Saturday Void Voidness Open Thread

This week was just so very…very.

It snowed here, I finally got my dishwasher replaced (fuck me, does going 2 weeks without a dishwasher reveal just how soft I am, even by WASP standards), did my annual “justify your existence” review, etc.

And today…fuck shit to look forward to.  At least with Dyche out, I can watch Toffees/Trashbirds, while I curse how fat and creaky I am trying to get in some exercise bike time (footy is perfect for that, no ads but your attention can drift a bit when needed).  Then…nothing.

Two games tomorrow, one solely on mute.  I think Birds/Bills would be kind of fun (those two fan bases put the “fun” back into “functional alcoholic” – turn ’em loose in the French Quarter!), so we’ll get the opposite.  Ugh.

Beyond that, really not much to be said.  Just waiting for the day that the Black Maria shows up at Hippo’s door.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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scotchnaut

The Sens beat Toronto 2-1 tonight. This adversely affects the Leafs playoff chances.

yeah right

It’s raining!

In LA!!!

Unsurprised

Just because so much of L.A. drifted up into the atmosphere.

yeah right

It’s really raining like real rain!

Doktor Zymm

We got some showers up here this morning and early afternoon, my car is nice and clean now!

Looks like maybe some more on Friday

ballsofsteelandfury

Address to a Haggis

Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great Chieftan o’ the Puddin-race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe or thairm:

Weel are ye wordy o’ a grace
As lang’s my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o’ need,
While thro’ your pores the dews distil
Like amber mead.

His knife see Rustic-labour dight,
An’ cut you up wi’ ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an’ strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a’ their weel-swall’d kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit hums.

Is there that owere his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi’ perfect scunner,
Looks down wi’ sneering, scornfu’ view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither’d rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro’ bluidy flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He’ll make it whissle;
An’ legs, an’ arms, an’ heads will sned,
Like taps o’ thrissle.

Ye Pow’rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o’ fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratfu’ prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!

Horatio Cornblower

Well done, laddie.

litre_cola

Love your work.

yeah right

And now I want haggis.

blaxabbath

I’m glad all those IGs got fired.

Now food costs are down.

Mr. Ayo

Lies! That Arby’s Double Beef and Cheddar is still $11!! Highway robbery!

Horatio Cornblower

He said “food costs”; he didn’t say anything about Arby’s.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Looking forward to all teachers in blue states getting fired via a “truth”. This country would drive me to drink if I didn’t already have one in my hand.

litre_cola

Happy Burns day!!!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Go birds

Horatio Cornblower

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scotchnaut

Go Burns!

Brick Meathook

Self portrait:

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Redshirt

Family Portrait:

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Horatio Cornblower

Wow, you look just like UConn’s 3-pt shooting tonight.

litre_cola

Did you know that their stadium isn’t in Chelsea?

Horatio Cornblower

Some are saying that.

ballsofsteelandfury

I finally reached out to my buddy in Dallas about the Cowboys.

Let’s just say that last night’s post about the Cowboys fan response was 1000% accurate.

Redshirt

.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Easy, Krusty.

Gumbygirl

Too bad it’s not Washington DC

blaxabbath

That’s from 2024.

Biden’s fault. Sorry libtards.

ballsofsteelandfury

Which book?

ballsofsteelandfury

Have not read Fluke but Lamb was highly enjoyable.

I’m about to start the vampires in SF series.

Last edited 21 hours ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Horatio Cornblower

There’s a fair amount of sex in those.

You’ll hate it.

Horatio Cornblower

Lamb is an absolute masterpiece.

There is a sequel to ‘A Dirty Job’, ‘Secondhand Souls’ which is also good and which also feature a Morrigan or three.

yeah right

The Bible?

WCS

They are fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked

litre_cola

McCarthy incoming

yeah right

I’ll send up the Satan signal.

yeah right

Oh we on that!

yeah right

Taj and I were just reminiscing about concerts past.

July 4th 1979 we went to a festival in Rockford Illinois and it was a packed 1979 lineup.

