Your Lazy, Post-Xmas Football-Rich Open Thread

/takes hand-off from Hippo, wipes pill dust from the ball

Hey, welcome back! It really is a dreary day here as well. With the temps so mild our back roads in the boonies are an intermittent series of skating rinks. But I did my wee errands and now it’s time to hunker down and watch so much ball my eyes bleed.

To The Games!

Miami (Ohio)/Colorado State:

Ah, it’s that other school out west vs the team that has to differentiate itself from the more prominent football program. That Miami always confused the hell out of me when I watched the Central Michigan basketball Chippewas on a PBS channel back in high school. Neither of these teams are ranked and Snoop Dogg is the host.

East Carolina/N.C. State:

The O/U on this tilt is a beastly 59.5! I’m guessing that these defenses can’t defense. That or they have high-powered offenses. I’ll choose the flaw over the more optimistic opinion.

BYU/Colorado:

Ladies and gentlemen, your new starting QB for the NY Giants Shedeur “Two Sheds” Sanders! He’ll provide a wonderful transition from Dimes in that he’s been sacked up the ying-yang just like Jones was in college and it’ll continue into the pros.

Louisiana Tech/Army:

One of the other armed services gets the spotlight. (such as it is when the pros are playing at the same time)

Broncos/Bengals:

Is Cincy’s D going to show up? Why would they this late in the season? Rookie Nix hasn’t thrown an INT in six of his last 9 games and no one fears that secondary. His counterpart would be in the MVP chatter if only his team had a better record. This has the feel of a high-flying game.

Cards/Rams:

Who’da thunk that Arizonny would fade down the stretch except for everyone?

Enjoy the offerings.

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Brick Meathook

Me, with Xmas lights on my head, 3 minutes ago:

https://ibb.co/16TytxQ

blaxabbath

Yeah but is the audience FEELING you Feeling Xmas?

Brick Meathook

Me with Xmas lights and a shitty haircut.

Doktor Zymm

Just because I haven’t recently reveled in the blood of my enemies doesn’t mean I don’t still enjoy it. I guess most of the enemies left are people I haven’t met so it’s a bit slower with the blood and the reveling and such

WCS

You’re allowed after enduring two decades-plus of Danny Boy.

Doktor Zymm

That is some quality reveling. Let’s all dance!

Doktor Zymm

That doesn’t make sense but still going with the dance thing because why not

WCS

It seems the substitute on FOX New’s usual Saturday night “programming” is trying to ‘asplain to us poors and knaves why CEOs and uber-rich people deserve our respect.
They’ve “earned it” in a “meritocracy,” you see? They’ve clearly worked hard all their lives, using Donald Junior and Eric Trump as examples, and we haven’t.

WCS

Also, we just don’t understand how difficult it is to BE a CEO like Brian Thompson! We haven’t earned it, so how can we, the downtrodden and dreck, possibly know what challenges and strain having such a position really is?

We shouldn’t be viewing them with contempt, but with admiration and adulation!

Horatio Cornblower

Rupert Murdoch apparently thinks he’s going to live forever and is doing whatever he can to make sure some peon doesn’t copycat Luigi on his ass.

Sir, you are well into your 90’s. It’s not even worth the effort at this point. Relax. Have a drink.

BugEyedBoo

Why the hell are you watching Fox News in the first place?

WCS

There’s 88 TVs in here, I don’t get to pick.

BugEyedBoo

Ugh.

WCS

OH, and because they like to have fun on set, let’s take a break from talking down to us proletariat by forgetting for a moment why Joe Biden is specifically targeting rich, white men in this country for systemic mistreatment and being victims of white genocide in every liberal area of the country to ask: which Home Alone trap hurt the most?

See? FOX has human emotions besides rage and untethered angst, too!

Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

Damn, just realized there is something I call a Cosby sweater based off of the show. I’m just gonna call it a late 80s sweater

Horatio Cornblower

‘The Rohypnol’

ThePirateSloth

That is NOT how the Statue of Liberty play is supposed to go.
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Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

FFS!

ThePirateSloth

I guess I should get more excited for a Cards win because I could potentially have playoff tickets.

ThePirateSloth

Fuck it! I’m throwin it deep! strikes again!

Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

I wish I had a rubber ducky room. At least I can tuck a hand under my tit and pretend I’m Napoleon without an appropriate jacket

blaxabbath

I’ve seen no football here. Until I walked through the bar and saw a kicker in ot miss a close shot. I figured it had to be the Bengals but I see they win so maybe the Bears suck?

This is me now.

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Brick Meathook

That’s an outstanding photo.

blaxabbath

Needs more shoulders

yeah right

Goddammit, the Wahini is kicking our ass and laughing about it.

WCS

(see previous comments)

Doktor Zymm

This is appropriate and I approve

WCS

BYU has three turnovers to CU’s one, and are still leading by 20.

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Brick Meathook

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Jimbo

More reliable than an actual Dodge Ram

BugEyedBoo

Shiba!

Redshirt

Zuzu: Look, Daddy. Teacher says, every time someone call Deion Sanders “Coach Prime”, an angel rips out their wings.
George: That’s right, that’s right. [looks up towards the heavens and winks] Sorry, Clarence.

Horatio Cornblower

My man has a lot of jerseys.

Doktor Zymm

Going back to Lower Decks. So good

BeefReeferLives

The whole Cardinals bench:

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yeah right

Eldest granddaughter just called her little sister a “Little dick.”

