Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

What have we got here? Ah, it’s the old ‘mirror game’ (8-2 vs 2-8) and it’s a divisional tilt so anything can happen. [snorts] C’mon, we know how this ends. At one point the Steelers were 3-2 and then a certain package of crushed monkey testicles from the Honduras ‘magically’ appeared and was ‘accidentally’ burned over a fire made of the doors of an abandoned insane asylum. Next thing you know the Steelers reel off five straight wins.

Minutaie:

-Piling On The Jets: Sauce Gardner threw his new coach under the bus, saying that tackling wasn’t an issue. Who badly missed a tackle last week? The same guy that hasn’t recorded an interception in 35 games. As a Jets starter, Rodgers winning percentage is lower than both Zach’s and Sam’s. Woody Johnson acknowledged that he considered benching Rodgers-if you can count on anything, it’s MAGA types throwing their kin under the bus.

-Useless Gabe Davis is done for the season after getting some meniscus surgery done. This does not affect the Jags outlook in any way whatsoever.

-NFL Security has sent out a ‘Burglary Alert” after the homes of Mahomes and Kelce were broken into. In related news, Nick Bosa’s velvet painting of Jesus kissing Trump’s feet is now under lock and key.

-The Seahawks facility is still without power due to yet another weather phenomenon being described in war terms. (Bomb Cyclone?) Not asked for comment by anyone, Pete Carroll opined, “This totally has the fingerprints of the ghost of Kenneth Lay all over it!”.

To The Game!

Steelers/Browns:

-Jameis Winston’s O/U for interceptions is .5. Put a mortgage on your house RIGHT NOW and get in on the over.

-Can Haz Blizzard?: Weather is calling for rain and gusty, busty winds (please feel free to post pics of busty weather patterns below) for this tilt. The O/U for the game is around 37. DRAIN YOUR SAVINGS ACCOUNT AND PUT IT ALL ON THE UNDER!

-Related To Above: The Steelers kicker Boswell was responsible for all of their points last week. It’s the second time this year that he’s accomplished that. It won’t be the last. Why? Because the Steelers are goddamn boring, that’s why.

-Winston has never played against the Steelers. I’ve the notion he’s going to be feeling crabby after the game and not in the usual way.

-I Laughed: Stefanski, who is feeling a bunch of pressure from the usual social media crowd, claims he’s not bothered. He cites the fact that he grew up listening to Philly sports radio as a reason that he’s inured against the relentless squawking.

Have at it.

 

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Unsurprised

Damn it. I have something for this. Something about Baby, It’s Cold Outside and the Browns’ rapists QBs and the snowstorm and … FUCK. What am I missing?

Sharkbait

“Say, what’s in this drink” takes on a whole new meaning with the Browns QB room…

Gatoraids

those arent marshmallows in that cocoa

Beerguyrob

I took my own advice & walked the dogs while listening to Steely Dan. That was very pleasant.

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlecPxHWkYY

Add the annual Tomlin Anti-Voodoo TNF disasterpiece to a rough-ish week.

comment image

Oh well.

WCS

https://www.wtae.com/article/pittsburgh-battalion-chief-death-john-walsh/62976182
This was last night,

right now, we’re working on a house explosion. No bullshit, this is happening like half a mile from where my ex-wife and Lil’ and Lil’er WCS live.

Bogdanski

Damn, I saw the 1st half. Just got home and it looks like the 2nd half was… different?

WCS

Tomlin went Full Tomlin this time.

Gatoraids

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Sharkbait

You never go full Tomlin

Redshirt

Snow game * (Factory + Steelers/Russell) = Bananacake Sundae.

TheRevanchist

AI isn’t nearly as entertaining as listening to Jamies talk. It’s almost like his brain is perfectly on the same exact level.