The Baby’s
AC/DC with Bon Scott
The Outlaws
REO Speedwagon
Cheap Trick.

Cheap Trick is from Rockford you see. Mayor gave them the keys to the city on stage.

Anyway.

During AC/DC Angus left the stage with his wireless guitar. You could see the crowd going crazy as he wandered through.
Couple of minutes later the crowd parted and Angus is on Bon Scott’s shoulders just shredding the shit out of his guitar and they’re directly in front of us. No shit, like standing a foot away.

They were close enough that you could see that Angus had broken his high E string. He got sweat on us.

That really happened.

yeah right

They were playing “Let there be Rock.”

yeah right
SonOfSpam

Fuck yeah, rock n roll

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You should listen to this song.

(it is not a cover, more of a tribute)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHDu_7LM7-U

Horatio Cornblower

I saw them play that live in Boston a few years back. Holy shit what a show.

Bogdanski

I saw Cheap Trick in Rockford in 95. My dad was from there so i actually spent some time there. Any town that produced Cheap Trick, Natasha Legerro, and my dad can’t be all that bad

2Pack

In May 1978 my platoon was at French Commando School in Bresach Germany on the Rhine just across the border where the French still had an occupation zone. Saw Powerage in a local shop, bought it and jumped it in my rucksack out of a C-130 back into Italy. Prayed for a soft landing and got it. The album is still in the collection.

ballsofsteelandfury

Seriously? That’s all he’s done since the 90s.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If that were true, wouldn’t he be doing boner pill commercials, but, uh, doing them better somehow?

Gatoraids

really trying to extenze his legacy

ArmedandHammered

Watching MST3K Moon Zero Two and ‘relaxing’.

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t know if I could get it up to MST3K, but you do you.

ArmedandHammered

maybe I should say I am getting stoned not relaxed, but you know, thinking about it Weird World of Bat Women might be doable.

ArmedandHammered

They are wearing Othello pieces on their head!

yeah right

I’m officially off my football watching ass and straight killing it in the Sunday Gravy kitchen.

Oh boy is this gonna be great!

2Pack

Tis the season, looking forward to it.

ArmedandHammered

I have been laughing randomly ever since I heard who JJ hired to coach his stars.

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

Being in tech keeps me in touch with the youngs

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Gatoraids

love creative comments in boring code bases at least they sorta care in some way. Had some good one in an app of hours like “dont blame me the idiots up in NY made me do this” from a junior programmer at the time. Now hes been like a lead at netflix and amex since then.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ecNAhlWq64

scotchnaut

My sophistimakedcated theory? This band never broke through because she was chubby.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4x0fPZrPV3M&ab_channel=RomeoVoidVEVO

yeah right

That was one of the first songs I ever heard on KROQ back in the early eighties.

The other one was…

yeah right
ballsofsteelandfury

Probably true

Horatio Cornblower

Probably true, and it’s a goddamn shame, because she could absolutely wail.

SonOfSpam
Doktor Zymm

Oh yeah, that’s the good stuff

WCS

One idea, the source said, was to announce that he had years earlier given up alcohol, and to say that much of his alleged misbehavior over the years that caused so much league and fellow owner angst happened while he was drunk

Somehow, he keeps finding ways for me to loathe him.
It isn’t easy, Danny Boy. Fuck you very much for actually making this personal on a level.

Gatoraids

thanks was just about to put that in case people missed it. I can now even more accurately dream of his Rumplestitskin inspired rage death straight to hell.

scotchnaut

It has feelings? Really?

Horatio Cornblower

I always enjoy hearing about how people have invested their $6 billion.

If I ever get my hands on $6 billion I will not invest it. I will simply put it all in some bank or banks and then spend it in the dumbest way possible. The fuck do I need to increase a 6 billion pile of money for anyway?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Um…you understand what banks do with money that you deposit in them, right?

scotchnaut

[invests heavily in New York Giants futures]

-Carl Banks

SonOfSpam

6 billion in a checking account that earns 0.25% interest would still earn 15 million a year.

