Good morning, reprobates. Scotchy had some fresh hobos to skinfamily bidness to take care of, so y’all stuck with me. You get paroled for SNF, when Litre takes over. To the action!
Vikings (-3.5) at Bearistocrats (Fox)
Touch of Downs continues to show signs of hard regression to the paste-eater we all know and mostly tolerate. Will he go full-you-know-what against the surprisingly competent Chi**** pass defense? Will the home crew score enough points for it to matter?
Lions (-7.5) at Fat Humps (Fox)
I wanted to try and sell this as a potential banana skin, but couldn’t keep a straight face. Runaway NFC freight train continues unabated to the Lombardi.
P*ts (+7.5) at LOLfins (CBS)
Finally, a home favoUrite, and Tua seems to be getting a bit of his mojo back. Though let’s not make him think too hard about that stuff. Drake Maye has been doing his best “Bad Josh Allen” impression, which is still a whole lot better than the Massholes faithful have been used to seeing under centre. Sleeper good matchup.
Bucs (-6) at Vertically Enhanced Persons (CBS)
OK, fine. I can’t think of anything nice to stay here. Good news, Jerseyites! You are free of the Dimebag boogeyman. The bad news is…everything else. MRSA Men have a very soft defense to welcome Dr. Mantiss Toboggan back to the active roster.
Non-Gendered Cowpersons (+10.5) at Commies (Fox)
No seriously, this is a game that will actually happen. Just be thankful it wasn’t cemented into the SNF window or sommet. Cooper Rush is gonna have a bad time. Dok Zymm will have quite the opposite.
Chefs (-10.5) at Black Panthers (CBS)
Ah, the universe snaps back into balance, with a 10.5-point road dog to balance out the Commies rawdogging of the ‘Persons. Let’s just hope Wee Bryce doesn’t die, and that KHunt gets me lots of evil fantasy points. Spoiler – the first part is far likelier than the second. Pacheco Truthers have to wait another week to see if his leg falls plum off.
Tits (+7.5) at 500s (CBS)
Classic Surly Duff matchup here, and I have low scoring vibes. Sooner or later, Tennessee will successfully keep its opponent down in the muck for 60 minutes. Or dare we hope 70, and Most Glorious Draw?
Well, the Cowboys are doing Cowboys things and Yeah Right has Jayden Daniels and the Washington D going against me in the Lowratio League, so I think it’s time to order a bunch of beer from Treehouse, then take a ride.
BWAHAHAHA
Napoli won, remaines on top. Time to party with Marika, I’d let her stay on top too.
The word to the Bears fans is “LOL”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgII2oQIepo
“Essen dein Scheisse!”
Even if you don’t sprechen Sie Deutsch, you can figure that. out.
Ah, there is the Bears
The Waffles Benedict turned out great.
Outstanding.
I’m pretty fucking happy right now.
I was – looking down at my ritz crackers.
I love seeing a rusher just true through multiple defenders.
I would do that as a kid. I should’ve played in HS. Brian Urlacher and I could’ve destroyed each other.
At least I have my real hair.
/kicks rocks
Gonna go out on a limb and guess that ‘Going Dutch’ doesn’t go into a second season.
Dallas Cowboys offense, pictured:
Tommy Cutlets, disappointing everyone except his mother
Head Coach: “I think we overreacted. Let’s put Jones back in. HE DID WHAT?!”
hey hes quite appointing to keep the draft pick as low as possible
“Have you seen his mother? I’d crawl over broken glass for the privilege of disappointing her!” – Zach Wilson
I don’t know, that last batch of gravy was just a little burnt.
Tennessee over Houston by 10 points, as we all expected.
DAL-WAS has had every variety of field goal so far: made, blocked, doink, and shank.
I guess “fake” counts as a variety too; hopefully we’ll get one of those. And maybe a fumbled snap!
Fair Catch Kick or GTFO!
Missed dropkick, please
Needs an interception
“I don’t want the house to smell like bacon!”
