/takes hand-off from Hippo, wipes pill dust from the ball
Hey, welcome back! It really is a dreary day here as well. With the temps so mild our back roads in the boonies are an intermittent series of skating rinks. But I did my wee errands and now it’s time to hunker down and watch so much ball my eyes bleed.
To The Games!
Miami (Ohio)/Colorado State:
Ah, it’s that other school out west vs the team that has to differentiate itself from the more prominent football program. That Miami always confused the hell out of me when I watched the Central Michigan basketball Chippewas on a PBS channel back in high school. Neither of these teams are ranked and Snoop Dogg is the host.
East Carolina/N.C. State:
The O/U on this tilt is a beastly 59.5! I’m guessing that these defenses can’t defense. That or they have high-powered offenses. I’ll choose the flaw over the more optimistic opinion.
BYU/Colorado:
Ladies and gentlemen, your new starting QB for the NY Giants Shedeur “Two Sheds” Sanders! He’ll provide a wonderful transition from Dimes in that he’s been sacked up the ying-yang just like Jones was in college and it’ll continue into the pros.
Louisiana Tech/Army:
One of the other armed services gets the spotlight. (such as it is when the pros are playing at the same time)
Broncos/Bengals:
Is Cincy’s D going to show up? Why would they this late in the season? Rookie Nix hasn’t thrown an INT in six of his last 9 games and no one fears that secondary. His counterpart would be in the MVP chatter if only his team had a better record. This has the feel of a high-flying game.
Cards/Rams:
Who’da thunk that Arizonny would fade down the stretch except for everyone?
Enjoy the offerings.
What the fuck is a “Go Bowling Military Bowl?”
Q: Why did you join the military?
A: For the bowling and the waterskiing, sir.
“Sir, because I wanted to sit in a chair and stare at a computer monitor 14 hours a day, sir!”
Oh, that was me…
I TOLD YINZ I NEVER DID ANYTHING INTERESTING
“I want to spend 300+ days underwater in a 110°F engineroom! Oh boy!”
– Me after four separate layers of volunteering . . .
You have my brother in law intrigued.
Welp…
Saved by a Wolven Sort!
What is a catch???
Is there any Bowl game that is more pure unadulterated fun than the Pop Tarts bowl? It’s like they hired a dozen dancers and were like “make Left Shark’s performance look subtle and understated.”
It’s Rocking!
Loooove sammich sacks
I want to recommend Trader Joe’s Cashel Bleu Cheese Irish potato chips
I’m in.
Trader Joe’s can piss you off though.
As soon as you find a product that you love they discontinue it.
RIP Wasabi cashews.
I hate this defense. Have I said that recently?
Mrs Cola “Where the hell was everybody???”
Nixxxx with the Big TD Bomb to Mims! 💣
Hahahaha!
Horses take the lead back! 🐴
That was ROCKINGGGG!!!!
What defense?
It’s amazing how Detroit has managed to be way more effective with like 2 guys than Cincy has with the full 11
This game sure ’nuff escalated quickly
The Bungles!
tip of the cap, just good FITBAW there
Higgins with his 2nd TD catch! 🏈
That was Rockingggg!!!
God, I hope I’m not up against him in my fantasy final (I refuse to look)
You are not!
I knew the Qards would falter. That’s why I didn’t mention it I’m the bye week update — let you all see that even with neutral coverage, the culture at 0 Super Bowl Stravenue will always build a fucking loser.
Oh my god. This is absolutely deranged and I could not be more all in on it.
https://twitter.com/PopTartsBowl/status/1873117872366481816
KRAKEN!!
EAT SHIT VANCOUVER!!!!
HAIL BLEERGH, from whom all blessings flow
Now that all my Sat errands/chores/adulting is done, do I watch college football that I do not like or go save the world with my digital wife Morrigan? (voiced by the fantastic Claudia Black)
You should let the world burn, and just bang instead.
The banging is instrumental to saving the entire world though!
Just not in the 4th game.
All three of the Morrigan?
They pass me around once a month.
Geranium neutral brandy, slimline tonic, and a splash of lime. Not bad!
Sutton with the big TD catch!
Horses tie it up!!! 🐴
That’s Rockingggg!!!
How can we add the Pop Tart Bowl to the Playoff Host Sites?
They need to just make it the championship game this year. Play it twice if they have to. Just eliminate whichever flavor of Pop-Tart gets eaten tonight.
In fact, that gives me an idea: Every game of the play-offs is a Pop-Tart Bowl, and after each game a flavor of Pop-Tart is chosen for consumption, then eliminated from further rounds, until we’re left with an undisputed college champion and what is likely the least popular flavor of Pop-Tart.
Somehow this seems like to end with an actual human sacrifice, but at this point I’m committed.
Lasagne is resting.
Hey, me too!
Bread is ready.
It’s 38-35 Miami in the Pop-Tarts Bowl.
With 3 minutes left in the 3rd. Apparently the defensive starters for both teams didn’t make the trip to Orlando.
And having been to Orlando, I cannot say I blame them.
That’s ROCKING!!!!!
But which Pop Tart will be eaten?
I have read that a captain from the winning team picks the flavor.
For those of you who asked to see a 25B “press bulb” (although GE calls them a 5B) in a polished Graflex flash reflector, well, here you are:
I changed the wake word on my echos to ‘computer’ and it’s fun to have it respond during sci fi that uses the terminology. So far it hasn’t actually been able to fulfill anything that the on screen computers do routinely
I think I saw MAGA Twitter arguing against Nazxi Twitter and I think that’s Rocking!
Lmao!
I believe that is schadenfreude I’m feeling!
The ‘coalition’ on the right is already breaking down and it’s hilarious. Everything is happening faster than I thought possible
Personally I am looking forward to our invasion of Greenland.
