Thus far, not a soul has come to Apartment Weaselo, possibly because it’s the 18th floor, so it’ll be a quiet night. Well, after my gig. Which is not a Halloween gig to my knowledge. But it would be awesome if it was.
Now that I’m officially Professor Weaselo, I’d want to go as Professor Poopybutthole. Oooweee. But I don’t have a three-piece tweed suit, and I can’t imagine those would be cheap, and I also can’t imagine those costumes are lying around your local Spirit Halloween. Maybe Rick, Morty, and, I don’t know, Mr. Meeseeks? I don’t know, I don’t go to Spirit Halloween. (If you have to buy a Morty costume I’m judging you, you do what I did and buy a yellow T shirt from Old Navy for like $5 and accessorize.)
Okay, what else is going on?
–ELITE purgatory for the Clots. You knew that Anthony Richardson would be a project, but you threw him in there, got him hurt in like 4 games last year, and then threw him back in there. That is not trusting whatever semblance of process there is. You know what else would help? Communication, like telling the offense about the change.
-Legatron needs more spark, to the IR (left knee). Two kickers have been signed to the practice squad, Riley Patterson and Spencer Shrader.
-Speaking of mocking my teams, Aaron Rodgers to Hot Ones for his new cayenne water! Okay, not yet, because why put Sean Evans to that, but also at the same time watching him vs. Da Bomb seems like the kind of thing that could be amusing to me. Or he taps out after, like, sauce 2 or 3. We’re talking DJ Khaled levels here.
-CrimeBeat! update: Jameson Williams now has a warrant out for his arrest. Y’know, I would hazard that he might need someone to sit him down and tell him to get his shit straightened out. For his sake, for all our sakes.
What’s on tonight?
Drag this back to LA… please? (Freddie Freeman’s terrorism of the other New York team that he hadn’t previously terrorized vs. “Hey, Judge got a hit!”) (World Series Game 5, LAD vs. NYY, Dodgers lead 3-1, 8:00, Fox)
Defeating Liberty, one week at a time vs. The atrocity of Big Red (Kennesaw State vs. Western Kentucky, 7:30, ESPN2)
Iceball
Chess Rivalry! N vs. K (VGK vs. LAK, 10:00, TNT)
NBA Action… even less cares!
Fuck ’em in general vs. Also fuck ’em, but especially Reggie and Tyrese. And especially Reggie! (BOS vs. IND, 7:00, ESPN)
Wemby and pals vs. Vichy Sonics (SAS vs. OKC, 9:30, ESPN)
Women’s Lesser Footy
Friendly: US vs. Argentina (7:00, TNT)
U17 World Cup: Potential Nuclear Kerfuffle Edition! (US vs. North Korea, 7:00, FS1)
Like last night, I’ll be at my gig and we’ll see if there’ll be a primal scream on the bandstand if someone in pinstripes does a good.
We play today, we win today. Das it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrE9apbs0Pk
PING: Strike three
PING! Verdugo strikes out. Doyers win the Fall Classic.
That’s all she wrote. Let the rioting begin.
20 mph difference between those pitches from the same arm angle and release point is just filthy
I thought you weren’t watching!!
I wasn’t. Something happinged
Normally you see a team make a play in the series to win the championship.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a team make that many miscues in a row to lose the championship. Plus Game 1.
Exceptional amount of derpage to lose this game too.
The Series should be headed back to LA with the Yankees down 3-2. That’s on Boone.
But it’s also true that the Yankees just flat out didn’t deserve to win this Series, and that’s on pretty much all of them not named Luke Weaver.
PING! Wells strikes out. 2 out, none on. T-minus 1 out.
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQe09RNVgOR-1cI66BuhWoHy_GeLpUTYH-8SQ&s
K.
One out left.
PING! Volpe grounds out to 3rd. 1 out, none one. T-minus 2 outs.
Down to two outs
Always a good situation to have your 7-8-9 batters up with the game and season on the line.
PING: BOTTOM OF THE NINTH! LAST CHANCE!
Last chance for what?
For the Yankees to unfuck the evening
So not a last dance or last chance for love?
YES Network Foxy, Wells, Dugie. Last chance saloon.
Can’t give away games. DEFINITELY not plural. That’s more of the fire Boone reason, just a continuous head up an ass.
