Your Monday Night Football Open Thread

Helluiva day and I forgot.

 

Type away.

 

Editor’s Note: Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. – rtd

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Col. Duke LaCross

Quentin Johnston has frying pan hands.

Doktor Zymm

Well fuck. I think I need advice but not even sure what or how to ask. I’m just gonna have a bourbon and watch the rest of this game

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No, you can’t wear your bathrobe to work every day.

Doktor Zymm

Bullshit, can and have and will

WCS

She is a Doktorb, folks.

Horatio Cornblower

I work from home and I absolutely do.

Doktor Zymm

BATHROBES4EVAH

Doktor Zymm

That’ll be my prison tattoo

Sharkbait

Whiskey is always a good start

Col. Duke LaCross

There’s no such thing as “too crunk.”

ThePirateSloth

No, a wooodchuck WOULD chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck COULD chuck wood.

Horatio Cornblower

Touchdown Seahawks!

Wakezilla

Derrick Henry is back for a back? Odd that Joe Buck is just mentioning that now in the 4th

2Pack

Enough of this professional football nonsense. Today is a spacial day, as is the ways of my people. Live action, boots on the ground flag football at its finest. The annual holiday Turkey Bowl pitting the Brigades officers against the NCOs. That fucker is always entertaining. Plus it might rain today… let’s pray for a muddy field folks.

LemonJello

CASEVAC is standing by for Dustoff.

2Pack

They always lay some poor mofo out.

Gumbygirl

I lost Gumby’s wedding ring in a muddy field while he was playing a game of flag football in Scotland.

2Pack

Present company not included, but of note, liquored up wives and girlfriends on the sidelines adds wonderfully to the atmosphere.

SonOfSpam

Danny Dimes has reportedly “eliminated” the Raiders from consideration, signing-wise.

Goddamn, Rikki, that’s really humiliating.

Dunstan

The Raiders are hoping to get Tommy Cutlets in the offseason, he seems a better fit.

Horatio Cornblower

Danny apparently would prefer to play for a play-off contender, (is a thing I legitimately saw on the teevee device earlier today); the problem with that being, of course, that anyone in play-off contention is probably not looking to add a walking turnover to the roster.

WCS

Maybe if Geno or Tua get hurt.

LemonJello

“Just how big is this ‘walking turnover’ you speak of, and what type of filling?”

-Andy Reid, distracted by the sign on top of Randy’s Donuts

SonOfSpam

“Walking turnover???”

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Gatoraids

Main target should be the Falcons to fleece them like Kirk Cousins did

Gatoraids

Danny agent

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Beerguyrob

It’s the third quarter and I can’t believe this is the first time they brought up the Harbaugh’s are brothers.

SonOfSpam

Wait…they ARE?

LemonJello

Which one played basketball in college?

Horatio Cornblower

Next you’ll tell me their Dad coached football, too.

Pfft!

Beerguyrob

Is the sound cutting out, or are players saying some naughty words?

WCS

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ThePirateSloth

Fuck it! I’m throwin it deep!

WCS

Sometimes that dragon’s needs unleashed.

Unsurprised

.

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Gatoraids

The Spirit of Rivers Floats On

Beerguyrob

Each of these guys will need to have about eight more kids for that to be true.

Fronkenshteen

Jesus, when Harbaugh looks at a map with those ridiculous fucking glasses, he probably sees people waving at him.

Beerguyrob

Just as long as they cover the vig.

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WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

Have the Rolling Stones killed.

blaxabbath

I added reeses cups to my oreo blizzard tonight.

LemonJello

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Gatoraids

Shank’lor fears the Dicker

Wakezilla

Is Troy having a clear thought day, or has Collinsworth gotten so bad that Troy sounds good in comparison?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You’re not watching the Manningcast? Bill Belichick is a genuinely great guest.

Last edited 53 minutes ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Gatoraids

Arrgh see you in rot in Cris Collinsworth’s locker before I cast a game or date a woman in their 2nd half

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Wakezilla

Ok, so what’s that all about? Is this on YouTube or something?

