More Thrills! More Games! Your Late Slate Open Thread

I’m sure this was some error by the sked makers that was somehow overlooked by the powers that be but it’s too late and now we have choices. We can never go back! [looks at Week 7’s late slate of three games] I guess we’re going back eventually.

To The Games!

Panthers/Raiders:

Ok, let’s get the stinker out of the way. So, how long before Minshew gets injured? He’s being asked to throw the ball and has responded by averaging 266 yards over the first two tilts but he’s also been thrown to the ground nine times as well. Rook tight end Bowers is all he promised to be early days-he leads everyone at his position in catches, targets and yards.

Fins/Seahawks:

It’s Skylar Time! The last time we saw him he was way back in 2022, playing in a Wild Card game vs the Bills and going 18 for 45. It might be safe to downgrade Tyreek and Jaylen a little bit. It’s early but it looks like Geno has regained his surprising form from two years prior. He threw for 300+ last week but if you’ve got a modicum of talent how can you go wrong slinging to the trio of D.K, Tyler and Jackson?

Ravens/Cowboys:

Baltimore is 0-2 but leads the league in total offense. One of those things just doesn’t belong and I can’t see the Ravens going 0-3. So that means that Dallas is going to lose at home and there will a decided lack of celebratory “YEE HAWS!” and I’m here for it. I think it’ll be a very close game however.

Niners/Rams:

An important early divisional matchup with no Puca, Kupp, Deebo or Christian and maybe Kittle. This screams “Big Game” for Aiyuk and Mason. The Rams passing offense now goes through Demarcus Robinson and Colby Parkinson. What? That’s a long way down.

Lions/Cards:

Yet another interesting and probably high-scoring tilt. Thank you, four pm EST window! That’s just not something that gets written very often, if at all. Goff leads all qb’s in pass attempts so far with 83 and Jameson Williams is reaping. He’s one of only three wr’s with 200+ yards in this low-scoring start to the season. It took all of two games for Harrison Jr to bust out. 130 yards in one quarter? That’ll do.

Enjoy.

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LemonJello

“WHAT THE HAYELL HAPPENED TO MY TEAM OF GOTTDAMMED STARS? GET THAT FAT FUCK MALARKY ON THE HORN. I’MMA FIXIN TO FIRE HIS ASS RIGHT INTO THE SUN!!!! YYEEEeeeeeeHHHaaAAAAAWWWwwww I AM FUCKIN CRAZY!!”

NotShogunButShogun

I think that happened at halftime

LemonJello

I am absolutely on track for a defeated season in Lowratio League.

womp womp

Beerguyrob

Right there with you.

Doktor Zymm

From what I’m hearing, it sounds like everyone in Lowration league is losing? Is that possible?

Horatio Cornblower

Three teams are undefeated. The rest of us are basically just muddling along.

Horatio Cornblower

Uncalled hold on the Dallas NT on that run, something all Dallas fans will scream about while forgetting the roughing call that allowed Dallas to get their third TD.

Unsurprised

LOL. Je ne saquon

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, I enjoyed that as well

litre_cola

I was so happy in the car on the way to family time listening to it.

King Hippo

20-25 seconds to work with after run, run punt

Unsurprised

The refs are going to cause so much damage to Megatron’s Butthole

Horatio Cornblower

That’ll do it, Dallas. That’ll do it.

Unsurprised

Cowboys to the processing plant

King Hippo

too bad Lamar! ain’t no LEEDER OF MEN smgdh

SonOfSpam

Al Campanis thinks he doesn’t have the intangibles.

King Hippo

Jerral just yelled FIGHT FAIR N….(beeeeeeepppppp)

SonOfSpam

Thanks for asking, I am moderately erect thanks to RAMMMMMMMMMIT

Doktor Zymm

Aw, that was a pretty good try by the Niners

Unsurprised

FUCK!

Unsurprised

I leave for half an hour and eye world comes to an end

Gatoraids

i know stuck with Brady game now

blaxabbath

I mean….not to be like this or whatever.

But Kyle Shannahan woke up and dressed himself like a loser this morning.

Gatoraids

Al Michaels all gambling channel the Green Zone going wild with these last few games

King Hippo

These here Ratbirds is borken

Doktor Zymm

Carbon monoxide leak in the away locker room?

King Hippo

better’n any theory I got

Horatio Cornblower

I’m quite sure you scored more points in your last game than he got for me in the Lowratio League today.

NotShogunButShogun

Going for the moral victory will not save you from Jerrah

Unsurprised

Mo-real?

