Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Talk Amongst Your Friends Version

It’s what I’ll be doing! (BOOTS ON THE GROUND, DFO NOT-CON EDITION, WITH SOME HOT NOODS… it’s ramen, remember that today’s only Wednesday.)

From that to news! Yeah, that’s a segue.

Regarding news from yesterday: Brett Favre with the Spacey Defense. Listen, I’m sorry that all those hits inevitably accelerated such a medical issue, but I don’t see Michael J. Fox defrauding the people of Mississippi! (Also Spin City was a good show.) Meanwhile, the reporter who uncovered the initial fraud has been threatened with contempt of court and jail time due to a defamation lawsuit from the governor at the time of the scandal.

Mike Tomlin finds there’s “no need” to name Justin Fields QB1 while Charmslinger continues to rest and rehab his calf.

Meanwhile, who’ll be the QB for the Dolphins for MNF? Good question! We don’t know. Hell, Mike McDaniel doesn’t know yet.

What’s on?
Pennant race action! (But all of it is on local/regional networks. But a rundown as I duck tomatoes:)
American League Current Standings:
1. x-NYY (clinched home series; magic number to clinch AL East and Wild Card bye is 1, play two more games against 2nd-place BAL; magic number to clinch best record in AL is 3 over CLE)
2. y-CLE (clinched AL Central/Wild Card bye, currently 1.5 GB of NYY for best record in AL)
3. y-HOU (clinched AL West; locked into 3rd seed, will play WC3 in Wild Card Series @ HOU)
4 (WC1). x-BAL (can clinch a home series with win and losses by KC & DET; would need to win out and have NYY lose out to win AL East on tiebreaker)
5 (WC2). KC (tied but have tiebreaker over DET, magic number to clinch WC is 4 over MIN)
6 (WC3). DET (tied with KC, magic number to clinch WC is 4 over MIN)

7. MIN (2 GB); 8. SEA (2 GB, won today); 9. BOS (3.5 GB); 10. TB (5 GB, E# 1)

National League Current Standings:
1. x-LAD (clinched home series; magic number to clinch NL West and Wild Card bye is 4, play 2 more games against 2nd-place SD; magic number to clinch best record in NL/MLB is 5 over PHI)
2. y-PHI (clinched NL East; magic number to clinch Wild Card bye is 2 over MIL; 0.5 GB LAD for best record in NL/MLB, w/ tiebreaker)
3. y-MIL (clinched NL Central, currently 2.5 GB behind PHI for WC bye)
4 (WC1). x-SD (clinched playoff spot, 2 GB of LAD for NL West with 2 left @ LAD and own tiebreaker; magic number to clinch home series is 2 over NYM)
5 (WC2). NYM (+0.5 over AZ, magic number to clinch is 5 vs. ATL, scheduled to play 2 more games @ ATL tonight/tomorrow)
6 (WC3). AZ (0.5 GB of NYM for WC2, +0.5 over ATL, magic number is 5)

7. ATL (0.5 GB, 2 vs. NYM, E# 5)

Relevant games:
In progress/completed between press/publication:
SEA vs. HOU (SEA 8-1, F)
CHC vs. PHI (6:05)
CIN vs. CLE (6:40)
TB vs. DET (6:40)
KC vs. WSH (6:45)
BAL vs. NYY (7:05)
BOS vs. TOR (7:07)
NYY vs. ATL (today and tomorrow postponed, doubleheader? Monday)
MIA vs. MIN (7:40)
SF vs. AZ (9:40)
SD vs. LAD (10:10)

Other relevant games:
March to Ignominy:
LAA vs. CWS (7:40)
37-120 White Sox need to go:
•5-0 to only be tied for the most losses since 1900
•4-1 (or worse) to own the record for most losses since 1900 (’62 Mets)
•3-2 (or worse) to own the worst winning percentage in the expansion era (’62 Mets only played 160 games, going 40-120; 41-121 is still better so they’d have to go 40-122)
•2-3 (or better) to avoid the worst winning percentage since 1900 (1916 Philadelphia A’s, 36-117 or .2353; CWS currently at .2357 thanks to last night’s win)
•1-4 (or worse) to own the worst winning percentage since 1900 (38-124 is .2346; 39-123 is .2407)

Last one out turn off the lights and light the Fisher effigy:
TEX vs. OAK (last two games in Oakland before they fuck off to who even knows)

Lil B’s shout-out to the WNBA (playoffs!) (best of 3)
Caitlin Clark and the Caitlin Clarks vs. Casino Royale (IND vs. CONN, Sun lead 1-0) (7:30, ESPN)
My Very Excellent Mother, etc.. vs. SERPENTINE, BABOU! (Okay, he’s an ocelot) (PHX vs. MIN, Lynx lead 1-0) (9:30, ESPN)

All right, enjoy the fare.

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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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Unsurprised

Fuck sleep. Time is just speeding by and I am supposed to sleep? No.

Unsurprised

Fuck it. I’m going to see about the boxing gym I was going to join in March 2020.

LemonJello

Damn brain won’t to into standby mode…this insomnia really sucks. Sleep is overrated, right?

WCS

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LemonJello

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WCS

When I was a kid, I was terrified of my parents falling asleep before me, because that meant I was the last person on the planet awake.

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yeah right

Happy early Friday!

Despite the fact that I’ve worked the past 3 days I’m still on euro vacation.

We’re seeing James and Johnny Marr at the Orpheum tomorrow which in a weird way was the inspiration for the Ireland trip.

So I’m off work for the next 4 days and have a kick ass concert tomorrow night.

A lot of shit has gone down and is still going down and it’s been incredible.

Tink I need annuder Pint!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Now she’s mopping.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…and now she’s doing this workout video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bh9tr4mRpBo

SonOfSpam

You wouldn’t have to narrate if you just installed those toilet cams I gave you.

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

So it seems you are only allowed to watch Moo Deng for 5 minutes before you have to let other people have a turn, but I still want to go to Thailand just for those 5 minutes

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WCS

I mean, our Hippo would probably pay you not to watch him.

ArmedandHammered

AI sure can make some eye candy, but that is about all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZftIfL5Sqw

2Pack

AI is starting to creep me out.

Doktor Zymm

Totally

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2Pack

Sophia also dislikes it…
She’s for keepin it real…

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WCS

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Unsurprised

.

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Using XCancel to share the full thread. https://xcancel.com/ElenP79608464/status/1836747045840789947

Unsurprised

It’s not fucking fair that they died before they even knew what was happening to them. They should have suffered.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Even the nineteen year-old kid?

SonOfSpam

ESPECIALLY HIM. HE TOUCHED HIMSELF AT NIGHT.

Unsurprised

Collateral damage

Unsurprised

Green Day is playing down the street. I can hear them playing their first big single. Whatsitcalled. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Unsurprised

Playing stadiums in the Pacific Northwest in October. Bold move.

Brocky

Gonna post this again just because

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WCS

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2Pack

That’s me in the spotlight…

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Unsurprised

Funny. The karaoke scene in Aftersun just ended.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Unsurprised

No one could have ever seen it coming that a NYPD cop is a corrupt piece of fuck.

Horatio Cornblower

There’s a chance that Nate Silver may not be all that smart.

ballsofsteelandfury
Horatio Cornblower
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

LEMME TELL YA THESE CONNECTICUT SUN KNOCKING CAITLIN CLARK OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS I CALL IT WOMEN’S WORK BECAUSE IT INVOLVES SWEEPING.

SonOfSpam

Dr Mrs ain’t gonna like that. (not because of the sexism, but because of the vacuum erasure)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, no, she sweeps too. She was sweeping literally fifteen minutes ago.

(I washed the dishes, though.)

Doktor Zymm

ALL FLOOR CLEANING METHODS MATTER!

SonOfSpam

racist

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Damned straight.” – my dog

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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SonOfSpam

Good; it’s almost curling season.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

By a funny coincidence, she actually had her hair done today.

(just a cut, though – no curling)

Unsurprised

I saw a video the other day of a puma dragging a vacuum upstairs. Fussy fuckers.

Redshirt
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Performative nonsense, unless I’ve misunderstood the story.

BugEyedBoo

Mayor just being a PITA.

Horatio Cornblower

NYC Mayor Eric Adams has been indicted, which is awesome because he seems like a genuine prick. I wonder how long it will be before he’s “diagnosed” with Parkinson’s disease?

Oh, and fuck Brett Favre and Phil Bryant with a rusty nail file.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

WEASELO PARA ALCALDE!

Unsurprised

The last time a corrupt cop was in a federal lockup with a sexual predator, they nearly succeeded in killing Epstein. I wonder if Adams will botch the hit on Diddy.

jjfozz

Who fucking puts on a wedding on a Sunday? Even worse, it’s gonna keep me from watching the Ravens. fucking so dumb

SonOfSpam

You’re typing like you’re coming down with Covid. Please don’t be selfish and attend the wedding.

ArmedandHammered

Also, let them know that attending a non religious event on Sunday is against your religion.

ArmedandHammered

And your religion is the NFL, because I have been to a catholic wedding and it is more sermon than wedding.

litre_cola

Oh yeah, Fozz be Italian, that bad boy is 4 hours long! Free wine though, with a wee cracker.

SonOfSpam

Everyone is breakin out the good wifebeater

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The last Catholic wedding I went to the priest kept mispronouncing the bride’s name and four months later the groom was busted in an online underage sex sting.

That wedding was also notable because my girlfriend (at the time) and I overheard a young woman complaining that the woman in the room next door was being way too, ahem, expressive. Imagine what an ego boost it was for me to realize that *we* were the ones she was complaining about.

litre_cola

Interpretive dance can get noisy with all the tribal music.

Unsurprised

Priests know better than to get caught in those stings.

Unsurprised

Loudly play the Rains of Castamere on your car stereo as you roll up.

Redshirt

Just say you f—-ed the bride at the ceremony and they’ll throw you out in time for the 2nd Half. If you’re related to her, maybe in time for the 2nd Quarter.

Doktor Zymm

Stream it on your phone and set up a pocket projector in the vestry or cloakroom or wherever

Doktor Zymm

Eric Adams keeping up the tradition of crooked cops in power and making a strong play to bring NYC back into contention for Most Corrupt City

SonOfSpam

Wumbo Wednesday Weaselo for mayor!

Unsurprised

Speaking of crooked cops in power …

Unsurprised

I need a hobby.

Doktor Zymm

I have too many, don’t have time for them all and still want to try new stuff when possible. What are your parameters? Indoor/outdoor, active/sedentary, social/solitary, etc

Unsurprised

I need someone to punch me in the face.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Take up boxing!

Or being married to Ray Rice, I guess.

Doktor Zymm

Bubble soccer results in punching yourself in the face more often than you would expect, maybe give that a try. Also a high risk of ankle injuries!

Unsurprised

What are your hobbies? I can do anything, but I’m stuck in idle trying to decide what to start at

Doktor Zymm

Well, the ones I do regularly are reading, horseback riding, word puzzles (crosswords and such), playing Civ, and points/miles travel.

Lots of other stuff that I do occasionally, like electronics (arduino), jigsaw puzzles, ice skating, hiking, leather working, and some home DIY stuff. I can’t scuba dive anymore until I get medical clearance after getting skin bends.

A bunch of other stuff I tried out and didn’t end up stickin with for one reason or another, like right before the pandemic I learned enough about sailing to volunteer as crew on other people’s boats, but I’ve forgotten that now. And I have some half knitted stuff that I haven’t touched since college.

Maybe check out the local park service or community college? A lot of times they have cheap classes, and signing up for something is a good commitment device. Groupon used to be good for finding stuff too, though don’t know if it still is. Helped me out a lot when I first moved to Chicago and was trying not to hate everything

Doktor Zymm

Oh, and I still regularly play a bit of poker

ArmedandHammered

One word: Warhammer

Unsurprised

I’m done with RPGs. I gave them 35 years.

ArmedandHammered

I was thinking more of the war gamming aspect.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Mmmmm…war gams…

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Unsurprised

I don’t have practicing lawyer money to be into the minis.

ArmedandHammered

Neither do I. The new squad based sets are nice, much cheaper and the rules have been simplified to make the game go faster.

Gatoraids

Warhammer Total War on Steam, especially when Gabe is blessing with us a sale

BugEyedBoo

D&D.

Gatoraids

Cooking for leisure and pleasure

Redshirt

https://x.com/CleGuardians/status/1839096682148970771/mediaViewer?currentTweet=1839096682148970771&currentTweetUser=CleGuardians

Welp, I think we may be getting some fisticuffs in Dirt Bengals and Dirt Browns.

