Sexy Friday – 20241213

TGIF! Is Friday the 13th no longer a thing? Or am I just out of touch? Maybe I’m just lucky and it doesn’t apply to me.

Survival – Personal Edition

Let’s discuss wine. Ok, wine bottles. Ok, more specifically, wine bottle corks. They’re great! Until you’re trying to open a bottle and it breaks. Disaster! Not really, just use these tips to extract that life saving and affirming juice.

  • If the cork is otherwise fine and only broke because of your ham-fisted us of a corkscrew, consider it a whole cork, and try again. Except this time, you’ll need to slow everything down. Screw in the corkscrew slowly to avoid further damage. Slowly and steadily pull the cork out. Jerking the on the cork will only increase the likelihood of cork breakage.
  • If the cork is pushed too far into the bottle, finish the job and push it all the way into the bottle. Then jump below to the straining tips.
  • If the cork itself is in bad shape or it’s stuck to the side of the bottle it may not be possible to extract it. In this case, use the cork as a drill to make a whole through the cork. To do this, use the corkscrew as normal but wiggle side to side to make an actual hole. Continue until the whole is large enough to pour the wine through.
  • Now, we need to strain the wine. Unless you like chewing on chucks of cork as part of your tasting experience. You’ll need cheesecloth (clean, unwaxed, unbleached), a rubber band, and a decanter. A coffee filter (unbleached) can also be substituted. Place the cheesecloth or filter over the mouth of the decanter and secure it tightly with the rubber band.
  • Pour the wine from the bottle through the filter into the decanter. When done, remove the cheesecloth and cork bits from the decanter.

Now let that freed wine breath if needed, or serve up. Either way that dastardly cork didn’t stop you from your wine. Enjoy!

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Mr. Ayo
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WCS

Took a call for a house fire three blocks away from where ex-wife and I lived for four years. In fact, we were living there when she tossed my drunk ass out.
Can’t blame her for that; can blame her for never reaching out to determine why I was depressed, and thus drinking as such. That part is irrelevant to this topic.

This here is quite a fire, it would seem. Just became a two-alarmer. That’s pretty rare for a single-family house in the burbs.

Brick Meathook

A lot of these gals are as proud of their asses as some house cats that I’ve known.

Show is your pink scrunchies!

Gumbygirl

Pink?✔️

Scrunchie?✔️

Gumbygirl

.

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2Pack

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WCS

Don’t give away my plans for 2025!

WCS

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WCS

Milaya is on the @midnite 2.0 right now

yeah right

Solid week but a long work week.

My two new hires are crushing it.

Still early to say the best damn crew that I’ve assembled but the signs are pointing the right way.

I’ve also got the 23rd off so the granddaughters can take me to Knotts.

Haven’t been in years.

Sounds amazing.

Happy Friday peoples!

2Pack

Be well Buddy

yeah right

You as well.

One day, in Italy?

Don’t punch that guy!

It’s me and I want to shake your hand or give you a hug because it would be an honor to meet you and I owe you and your family dinner at least!

This guy is traveling now.

2Pack

Some day some place. I look forward to it.

blaxabbath

Be sure to get some high prices snacks just to not eat them. Give the granddaughters the real Theme Park Hosting Experience.

Doktor Zymm

Drunk enough to remember leaving my shoes in the bathromm, old enough not to

yeah right

Where are your shoes, Dude?

WCS

This is all getting dangerously close to donning pants… I can’t advise that at this time.

BugEyedBoo

LDB – out.

yeah right

Damn. You’ve had a hard ass week.

Hope you’re feeling better.

BugEyedBoo

Hanging in there. Not 100% but better. Thanks for asking!

yeah right

You’ve got a whole group wishing you well while also wincing at the same time.

Happy holidays!

Gumbygirl

Did you get the catheter out?

Bogdanski

Good god i am so oblivious. I’m out of the ldbc, and have been every year since forever because I’ve finally realized the damn thing is on the peanuts christmas soundtrack. Never listened closely enough outside of the main movie songs. Cant believe I missed it, considering i have a whole bunch of albums where Guaraldi is leading or a backup that ive spent a ton of time with. I continue to disappoint myself

2Pack

Fore warned is fore armed. Better luck next year.

litre_cola

Took an edible after dinner. Listened to tunes with the missus
Positive evening.

yeah right

Think I’ll join you.

A bit late but the thought still remains.

Cheers my friend!

Brick Meathook

On the set of The Shining (1980) director Stanley Kubrick asked star Jack Nicholson to pose for a photo. Nicholson obliged, not knowing that Kubrick was actually taking a self-portrait with his daughter Vivian.

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blaxabbath

I always assume people taking selfless are actually just taking photos of me.

WCS

Just because you’re crazy and paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re NOT following you.

Gumbygirl

A few weeks before he died, Gumby got a summons for jury duty for the first week of January. Guess who got a summons today for the first week of January?

Gumbygirl

You guys are not good guessers!

litre_cola

Robert Smith.

blaxabbath

Frank Stallone

Gumbygirl

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Doktor Zymm

Go and pretend you are Robert Smith!

WCS

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Gumbygirl

My hair is starting to look like his. Not 80’s Robert, today Robert.

Gatoraids
Brick Meathook

The Cure is never not funny:

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Unsurprised

Or so the Germans would have us believe.