The argument will be that Boone didn’t make all those errors, which is true. But the counterargument is that Boone tolerates and excuses all those errors, and there never being any consequences is why the team keeps making them.
Boone needs to go, but having gotten the Yankees to Game 5 of the World Series we’re pretty much doomed to his dipshittery for however long he wants to be there.
PING! Balk due to a 3rd throw to 1st. 1 on second base, 1 out.
PING! Walk. 2 on, 1 out. Pitching change to Cig Lighter, Jr.
Wait that’s a rule now? Only 2 throws before a balk?
Yeah, implemented with the pitch clock to speed up games.
That’s a really stupid rule and an even stupider mistake.
Yeah, after the 2d throw I was muttering to myself he just screwed up.
3 disengagements are a balk. You can throw over a third time but if you don’t get him, it’s a balk.
/Nerd.gif
PING! Non-entity Tommy Edman strikes out. 2 on, 2 out.
PING! Ground out to 3rd. Middle of the 9th. Yanks have 3 outs to save their season.
Kings are winning the Chess Hockey game. That was excellent, Weaselo.
I seldom understand a thing he writes, but I loooooove to read it!
PING! End of the 8th on a Rizzo strikeout. Doyers up 7-6. T-minus 3 outs.
Treinen’s slider is filthier than Trump’s boxers.
sourry your lordship
Brick, are you going to be taking photos of any world series celebration riots?
PING
Did I jinx it?
Dear Lord I hope not
We need Brick to concentrate on more pictures from the beach y’all.
Jesús!
Here’s one:
This event, combined with David Bowie dying opened up the door to the current hellscape we’re in right now.
And Harambe. Can’t forget Harambe!
I heard it was the super collided,
Harambe, the cavs win, the cubs win, that election, Carrie fisher dying. All after they did it
All the unforced errors. So many.
PING! Ground out to start the bottom of the 8th. 1 out, no one on.
PING! Judge doubles. 1 out, 1 on.
PING! Chisholm walks. 1 out, 2 on.
PING! Stanton pops out. 2 on, 2 outs.
PING: inning over. Dodgers lead 7-6
The Yankees are trying to do the cycle for errors.
So… that’s bad for new york right?
Not great, Bob!
Challenge upheld! Another sac fly and the Dodgers take the lead
PING! Catcher’s interference on Ohtani. Yankees challenge fails. Bases loaded, one out, tied game.
PING! Sac fly by Betts gives the Doyers a 7-6 lead. Runners on 1st and 3rd, 2 outs, top of the 8th.
PING! Freeman strikes out. Middle of the 8th, Doyers up 7-6.
Ohtani to first on catcher interference. Bases loaded again
Call being challenged
I’m gonna laugh when it gets reversed, he goes back to the plate and crushes a home run.
PING: Game tied on sac fly
PING! Doyers are ahead. Freddie Fucking Freeman at the plate.
PING: Bases are loaded and Ohtani is up
Check that. He’s on deck.
PITCHING CHANGE!
I am watching Psych
Which episode?
Top of the 8th just started
The last one. Been on a long circuitous rewatch.
PING! Non-Mariners Legend Keke Hernandez singles to open the top of the 8th.
PING! No one’s legend Tommy Edman gets a seeing eye single. 2 on, 0 outs.
PING! 4 pitch walk to load the bases. 0 outs.
PING! Pitching change to Weaver.
PING! Lux hits a sac fly to tie the game. 1st and 3rd, 1 out.
I hate Python. Also matricies. Especially matricies in Python.
I don’t know, Holy Grail is pretty funny.
Don’t fuck this up LA
PING: Dodgers loaded the bases but the Yankees got out of the inning.
PING! I also just scratched my balls during the commericial break.
But didya smell your fingers?
Can one scratch their balls without doing so?
They’re heavenly! I did a good job of washing today.
PING: I just scratched my balls
I would like to unsubscribe from your newsletter
I’m not watching this game so someone ping me when something important happens
PING! Doyers are changing pitchers!
Yankees just took the lead.
Booo
PING! End of 6th! Yanks score one are up 6-5!
PING! Freddie does it again! He walked and the Yanks are going to the bullpen.
PING! 4 pitch walk to Mariners legend Teoscar Hernandez. 2 on, 2 outs, top of the 7th.
