Looking forward to today. Well, aside from that whole ‘watch the Giants collapse in a new and different way’ thing. Unlike yesterday’s college offerings (some late games excluded) the NFL slate promises to be good. AND we’ve got a five game [faints] late slate that is a banger.
To The Games!
Chargers/Steelers:
With two games below 150 passing yards Herbert has doubled his career total of that number to date. Harbaugh The QB Killer? Dobbins has had plenty of success vs the Steelers, averaging 6.9 ypc against them. Can Fields sorta kinda guide Pitt to a win again? Don’t doubt The Voodoo.
Texans/Vikes:
Stroud to this point in his career has 43 completions of 25+ yards-he’s a remarkably accurate downfield thrower. Nico has been the prime beneficiary, averaging about 106 yards over his last eight games. Of course they gave old man Mixon too much work out of the gate and he’s doubtful so Cam Akers has risen out of the grave of his dead career. Sam Darnold is my $1 QB in Math Hard! league and I’d pay three times that for him today.
Eagles/Saints:
Who’d a thought this tilt would be almost necessary viewing? New Orleans ability to put points on the board has taken everyone by surprise, even Saints fans. Well, except for all those that are saying, “I told you so”. Shaheed continues to blow the top off defenses and Carr has yet to revert to his boring checkdown self. Is there something special in the beignets down there? Philly has their hands full given that their best weapon Brown is still unavailable.
Broncs/Bucs:
Chicks dig the long ball (timely reference!) but not Bo Nix’s-he’s 6 of 24 with 3 INT’s on downfield throws so far which is worse than the since-pulled Bryce Young. Baker has continued to play well but he has favored Godwin who is having a resurgence. Meanwhile on the other side Evans has now gone 7 straight games without 100 yards.
Packers/Titans:
For some reason (Love being out) Lafleur decided to give the rock to Jacobs 32(!) times last week. Sure fantasy owners were happy with that 151 total but that’s just silly. Love was limited in practice so I’m guessing he’s a game-timer? The Titans have the league’s best overall defense and are winless-Levis has to show more.
Giants/Browns:
The .500 Browns look to get on the winning side of things against a NY team that just can’t get everything right at the same time. Last week when the offense finally was sniffing at competency, roster management negated it. Wait. Is this a trap game for Cleveland? Nah.
Bears/Colts:
Boy howdy Chicago’s O is disgusting. They average three yards per play which hasn’t been equaled since way back in 2006. Caleb is a dump down artiste right now-that’s usually the case when a rook qb can’t process defensive looks fast enough. That should improve, it has to improve. Perhaps there should be some emphasis on the ground game given that Indy has given up 474 yards so far.
Now it’s all you.
so many bears fans in indy that perhaps clots might need to consider a silent count
Like clot fans can count
Carr i dub thee “Saint Emo”
(brain breaks in FITBAW)
Watching LAC-PIT and NYG-CLE on split screen. The Redzone Starter Pack, if you will.
Found a funny:
LETTERMAN: So they have this website called, I kid you not, Nude Africa
[CBS Orchestra plays the first few bars to Toto’s Africa]
Speaking of Nude Africa, this is a South African band I have actually seen live:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O30LJf6ubd0
Pep Makes a Sub is not a cooking channel on Youtube but it damn well should be.
Emo Carr MVP tour continues unabated
“kickers are awesome from 50+ this year”
bears: let us be the first to begin the regression to the mean
Ladies and Gentleman and Everyone Here, the New York Football Giants.
that coaching staff needs to thrown in the Gowanus Canal. Coughlin cursed the Mara’s
Make-A-Wish is active in BirdMurderDome it appears
Darnold to JJ, scotchy and I cancel each other out!!
Heee’s back – Sam “Ghostman” Darnold
My bad, I thought possession had changed.
The Willis revenge on Tits has begun.
MALIK VENGEANCE!!!
Shoot
Am I gonna regret benching Packers WR Jayden Reed?? 😬
rockingdog, FF is just a microcosm of all my life’s infinite regrets
Cute, the Donks QB is trying to throw a pass over 10 yards.
I am here once again asking a London based team to do the favors and get a result that benefits Liverpool. I know they will disappoint as always.