And I think somehow you’d pay less tax on that than on a salary.

/orders 12-pack of guillotines from Costco

scotchnaut

[gets 15% discount because of volume purchase/irony/Capitalism]

blaxabbath

When you get to the top 1%, you’ll understand.

But you’d rather have avocado toast.

ballsofsteelandfury

Avocado toast is the perfect example of why this country is going down the shitter.

Doktor Zymm

avocados do have quite a bit of fiber

Unsurprised

Becoming a billionaire turns the people who weren’t already (i.e. the ones who are evil enough to do the crimes necessary to become one) into psychopaths.

Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t become a psychopath, but no one will give me a billion dollars to test my theory

Mr. Ayo

This is so great. I hope the reporters make this an annual tradition.

Mr. Ayo

There’s no void once I RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

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2Pack

No void… none…

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Horatio Cornblower

At some point I need to watch whatever this movie is.

For reasons.

yeah right

I think that may be The Adventures of Baron Von Munchausen and that may be Uma Thurman.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s actually Clash of the Titans

Doktor Zymm

For some reason the word order there makes me think of women in pant suits and sensible pumps playing volleyball

BeefReeferLives

Was watching Return of the Jedi when Luke is totally taken off guard when Palp starts blasting him with lightning & thought:

“Ya know, Yoda should have probably mentioned that during his training. Bit of an oversight, that…”

WCS

“Bad, my oops.”

Dunstan

I think the only consistent thing throughout Star Wars is: the Jedi are really fucking dumb.

“Force abilities run in the family. Let’s strongly discourage our members from forming attachments and having children.”

“We’re a little worried about this angsty powerful teenager with anger issues. Let’s forbid him from having a girlfriend.”

“Starting to think that maybe there’s a Sith around the government somewhere, but who could possibly figure that out?”

“Ok, things are pretty badly fucked. We need to protect these infant twins, who may become the last hope of the Jedi, from Anakin Skywalker. I’ll take Luke to his home planet, call him Luke Skywalker, and put him with his aunt and uncle. Nobody will ever suspect anything.”

“Let’s not give Luke or Leia any Jedi training until they’re well into their teens. . . . Ok, look, I can’t train him now, he’s too old.”

“Fine, I’ve started training him, but he’s not ready to face Vader yet. He’ll lose and probably get turned to the dark side. If Vader kills Leia, well, no big whoop.”

“Shit, he’s determined to leave and face Vader. Let’s not tell him that Vader is his father, I’m sure Vader will be chill and not mention it to try to turn him or anything.”

“Well, damn, he left and is going to get himself turned. It’s ok, there is another. I mean, she’s being held captive by Vader, who will probably kill her now that she’s served her purpose as bait. And she’s the same age as Luke but doesn’t even have the beginnings of training, but I’m hopeful.”

“Oh, you’re back from facing Vader, which I said you weren’t ready for and I was right! Huh, he told you about the father thing, who could have known? Well, you’re a Jedi now, except for one thing — you have to face Vader! Yes, I know I just told you that you weren’t ready, but now you totally are.”

“Yeah, you’ve got to kill your dad. Sorry, but once you start down the dark side, there’s no coming back. It’s simply impossible.”

And remember that a lot of this is coming from the guy who is supposedly the wisest of Jedi. Shit.

The one thing the Jedi have going for them is that their enemies are even dumber. “Our philosophy is so fucked up that we’re incapable of working together to defeat the Jedi without backstabbing each other. So we will voluntarily limit our numbers to two, which is great odds against many many Jedi. Oh, and those two will be constantly scheming to kill and replace each other.”

blaxabbath

I still enjoyed the franchise.

Now, the way people have made it a Thing — well, like I always say, you can’t get in the 1% if you’re part of the bottom quintile.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Some of the justifications that hardcore fans have come up with are actually pretty interesting – such as the Storm Troopers being unable to hit anything because the contract for manufacturing their blasters was done as a corrupt kickback deal and the product suffered accordingly. Of course that can’t account for the good guys being able to shoot the pips out of a playing card from 200m in high winds, but you’ve always got “The Force” to fall back on.