Bogdanski

Ian Astbury?

Gumbygirl

Old Robert

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WCS

Oh, so Robert Smith is a few decades away from becoming Beetlejuice.

Brick Meathook

Technicolor 3-strip camera, ca 1939. To this day still the finest color motion picture system ever developed.

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Doktor Zymm

Beauty!

2Pack

Crew served cameras. Back when men were men damn it.

2Pack

Thanks Mr Ayo. Holiday quality work here tonight. I have eyes for lady number 3… but you probably figured that.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Love Dee!

Doktor Zymm

Ella Fitzgerald, Beach Boys. I love this bar. And I feel in no LDS danger

Doktor Zymm

Ella Christmas Island, CANOE GIFTS

Doktor Zymm

Now Johnny B Goode

WCS
2Pack

Well get yer lampshade on and dance gurl!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean you really shouldn’t feel Latter Day Saints danger in *any* bar.

WCS

That’s where my brain went, too.

Doktor Zymm

It’s Big Bad Voodoo Daddy!
Saw a free show they played in Ballsitchmore at Pier something.
Horrible opening band and a car in the parking lot nearby caught fire and was a welcome distraction

Doktor Zymm

I think it’s why the show is called that

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Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

I see you are also the correct amount of high. Congrats!

Doktor Zymm

Enjoying some Friday night bar reading at my corner bar in Chicago. It’s almost freezing out, positively balmy, I have an Old Fashioned and a booky book, the Bulls are leading, and I can effectively ignore all that isn’t right with the world. Cheers!

Game Time Decision

What book?

Doktor Zymm

Finishing up The Devil’s Chessboard. Great book but I haven’t had enough reading time over the past month so been slower than usual

yeah right

I just started The Executioners Song and it clocks in at 1000 or so pages and I can already tell I’m gonna blaze through it.

Doktor Zymm

If that’s the series I think it is then well worth the blaze

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Was that year racist enough for them?

WCS

Slavery still had another four decades to go, so yeah, most likely.

Doktor Zymm

McConnell had polio as a kid. That’s why he limps.

WCS

I thought he limped due to lack of spine.

Doktor Zymm

I disagree with him on most things, but he was solid on Covid

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t understand why you guys are so worried about these idiots making vaccines optional.

It’s speeding up the thinning of the herd!

WCS

While true, these dickless pieces of excrement are setting up my kids’ lives for misery.

Doktor Zymm

A) it’s kids that’ll mostly die
B) optional means barriers to access and therefore more difficult for everyone to get vaxxed

Doktor Zymm

RFK is so much worse than he’s portrayed. I feel bad for him because of all his relatives being assassinated when he was a kid, but dear god this man should have no power and he should probably crochet instead of knit because of the access to sharp objects

WCS

I love you, balls. You’re a dear amigo, but I’m genuinely pissed off about this.

ballsofsteelandfury

No one will let him do that. Luigi’s doppelgangers will ensure that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“They won’t actually repeal Roe v. Wade…”

ballsofsteelandfury

I never said that

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t speak to that, but plenty of people did, under the assumption that it would be “electoral suicide”.

Doktor Zymm

It’s highly unlikely he can actually revoke approval, but hey, it’s the thought that counts. He’s down with killing kids and he’ll manage it

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, killing kids? That’s entirely unnecessary. You just make it very clear that if they tell anyone, no one will believe them. They’ll say they made the whole thing up.” – Matt Gaetz

Doktor Zymm

‘doomed kids are the hottest kids’
-also Matt Gaetz

King Hippo

I am exactly the optimal level of high right now. If I could just be this way predictably, then I wouldn’t really hate life so much.

Doktor Zymm

The good news is that she will make a fuck ton of money in the eventual lawsuit. This is 100% protected speech.
US woman arrested for allegedly threatening health firm: ‘Delay, deny, depose’ https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/dec/13/florida-woman-health-insurance-threat?CMP=share_btn_url

Redshirt

Fact.

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Redshirt

Though saying “You people are next!” may be a bit too much.

Doktor Zymm

On a customer service line? Like they don’t hear worse a dozen times a day

Redshirt

But rich people are scared now. It’s different.

Doktor Zymm

Me to rich people: suck it up buttercup

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That image was drawn by Jesse Duquette, who was a high school classmate of mine!

Doktor Zymm

I got an electric cork remover and it is a game changer. Electricity is great!

Game Time Decision

Boxed wine does not have a cork
-DFO sommelier degens

Doktor Zymm

And fizzy wine doesn’t require an opener either, although you can’t go wrong with a saber or machete

Senor Weaselo

New test: Ranking blades to see which is best at opening sparkling bottles!

yeah right

Battery operated but still great over here.

ballsofsteelandfury

Corded is way better than battery-powered!

Wait, we’re talking about wine bottle openers? Carry on.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Counterpoint: you can’t electrocute yourself with a battery-operated device.

ballsofsteelandfury

Not true. You can. You just probably won’t kill yourself. Depending on the battery, of course.

WCS

#4 should really have a jacket.

Game Time Decision

Meh, looks like a nice day
-Canadian DFO folks

Redshirt

Sexy Friday Miscommunication?

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ballsofsteelandfury

#2 for me this week although I love #8’s dress!