2Pack

On any given Thursday (night).
Mike… sometimes the voodoo simply fails you.

fleshwound_NPG

afc central/afc north head coach career arc, since 1981:

1. make it to super bowl, might even make it to two
2. you might actually win a title (unless you are the bengals)
3. team becomes an underachieving meme and you never win another title again
4. your replacement does the exact same thing

(oilers/titans could have had another chance at a super bowl if not for realignment)

Redshirt

5.You don’t do enough to succeed but just enough to not get fired.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’re watching the Lincoln Lawyer and it’s a perfectly cromulent show, but their sports scenes crack me up. They have him “surfing” in…not good conditions (ankle high waves on a 5’9″ or thereabouts board) and he’s hitting tennis balls served by a machine and by the end of the scene 90% of the balls are on his side of the court (which would mean he’s hit all of those into the net).

2Pack

Are we perhaps, looking for realisum in the wrong places?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is America; reality and television switched places eight years ago.

Redshirt

Oh, look, Pickens is in a fight.

Redshirt

Remind me again why Cleveland wants a dome?

Game Time Decision

To keep the fire and smell contained

ballsofsteelandfury

They should call me Nostraballsus

2Pack

The force is strong with this one…

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Gatoraids

CALL THE STEELERS THE INFORMER CUZ THEY ARE GOING TO BE BLAMING SNOW.

Beerguyrob

How do they not flag that for Roughing the Passer? Russ got walloped.

Beerguyrob

Helluva an acting job there.

Gumbygirl

Well, fart.

Downfield Matriculator

Wetter and sloppier — more like a shart.

Sharkbait

I chose to stay up late for Ice Giants Ice Stampede. Sounds like I’m missing an OK game?

Mr. Ayo

*SNOW game

Game Time Decision

Do you wanna build a snowman?

Sharkbait
Beerguyrob

Was really hoping for the conversion interception for 2-points, leaving Pittsburgh down by just a field goal.

Gatoraids

Incoming Chef Russ kitchen gas explosion

fleshwound_NPG

“Nobody’s left!”

there’s like a zillion inches of lake effect snow, they couldn’t leave anyways

Beerguyrob

They’re gonna die there, Al.

Gatoraids

only way to win in Cleveland, only way to win

Wakezilla

Pittsburgh should probably call timeout and let Cleveland score

Wakezilla

So they concede a TD and let lots of unnecessary time run down. Is this Eagles era Andy Reid calling plays for Pittsburgh?

fleshwound_NPG

no, they didnt waste the last timeout for no reason. they still have it somehow

Downfield Matriculator

They had 2, wasted one on the late subsitution

Downfield Matriculator

Baffling

Doktor Zymm

shit stupid chubbdown deaux

Gatoraids

No shrinkage by Chubb in this snow, thats good hustle

fleshwound_NPG

BLEERGH. HAIL.

Senor Weaselo

I spent the evening watching a diceball playoff match, and I am shocked that this game outscored them!

(The final was 23-12, which would be a record for most runs scored in a game but the record is a regular season record only.)

Mr. Ayo

Crab Legs is incredible content

Beerguyrob

Letting the kicker huff gas fumes from the heater before a game-winning kick seems a very Cleveland thing to do.

litre_cola

300+ comments on a Thursday night, we’re back baby!

Game Time Decision

You Fucker’s making me read to find the good comments

Mr. Ayo

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shhhhh!!!!! Are you trying to get the Department of Re-Education to shut us down?

litre_cola

Isn’t the wrasslin lady in charge of your guys edumacation now?

Gatoraids

Its why Gaetz stepped down from AG, he moved to Department of Education so he could spend more time with your kids

Game Time Decision

-Lea Michelle

jjfozz

I’d like to make an announcement.

I’m going to create a YouTube channel on how to apply makeup and be an influencer.

It’s a no brainer.

Downfield Matriculator

Will you be going with the Wicked color palate or that of Emily in Paris?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s Emily in Rome now!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not having a brain is a prerequisite

Beerguyrob

Shanked punt – OSSOBUCO!

jjfozz

Alot of the subreddits I go to display this message

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