Dunstan

There’s at least 2(?) instances where you can rationalize that the Stormtroopers have been ordered not to hit the heroes, because Vader’s plan is for them to get away.

But yeah, it’s kind of weird.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I know it comes off as trollish, but I just think it’s funny that people will jump through all kinds of hoops out of a compulsive need to justify narrative choices by writers that happen in a setting where half of the characters have magic space powers.

Dunstan

Oh god, they can’t compare to comic book fans!

Dunstan

Oh sure, I like some of it as well. My point is just that the problems with some of the later works aren’t that they have plot holes, because the original trilogy is full of them.

Unsurprised

“Evil will always win because Good is dumb.”

2Pack

Napoli won. Now let’s see what else is on… Oh there’s Jack… and Squat.

ballsofsteelandfury

Not interested in Empoli v Bologna?

Last edited 1 day ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If I wanted to see some bologna get wrecked I’d have lunch at one of the delis along Coach Reid’s drive home from the Chiefs facility.

scotchnaut

“If I wanted to see some bologna get wrecked I’d just watch some Rocco Siffredi videos.”

-Balls, probably

Last edited 1 day ago by scotchnaut
2Pack

Not really.

yeah right

Give Squat a chance.

It’s up for best cinematography.

2Pack

I donno… Kung Fu Panda or a Barbara Bouche and Edwige Fenece 1979 titty flick.

scotchnaut

Syracuse losing to Pitt 43-43.

WCS

Go meteor indeed…

WCS
scotchnaut

Credit to Jerry-he’s created the NFL’s most valuable franchise and the worst coaching destination at the same time.

NONE OF THE BEST COACHING CANDIDATES IN THIS CYCLE WOULD EVEN BOTHER SITTING DOWN WITH ME FOR EVEN TEN MINUTES? THEY MUST BE CRAZY BECAUSE I SURE AIN’T. I’M JERRY JONES! WHERE’S THE NEAREST PRESS CONFERENCE?

Horatio Cornblower

Absolutely stunned the sad Cowboys fan was wearing pants when he walked out into the snow.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, that doesn’t sound like any Cowboys fan that *I* know…

/the only Cowboys fans I know hang around here and are well aware of clubhouse policy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Congratulations to Madison Keys (who I believe is a second cousin of Ashley Madison) for winning her very first grand slam tournament over HGH Natalie Portman!

https://www.reddit.com/r/tennis/comments/1i9ko6g/match_point_and_the_moment_where_madison_keys/

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Speaking of Ashley Madison, what percentage of the incoming cabinet do you think could be traced back to that database leak. 75%?

yeah right

/ looks around sheepishly

Dunstan

My usual rule in women’s tennis is “cheer for the hottie,” but I’m ok with Keys winning here.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Despite my jokes, I quite like Sabalenka and this is one only a few times that I have rooted very strongly for her opponent.

scotchnaut

Get the fuck out-Madison Keys is the name of the girl detective that solved “The Missing Brown Bunny” case.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s funny you should mention The Brown Bunny because I could have sworn that Vincent Gallo owned a house in Malibu or Pacific Palisades and I was gonna pop some champagne if it had burned down. Can’t find any mention of it online though.

scotchnaut

Conan explains the Civil War to the TikTok generation-come for the funny, stay for Sona’s boobs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TYZCEpNUaI&ab_channel=TeamCoco

2Pack

Sona’s boobs make any subject interesting.

scotchnaut

Regarding Man City: This is the “re-set” year, correct?

/hot taek-Rodri’s injury has impacted the team more than The Broom’s

scotchnaut

TSN is advertising their NHL trade deadline show. (the trade deadline is March 7th)

litre_cola

We need to keep everyone abreast of what the Leafs might do.

Dunstan

“BREAKING NEWS — The Leafs made a massive deal, acquiring a seventh defenseman! Coming up, our panel will discuss: What will he do on his day with the Stanley Cup this summer?”

scotchnaut

TIL (courtesy of the CBC) that in warmer climes in the 1800’s large blocks of ice with fans behind them were placed in music theatres and the like to cool audiences down. If a play or whatever was very popular the ice would reduce quickly. These popular shows with large audiences were called “block busters”.

