Can I wishcast a Houston W? Can they actually string two above average games together for the first time this season? I’ve got some tids and bits regarding this tilt so here we go…
To The Game!
Texans/Chiefs:
-Is this Reid’s best coaching job ever? (and by extension, Spags) To lose only one game (I consider the final game to be a throwaway) while failing to score 30 points in any tilt is a considerable accomplishment. Given that Kelce (all his quickness/explosion is gone) is starting to look his age and the wr’s have been pedestrian at best, this is smoke and mirrors and past reputation sitting pretty.
-There’s too much talk regarding ends Anderson (11 sacks, 30 pressures) and Hunter needing to sack the bananas out of Mahomes in order for the Texans to win but it’s far more nuanced than that. What they need to do is shrink the pocket on a regular basis and close off running lanes when the eventual Patty Scramble occurs. They’ll have to stop any tendency to run wide although they’ll be pushed that way.
-The Texans are 7-3 when Mixon averages 4+ ypc.
-Chiefs Threepeat?: No team that has won back-to-back Super Bowls has ever made it back to the Super Bowl that third year.
-Mahomes has never lost in the divisional round-he’s 6-0. He’s also never turned the ball over in those six games. BASTARD!
-I ragged on the Chiefs wr’s but beyond Nico the Texans cupboard is bare.
It doesn’t look good brothers and sisters, but let’s take a gander anyway. Have at it.
this xp miss brought to you by fanduel
I see we have reached the false hope portion of the game!
That was a good drive by Houston.
…that kick though…
yippy!
Don’t recall the last over 10:00 drive I saw…
The sequel to Too Wong Fu that we’ve all been waiting for!
I did not realize what time it was and/or kinda forgot the game was coming on, so I’ve just been sitting outside in the sunshine with my dogs in the yard and the cats in the catio for like 4 hours.
I mean, cannabis might have had a bit to do with the not getting up part, and the occasional sunshine nap, but I will neither confirm nor deny the Jack Herer I might or might not be smoking.
I’d rather have. 4-loss SEC team in the national championship game than those two disgraceful institutions.
Alabama:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCMcSx1as3c&pp=ygUudGhhbm9zIHlvdSBjb3VsZG4ndCBsaXZlIHdpdGggeW91ciBvd24gZmFpbHVyZQ%3D%3D
that’s sure nuff right PPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAWWWWLLLLLL
We’uns make a Southerner outta yew yet!
I may miss the second half when Spaggs draws up another brilliant defensive plan to win us the game.
https://www.reddit.com/r/IASIP/comments/1i4hl9z/nfl_teams_and_their_corresponding_sunny_character/
that is really fucking good
Seriously. The Jets, specially, is perfect.
shit, I only noticed the NFC North!!
I almost assume misspelling Detroit is intentional
Can we fast forward to Commies/Fuck Liouns? please and thank you
“Fucking Kelce.”
-The Texans defense and the title of a future Taylor Swift tune
“Fuckin’ Kelces” is also the name of a Tay-Tay pr0n parody series.
Starring the actual Jason Kelce
No, this game isn’t rigged as fuck.
The WWE is more legitimate
imaginary pass pro? CHECK
time for takeout and a liquor store run, going to need it
can you grab some vodka for me. thanks
What takeout?
doing hearty spghetti meatballs and pasta fagioli soup to anchor the drinking
Mahomes can be sacked? Is that legal?!?!
No flag? The check must’ve bounced.
Afternoon folks
NEW IDEA – if you rip the opponent’s head off along with the helmet, BLEERGH is waved off
Was that guy’s name Morothy? Are they rebooting the Wiz?
Oh, Worthy, nevermind. Guess I forgot how to read since I haven’t been drinking.
He’s no big game James
“M as in Morothy”
At this point, if I’m a defensive lineman, I’m slamming Mahones to the ground every time I get. He’s going to get a call anyway, you might as well make it worth something.
