not in the same galaxy as Mr. Beef, though.

Redshirt

..

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Don T

First Thursday Night blow out! May just put the volume to hear Al Micheals in full snide.

blaxabbath

TNF: We’re DUE for a second good AFC East team one year….

SonOfSpam

“Fuck it, too humid.”

-Dolphins’ defense

The Maestro

Are we ready to slam our notebooks shut on this game?

Unsurprised

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ballsofsteelandfury

My man!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Your man’s ass is pretty damned fine, though I’ll admit I was fooled and first thought it was a woman’s.

Unsurprised

I’ve been working out.

clint greasewood

Tuaover on downs

SonOfSpam

But Darnold isn’t playing.

Unsurprised

Bezos should just buy the NFL. It’s more influential with the plebes than owning the Post and still having to carry water for people even more villainous than he

Gatoraids

Tua picking up Marino’s legendary mobility

Unsurprised

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