PING! Strikeout! Middle 7th, Yanks still up 6-5. God Bless America blares throughout the Bronx.
PING! Strike out Yankees. 1 down bottom of the 7th.
PING! Strike out Yankees. 2 down bottom of the 7th.
PING! Routine ground out to 3rd. End of the 7th. Yankees up 6-5.
“Thus far, not a soul has come to Apartment Weaselo”
I’m aware you don’t want to come all the way to eastern Queens. I barely want to, that’s why I spend more and more time at Senorita Weaselo’s where it only takes me one hour to get to work instead of 1:45.
Eastern Queens? You might live near some friends of mine
I thought that Eastern Queens was a gay bar in Chinatown
lol Yanks.
Okay, maybe God is still alive?
You of all folks should know better than to get your hopes up.
Touché.
Mrs Fozz: “Our 10 year old son is having 5 of his friends spend the night tomorrow night, after they go trick or treating.”
Me: “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, WOMAN?”
Mrs. Fozz: “Please stop cursing.”
Me: “DID YOU NOT HEAR ME WHEN I SAID ‘WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK'”?
Ooof. Six 10 year olds fulla sugar after Halloween?
Hell with it. Buy a few cases of TP, eggs & soap. Take the young shavers a-vandalizing. Teach ’em a thing or two.
Yeah, teach ‘em the cops stop when they get the slowest ones in the group.
It also teaches everyone which are the rats and which are cool.
Make sure young Fozz invites the fat kid!
Teach ’em how to masturbate.
.
I see by the Game 5 Score, the Universe knows Trump is going to win and is perverting into a dystopian nightmarish reality.
(grabs guns and Bibles)
Good luck, everyone! I’ll see you in Valhalla!
Are you expecting trick or treaters on October 30th? Did I miss something? Did Obama win the war on Christmas so badly that Halloween was collateral damage?
Beggars Night. It’s a flyover state thing.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beggars_Night
I’m in a Flyover State and I have never heard of this. I’m pretty certain asking for candy outside of trick-or-treat hours would get the hose unleashed on you.
You’re in the wrong parts of that flyover state.
Most of central OH has it on the 31st, but a few towns have it tonight.
Also related: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mischief_Night
“West Kootenay (British Columbia), Vancouver Island, Thunder Bay (Ontario), and Winnipeg also called it “Gate Night”; in English-speaking Quebec it is known as “Mat Night” where a tradition of stealing front door mats developed while “Devil’s Night” is a common name in many places throughout Canada.
In rural Niagara Falls, Ontario, during the 1950s and 1960s, “Cabbage Night” (French: Nuit de Chou) referred to the custom of raiding local gardens for leftover rotting cabbages and hurling them about to cause mischief in the neighbourhood. The night is still celebrated in Ontario.”
Cabbages, Jesus. In western Pennsyltucky, we throw corn. The hard kind, like they feed to cows. Off the cob, unless you are an old asshole, then all bets are off. Remembering you, Felix Kremp, ya bastard!
Is this because it’s so boring there they need to make up extra holidays? Also, why are they so bad at making up extra holidays?
I meant tomorrow, but it remains.
“You can’t spell “HOPE” without Neh Yope!.
You can’t spell HR without FlaHeRty.
You also can’t spell FLY without FLahertY.
You also can’t spell FLAT without FLAherTy.
You also can’t spell TRY without FlaheRTY.
Most importantly, you can’t spell L without FLaherty.
Also, the way Yankee fans are praising those two assholes who grabbed Betts does make me think that perhaps this franchise has won enough for a year.
I’m old enough to remember the entire city (including Letterman appearance) feting that Jeffrey Maier asshole kid.
It’s a shame that Mookie is too nice. Would have loved to see those assholes get a fist to the face.
I’m not sure how much tonight matters for the Yankees: Rodon goes tomorrow if they win tonight.
/watching some dumb Yankee bitch pointing to heaven after hitting a single in the highlights
Me: “Really?”
If you don’t acknowledge God on the singles he’s not going to reach down from Heaven and give you a double.
What the hell do you do when Salt and Vinegar FLAVORED BLASTED Goldfish are staring you right in the face? They’ve escaped longline fishing practices and now you’re expected to munch them? I’m conflicted.
I’m holding out for the All Dressed
Flavor Inflation is TOO DAMN HIGH those used to be the regular Goldfish!!