Giants waste no time disappointing their fans
I love the opening montage of touchbacks. FUCK OFF, Ginger Hammer!
Goodell is into infinite edging.
Am here to watch the Eagles Defense get ran over.
It is going to be ugly.
Still baffles me that your Diet Cokes were the same price as our libations on the 1st night in Vegas. 6 USD for a diet coke is wild.
It’s Vegas baby! Not only does what adventures you have in Vegas stay in Vegas, so does your money.
welp if bears/fat humps is a snoozer (likely!) i can jump over to lady roundball colts play lady roundball hartford whalers for the wimmins roundball playoffs in a few hours
(because fuck watching tit/packers, and the cowboys in the afternoon slot)
(those are my options unless i sail the seven seas, arrrg matey)
Cowboys hate watch is a must for me-I can’t see the Ravens going 0-3.
/Spoiler Alert-they have the league’s best offense
tough call, but sound goes to The Greatest Living American
my picks
Raiders -6.5
Browns -6.5
Bills -4.5
Look out Hippo, I’m actually starting a defense this week in Math Hard!
And I re-changed my RB brain stew! Now favoUred by 0.6!!
I didnt follow baseball but all my newsfeeds are full of ohtani news. Can someone explain in Football or basketball terms what this guy is doing?
He’s an Asian Tom Brady.
A non-rapey (and still alive) Kobe?
1984 dan marino…total alien shit
He’s the first guy to have 1500 yards receiving and rushing in a season. All while rehabbing so he can throw next season.
that’s impressive.
That’s it.
Morning Folks
“It’s so foreign seeing an egregious, borderline criminal call go against the team in red.” – NFL officials
Today’s fantasy quandary – I know I should start a #ThePauls RB against the VEP run defense. But dunno which one. So, I have to start either Moss and Perine, or risk benching Moss and play Foreman/Ford.
(the coin came up heads)
Somebody just tossed their own salad.
This fixture turned into a Very Special Episode of “Oz” so gradually that I barely even noticed!
With A Very Important Introduction By ballsofsteelandfury
Diddy still breaking news from jail
another twist in the tale!
There’s some turning of tables
YOU JUST CANNOT STOP GABRIEL ON SET PIECES! GET IN LADS!
Trossard almost tossed Man City’s salad.
Jesus said IS SUNDAY so all mines.
Back of the head header is unique.
Nothing is impossible with CHRIST suck it libtards!!!1111
I like Doku a lot but that was some shitty defending on the corner.
So the Dr. Mrs. and I are modifying our Dodger hats so they look like this:
Instead of embroidery, which is a huge pain in the ass, we’re using fabric paint, which is cheap and much easier. My hat is blue, so I’m using white paint, her hat is white, so she’s using blue paint. So I cut out a comma using masking tape, stick it to where I want it on the hat. Then I trace an outline around that using chalk, and remove the masking tape bit, and then paint inside the chalk outline. Comes out pretty good.
Note that she has watched me do all this. So there is really no excuse for what happens next.
I give her the masking tape comma, she sticks it to her hat, dan instead of using chalk to make the outline, SHE USES A BLUE INK ROLLERBALL PEN. I’m watching all of this in horror, not even bothering with an “are you sure you want to…” because she won’t listen (and will dig in even harder, in fact) and of course the ink soaks into the fabric and now she doesn’t even have an outline, she’s just got a blue blob with a bit of white in the center. And of course she prétends that things are proceeding according to plan, so she start applying the paint. It…does not go well.
The good news is that she abandoned the project before the paint dried, and it washed out just fine and bleach took out *most* of the pen ink, so I’m starting with a relatively clean canvas when I take over and do it for her today.
What’s the reason for the comma?
I don’t follow basedball at all, so unless mentioned here, I prob will miss it
The second I settle back in after shit/shave/shower, a worldy brings us level.
Our Brazilian pizza boy gave the ball to our actual pizza boy and the lad delivered!! Onward to glory!
Haaland off to a nice start.
Mercury Morris has passed away-think I’ll do a line of coke and have a glass of champagne.
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/41378566/mercury-morris-2-super-bowl-champ-dolphins-dies-77
Death still undefeated.
Well, at least I get a Sunday where the Bengals won’t lose!
