To The Games!
Saints/Chargers:
Olave is back but the presence of Rattler puts a hard ceiling on his ability to produce. LA seems ok at 3-3 but there are cracks showing-they’ve been outscored 55-34 in the second half and have yet to score a TD in the 4th quarter in five straight games. Despite Harbaugh’s efforts, Herbert threw for over 300 yards last week.
Bills/Seahawks:
Josh has yet to throw an INT this year! Amari had 66 and a TD during his debut-it’s just that easy to upgrade your wr room if you want to. Wasn’t that what everyone was saying at the start of the year? I mean, Curtis Samuel, really? With rook Coleman being freed of the #1 cb expect more 125 yard games like last week. Metcalf has a sprained MCL so I doubt the staff will trot him out there this week.
Panthers/Broncos:
I do these things every week yet I was surprised to see that Denver is above .500. And they’ve beaten the Raiders, Saints and Bucs by an average of 19 points! Things are looking even better what with Carolina and confidence-less Bryce Young being served up on a platter.
Chiefs/Raiders:
K.C. will win this one of course but when does Patty course correct his tendency to throw pics? He’s got 8 so far to go with his piddly 6 TD’s. Thank god the refs are in the team’s back pocket. Kelce has yet to score-is he waiting for the stretch run?
Bears/Commies:
It’s been forever since a Chi/Wash. game was compelling or relevant but here we are. Both teams are doing great against the spread as well-the visitors today are 4-1-1 and the homers are 5-2. Caleb seems to be in the process of turning things around-in his most recent three wins he’s had 7 TD’s and only the 1 INT.
Watch and comment to your heart’s delight.
thoroughly bourgeois performance by Chi****
Let’s all raise a glass of sherry to my colleague Ladd McConkey! What an outstanding snatch and dash to reward his squadron with an extra 7 points! Tally-ho!
Fun fact: 5 is the 3rd most likely Scorigami score, trailing only 1 and 4. Which adds up to 5.
To Dok’s question and Rikki’s parental dialogue, this classic was seen as highly effective in its time and clearly still relevant:
https://youtu.be/LiG0AE8zdTU?si=Cy7W4vAU8ApfgGkt
Hard to believe this one wasn’t satire
https://youtu.be/2cwqHB6QeUw?si=VQpFjsgkk8l0AH2y
Oh I’ve seen this one, it’s a classic and i think futurama has parodies it although that might just be in my imagination
Yea, turning this shit performance off.
Yep. Off to get 1st dinner for me.
JFC
Thicc Pic
Not ideal fat man sudden change.
I have 2 cats and 2 dogs laying/sleeping on me and my blanket. I haven’t been able to get up for 45 mins to get a beer.
Send help.
I’m sending thoughts and prayers. Good luck.
Sorry. I’m not leaving the house. It’s too shitty out there. See you come …
2028?
I bought some military surplus drones and I’m trying to convert them to beer delivery but I haven’t quite figured out how to override their original programming of just murdering entire families so can’t help quite yet
Buy Russian next time
(I mean, comparatively speaking. Or pre-Kursk Ukrainian.)
I tried that and just ended up with a bunch of boudoir photography of Putin and a coup in Western Africa
I’d have thought you’d ask us to send beer.
Ugh, getting Northern Virginia political ads suuuucks
Oh good, Maryland senate ads too.
Has there ever been a non-shitty political ad?
https://youtu.be/wz_V4lRdtjo?si=cDfB6UmN42BA_uh4
And then this classic, too:
https://youtu.be/KAG37Kw1-aw?si=qQ-zy9jhOTtJHMTX
Oh that’s right! Caleb is from the DC area
Dan Quinn has Ekeler in fantasy
Brady is noticeably worse this week. Maybe he has a cold, or just got some bad trucker speed.
I assume being part owner of the Raiders comes with a solid hookup for bad trucker speed amongst other things, so might be he’s assimilating
It would be funny if he slowly morphed into HI I’M MARK DAVIS‘s clone
A mini-me type deal.
I can’t wait till he gets the haircut!
Maybe he’s nervous about an upcoming court date, which I assume is also part of the new owner welcome package.
Has he criticized anyone yet that he isn’t allowed to as an “owner”
If the Commies continue to show out, Hippo might have to resuscitate his failed NFL Commissioner Uncle Joe Stalin kharacter.
Welp, I tried to convince my dad in Florida to vote for Harris. The only positive thing I can say about the conversation is that we didn’t end up yelling at each other.
Will he vote against that ghoul Rick Scott at least?
In his mind, he’s voting against Kamala (she’s “two-faced”), not for Trump. So I’m sure he’s cooked up a reason why he dislikes Scott’s opponent. I didn’t even want to touch whether he’ll vote for Gaetz; that really *would* have ended in shouting.
Did you point out that Trump has 3 chins and chins are part of the face? Get him to vote third party at least
Judge Doom-looking morherfucker
“Dad, maybe voting isn’t for everyone”
That’s the best I can hope for; that he’ll take my argument about Trump wanting revenge on blue states (that all his children and grandchildren live in) to heart and just skip voting entirely.
We could have a Dolly Parton HT score in LA!
40-DD?
Looks more like a Superb Owl number.
It’s National Tight Ends Day?
