No EPL this morning, international break. Here is your lukewarm tofu-based menu for today:
Steerfuckers South (-13.5) at Pig Sooey (Noon, ABC)
I can’t figure the Hawgs out, but here’s hoping they make a better showing today than I expect.
Team Secular Big Love (+11.5) at Colorado (Noon, Fox)
Utes keep coming up short, and I keep thinking they’ll eventually break out of it. Good thing I haven’t been wagering.
Michigan State (+3) at Illinois (2:30, FS1)
When in doubt, I usually default to a mid-tier SEC game. Those are few and far between this week, so here’s the B1G non-union equivalent.
Boston College (+19.5) at SMU (3:30, ESPN)
Scraping the bottom of the barrel, but SMU hasn’t been “the hunted” in what, 40 years or so? Who fucking knows how they’ll react. I’d still snicker quite a bit if they blitz through the sad sack conference that had to be bribed to let them in.
LSU (-4) at Florida Men (3:30, ABC)
Bad game, sure. But LSU has very little to play for, will be emotionally low, and could fail in hilarious form. Some days, that’s all one has to crack a smile about. OK, most days.
Baylor (-2.5) at West By God Virginia (4:00, ESPN)
Big 12 = chaos, which sometimes = good teevee. Not always, but maybe so today.
Jake Paul is a ruptured colostomy bag, but this is still funny
https://www.wsj.com/sports/mike-tyson-jake-paul-netflix-boxing-04ef3dbd?st=EHGD5m&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
That’s a great article!
Penn State are really taking Purdue behind the locker room showers.
I thought that shit was out in the open!
That’s would be one highlight to a recruiting tour.
LSU Gators is hilarioUs
I don’t know who’s more irritating: Baylor as a whole, or what Neal Brown has done to what used to be a fantastic Mountaineer defense and turned them into a JV squad from the planet Neptune playing an entirely different sport.
That’s a ballburner of a game. Like Caitlyn Jenner in that there’s no D,
Hippo, I texted u a FF conundrum.
I left my phone in car (I had to go to Target earlier, needed a new litterbox). When my washer load finishes, I’ll get off me lazy arse and fetch it.
That’s Our Hippo!
Spam I will send you my q on slack.
Smooth move by Nebraska, late hitting a USC player out of bounds, in the middle of the USC bench surrounded by USC players.
Look, you don’t end up spending the best years of your life in fucking Nebraska without a predilection towards poor life decisions.
In a dive.
No member of this opening band looks older than 18.
But gotta admit they are pretty good.
I love how Italian dive bars are still stylish.
Also, Our Man In Italy is TALL!
Some of the nicer ladies have broken away from a birthday party to bang heads up front. Fun crowd tonight.
Love a good dive.
Brick’s Foto-Tip™
Crop to this and bring exposure down: spectators to silhouettes and band at +/-0EV.
16:9 crop is original but 7:5 is always classic. You can do all this on your phone.
Mention me briefly at the awards ceremony.
https://ibb.co/R9h1fXG
He is our resident photographer. The dude at the casino was not a fan though!
You are the man.
Second band is some old friends. They do a lot of Priest and Dio. Lead singer is an architect.
Little Pro crop help?
This exposure is much better. Keep the band exposed normal and let the foreground crowd drop to black silhouettes. The band is the subject.
Shoot in Landscape (phone sideways). Tap on the band on the screen to set focus and exposure on them; let foreground crowd go to black. You don’t want the band to go too bright and clip, which will lose the details. Hold your phone still through the shot.
You can crop and adjust your photos on your phone after you take them. Modern cell phone are amazing cameras that are getting close to DSLRs (not equal to them) but you can carry a phone in your pocket.
Here’s a crop in the Photos app on an iPhone:
https://ibb.co/HgyrVhY
If you have an iPhone here’s a good guide to the camera:
https://www.kenrockwell.com/apple/iphone-15-pro-max-users-guide.htm
That link was just to the iPhone 15 Pro (which I have). Here’s a link that has guides to the other models:
https://www.kenrockwell.com/apple/index.htm
Thanks Buddy.
Are you kidding me. I have a 5 year old Huawei that replaced the flip phone I had for about 10 years.
I do have to crop my photos in order to not exceed the sites upload limit. So credit to me for knowing that.
But I appreciate the tips and will play with this some.
Heh, play with it some.
