Let’s not waste any time on an ill-thought-out preamble.
To The Game!
Eagles/Chiefs:
-Spags Alert!: The Chiefs have allowed but one 100 yard rusher this year. The bad news for Saquon? It was a QB by the name of Lamar! and it was waaay back in week one.
-Here’s some more bad news for Philly-Mahomes is 8-0 vs Fangio defenses. However, this is the first time in his playoff career that he’s playing against a #1 ranked unit.
-Though Hurts went for 246 two weeks ago, in the other two games he threw for less than 146 yards.
-Much has been made of K.C. having won 17 straight one score games but the Eagles have been tested and their record this year in those games is 9-2.
-Jake Elliot being 1 of 8 from 50+ yards is going to affect Sirianni’s decision-making. Will Philly fans be cognizant of this should a choice fizzle? You know the answer.
-During these playoffs the Eagles D has forced 10 turnovers and they have not turned the ball over yet. As a matter of fact, Hurts hasn’t thrown an INT since November 10th.
-Sirianni is the only coach to reach the playoffs and go to two Super Bowls in his first four years. (I thought Seifert might have done so but he missed the playoffs in his third year with a 10-6 record and won his 2nd Super Bowl in his fifth year. Btw, does anyone remember him coaching Carolina?)
-As you may have guessed, Patty’s QBR is 10 points higher in the postseason.
-Potential wide receiver surprises today? I’ll take D-Hop, who has only one catch so far. He’s a proven guy and Reid has a habit of going to an unlikely source at an important time. On the other side Devonta Smith will not attract much attention-he could erupt.
-Reid is 33-7 with two weeks to prepare for a game.
-Though the best part of his game is scrambles and designed runs, Hurts led all QB’s in completion percentage over expectation this season. (+7%)
-Should they win, the Chiefs +59 point differential (to this point in the season) would be the 4th-lowest of any Super Bowl victor. It pains me to say it but should that happen, it would be Andy’s (and Spags!) best coaching job ever.
Get in here and do your thing. And you folks we haven’t seen in some time, please do drop by and say hello. We’d love to see you!
Thank you Sharky!
He has already paid for the first quarter win. THAT’S SOME RESPONSIBLE GAMBLORING.
Refund the money and ask for larger bills if you win the second quarter
Still need to paythe winners for my work football pool. I’m a shitty commissioner
If this keeps up Trump is gonna declare tariffs on Philadelphia during half time
THESE CHIEFS I CALL THEM SNUFFELUPAGUS BECAUSE ONCE BARKLEY SHOWED UP THE BIRD MOVED BEYOND THEM
Sorry I’m rusty
THIS GUY PORKY I CALL HIM AN OVERACHIEVING WOMAN IN THE WORKPLACE BECAUSE HE’S APOLOGIZING FOR PERFORMANCE DESPITE DOING A GOOD JOB
Et tu, BLEERGH?
BLEEERGH!!!
Didn’t know they were a double agent.
Chiefs need some help. Call a secret weapon
“I am The Shoveler. I shovel well.”
After you sleep for 17 hours straight, your flu/pneumonia/common cold is at 10% of what it was before you nodded off.
Lesson: Say YES to dangerous drugs
That’s your response to everything
Fuck & Yeah !
My mother was already set to declare jihad on Coffeemate for the nutritional content; that commercial just sealed the deal.
Last commercial brought to you by Vivid productions.
Wait, the one with all the kids? I mean, sure some of them were
Wings on the Smoker air fryer thingy
THESE CHIEFS I CALL THEM NOT DEANNA FAVRE BECAUSE THEY ARE HURTING FROM THE D
I did miss this place
Or, it’s Meek Mill after a night with Puff Daddy; hurting from the D
No longer calm. Screaming at tv
Umm… this is becoming incredible.
God damned right!
Lead has to be MOAR than 25 points at the half before I even think of being optimistic
Never forget 21-3
“Why is that?”
–Kyle S.
https://doorfliesopen.com/2025/02/05/feeling-hate-in-its-natural-state-wednesday-hate-week/
Only once in NFL history has a QB thrown a pick six in a superbowl and still won.
God damn I hate you kyle Shanahan
How that motherfucker still gets jobs in the NFL is beyond me,
I believe we discussed that earlier this week.
I called a 38-31 Iggles win But knowing my luck, I’m sure “It was 24- 0 at the the half” will become the new “it was 28-3”
For future reverence the Youtube TV feed is like a minute later than Tubi.