I legitimately don’t know

litre_cola

We would have to subscribe to TSN + to get it or as our friend the Pirate Sloth says fire up the VPN and arrrrghhhh

Gatoraids

Its a simulcast for moremost MNF on ESPN2 with PeyPey, Lil Eli and Bill in first half and “special” guests in 2nd half.

blaxabbath

Herbert sure can SLING IT.

Gatoraids

Bateman killing it

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
LemonJello

To fully understand Twisters, do I need to watch Twister first?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes. Twice, actually.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And then watch Sister, Sister

Wakezilla

Then go watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

LemonJello

I’ll wait for Balls’ suggestions for the porn parodies of all these titles.

Unsurprised

Fister, Fister

Horatio Cornblower

Chtitty Chitty Gang Bang just writes itself!

Gumbygirl

If you don’t stop that, you’ll get a blister

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Cecil Rhodes

Marc Trestman is not just a senior offensive assistant. He also provides input on what glasses coaches should wear on game day.

litre_cola

So fucking creepy.

Unsurprised

But what does he coach?

Horatio Cornblower

Little kids, on how to keep this just between us…

Wakezilla

Marc Trestman is still employed!?! Hide your kids, LA

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Are we going to get sued by the onion/Infowars now?

WCS

It’s not our fault Tomlin Voodoo is real, and whatever Lowratio has done is past the statute of limitations…

Last edited 1 hour ago by WCS
Redshirt

Plus I left no no witnesses.

WCS

Scotchy didn’t see nuthin….

Wakezilla

I spent most of this summer hoping Miami wouldn’t sign King Henry because he was on the wrong side of 30. I think I may have been wrong on that one

ballsofsteelandfury

Just a little

King Hippo

I still don’t think he fits Tua/McDaniel – that offense needs backs with “wiggle” and pass-catching ability.

litre_cola
Gatoraids

ghost of Al Davis possessing Miami with a shift to RBs instead of WRs

Wakezilla

He doesn’t fit, but signing King Henry to force Miami to go full penetration up the middle would have been hot

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I would prefer to listen to the screams of my family trapped inside a burning house than to listen to a Cris Collinsworth football broadcast.

But something I’d prefer to listen to even more would be the screams of Cris Collinsworth trapped inside a burning house.

WCS

“….sorry, sir… uh, phone’s…. -out… ple….ack…”

— other WCS

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Who let the air out of all of the tires on our trucks?” – a confused fireman, that same evening

Gumbygirl

We’d all be outside yelling “shut up, Cris”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[furiously hammers mute button on remote control I had in my pocket for some reason]

LemonJello

“Shoot at the fire! It’s our only chance of putting it out!”

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Unsurprised

That MNF ad just made me an incel.

Unsurprised

Bill originally had a twin, but he killed and consumed it in the womb.

WCS

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Gatoraids

shudder what would be the Belichick Dark Half

Unsurprised

Well, he would have been old enough to lead men during all the post-Tito Yugoslav wars, so I can imagine.

Don T

“Well he was technically a blastocyst. And delicious. But not really my brother. So…”

BugEyedBoo
litre_cola

Jim’s spectacles make him look like was on the short bus as a child.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[watches Google’s Gemini ad]

Pfft. Whatever. I’ve had schizophrenia since before it was cool.

King Hippo

Too Many Harbs

Gumbygirl

It’s a Harbinger.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook
Col. Duke LaCross

Is there a red string?

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litre_cola

I am no mathlete but that doesn’t look like 500 words.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fixed it.

litre_cola

But what were the passersbys amazed about?

Gumbygirl

(Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood)⁵⁰

Gumbygirl

Also not a mathlete!

Redshirt

(looks up tonight’s MNF teams)

I second forgetting Monday Night Football exists this week and move on to Week 13.

Mr. Ayo

You had one job, Scotchy!

OK, maybe two. Wait, no, three. Still, no excuses.

Gumbygirl

Hope everything’s ok Scotchy!

LemonJello

His monthly quicklime delivery was delayed?

Unsurprised

Try the Stalin method. Kill everyone and start over.