Red (narrator): “Now, for the life of me I still can’t explain it, but those pesky Bengals found a way to lose on a day they weren’t scheduled to play.”
Woke up early today. Going to buy at least five 40s for you.
It’s going to be an interesting day…
I assume you’ll be doing a side-by-side tasting and not trying to drink 5 40s sequentially?
Yes. I may even do a blind taste test
If you pace them between the early, late and night games… you should still be with us… and somewhat alert… tomorrow.
We’re counting on you.
Here’s some eye candy to help you along the way.
Thanks!
HippoBrain plan – have moved teevee to Heroic RedZone Muzak. WIll pull up City of Men v. King’s Afrikan Water Pistols on tablet. Once the competitive portion of that fixture concludes, tablet clicks over to muted Donks/MRSA on Sunday Ticket.
RedshirtBrain plan – open a Trump-themed Hot Dog Stand in Springfield and milk the Inbreed Rednecks for all they are worth.
If the ref red cards a player and then both coaches I think it’s possible it’s the ref, not the player or the coaches.
(Horatio’s doorbell rings; Horatio opens door)
Horatio: “Hello?”
(ref throws up Red Card on Horatio)
Tempted to take the Bears in survivor, with the expectation that there will only be defensive points in the entire game
That was my week 1 strategy. And somehow, it paid off!
No The Broom in the squad. Thoughts, scotchy??
The word “poop!” comes to mind-they’re obviously not even remotely the same squad without him. Curious to see how Pep adjusts.
Clearly Lord Rhodes has offered DeBruyne a lucrative rubber concession in the Congo to sit this one out.
Am I reading this reading this right? We have 5 games in the late afternoon slate?
Yes, Herr Goddell is throwing the plebes a bone to make up for last week’s 10-3, (I think; it was something ridiculous), split.
7-5 is nice recompense for 10-3, especially with the added complication of City/Gooners bleeding into the early window.
Of course since I have a Dad duty to do in the afternoon window.
Going to miss the early slate of games and the Arsenal-Man City tilt as we’ll by at the Mystic Garlic Festival, a celebration of all things garlic and an excellent opportunity to load up on materials to ward off all these damn vampires.
Speaking of Connecticut’s spiritual theme, I read up on witch trails and Connecticut is by far the capital of accusing women of witchcraft. Another dead industry of the nutmeg state to go along whaling.
Dead?
Drifts off recalling those German asparagus festivals of his past…
Bugger. My power just went out. It best come back on soon. PG&E is the worst damn utility company in the entire continent
It’s back, and right after it came back I got an alert for a potential unplannd outage in my area 🙄
There’s not even any extreme weather today and I doubt there’s a usage spike at 7 am on a Sunday
Maybe one of the their rust-bucket towers fell over and they had to cut power before they started another fire.
I always recommend a resource scarcity mindset.
That does seem the most likely answer. Or the bird went on break.
In keeping with today’s preferred business model of just in time delivery.
Walz roasted after declaring ‘we can’t afford four more years of this’ at rally (msn.com)
Either a slip of the tongue or Walz is subconsciously playing both sides?
Balls. It’s a true statement. Trump runs the House of Representatives and Judicial Branch of the U.S. Government from a fucking golf cart.
You can tell from all his campaign’s press releases and lawyer’s motions: they always refer to him as “President Trump” not “Mr.” or “former President”. He thinks he is still President, so they have to play along or incur his wrath. You just know he wants to change his legal first name to “President”.
Whatever happened to “spent the remainder of his days in exile”?
/
It makes no sense. With his money and popularity, he could’ve created a Trump TV News Channel, gotten richer than he’s ever been, and be in position to shape the country into his image into the 2100s.
Thanks for that new recurring nightmare of a dreamscape.
Forgot the exact quote from Walz a few weeks ago, but it was something like, “I’d like to have Thanksgiving dinner again without having to listen to my uncle spouting out all that MAGA crap.”
What’s the problem? We had 4 years of that from 2017-2021 and 4 more years would suck
That’s it! I’m gonna go back to voting for Hunter Biden like was always my preference!
I love football season, but I sure do miss the beach.
“Oh sure, rub it in why don’t you?”
[limps away sobbing]
Robert Edwards
“I can do without it.” – Martin B., Amity Is., NY