“Okay.”
Jesus Christ
Jambon Crispy
Just saw an ad encouraging seniors to get vaccinated against COVID and the flu. I wonder what it felt like for the worker in Health and Human Services to put in the ad order with the network. My guess would be something along the lines of running along the beach and realizing you just stepped on a clutch of eggs of an endangered species of turtle.
RFK Jr. insists that clutch of eggs is actually vital to preserving one’s precious bodily fluids.
I just hope he immediately makes Ozempic OTC.
And given his proclivities, he very well could.
I should probably be watching the Bearistocrats on an illegal stream, but I’m taking legal Commies-Boys until we go out and experience meatspace for the afternoon.
I made rib roast last night so I get to experience meatspace right here at home!
I made Birria and it was superb the next day.
Why must you all torment me?
Stoned, on the giant bean bag, watching Red Zone, and I am so lazy, but comfortable and entertained!
Warm?
Life is good.
So this was an unexpected thing to see in the NYT
a subtle reminder we are all fucked.
To be fair, at least people are cleaning them. You know there are those who haven’t even thought of that.
Anything aluminum, I keep learning.
Just don’t chew on it
…
Dallas doinks a kick after getting one blocked earlier — outro music is “What’s Going On?” from Marvin Gaye.
/chef’s kiss, no notes
Now if they could just stop spiking Greg Olsen’s coffee with cocaine, this could be a tolerable watch.
DOINK!
This is neat.
https://old.reddit.com/r/Commanders/comments/1gyucvm/hey_everyone_just_finished_this_hand_drawn_frame/
AI
I know. I know.
Impressive!
Somebody needs to scare up an old X Files “I want to believe” shot that can be posted in response to all future AI attachments. Like we do with duplicates with the Blair Witch bit.
Ivan Pace just got snapped like a wishbone.
Aww. I just looked at the Thanksgiving slate, and it sucks worse than today.
Bears did a good!
There’s been more stripping this season than Portland on Christmas Eve
Blocked kicks are Shank’hlor’s Ultimate Form
I tried to create a separate deity called BLAPPPT with control over that sphere but it is currently languishing off in the wilderness.
one of the very best of the discworld novels
That and Night Watch are my co-favorites.
Ah, I see Carolina is going to play the part of Rebound Skank today.
Have you all considered not getting hungover?
No.
That seems excessive
Just don’t stop drinking
Did you have to shout?
OCTOBOX! TRANSFORM!
When I went to the store to buy orange juice I forgot to buy orange juice. So dryest possible mimosas or a Hopewell ride or die pale ale to start the day?
Mimosas
I have OJ, so I’m doing mimosas. You should do the pale ale.
Very lightly colored mimosas
Dear [god of hangovers] please provide me with succor before the vacuuming begins…
When my 23-year old child was here (week, mostly visiting friends), she drank the FUCK out of my Pedialyte supply. Moral of the story – it WORKS. Much better than Gatorade.
They gave me free Sunday ticket for this week! [sees the schedule] Fuck.
CBS is broadcasting Chiefs-Panthers on the entire west coast. Who on earth wants to watch that?
Chiefs fans and snuff film enthusiasts
COMMIEFORNIA consumer protection laws might just entitle you to a refund!
Someone should legit try that.
Live look at how the New York Jets are spending the bye week:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EBfxjSFAxQ
Mike Evans might have a day-QB’s that throw 20+ yards downfield vs the Giants have a 77% completion rate. Also, Deonte Banks, their #1 cb, is 2nd-worst in coverage. Great.
This has to be the shittiest slate of games in awhile.
Wait until the late afternoon window!
I may check in on red zone, but I believe my day would be better spent putting together my Lego Dune Ornithopter.
I understand almost none of that sentence, but can nae disagree.
Shoulda called em Livelloúlithopters, IMHO. That’s what they really have the wing motion of…
Annoying, since it’s the first time I’m able to watch the entire morning window in awhile. Although as long as the Cowpersons get appropriatly humiliated I don’t mind
Awwww.