Mr. Ayo

lol Niners

blaxabbath

I can see Dan Campbell not allowing anyone to put anything except Lions on the back of their helmets.

Gatoraids

RAMMIT

Horatio Cornblower

I’m just going to go ahead and imagine I’m agreeing with Fozz that that was a shit roughing call on Baltimore.

NotShogunButShogun

Blinded by the light. Rev’d up like a douche in the middle of the night

blaxabbath

Jared Goff shot that pass through the Cardinals soft defense like Leiutant Michael Byrd heroically shooting a bullet through Ashley Babbitt’s chest and soft shoulder tissue!

Horatio Cornblower

LUEPKE!? THAT GUY OWES ME MONEY!!

Beerguyrob

FINALLY! I’m free.

Doktor Zymm

Go forth and celebrate!

Beerguyrob

Oh, I am. Fast Fashion brewing in Seattle is a good time. Their rice lager is a delicious treat.

IMG_4228.jpeg
Doktor Zymm

Ooh, looks crisp and refreshing!

blaxabbath

Someone did PEDs and now we’re wiping the game from the record books.

Mr. Ayo

Two minutes is a Purdy long time

Horatio Cornblower

I have Brandin Cooks and Schoonmaker in my Lowratio League line-up, in both cases due to injury, and Dallas is not throwing to Cooks and Schoonmaker clearly doesn’t know the plays, so I’ll be somehow related from the Lowratio League.

Wrexham FC, here I come!

Horatio Cornblower

Brocky started Jauan Jennings against me, because of course he did. Write that one up, Brocky!

blaxabbath

I don’t know how to change my roster and I’m just too embarrassed to speak up about it.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll be happy to show you, as long as you can retroactively remove Jennings.

litre_cola

Click on the starter, then click on the dude on the bench that you want to replace him. Voila.

Horatio Cornblower

Now you tell him.

Col. Duke LaCross

Sudden bananacakes witching hour

clint greasewood

Garbage time Dak has awaken.

fleshwound_NPG

no longer garbage time because john harbaugh wants to be fired this year

blaxabbath

CARDS GAME HEADSHOT DEATH!!!

King Hippo

bet those backs is SORE smgdh

Horatio Cornblower

Ball hadn’t even gone ten yards when the Baltimore player muffed it.

NotShogunButShogun

Wow. An actual onside fail that erases my memories!

LemonJello

Who has a worse night ahead of them: TONIGHT GIRLFRIEND or the stable of coke-addled whores Ol’Dubble J has chained up in a 20′ shipping container?

Beerguyrob

The answer is, the intern who has to censor his corporate emails between tonight and Monday morning.

blaxabbath

I think Mark’s gals can distract him with his WNBA success.

Horatio Cornblower

Dallas needs 22 points in 9+ minutes and they’re gonna have to it marching into a blinding Sun, because Ol’ Double J’s ego knows no bounds.

YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAW WE ARE GOIN’ FUCKIN’ BLIND!!!

blaxabbath

RUB YOUR LABIA ON MY CATARACTS, GIRL REF!!

NotShogunButShogun

Are you suggesting recent stadium designs weren’t done intelligently? Birds have opinions on this.

blaxabbath

The average time to register to vote is two minutes.

::Mike McCarthy arrives to Insurrection II carrying his mail-in ballot.

Doktor Zymm

At least I didn’t take the Raiders in survivor, RTD has taught me nawt to trust them

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[takes a bow]

Mr. Ayo

Sigh, I did in another league.

blaxabbath

I hope my guy with the Cards tickets is enjoying this game. Dan Campbell just suffocating Xbox Jr making a 10-point lead look like a sure thing for the entire second half seems like a pretty Detroit Fan time.

I think we get to gift out the gold this week.

Last edited 1 month ago by blaxabbath
King Hippo

Fatthew is like a baby giraffe trying to move within the pocket

Doktor Zymm

Nawt quite as adorable tho

Beerguyrob

That wasn’t a touchdown, it was a mercy killing.

litre_cola

Back from the Symphony for Kids. I am cultured as shit right now.

JustStopDude

So Jerry has to start calling the plays now right?

yeah right

I want to see his ridiculous old ass trying to tackle El Tractorcito. I’d pay good money for that.

blaxabbath

THIS GUY YEAH RIGHT I CALL HIM SEAN “P DIDDY” COMBS BECAUSE HE SHELLS OUT THE BIG BUCKS TO SEE THE INDEFENSIBLE GET ABSOLUTELY WRECKED!