I was wondering why the neighbors were cheering a minute before the first touchdown.
yeah they Lead the league in DELAY
if atching on a TV/stick you may change a setting for slighter less delay in the stream options with the 3 vertical dots
Pft, Jesus can’t come up with his own songs? What a hack
I don’t think Depeche Mode wrote that song for that purpose.
He did but they are mostly a combination of Yiddish and ancient arabic, so they won’t translate well to modern audiences
OH HEY 17-0 IS THE SAME AS 7-0 IN SHARKY’S POOL EVERYONE BE COOL FOR SEVEN MINUTES AND LEAVE THE SCORE AS IS AND I’LL STOP TYPING IN ALL CAPS MAYBE
Go my brother
“I just met a girl named Cooper Dejean.”
-D. Bowie, lyrics amended
OH YES. FUCK ME SIDEWAYS THE REAL.WHITE JESUS
What the fuck if this score holds, Spam wins another quarter of the squares pool. Unacceptable.
I disagree verbally and later in writing
Oh hell yeah De Jean Genie!
Mahomes looking more like Mamotelroom.
Brought to you by State Farm.
Is this real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
Fun Fact: De Jean means The Pants in Spanish
YEAH
cautiously optimistic, Beerguy chimes in…
We might be witnessing something…
Remind me again, did whyeagleswhy ever come to this site?
Or was there a name change?
Yes, and then he got married and moved to Australia. Now let us never speak of him again.
Oh snap was there some drama?
Oh, no, just haven’t seen him since.
He’s busy down under.
Yes he was a founding commentist.
I just slept for 17 hours straight, powered by prescription purple drank, an antibiotic the size of a horse pill, a fistful of opiates, and some Jim Beam.
*Oliver Reed’s ghost nods
I was amazed that I woke up alive.
Maybe this is heaven
With an KC-PHI SB? Fuck no. I’m still in this hideous mortal coil.
That’s a good pull (not you, Oliver Reed’s ghost, who is taking a pull from heaven whiskey)
War On Drugs playing into the commercial, more of this
Ok, two Chiefs field goals before halftime and I can win a sharkbait square quarter for the first fucking time ever.
IT’S FUN YOU SHOULD TRY
Haven’t smoked a cig, have smoked weed and am on 3rd btl of wine. All is chill now
geaux birds
Dude, kick. WTF
Ok, but no need waste a fucking timeout there. JFC
And of course BLEEERGH has to have a moment in the spotlight.
“Back shoulder throw” in my head to the tune of “Pink Pony Club” and ask me how many beers I’ve had because it’s some and it’s gonna get smore
I ate more than half these wings before I realized they’re all drumettes, no flats.
Developing theories on what they’re doing with the flats.
Those rascals.
the flats are immune to bird flu, and they’re all getting saved for the 1%ers
I can’t explain why, this made me fucking lose it
FUCK YOU KING CHARLES
Local DFO User: “I wish for Tom Brady to never play in another super bowl every again!”
[Monkey Paw curls]
“Seal sealed the deal last night during the Super Bowl!”
-One of the mainstream news headlines you’ll see tomorrow. I’m sorry.
I was really on the fence about watching today, but I hooked up the turkey fryer for wings and legs and drank a fewskis, and then I remembered DFO and you know the drill.
Porky!
WILLKOMMEN
Pour que, Porky?!
So the Brits don’t really have commercial breaks. MJD and team are just breaking down plays and shit. It’s confusing but also awesome.
We need an AI TV feature to add little name tags to celebrities in cameos, so I can angrily turn the feature off and continue to complain that I dont recognize any of them.
Hurts is a double agent or has double vision.
Ngl, Seal seal made me laugh
Oh, I almost forgot:
Gentlemen.
WHERE
And with that unfortunate interception fart, HTFYD BOYEEEEZZZ!
There he is!
Yay?
Lolololol, that was supposed to be an exclamation point. But this is funnier, fat fingers for the win!
Lmao Seal as a seal. Alright. It’s stupid as hell. And I’m all in.
A Seal Mountain Dew ad wasn’t on my bingo card for this, but sure, why the hell not
…nor was the phrase “Thanks, Snoop and Tahmmy”
NO ONE DENIES THIS
The Buble bubly ads are kinda cute.
RIP Seal, eaten by orcas offscreen
That means Heidi Klum is single!
Also, her daughter will likely need some comforting as well
Ooh, I have another….
This girl Heidi Klum right here i call a killer whale because they were super popular in the 90s and they likey have Seal DNA in their stomach
Ok good arm punt Hurts
Elway used to do this but with his foot.
Jesus. If Eliot didn’t suck