Now we’re playing cards.

Redshirt

After that Bengals game, I don’t think today could get any better.

(turns on ABC)

I stand corrected.

Jimbo

Coach Prime has them right where he wants them

WCS

Back in Boulder, while he packs for Vegas and the Raiders?

Jimbo

Maybe Dallas.

King Hippo

This might be the time on Sprockets where one falls asleep with a booky-book.

Jimbo

Sprockets?

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ArmedandHammered

yep, gonna do the same

yeah right

I will have you know that the Wahini is wearing a Master of Puppets T- shirt.

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

I had a very pleasant 1 hr nap right then

King Hippo

Hippo envies your nap discipline. I pee, go back for more, and lose 4-ish hour blocks.

Doktor Zymm

This was an accidental nap on a not very comfy couch where the sound bar cut out and stopped providing soothing footballish noises so all circumstances and no discipline

King Hippo

Spontaneous naps rule. Unless one is driving.

Gumbygirl

I had a neighbor years ago with narcolepsy. I used to find her face down in the petunias all the time.

litre_cola

NC STate and ECU be brawlin over a stolen towel.

King Hippo

There is lots of hate here, we should NEVER agree to play those rat bastards. Should have declined the bowl invite.

King Hippo

Would Most Glorious DRAW work for SeaTruther purposes, or must it be a loss? I could root for me some DRAW.

Mr. Ayo

Loss only. Stupid Xbox jr.

litre_cola

The script writers were too busy in Cinci to include that today

litre_cola

Hippo gettin McBrided all over the field

King Hippo

I am having a mighty hard time pating attention. Being nil-nil ain’t likely helping my Lost Cause (har har Southern joke) none.

clint greasewood

Instead of the tush push, the Cardinals take their strongest player and just razor edge Kyler over the the line.

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clint greasewood

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blaxabbath

The guy on top should havd pivoted on his hips while the aggressor was falling back.

Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ram it?

King Hippo

yeah!!!!!

yeah right

It’s poker night at the right house.

Me and Taj and eldest daughter and son in law and two eldest granddaughters.

It’s the Wahini’s first poker night and we’re teaching her well.

She’s going to lose all her Christmas monies.

WCS

Meanwhile, she’s been covertly playing online for six years under a pseudonym and has over $750k in career winnings…

Horatio Cornblower

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But that’s me, I’m aggressive!

Gumbygirl

Wee Kyler tripped over his tiny tootsies!

Doktor Zymm

And this little piggie went wee wee wee all the way back to the bench!

Doktor Zymm

Does that even count as a sack or is it just falling on one’s ass?

The Maestro

I’m in that post-Christmas blur where I’m finally spending money on stuff for the first time all year. The damage over the last 48 hours includes a new iPad (for me), a new bike (for Lady Maestro), and a new couch (for the both of us, presumably? If she lets me share?)… time to gear up for some beans and rice for the next several weeks…

yeah right

Add some hot sauce and you’re set!

WCS

Just don’t let scotchy know what you’re cooking, because his natural instincts may kick in, and the results won’t be good.

blaxabbath

Way to go. Back to the grind.

Senor Weaselo

One of my cousins lives in the Tampa area and went to go see Ice Giants-Ice Bucs. I texted him “it can’t get worse right?”

Well, Tampa’s gone 4/4 on the man advantage. 2/2 on their own and 2/2 on the PK.

Gumbygirl

Best Coasties, supposed to be a rocket launch at 5:58. Too bad it wasn’t a few minutes ago, that sunset was spectacular!

yeah right

Thanks!

Doktor Zymm

Sean with the squat and flick flag throwing technique

Gumbygirl

I swear XBox is getting smaller every game. He’s becoming GameBoy before our very eyes!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[feels his thunder being stolen] – Tiny Darren

Doktor Zymm

The NFC wild card situation seems tame by comparison

King Hippo

Please throw to McBride like 30 times, Xbox, Jr.

King Hippo

now, 29 times

Unsurprised

Since I only just now saw this:

https://x.com/PopTartsBowl/status/1873117872366481816

Mmmmmmm. Sacrelicious

Doktor Zymm

Although with all those skirts who would know?

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Unsurprised

What if there’s a sudden cascade of fluttering?

Redshirt

Blood Pressure felt a bit higher than normal, though.

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Unsurprised

Pffft.

Those are rookie numbers. You gotta get those numbers up!

King Hippo

Warner in puffer coat…in fookin’ Los Angeles????

Doktor Zymm

It must be under 70f

Redshirt

Fuck this standing. Give Burrow the goddamn MVP now!

Gumbygirl

Absolutely. Can you imagine if he was on a good team? Tom who?

Col. Duke LaCross

That isn’t even the same fucking sport as was played Thursday night.

King Hippo

I went to bed at HT, yet I saw all there was to see on TNF. Hippo was AMAZE

Last edited 17 hours ago by King Hippo
Redshirt

That was a simple documentation error.

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Unsurprised

Third time that score has happened in a Seattle defeat over a Chicago team in 2024.

Redshirt

Still al

Doktor Zymm

Next up, Chef/Donk tie

Gumbygirl

You ok Redshirt?

Unsurprised

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ballsofsteelandfury

Someone check on Redshirt

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He’s fine.

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Doktor Zymm

Yeah, it was one of those beneficial heart attacks

King Hippo

Like free speedholes, but in less messy format!

Brick Meathook

HEY WCS SEND AN AMBULANCE TO REDSHIRT