Dunstan

Happy Robert Burns Day, everyone! Be sure to drink lots of scotch with your haggis!

Senor Weaselo

What’s his first name?

“I don’t know.”

Last edited 1 day ago by Senor Weaselo
litre_cola

I have a Scottish dinner planned. Haggis w whisky sce, neeps, tatties, black pudding, potato scones.

scotchnaut

I tried black pudding once. ONCE.

yeah right

I’ve tried it….

About 6 times and can’t wait for more.

Fucking delightful with a runny egg and some fresh bread and butter.

Doktor Zymm

I’m nawt gonna bother, as I’ve never liked any form of blood sausage. One of the few things I just can’t stomach

scotchnaut

Yeah, in the list of foods born of hardship/poverty/desperation, ‘blood anything’ is F tier for me.

WCS

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Dunstan

I’m doing cockaleekie soup, haggis with neeps and tatties, cheese, and sticky toffee pudding with whisky sauce.

yeah right

The Boxty House in Dublin had a stupid delicious sticky toffee pudding that was so good with a shot of Jameson and a dark ale.

2Pack

Napoli taking on Juve. Real Marika excitement here folks.

marika2-calciomercatonews.com-10-6-23
litre_cola

At Deci’s swimming with that fixture on my phone.

Horatio Cornblower

Why, that’s not disappointing at all, Everton.

Horatio Cornblower

THIS BOURNEMOUTH STADIUM I CALL IT MATT GAETZ’S NAKED PUZZLE BASEMENT, BECAUSE IT’S GOT A SECTION FOR ‘JUNIOR CHERRIES’

Horatio Cornblower

Gotta credit Patton Oswalt.

yeah right

A couple of years back I was seriously planning a trip there and it was taking shape.

Then I visited Belfast first.

Not sure I’m ever going to visit England now.

Doktor Zymm

Why not? If we aren’t going to be anywhere that has screwed over someone else we would all have to move to Antarctica

Horatio Cornblower

And I’ve got my eyes on those shifty-ass Emperor penguins.

Horatio Cornblower

7 minutes of extra time in Bournemouth and it’s already 5-0.

yeah right

/ Ties red and black bandana around wing wang while sprinting in circles.

// trips over Hippo while setting off fireworks

/// lights clubhouse roof on fire

/v clubhouse barely notices

Horatio Cornblower

Not like it’s a Great White concert or anything.

BeefReeferLives

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BeefReeferLives

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Horatio Cornblower

Like Larry from Regina, but way less cool.

litre_cola

Larry retired!!!!

scotchnaut

Is he Larry from Florida now?

/I just don’t get the Canadian obsession with that place

litre_cola

He seemed a hearty Prairie man. Probably vacation near the Gulf of America.

Doktor Zymm

It’s warm. They show up everywhere warm in the winter and Florida just has massive tourist infrastructure and is nearby so it gets a lot of them and then they retire there because they’re familiar with it

scotchnaut

Within my extended family it’s a status signifier [rolls eyes] that goes back to the late 70’s. I’ve been and the place doesn’t have a soul. (not talking about the political aspect) When I say that I prefer Arizona and New Mexico there’s a cocking of heads

Cousin: “Why do you prefer the desert?”

Me: “Why do you prefer the ocean? Do you swim in it every day?”

Cousin: “Well, no…”

Don T

Ocean 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 to one. Even if I never ever EVAH go swimming again.

Doktor Zymm

Better view, smells good, cooling breezes, and humid enough that your sinuses don’t bleed.

Horatio Cornblower

Have to go to the Keys if you want to find any sort of soul in Florida.

It sure as fuck isn’t anywhere near Orlando.

Horatio Cornblower

News you can use: Shoresy S4 drop 2/26 in the US.

Earlier in Canada, assuming the US hasn’t invaded by then.