You can use the free Snapseed app from Google.
In the settings you can default to an 800 pixel JPG-80% that should be within the upload restrictions. Snapseed can also do all the same Apple Photos functions. To finish a photo you really only need to crop it and maybe tweak exposure by ⅓ to ½ a stop. All photos should be cropped, that’s part of the creative process.
Kick goes wide right. Boy, I haven’t seen a Brian Kelly team victimized by the wind like that since, um, since, you know, that thing, with the kid, and the lift…you know what? Never mind.
All right, the Dr. Mrs. and I are off to spend the evening with some rich people down in Orange County and discuss how to best profit from the conversion of the lower middle class into genuine serfdom. Have a pleasant evening, everyone, I’ll try to remember to write down some quotes to put into Xavier, Hendrick, and Winchester’s mouths.
Take notes. I would also like to exploit my Trump-voting neighbors.
I got sick of the government giving all the handouts to everyone else.
That’s why I worked myself to the Free Handouts bracket.
Travis Hunter is good at football.
“Wait till he gets to me.”
— DDDDUUUUUUVVVVVAAAAAAAALLLLLLL
As opposed to Travis Henry, who is good at family.
And not truck surfing.
Wasn’t that Chris Henry?
That’s correct, Travis Henry was known for a different kind of riding.
Bareback
Has anyone ever liked Baylor?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yHaFBto4O8
I can’t speak for prior to the turn of the millennium, but seems like their athletic department goes out of their way create a massive scandal once a decade.
Men’s golf will be found to be behind a massive crypto currency fraud scheme in 2028.
Even the city fucking sucks. I was there back in 1995?
Nightmare Alley.
That explains why everyone there is insane, inane, or just a bunch of assholes.
A very special matinee version of RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!
As you wish
Got a new accessory!!! Super stoked.
16 hours of this goodness, plus an infuriating WVU game!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuYhoJoPZpI&list=PLFi9V6EFsFIkuSpLRIWCO1kp6EjBkqLjJ&index=11
This is more better.
Deion Jr. saw a Mock Draft showing the Cowboys picking him in the 1st and is trying to derp his way down the draft board.
Nevermind. It was Utah. I’m a dumbass.
.
Far more entertaining and realistic than last night, too.
If you are so inclined S.Africa and England is a fucking cracker of a match.
I was so inclined by my broadcast services were not cooperative.
Wifey is volunteering at the local community center for the Christmas Bazaar. She agreed to supply the salmon for sandwiches and brought some of the pink variety (14 cans!) but was told that only red salmon was acceptable. Round here, it’s $6 a can. Whatever.
Last night she went in to help with the setup and saw the old ladies making the sandwiches. They were mixing that salmon with generic mayo and putting it on Wonderbread. WTF?
I guess beggars can be choosers after all.
Red is healthier.
Is this, by chance, for possibly malnourished people?
It’s for fat 50+ rural housewives, so “yes”.
“You had me at mayonnaise.”
“It’s got red salmon, too. The healthiest variety of salmon available.”
“Scratch that, you’ve lost me again.”
You didn’t use canned salmon did you?
I’m most dreadfully embarrassed!
Is that a special derp or an E-LS?
(checks Google)
E-1
The 5 minutes that THEEEE were behind was kind of fun. Now back to your regularly scheduled Darkest Timeline, already in progress.
In the Darkest Timeline, Ryan Day is Ohio State’s coach, enough to give the fans hope and then break it.
if Samsquanch beats IU then loses to 5-6 Michigan, I am gonna be almost as pissed off as you, Magical Pony
The die is cast. The Prophecy is in motion.
I wonder if there are any players now who are not transfers. Sounds like most of them have come from one or more other schools. I’m concerned about the kind of education they are getting under such conditions.
Edumacation? What’s that?
NIL has turned the FBS into a true minor league with free agency. You want “student-athletes”, pick another sport or go to FCS.
But… dey ain’t getting no gooder learnin…
Farm clubs… Yep… Farm clubs
…or Plantations, if you will.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kKoqE-sAb8&pp=ygUScmljayBtb3J0eSBzbGF2ZXJ5
It’s an odd little market to be sure. But, as a matter of principle, I will live through all this reform without gripe because the need to eliminate the previous system had been urgent and important for 30 years.
From my time partying (serioUsly) in Utah I became partial to Utes fans. Their hatred for BYU and love for booze was excellent.