Ok
and Balls is too malt liquor crunk to enjoy it!!
Pretty sure every day is tight ends day for him
My favorite taco shop in all of LA.
But, guys?
About that logo?
The light skin is to be inclusive to guero customers
Makes sense because I’m guero as FUCK!
We thank you for your support
TAYLOR SWIFT ESCALATES
Why didn’t they show TayTay?
Is she not there?
Are they breaking up?
What’s happening here?
Glad I have some billable work to do while I mostly ignore SNF.
Also, where did this Commies defensing unit come from??
No idea! I’m toying with the possibility that Dan Quinn is actually a really good coach. It’s a bunch of kids, so I guess they’re living up to their potential or something odd like that
You never know, some dudes really DO learn from the first go-round. Todd Bowles doing pretty well, too.
Stalingrad
Can we Seahawks fans vote players off the team at halftime?
When the NFL eventually hits a downward slide and merges with American Idol or whatever that will be a great feature
I’ve got a CVS receipt sized list ready.
Oh, shit, I’m supposed to care about this game. Fine, tuning in to Bears v Commies
all hail teh DIALECTIC!
I’m gonna go ahead and declare next Sunday National Zymm’s fantasy team players day just in case it works out like this tight ends day thing
*checks vodka league schedule*
This is the only Mayhem that I acknowledge:
Not reverend?
thought bears vs commies was decided in 1917
Still a battle for hearts and minds in SF
All the SF commies became libertarian techbros
When I have wet balls, the best place to throw them is certainly inside.
WTF Allen?
— John Dulles, November 22, 1963
/suddenly bagpipes play softly in Vancouver
By God that’s beerguyrob’s music!
https://youtu.be/0H_jL8Tiowk?t=22
.
just as digestible
as the real thing, I meant to add
But I fucking love haggis.
I also love haggis.
Then you must have had a much better one than I had in Ireland.
There is your 1st problem. Ireland.
The last Carolina Denver game I remember was a Super Bowl. Life comes at you fast.
I really did not think my hatred of Tom Brady could get any stronger until I had to listen to him call a Seahawks game. I should’ve gone to this game simply so I didn’t have to listen to this asshole.
SAP option?
I’d rather listen to a Dan Fouts, Joe Buck, and Tony Siragusa booth.
It hits even harder now, but David Cross has a great line: “I’d rather listen to the death rattle of my only child.”
Legit
Washington need all GOLD uniforms
I’ll sign that petition
Welp. Fuck me.
Josh Allen didn’t have an interception until now? We are in the darkest timeline
Skerry Terry on teh Sex Cannon play!!!
I could die happy if Saints/Clips ended 3-2.
I mean it’s within the realm of possibility
Would really challenge this image
PUNT COVERAGE WOO!
Nix is really, really stupid.
You’re telling me that a grown man named Bo is dumb as hell? I’m shocked! Shocked, I tell you!
as a Son of teh South, ah would NEVAR criticize Bo or Luke Duke
/or ESPECIALLY Daisy
Bo Jackson is still alive, bro
I can’t speak to Bo’s intelligence, but guys who keep their mouth shut (as he generally does) always come across as much more intelligent than guys who yap all the time.
We can start referring to a really dumb play as a “bonix”.
Afternoon, all. The New York Jets lost yet again to New England. Life is good.
Burn it down! MAGA! Bring back Shula!
But Qaron lost, so there is a silver lining in this shitstorm.
i held my nose and cheered for them. I am so tainted now.
Meteor
You’re bad, and should feel bad.
Fireman Ed after the game
Minshew Mania is back in Vegas? On purpose?
Hey, Bryce Young did a thing!
Is Bo Nix good??
Sorta? He’s nawt awful
He’s not rocking certainly.
so far hes a Goonie
Very not. He’s a good scrambler is all.
Ugh, it’s the worst Washington unis
Although if looking like the Steelers helps the defense I guess I’m ok with that
They need all-good unis
It’s like someone screenshot the Adobe with the name clicked on and highlighted but they used it anyway.
Feel like Bills@Seabirds must be a fun crowd
PirateSloth is great.
Asshole with eight (8) season tickets that sat next to me last night at the KRAKEN game not offering me a seat today is the opposite argument.
They’d have thrown me out of the stadium due to my cussing out the Seahawks after that NFL BLITZ 3rd and goal bullshit.
Hot take: Sydney Sweeney in a bubble bath is a great marketing strategy.
Do you want me to gif bomb this thread? Because I can do rhat. I have tons of shit to do but I am an idiot.
THIS NEW ENGLAND FRANCHISE LEMME TELL YA I CALL THEM SAUDI NATIONALS BECAUSE THEY DESTROYED SOME NEW YORK JETS AND IT HAS GIVEN US A PATRIOTS DAY ON THE CALENDAR
When I checked my fantasy teams I was 2% and 3% so despite quite a few players to go I’m gonna ignore fantasy for the rest of the day. Here’s to the late window not sucking!
Also, still in for Survivor, tied with the other 15k or so remaining in the ESPN overall competition
BAHAHAHAHA stupid jets
When the Yankees lose a game late on a big score I consider it a crushing disappointment.
When the Jets lose a game late on a big score I call it par for the fucking course.