Doktor Zymm

We’ll try to invade, but Hegseth will be passed out after mistakenly propositioning Justin Beiber so we’ll lose the element of surprise

Horatio Cornblower

Oh I’m quite sure Hegseth will be full of surprises.

yeah right

Fully invading in April.

They won’t even see it coming.

Horatio Cornblower

Bournemouth going abolutely bonkers right now.

Horatio Cornblower

Meh. Offsides.

Still looked good.

Horatio Cornblower

OK, that one wasn’t.

What the hell? Three goals, (2 allowed), in about 6 minutes.

Senor Weaselo

THIS BOURNEMOUTH I CALL THEM WARHEAD BY THE WAY THEY’VE GONE NUCLEAR TODAY.

/Again remember Warhead was also by Team Razer

litre_cola

He’s back baby!

Horatio Cornblower

Oh wow, Michael Oliver fucked over Arsenal.

Again.

Senor Weaselo

So the bad news is that Senorita Weaselo put wayyyy too much vanilla extract in her matcha.

The good news is MORNING DRANKIN’ because of how much vanilla extract is in the matcha.

/Okay, it’s not enough alcohol for a buzz but it tastes boozy which counts for something!

Don T

If it weren’t for the dread of the upcoming offseason, I’d be more ready for some fitbaw.

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

I’m very excited for tomorrow’s games, but I’m also assuming the Owl will be essentially unwatchable by having KC in it so expecting it to be The End

BrettFavresColonoscopy

They should rename the Rooney Roole for Leslie Frazier. That guy is ALWAYS interviewed and never gets the HC gig.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(yes I’m aware he was the Vikes head coach but he is the first guy interviewed for like 80% of vacancies)

yeah right

I was gonna say we tried that once.

Don T

I got an ad that started with
“If your crunchy, holistic friends have been raving about liver”
Extraterrestrial copywriter fo sho.

Fronkenshteen

Holy fuck the next election is going to hilarious. Trump is going to engineer some fuckawful thing where we all have guns at our heads and he gets 99% or some fucking thing. He might do it next year! Why wait? This is going to be fantastic.

Fronkenshteen

Yes! I’ve just decided I’m right. I was right that he was INSTANTLY going to start playing up Russia as our harmless, old army-buddies from WWII (did NAWT anticipate he’d inflate their dead from 26 million to 60 MILLION), so my next correct prediction is that he wants FDR’s record for most prez. election victories, but will lack the patience to wait all those years. Because he was cheated, you see.

litre_cola

Mrs Cola and I spoke about this last night. Trump will be there til he dies.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve known better and younger people than him that already had a heart attack this year, so he best get on with it.

Maybe something decent will come from destroying all the research in progress at NIH after all, although it’ll probably just be lots of premature deaths and the loss of America’s place as a leader in medical research.

Horatio Cornblower

Trump is going to be 81 at the end of this term, assuming his all-fast-food-all-the-time diet doesn’t step in and help us all out before then. He’d need a Constitutional amendment to run again and if he does engineer that, hello Barack Obama.

Senor Weaselo

That’s why the guy tried to specifically make it a nonconsecutive terms can have a third term amendment! They’re terrified of Obama stepping in.

Horatio Cornblower

I didn’t realize that. That’s hilarious.

May as well put an asterisk in the title line and then at the bottom there’s another asterisk and it says “does not apply to nig Presidents who served consecutive terms.”

Dunstan

Now, be fair, that wording would also exclude George W. Bush from getting a third term.

/sees blank looks from Republicans

You see, George W. Bush used to be President. He was a Republican. Started the war in Iraq.

(pauses)

No, really, he did, that wasn’t Obama. 9/11 happened early in Bush’s term, and …

(pauses)

No, again, that was not Obama’s fault. True, Obama was not in the Oval Office that day, but that’s because he was a relatively unknown law professor then.

Anyway, Bush also fucked up the Hurricane Katrina situation, and tried to privatize Social Security, and….

REALLY? NONE OF THIS RINGS A BELL?