Ipswich thinks they’re people!
They is! They is!
They have been all over them.
I’d prefer it if they were sandwiches.
Clearly it was the coaching that was the problem at ManUre.
That is a shitty buffet this morning.
– Warren’s live-in nurse after a particularly messy start to the day
I’ve got access to four games but not the Bucs/Giants?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4vIBijzg4w&ab_channel=CosmicJerk
I suck and I’m also leaving it as is.
– scotchnaut’s application to work as a proofreader at Simon and Schuster
Many, many thanks to Hippo and Litre for filling in on short notice.
They may have been motivated by implied threats if they didn’t help….
it’s all about The Implication, dawg
Hope everything works out manG
Sucks when you find out you’re out of lime at the last minute.
If I played for Southhampton I simply would not use my hands to knock down a ball whilst in the penalty box.
Looks like Past-Litre dodged a few bullets…
https://twitter.com/BBCWorld/status/1860707279743442982
That’s right down the street from the internet café where an old friend of ours hangs out.
all-time best Kharacter, in me book
Past litre definitely would have imbibe shady alcohol while in Laos.
As long as it’s nawt that motorbike fuel they sell in plastic bottles by the roadside
With apologies to the Right Reverend, this slayed me:
Whenever I hear that name, I think of Vampire themed, buttstuff porn.
Ciao Hippo. Napoli plays Roma here in a bit. They need to win if they want to maintain the slim one point lead they have atop this years crowded table.
/ his weekly excuse to post a Marika pic
Another impressive rack. From now on I’m going to call you “General.”
My modest bosom:
Different gig but no less difficult. And noble. Thanks Buddy.
I recognize the Dolphins, what is the lower badge an advanced rating?
Landscape photography
No one denies this.
SSBN Patrol Pin (6 patrols)
Most of the Navy guy’s I worked with were SEALs or sported the Surface Warfare badge. Never got to work with many silent service Submariners.
Her rack is positively Zhukovian!
/Laughs in North Korean
Marshal Zhuk’s got nuthin on these guys.
First Sergeant please Sir. I worked for a living.
Don’t call me sir. Or Shirley.
For your Thanksgiving planning
It’s true, that happened to me.
OK covers turkey… but what about
buffalo?
Still sucks to live there
Most of Yellowstone Park is in Wyoming. Since Wyoming doesn’t exist, then Yellowstone Park cannot exist. Ergo, these rules are moot.
I’m barred from a lot of imaginary places
Yellowstone Hot Pot is a band name waiting to happen.
2024 College Football Bowl Predictions – NCAA Bowl Game Projections – CBSSports.com
Proposal that Extra Bowl is Mandatory under threat of DFO Account Deactivation.
I’m up early on the West Coast.
I don’t know why. I’m going back to sleep.
Thank you for listening. God Bless.
Zzzzzzzzzzzz………..
If I make it outdoors today, I may just put a stoooopid bet on TEN. In the meantime, Imma rewatch The Master. PRA makes the USA A O K.
p T a. I swear the iphone keaboard is smaller than Androids 🤬
Love that movie. Completely misunderstood.
Plus it’s fucking gorgeous.
Probably is. Especially if you have a normal iPhone and not a Plus, Max, whatever.
I’m up early and in Chicago. Contemplating trying to go to the game, but also contemplating wrapping myself in fuzzy blankets and drinking mimosas while watching Red Zone. Oh, or I could find a cowperson’s bar and go point and laugh! Although at this point in the season they’ve had the cowfolk still showing up at a team bar are probably worthy of respect so I would do so in a friendly way.
Should a bowl-ineligible Alabama team be seeded 7th in the CFB Playoff??!!
seems awful goddurned low PAAAAWWWWLLLLLLL wut say yew???
Obviously a so-called National Champion would be illegitimate until they played Alabama in Tuscaloosa.
It doesn’t matter. Oregon is going to be goatfucked no matter what.