I’m not convinced about the Fightin’ Deions.
Go Utes!
The ladies I ran into there seamed like they really enjoyed a good party.
I find the Ute fans to be better. BYU is a weird sect of a weirdness.
I also did a stint working for a Ute Company. It was a WILD organization to be a part of. They liked me cuz I knew I was just hired whitey to do the work all along.
In conclusion, have the work ethic of your favorite vendor.
Anyone else watch the Tyson-Paul “fight” last night?
It was on at a poker tournament I played in, and good god was that embarrassing for everyone involved. I sure hope that the $20 million Tyson reportedly got was worth letting Paul win, which now that I think about it, it probably was.
I was hoping Tyson’s instincts would take over, and he’d kill that rando incel and rape his corpse. As usual, I was all disappoint.
(at least I didn’t watch it, though it sums up the stupidity of our culture perfectly)
We tried to watch it, but Netflix froze up on us right when the Tyson fight started. Minorly frustrating.
[has also been frustrated by a minor] – Brad Childress
Yep. Watched the whole debacle.
It honestly felt like Paul was sticking his chin out begging for a Tyson knock out. Would have been a better story.
It felt rigged as fuck. But Tyson is an old man.
The Taylor Serrano fight was solid but the decision was bullshit.
Actually, I was pretty geeked leading in but a serious let down in delivery.
The real loser: Tua.
Seeing Iron Mike kill a guy (almost better if by accident) in front of tens of thousands on a live broadcast would have likely cured my personal bloodlust.
Now, he will need to die on the field before the fans look elsewhere for that dopamine rush.
Winter is coming soon to these parts and proper vehicle maintenance is crucial.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rryQfAnQs3M&ab_channel=AdiosPantalones
I miss her boobs. Hippo misses her shoulders.
Everybody hurts.
https://youtu.be/5rOiW_xY-kc?si=qG1Mpm7THh6jO2pI
How can you miss them? They’re right there! They have their own gravity!
They always pull me in!
I would so orbit those puppies
And gravitational pull
Seems like there are a lot more Jesus signs on Gameday today.
I HAVEN’T BORE WITNESS TO THIS MANY INVOCATIONS OF A DEITY SINCE BACK WHEN I SHARED A BEDROOM WALL WITH A SEXY DANISH COUPLE AND THEY WERE CELEBRATING THEIR ANNIVERSARY.
Please excuse the ALL CAPS; that started out as a Gruden joke.
Well, there was some grinding going on.
I agree the Hippo, I quit gambling and am very pleased with myself as I would have been destroyed this year.
Oh great, that means I have to start so the balance is maintained. smh…
The instant that Mahomes slid on the last drive of the Super Bowl instead of scoring a touchdown costing me the last leg of a 10-way parlay and $25,000 was the point where I swore off sports gambling.
May need to send out the Jalen Signal.
Especially since he doesn’t spend his nights keeping up with young receivers anymore.
Maybe if congress pays back the 2 trillion “borrowed” from SSi first by Nixon and then Reagan to give tax cuts to corpos and the rich. And they do not want to pay it back because taxes on the rich and corpos would have to go up.
Frankly, I wouldn’t mind give up 1/3 of my prospective SS payments to build our 16th nuclear-powered aircraft carrier.
Figures that I’m up early to take the car in to get the winter tyres on and that’s the lesser footy bye week
Did you see Mike Tyson fight that other guy? Pretty good, huh?
If you didn’t see it, here’s why Netflix . . . More
This is ALMOST as good as posting a photo of yourself of Linked-In holding a sheet of paper over which you’ve typed, “ALL members of the team should reap the rewards!”
Apparently we did not get “TYSON, BOMAYE” which is disappointing, but why should we get anything nice in the world today?
Texas produces shit and refines oil.
https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/42396842/qb-thomas-castellanos-return-boston-college-football\
OWAH QUITTAHS HAHVE MOAH HAHHT THAHN YOUAHS NO ONE DENIES THIS
This is what I always think of when a benched player immediately announces a transfer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUk19cWarI&pp=ygUjc2ltcHNvbnMgaSdtIGdvaW5nIHRvIGNsb3duIGNvbGxlZ2U%3D
Aw jeez, now he won’t get that quality BC education that gave us Mark Chmura and Bill Romanowski.