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Sexy Friday – 20250516

Mr. Ayo

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TGIF! I need a second nap already thanks to that “lunch” at the winery. Also, happy Leafs Elimination Day to all that celebrate!

Word Count Filler Time

Hey, we got some lawyers here, so here’s a few funny transcripts.

Judge: Have you been drinking alcohol?
Defendant: Uh-huh
Judge: Had you?
Lawyer: Answer is audibly.
Judge: Had you been drinking alcohol that day?
Defendant: Audibly.

Judge: How do you plead, guilty or not guilty?
Defendant: I’m guilty as hell.
Judge: Let the record reflect the defendant is guilty as hell.

Lawyer: Officer, at this point did you consider him to be a suspect in the homicide?
Officer: No. I really did not have enough intelligence to make that decision.

Lawyer: I take it you helped milk the cows?
Defendant: I milked them.
Lawyer: Did you help with breeding at all?
Defendant: The bulls did the breeding. I couldn’t do that.

Lawyer: What about the research?
Witness: I don’t think there’s any research on that. There’s a logical hunch that may be true, but I know of no research study that would support that.
Lawyer: What about just common sense?
Witness: Well, I am not here using common sense. I’m here as an expert.

Lawyer: Now, Doctor, which way would a person fall after receiving a twelve-gauge shotgun blast to the chest?
Witness: Down.

Folks, never go on record.

Click here to get to commenting

Sexy Time

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Bogdanski

https://share.google/gm1TI5NH4CoMDCBGB

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Bogdanski

https://share.google/pGaokxcTn6llAuHvz

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Bogdanski

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Bogdanski

Arrested Development GIFcomment image

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Bogdanski

To anyone still looking at this post: I’m trying to find out how to properly post a pic or a gif or a video and am sick of doing it on the current page cuz I fuck it up more often than not. I figured i can play around here and maybe get it. Doubt it, cuz I always fuck it up

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Bogdanski

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rockingdog

Found a funny:

Reminder, the New York Knicks have not lost a playoff series since Tracy Morgan vomited on the court at Madison Square Garden

5
Mr. Ayo

Woah, save this for Sunday sailor.

1
yeah right

Back in 1979 I moved from the high desert in California to the Quad Cities. Moline Illinois to be precise and just coming from California had me a little knowledge of Mexican food.

I tried to introduce my stoner qc buddies to Mexican food and they settled on…

Microwave frozen burritos from 7-11.

I’m still not sure I succeeded in my task.

I guess I wouldn’t turn one down.

5
SonOfSpam

Watching “Almost Famous” on some random HBO channel, damn what a great movie. And the music playing throughout is just spectacular for those of us of a certain age.

And the characters are completely believable and relatable. Anyway.

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yeah right

I agree. I love a storyline where everyone has a at least one redeemable value.

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SonOfSpam

Other than people currently in the Trump orbit, people are complicated and some combo of good and bad.

1
yeah right

All of my real life mingling with human beings over the last 5 years has been amazing.

Just don’t be a dick is basic rule #1

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SonOfSpam

Fo fucking sho, it’s so simple

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Brick Meathook

https://ibb.co/84fmgtyf

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yeah right

Woo!

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2Pack

…

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Doktor Zymm

I think we can all agree that this is astoundingly cringe

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SonOfSpam

Like when Flanders played a tape for Homer of the Christian band “AD/BC” and the song “Kindly Deeds, Done For Free” except Flanders is charming and Poso is a fucking traitorous asshole who should be fired into the sun.

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Doktor Zymm

Exactly!

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Brick Meathook

.

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2Pack

I’m also here as an expert. And I opine that lady number 3 looks like a lot of fun.

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Jimbo

I get it, she’s running in a swing district. Good for her.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/virginia-candidate-swinger-yvonne-rorrer-b2750636.html

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ballsofsteelandfury

I think the biggest reveal is that she’s married to a Republican

2
fleshwound_NPG

a democrat trying to appeal to a republican? NEVER

2
fleshwound_NPG

1990s: ah, indiana and new york…hicks vs knicks in a big playoff series in the nba. but first, lemme play that new expansion of the doom pc game franchise. hey, there’s a new mechwarrior pc game as well. also hearing mike judge is working on a new cartoon called “king of the hill”. a guy named kennedy jr. is doing something stupid that will get people killed

2025: RETVRN

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Senor Weaselo

/Door flies open to show a Yankee cap on my head and a Knicks bandana around my wing-wang.

Greetings from not currently on 7th Avenue which would be an absolute madhouse right now!

Good. Fucking. Sports night.

https://youtu.be/YHt7zKc3YiA?si=AKZKFrh_3cw74phg

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Jimbo

Good jerb eliminating those pesky Celtics.

1
SonOfSpam

As a Lakers fan, I salute you.

(fucks off to the beach and forgets about basketball til October)

1
WCS

I see Joe Mazzulla’s probably not winning back-to-back NBA titles.

NAWT FACKIN FAAAIHHHHHH

I feel dirty for supporting BAWHSTAHN, but see how quickly it will infect one’s sensibilities.

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Brick Meathook

Pratt & Whitney R-4360 Wasp Major cylinder display cutaway
Smithsonian Udvar-Hazy Annex, Chantilly VA, 3 July 2022

The R-4360 was “cross valved,” meaning that the intake valve opened just before the exhaust valve closed when the piston was at top-dead-center on the exhaust stroke. This blew relatively cool turbo-pressurized fuel-rich air across and out the exhaust port. This served two purposes: It completed the scavenging of exhaust gases out of the cylinder in preparation for the intake stroke, and it helped cool the exhaust valve, which was the hottest component on the engine and the part most susceptible to thermal failure, which could be catastrophic.

https://ibb.co/KzpWKkdH

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Mr. Ayo

Yeah, interference engines are prone to death.

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Brick Meathook

This wasn’t an interference engine (the piston could never touch the valves) but instead were unique in that both valves were slightly open simultaneously for a few degrees at the end of the exhaust stroke and beginning of the intake stroke. Only an engine with a positive pressure charged intake manifold can do this. For the valve cooling benefit the flight engineers would set the fuel mixture to “full rich” because unburnt fuel acted as a coolant. The unburned fuel would then ignite when it hit the oxygen of the outside air upon exhausting. Flames exiting the stack meant the engine was achieving maximum cooling, and was a design feature.

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Mr. Ayo

Bro, those valves can, and will, interfere. At great cost no doubt.

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Jimbo

Banning things totally works, like drugs for example.

https://www.newsweek.com/pornography-ban-us-bill-2071409

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Mr. Ayo

How is this not an Onion article?

3
Doktor Zymm

It was in project 2025 so not surprised

3
WCS

The comment about VPN companies bankrolling this makes a bit of sense.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

He’s been trying this since 2022. It ain’t getting support from enough Republicans.

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Brick Meathook

They love their porn.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Everyone does.

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WCS

Well, that’s an interesting twist…

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Mr. Ayo

Good job Playoff Bob.

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Mr. Ayo

Doesn’t seem to have changed much in size

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is what happens when you walk into a plastic surgeon’s office and say “Gimme the Nancy Reagan.”

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Mr. