TGIF! No time to chat. First pitch of the Hater’s World Series is at hand. Remember, at least one these shithead teams will leave this series labeled as chokers and losers.
Survival – Personal Edition
Speaking of haterade, let’s list some insults that could be lobbed on the field.
- You suck
- You stink
- Hit the shower, your game stinks
- i’m going to beat you like a drum
- Pay attention, class is in session
- I’m going to eat you up and spit out the pieces I don’t like
- Are you playing the same game as me?
- You know the game started, right?
- When are you going to start playing?
- When do the real players get here?
- Did your mama teach you how to play?
- Did your infant child teach you how to play?
- Not bad — for a monkey
- You forget your glasses?
- You forget your walker?
- You forgot how to play?
- You need a doctor?
- Shuffleboard court is over there
- Tetherball pole is over there
- Ping pong table is in the locker room
- Take a seat, the grown ups are playing now
- Bring it on
- How’s that feel? Good? Bet it doesn’t
- I can wake you up when it’s over
- Stick to losing, you’re great at it
- The good news is it’s all downhill from here
- I could tell you that you’re doing well, but I’m not a liar
- If you warned me how terrible you were, we would have spotted you some runs.
Feel free to add your own below.
Click here to get to commenting
Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
Thanks Mr Ayo that first lady gets the prize this week.
I’m frankly astonished you were the first to appreciate her. Excellent choice as always.
She was my favorite as well.
I was just keeping that a secret and hoping we were doing a draft later.
Tough break, she just left the clubhouse with Nestor.
Absolutely no way Nestor closes a deal like that, and I have some very recent and definitive proof of his inability to close that I can show you.
And my favorite team insult is, you guys could fuck up a two car funeral.
Sexy friday appropriate perhaps
boone vs. roberts is gonna be the world series managerial version of the nfc east in 2020
If I lawyered like Aaron Boone manages I’d have been digging ditches for a living by 28. Absolutely brain dead fucking asshole.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UT00dDCXj_s
Wow.
Hello, sir, I just read on the cocktail thread that you have multiple types of basil? Other than thai and American what do you have?
https://youtu.be/fiCZP09F6FQ?si=u1Sk6H2uDiiHmmQw
Aaron Boone, everyone.
“Throw it down the middle, maybe inner part of the plate. He’ll never expect it!”
That’s on Nestor, and fuck his Trump-loving ass anyway, but he never should have been in the game to begin with. That’s such a stupid decision.
That ball may renter the atmosphere by Christmas.
Goddammit
If I’m being honest, Nestor Cortes talks a lot of shit for a mediocre pitcher and he’s a huge Trump guy, so fuck him. If it had to happen to any Yankee he’s #1 on my list.
Absolutely no reason for him to have been in the game at that point to begin with. Coming off an injury, not a closer, facing Ohtani, Betts, and Freeman, with two men already on.
Aaron Boone would lose a chess game in the first round of the Special Olympics.
Tim Hill was RIGHT FUCKING THERE.
He must not have been available on 7 days rest.
The equivalent of the “I care too much” interview answer.
Seriously, I am going to be up until 4 am stewing about how goddamn dumb that decision was.
Wow! That’s a way to end a game
THIS BOTTOM OF THE DODGERS ORDER, I CALL ‘EM ‘A MISSISSIPPI FAMILY REUNION,’ BECAUSE THEY’RE HAVING THEIR WAY WITH COUSINS!
Almost time for Horatio reacts reasonably!
I assume Lowratio has already fled the premises.
Lowratio’s in for a rough two weeks, regardless which squadron is victorious.
Bold of you to assume Boone can drag this past Week One.
I don’t expect this to get to Halloween.
I do expect Lowratio to experience the misery till Veteran’s Day.
yea, never a good idea to have a guy named cousins throwing a ball in a sports game
Changing planes at Seatac except I’m not, gonna get right back on the same plane, lol.
That doesn’t seem all that friendly, if I’m honest.
poor showing from Idnonesia if I’m being honest.
roberts and boone in an extra-innings scenario is how the sports meme economy number go up
lmao
Got the WS on one screen and USC-Rutgers ne other.
Any other LA-NY area matchups I should watch?
Free dirt ball!
seems bad!
You’d think it would make it very clear that this election is Billionaires vs. Everyone Else.
God I hate baseball.
“God I hate lawyers.”
— Baseball
Yeah. “Baseball”
Throwback palate cleanser
https://x.com/iamtherog/status/1584576796002877441
My son: “I’ve had three cocktails, which is just enough to buy a plane ticket to LA and jump Aaron Boone before tomorrow’s game”
I’m not sure he’s kidding and I may need the LA contingent on stand-by for bail.
He was with us the whole time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvzHum9457w
Title appropriate.
Coming live from Allegheny County PSAP.
haldo
If I were as bad at my job as Aaron Boone is I would not last a week.
He has a 3 year contract for $3.45 million a year.
https://www.twitter.com/ginamarie0518/status/1818461777820017098?s=61&t=_JKGMY5gden3sHKw6_r29A
https://www.twitter.com/sondraa/status/1830791733275402496?s=61&t=_JKGMY5gden3sHKw6_r29A
Patches is an A+ follow.
Very much so.
Link doesn’t work?
Relax, it’s live now. I got lost in Beybey’s crotch for a bit.
Who among us?
Per the below, it’s being reported that the Post was going to endorse Harris and Bezos killed it.
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2024/10/washington-post-harris-trump-bezos-endorsement-fail.html
From a pragmatic standpoint, it makes sense. Harris won’t use the federal government to retaliate, but Trump absolutely would. Plus endorsements really don’t mean shit, and the paper already loses him money.
Sure, all true.
Still some cowardly shit.
Ownership isn’t supposed to influence editorial decisions though, so while it may make sense from one point of view, it should be balanced against the number of subscribers who want their paper to have at least a semblence of journalistic credibility
Well, they’ve got one less subscriber now.
I said this somewhere else, but who gives a fuck if the Post or LA Times makes an endorsement? If you need an editorial endorsement to decide who to vote for then you obviously don’t read newspapers anyway.
That said, Bezos is an enormous piece of shit and if you really want to hurt him, while not incidentally doing a world of good for local businesses, stop buying shit from Amazon.
Doesn’t matter, AWS is where the most money is and good luck boycotting that
And the “crowd” goes wild!
https://twitter.com/yalefootball/status/1849988540551053587
That is what is known as “mashing a tater.”
I called that one talking to my son and a friend. Flaherty threw the same pitch twice and Stanton just missed both. I texted “he throws a third one there and Stanton’s gonna clobber it, only question is if it’s fair”
And then he threw it a third time.
Not sure whether Beyonce and Willie Nelson can compete with The Hulkster.
Who are you going to trust, libtard? This amazingly hot and successful singer, and Beyonce, or this professional wrestler who made a bunch of money on a lawsuit that involved him cucking his best friend?
Happy Halloween Y’all
Sexy Velma will never not get my vote.
Sexy ghosts are always sexy
We should do an off season Best Cosplay bit.
“We called Al from Angels in the Outfield to help you win, but even he couldn’t pull off that miracle.”
“Your brain runs on farts instead of oxygen”
Once my brother and I were at a UConn-Pitt soccer game, back when UConn let you heckle. We got on one of the Pitt players so badly their team tried to get us thrown out. Security asked us to leave, we refused, and the cop who came over said “are they swearing” “no” “Well, whaddya want me to do about it?” and we went right back at him.
The only thing I remember was that he was short and yelling “Come on, 13, move those little legs!!!” as we was chasing after some UConn player.
There was another time a player on the other team was named Lynch, and he gave up on a deep ball, UConn got it and scored. One of my friend’s yelled that “Lynch is Irish for ‘quit'” and we were off to the races. The rest of the game it was “My wife thought I was drinking too much, so I Lynch’d” “I couldn’t stand my boss anymore so I Lynch’d my job”
And yes, I was well aware of the potentially problematic nature of these taunts while we were making them but a) this was probably more than 20 years ago and b) we didn’t name the kid that so obviously quit on a ball. You play the hand you’re dealt.
So you’ve always chosen violence against the little people
Although if this is Lowratio’s origin story it might just be the one
He was way too tall for that.
I got yelled at by the Caltech coach for yelling at his keeper something about how his SAT scores couldn’t help him now. We were beating them like 8-0 at that point.
The only time I saw UConn do something like that it was a preseason game against some sort of Canadien juniors all-star team. It was something like 5-0 when the UConn fans started cheering for the Canadien goalie and offering encouraging chants between the absolute bombardment the poor kid was taking.
“Wow, what a gorgeous sunset over the waves of the Pacific!”
“Those are the mountains. Everything’s on fire.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjOL6UQo04I
https://www.si.com/nfl/aaron-rodgers-roasted-nfl-fans-for-sat-like-words-used-about-jets
My god what a moron. Even the author gets in a dig about their “lachrymose season”
Posted without comment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxLjvY5CrjQ
“You couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a fucking boat!”
Personal favorite of mine.
And Tommy Lasorda’s (about Kurt Bevacqua) (also peppered with f-words)
Fernando Valenzuela was huge in the last NY-LA World Series, as a rookie no less.
Reminds me of MAD Magazine publishing something about Fernandomania and writing that Fernando didn’t get nervous pitching in the World Series “because no one told him it was the World Series.”
RIP Fernando.
he was briefly a #BFIB, too! Which I am sure is what most ppls remember
Just looked up his Baseball Reference page. LA, California, Baltimore, Philly, Padres, Cardinals.
I had no idea.
His innings pitched the first 7 seasons of his career is just insane.
California? Who dat?
In this house we recognize Rod Carew’s California Angels, (and my LL team), and not the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Over By The Jack-In-The-Box No Not That One The Other One.
lol there’s no Jack in the Box how stupid, just a McDonalds and a Carls Jr. Game, set, match.
I am really too tired and give-no-fucks to shave and shower. But the need to shave and shower would prevent half-decent sleep. Quite the White People Problems going on here.
#4 this week!
Also, to add to the list of shit-talking:
Does your husband play too?
One more:
Did you eat breakfast this morning?
(after a short shot)
Oh, the bra straps must be too tight.
I used that with a new co-worker back in the 90s.
Turned out, he actually had a husband. Oopsie.
So you were just making polite conversation instead of a mildly sexist taunt?
Yes, inquiring about spousal hobbies and the like.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83CCOJILuHQ
A hearty FUCK YOU to Jeff Bezos.
Nobody likes a Quisling, baldy!
A quisling who looks like a circumcised dick is probably in for a bad time.
That’s pretty evergreen. You’re gonna need to be more specific.
I assume he’s talking about WaPo as the most timely reason, but agree that it’s a fine sentiment regardless
And fuck the LA Times owner too
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/media/2024/oct/25/patrick-soon-shiong-the-billionaire-la-times-owner-who-blocked-harris-endorsement
John Smoltz commenting on how the strike zone is tight rather than (correctly) pointing out that we’re in the second inning and the ump has already missed 7-8 ball and strike calls.
Umpiring crew for the WORLD SERIES has two umpires with Top 20 scores over the season, and none in the Top 10. One of them is like 73. All seniority and union bullshit.
Nawt fahr?
If I were one of the 10 Top 10 umpires who didn’t get the assignment I would certainly think so.
Autoroute 15 superseding Interstate 87? Sortie?!
That’s it! I’m voting for Trump!!!
Well, it is Friday, after all.
It’s like two bags of sand…
Like those stress squeeze balls
Jésus, that baby is getting squeezed!
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That gif is great and those are wonderful!
Yeah. They were always big, but they got huge after she had kids
yo’ mama chews tobacc-ah
and your team ain’t no good!
I prefer the French version
If you give America truth serum, this also applies to Harris and Trump.
It’s like the “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore” line. Fuck that. I want to stay. They’s the fucking dickheads who should be launched into space.
*They’re
Reading “The Devil’s Chessboard” about Allen Dulles. THAT dude really was deep state, and also a traitor to the US, Nazi sympathizer (he helped quite a few of them escape justice after the war as well), and directly responsible for a good chunk of unrest and anti-American sentiment in the world today. Trying not to think about the election while reading. Very well written.
He was ass deep in JFK’s assassination, too.
Such a messed up dude
will add to me booky-book list
In elementary school gym we went with the ever popular “we want a pitcher, not a glass of water”
Oh right, we said “we want a pitcher, not a belly itcher”
Also popular!
2, 6, and 10 HUZZAH!!!
/also, fuck the Manfred Special WS
Save some for the rest of us!
Hey! Hands off my future ex-wife!