Yeah, it turns out that Musk and Vivek are OK with brown people coming in on certain visas, (because they work hella cheap, and if they get any ideas about asking for more money the bosses can simply not renew the visa), and the true MAGAdiots don’t want brown people coming in for any reason.
Truly a conundrum.
Actually H1B visa holders get paid the same as domestic hires, the main difference is that they’re much more concerned with job security as they have something like 60 days to get a new job if they’re laid off or fired. You can bet that most of the people who stuck around at Twitter through the Xodus were H1B
Extra funny is that Musk is now pretending he came in as H1B instead of overstaying his student visa
Very interesting ass pillo—fitbaw. It’s been both tense and chubby.
So Cam Ward plays one half for the U and then peaces out so he doesn’t get owied? Gamblers gunna be big mad.
The worst thing I’ve heard about the sports gambling resurgence is that it’s caused a surge in shitheads threatening college athletes.
Gambling + College Sports? What could wrong?
Like a face cradle, I guess? I’ll admit that I’ve never had the need to brainstorm ideas for alternate face cradles
BC Dick but with blonde hair.
25 Questions coming…
Can you get one like your partners if you travel a lot?
They come in three separate sizes!
Wait, that’s a jeans pillowcase?
Are the pockets real?
Yessss!
Burrow to Higgins!!! 🏈
TD Kitties!!!!
That’s Rocking!!!
WE DID IT! WE SCORED SOME POINTS!!!
Also Burrow with 40 TD passes so far this season! Whoa! 🤯
That’s Rockingggg!!!
Found a funny:
me at 16: my stomach is an indomitable furnace on a steam engine anything I throw in there will be annihilated into fuel
me at 38: I have to actively maintain the bacterial balance on my gut biome or I don’t get to poop right
Have to feel for Tua. Pudding for brains, and he’s gonna need a new hip before he turns 30.
I say again: “Fire Zac Taylor!”
Zac didn’t drop that pass, though
Shhh. Three word phrases are what pass for “inta-my-lekchew-alism” in Ohio these days.
Denver really does bring out every opponent’s derpiest effort. Except Baltimore. They did NOT find our bullshit amusing.
If the human body is so perfect why is our swallowing system attached to our breathing system?
I think I just snorted a piece of sausage while having a spoon of sauce.
The best part was I got to eat it 5 minutes later after it tortured my sinuses for a bit.
There’s actually an entire podcast about that but the short answer is so we can talk
Well, that was an evolutionary blunder if ever there was one.
[only sees how this is true for one gender] – Harrison Butker
Watching Cincy vs Broncos 🏈
This game seems Rocking!
Kitties vs Horsies!
I’m pro-Cincy here so next week is more interesting
Why?
I agree. Why the thong???
That is one among many whys I have here
Tua looks like he’s getting shutdown, so upgrade those WKRP playoff odds from 0.1% all the way to, say, 0.3%
New Years Eve. No. It’s Rookie Night at every bar, party, and get together
They still have Dick Clark’s name on the show. If I were watching, I’d demand to see the corpse or urn. With NOTARIZED PAPERWORK on the urn.
They had him host after he had a stroke. Was hard to watch.
KSK did a NYE Countdown in Dick Clark speak. I laughed so hard I thought I would die (because I am a real shit, see).
Yes, yes, we all heard about what Bob Kraft got up to on Boxing Day.
Not quite as bad as St Pats
I’m enjoying this Pop Tarts bowl very much. Something exciting happens every two minutes, it’s great!
You never know what’s going to pop up
ArtButMakeItSports is
Rockinggg!!!
🖼️
The biggest problem with the Bengals: Playcaller Zac Taylor.
The new 3D printer is working great.
Youngest Fozz has made two knives already.
That makes me wonder what DFO HQ would do with a 3D printer…..
My first thought is that it would be WAY EASIER to manufacture our own Gently Used Fleshlights for prizes…
Thoughts?
I first read that as Fleshlight and thought, “My God, these people are insane.”
You were right
Fixed!
That’s what he meant
Let’s hope that the MVP of the Snoop Dogg bowl gets to proclaim that Eazy-E can eat a big fat dick.
And give him some Gin and Juice
Judging by how he died, he ate something bad
Pop Tarts bowl is already crazy.
Craziness continues.
Wow, parents today need a commercial to tell their kids to stop vaping.
The JJ Fozz Foundation for Stop Your Kids From Vaping:
KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF YOU STUPID IDIOTS. GOOD CHRIST!
Telling them not to do it just makes them more stubborn about doing it. It was the same with our generation and regular smokes.
I was never really into smoking, but dear god did those idiotic anti-smoking commercials make me want to support the tobacco companies
If your kid starts vaping don’t tell them not to; just threaten to send them to gay-conversion therapy down at the local Baptist church. Tell ’em “Yeah, you’re just vaping now but soon you’ll graduate up to sucking dicks. Let’s get the cure in ya, boy!”
Just saw a Bengals logo wrapped with snakes. Appropriate.
Jason Kelce must have the best agent in the world. He’s in every commercial.
Yes, and for doing that we must hunt down that agent and behead him. Then dump the parts into a vat of acid.
Hunter Henry got me a big goose egg, so I’m gambling with Nix to have a big day…
/Watches championship slip away…
Every other game is the worst possible outcome. Bengals on the brink of elimination.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TYzg2FtF9Y&pp=ygUjZW1wZXJvcidzIG5ldyBncm9vdmUgZXhwZWN0aW5nIHRoaXM%3D
Which path to crushing disappointment do you prefer?
Something involving a tie.
Nah, you will kick the hell out of the Donks IMO. I will enjoy the chaos of next week that the NFL has scripted.