But to be fair, being called the Kentucky Reds and the Cincinnati is in Kentucky shirts should’ve earned a 4-seam fastball to the back of the Leadoff Batter’s ribs, but I don’t believe it happened. Either due to the Reds players not getting a shit or the Reds starting pitcher not having the accuracy to even hit a batter on purpose.

SonOfSpam

lol imagine fighting over “which Ohio place is less shitty”

Redshirt

It’s more funny a playoff team breaking out t-shirts and smoking cigars and celebrating winning the season series against a team with a losing record who fired the manager.

I mean it is their Twitter guy doing it, but their Twitter guy doesn’t have to stand 60 feet from a guy throwing a baseball 90 mph in your direction.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Kids, kids…”

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Doktor Zymm

Cincinnati airport (CVG) IS in Kentucky though. There’s a great bourbon shop there, I got one of the Maker’s barrel expressions there. I would have some of that right now but it’s in Chicago. I guess I’ll have some Blantons instead

Redshirt

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cincinnati/Northern_Kentucky_International_Airport

tl;dr Cincinnati city officials were stupid and Kentucky took advantage of it. Also, it helps that Hebron, KY doesn’t get fog or flooding, and nobody in the US Congress owned a map of the Greater Cincinnati Area.

Doktor Zymm

So sexy

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scotchnaut

An ancient memory came back to me-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-f5svtbu5c&ab_channel=bemuzeduzually

Any other Canucks remember this?

Redshirt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOV4vo1eo1M&pp=ygUXYWJjIDcgb2FrbGFuZCBhcyBzcG9ydHM%3D

Well said. I would’ve thrown in some profanity and questioned the size of the owner’s ego and genitalia, but still, top marks.

Brocky

Cmon, the white Sox start winning only when I pay attention?

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Don T

Well I’m ready for some noods. I already ironed my ankle-length slurping bib

SonOfSpam

Hippo – I am getting the ultimate shame pizza tonight. I’m buying it frozen at the grocery store. (Why yes, my wife is out of town, thanks for asking)

ballsofsteelandfury

DiGiorno?

SonOfSpam

Depends (on what brand might be on sale). I’m trash enough to buy store brand.

ballsofsteelandfury

If you can find it, get the Croissant Crust.

Good shit

ballsofsteelandfury

I know Smart n Final has it…

litre_cola

Croissant stuffed crust would be the tits.

SonOfSpam

Store brand. $4.99.

That’s some quality shame!

litre_cola

That’s like 8 litres of maple syrup!

Gatoraids

Get Screaming Sicilian for store bought

Doktor Zymm

Yes, that is legit good frozen pizza

SonOfSpam

Yes, but it was 3 dollars more. I can retire 5 minutes earlier with the savings!

Doktor Zymm

I got a bunch of them on sale once for less than store brand, even though it weighs twice as much! $4.99 seems pricey for store brand pizza actually, you go to a Whole Foods or something?

SonOfSpam

Nope, Stater Bros. Couldn’t go any cheaper on a normal-sized pizza.

Doktor Zymm

For Ultimate shame I think 7-11 has full size for $2.99. Haven’t tried em, but they do look like pizza

SonOfSpam

Oh that sounds terrible. I MUST HAVE IT.

litre_cola

Should probably buy taquitos too just to be safe.

Doktor Zymm

And some corn nuts

SonOfSpam

Well duh.

Unsurprised

For what it’s worth, those are decent enough to have made the guys behind the business 7-11 pizzas billionaires. So it must be good enough.

Gatoraids

I stock up on them when they are at Publix BOGO. That and hot honey on them is more than good enuff

Redshirt

Party Pizza. It’s the perfect size ratio to overeat but not feeling ashamed about overeating.

Unsurprised

One of these caused me to go to the hospital.

Redshirt

That’s cause you did eat enough shame pizza.

Redshirt

…or didn’t for those who can type or have functioning edit privileges.

BugEyedBoo

The Aldi not quite frozen pizzas aren’t too bad. I like the thin crust pepperoni and sausage. Pick up a bag of shredded Italian cheese blend and some canned mushrooms and you have a large Holy Trinity for about $12

litre_cola

Canned mushrooms? I would rather drink a bottle of Malort and Skyline Chili out of the can as a chaser.

Last edited 1 month ago by litre_cola
BugEyedBoo

Eh, it beats no mushrooms at all.