BugEyedBoo

When the Tea Party got started my boss came back from a rally. “Did you know that the Federal budget had put the US deep into debt? We have to do something!” Where the fuck was this level of concern in the years 2000-2008?

Horatio Cornblower

Both parties do that one, though. The National Debt is the most important thing in the world and demands immediate attention when a party is not in power, but when they’re in power it’s no big deal and can be addressed in the long run, and as Keynes said “in the long run we’re all dead.”

Unsurprised

Obama just ended his third term.

BugEyedBoo

Trump ain’t engineering shit. His minions might. If your dad talked like Trump you’d be getting power of attorney over his affairs right now. Yesterday he said tumbleweeds won’t tumble if you keeps them watered, and California is at fault for the fires because they won’t turn the faucet on to get the fresh water to fight the fires. He was rambling in 2020, and he ain’t getting smarter.

Like Mencken said, we’re gonna get it, good and hard.

Horatio Cornblower

The key to all this is Trump. Say what you will about him, (and I will, at great length and with a truly impressive amount of vulgarity), but he has a charisma to him tho appeals to his slack-jawed, mouth-breathing base, and the people he’s surrounded himself with lack that charisma. Trump voters won’t crawl out of their holes for someone like Tom Cotton or Ted Cruz. This will, (I say, crossing my fingers so hard I pop three knuckles), be something like Huey Long: Trump will die, his movement will peter out. Hopefully the long-term damage will be minimized, and Greenland and Panama haven’t somehow become the 51 and 52nd states.

BugEyedBoo

You’re not wrong, but he’s getting pretty close to drooling idiot territory. Ex: his 40-minute, “Let’s just listen to some music,” rally. It’ll be like Reagan, and they’ll have to keep him squirreled away.

Unsurprised

Good grief.

Don T

I had forgotten Schotty II had been a career assistant. Could be sneaky competent, but I dunno if he can command respect* from the players. Familiarity could help, unless he becomes popular shy and yell-y all of the sudden. That’s all the copium I have for PersoN fans.

* Respect outside the locker room? 🤣🤣🤣 He still works for Jerrah. That’s hard to respect

scotchnaut

I love Jerry Jones so much.

Horatio Cornblower

He really takes the pressure off of football fandom.

scotchnaut

I’m not sure which kind of out of touch geriatric type owner I’d prefer, Mara or Jones. Probably neither.

Horatio Cornblower

Can I interest you in a gently used McCaskey?

Doktor Zymm

He is a gift

Horatio Cornblower

Much like herpes, he keeps on giving.

Dunstan

I’m now wondering, was the Deion thing ever serious, or was it just a sham so that (1) Cowboys could say they complied with the Rooney Rule; and (2) Deion gets to say he was considered for an NFL job?

blaxabbath

When Dan Snyder buys a premiership team, you’ll only need one game per week.

Doktor Zymm

Wait, are premiership owners actually a worse group of humans than NFL owners??

Horatio Cornblower

To my knowledge none of the NFL owners have had a journalist strangled and then dismembered with a bone saw, so yes.

scotchnaut

That sheik was just kidding around, jesus-can’t anyone take a joke?

Last edited 1 day ago by scotchnaut
litre_cola

Why not both? Khaaaaaaaaannnnnn!!!!

Don T

Good morning, your Majesty. Imma get some chicken entrails and eye of newt to conjure a very special Valentine’s Day on Upper Cakalaky
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Doktor Zymm

Fell asleep early then woke up at 1:30 am to news that Trump’s DUI hire got confirmed and decided to doomscroll for a bit. Nawt time well spent!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

When Mitch McConnell thinks you’re unqualified as a Republican….you really are a piece of shit. Like recognizes like.

Doktor Zymm

McConnell’s comments were actually pretty brutal, he’s paying some solid lip service to trying to appear on the right side of history and pretend he was there the whole time

Doktor Zymm

Too bad Vance’s motorcade to cast the tiebreaker didn’t crash

Senor Weaselo

I am somehow more certain of that than him trying to appear on the right side of history.