16 Nov 2024 – JV NFL Thread (Part 1)

No EPL this morning, international break.  Here is your lukewarm tofu-based menu for today:

Steerfuckers South (-13.5) at Pig Sooey (Noon, ABC)

I can’t figure the Hawgs out, but here’s hoping they make a better showing today than I expect.

Team Secular Big Love (+11.5) at Colorado (Noon, Fox)

Utes keep coming up short, and I keep thinking they’ll eventually break out of it.  Good thing I haven’t been wagering.

Michigan State (+3) at Illinois (2:30, FS1)

When in doubt, I usually default to a mid-tier SEC game.  Those are few and far between this week, so here’s the B1G non-union equivalent.

Boston College (+19.5) at SMU (3:30, ESPN)

Scraping the bottom of the barrel, but SMU hasn’t been “the hunted” in what, 40 years or so?  Who fucking knows how they’ll react.  I’d still snicker quite a bit if they blitz through the sad sack conference that had to be bribed to let them in.

LSU (-4) at Florida Men (3:30, ABC)

Bad game, sure.  But LSU has very little to play for, will be emotionally low, and could fail in hilarious form.  Some days, that’s all one has to crack a smile about.  OK, most days.

Baylor (-2.5) at West By God Virginia (4:00, ESPN)

Big 12 = chaos, which sometimes = good teevee.  Not always, but maybe so today.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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litre_cola

From my time partying (serioUsly) in Utah I became partial to Utes fans. Their hatred for BYU and love for booze was excellent.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m not convinced about the Fightin’ Deions.

Go Utes!

Horatio Cornblower

Anyone else watch the Tyson-Paul “fight” last night?

It was on at a poker tournament I played in, and good god was that embarrassing for everyone involved. I sure hope that the $20 million Tyson reportedly got was worth letting Paul win, which now that I think about it, it probably was.

BugEyedBoo

We tried to watch it, but Netflix froze up on us right when the Tyson fight started. Minorly frustrating.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Minor frustrations are the *worst* kind of frustrations.” – Karl Malone

scotchnaut

Winter is coming soon to these parts and proper vehicle maintenance is crucial.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rryQfAnQs3M&ab_channel=AdiosPantalones

2Pack

I miss her boobs. Hippo misses her shoulders.
Everybody hurts.

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BugEyedBoo

How can you miss them? They’re right there! They have their own gravity!

ballsofsteelandfury

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scotchnaut

They always pull me in!

litre_cola

Seems like there are a lot more Jesus signs on Gameday today.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I HAVEN’T BORE WITNESS TO THIS MANY INVOCATIONS OF A DEITY SINCE BACK WHEN I SHARED A BEDROOM WALL WITH A SEXY DANISH COUPLE AND THEY WERE CELEBRATING THEIR ANNIVERSARY.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Please excuse the ALL CAPS; that started out as a Gruden joke.

scotchnaut

Well, there was some grinding going on.

litre_cola

I agree the Hippo, I quit gambling and am very pleased with myself as I would have been destroyed this year.

scotchnaut

Oh great, that means I have to start so the balance is maintained. smh…

Redshirt

The instant that Mahomes slid on the last drive of the Super Bowl instead of scoring a touchdown costing me the last leg of a 10-way parlay and $25,000 was the point where I swore off sports gambling.

blaxabbath

May need to send out the Jalen Signal.

Especially since he doesn’t spend his nights keeping up with young receivers anymore.

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ArmedandHammered

Maybe if congress pays back the 2 trillion “borrowed” from SSi first by Nixon and then Reagan to give tax cuts to corpos and the rich. And they do not want to pay it back because taxes on the rich and corpos would have to go up.

BugEyedBoo

Frankly, I wouldn’t mind give up 1/3 of my prospective SS payments to build our 16th nuclear-powered aircraft carrier.

Game Time Decision

Figures that I’m up early to take the car in to get the winter tyres on and that’s the lesser footy bye week

Brick Meathook

Did you see Mike Tyson fight that other guy? Pretty good, huh?

If you didn’t see it, here’s why Netflix . . . More

blaxabbath

This is ALMOST as good as posting a photo of yourself of Linked-In holding a sheet of paper over which you’ve typed, “ALL members of the team should reap the rewards!”

Senor Weaselo

Apparently we did not get “TYSON, BOMAYE” which is disappointing, but why should we get anything nice in the world today?

blaxabbath

Texas produces shit and refines oil.

WCS
Redshirt

This is what I always think of when a benched player immediately announces a transfer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUk19cWarI&pp=ygUjc2ltcHNvbnMgaSdtIGdvaW5nIHRvIGNsb3duIGNvbGxlZ2U%3D