Go for the knees
And or the groin.
vocal chords seem to be his weak spot.
cant wait for him to take over Bradys broadcast contract in a few years
BLEERGH forced my hand
early dinner it is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLtHFVT7htM
Manos II: the Flags Of Fate
Still struggling to get thorough the MSTK version of Manos.
yeah, not watching much more of this
Doesn’t Stroud know what the Blue Tent of Death/Toradol is for?
We has game. Woo.
FGkakke
Napoli just won, they are comfortably on top of the table. Speaking of comfortable…
Definitely comfortable!
I hope Mixon gets hurt.
Stroud thinking he’s going to get a call is so cute
Thanks for coming, Boyd.
He’s riding pine, if I’m the coach.
You misspelled the bus.
Chris Boyd announcing DraftKings sponsorship after game
wife is gonna make pasta with sweet italian sausage meat sauce pretty soon
texans want me to tell her to probably start making it sooner than expected
Did you offer to help with the ingredients?
Still beating the spread, still winning morally
I’m going to start sharing my bon mots with Bluesky
welp, if there is good news we have already reached the bullshit quota
(lol nope)
I think I found the chiefs fans at the airport bar.
you’ll noe them by their BMI…
Sir, what do you think the football watching clientele at an airport looks like in general?
Another excellent reason to root against KC is that damn racist chant
“presenting the nations colors…some volunteers because all the troops and cops are busy shooting the illegals and homeless and the firefighters putting out the wildfires just outside the stadium. please rise and remove your hats and breathing apparatuses.”
sorry, thought this was the 2027 divisional open thread
(yes, shooting firefighters because some of those are criminals/slaves trying to escape. philip k dick wouldve given up writing by now)
Mrs. Cola demands more saxomophooonnnee
Does this singer not know the lyrics?
LET’S GO RECENCY BIAS!!!!
Mm. I forgot DeAndre Hopkins plays for the Chefs now. Fuck it. Imaginaries all the way. Hope Autry and Hunter get 2 sacks each.
/gotta be truthful up in this bitch
The large-breasted Goth girl from Stittsville from the late 80’s is not responding to my texts. I’ll have to assume that she’s cheering for the Chiefs.
So much wishcast power in the Clubhouse! Imaginary folks supporting the imaginary team!! Against all odds!!!!
BTW, I love when I am early enough in the new post to bestow the first FIVE STAR rating. Feel proper like God, yeah?
THE POWER OF IMAGINATION, GO!
I didn’t even know we could rate a post.
I accidently gave someone a two star a few years ago. I was just a pup, in my defence!
We might as well root for Gryffindor for all the good it’s going to do us.
Spoken like a total Hufflepuff
The sorting hat took one look at me and shouted “SLYTHERIN!”
Time to sell out reason
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3LBTlyzTPs
The Fade Hippo Fund is looking to have a banner day!
that kickoff play had to be thrilling for the fund
Ciao tutti
I hope I can watch the games, my internet has been crazy glitchy for a few days
We’ll let you know what’s happening if it’s being annoying
It’s on channel 7 if you have an antenna
It’s time likes this where I wish we had a discord channel and just stream the game for everyone to watch.
And if we all have headsets with mics: talk shit about either team, specific players, each other, shitty commercials, random fans the tv crew shows, Troy/Joe.
Play by play the DFO way would be brilliant
Texans cover? Chiefs just don’t blow teams out any more.
That’d be my wager. but that may just be stupid optimism.
Stupid Optimism is the latest roller coaster ride at DollyWood, ppl forget that.
Seems like the obvious bet, although there are those around the clubhouse who think it’s a trap
Only good thing about everyone thinking this is going to be an easy KC win is that includes KC. Maybe they get caught looking ahead to Buffalo/Baltimore?
the .500s have to go 1-1 in the playoffs so this is an easy one
but no doubt mahomes and the chiefs, the new brady/greatriots troll geniuses of this generation, will keep it within a score up until the 2 min warning
That’s why I went Texans +8. They’ll lose but probably keep it within a score.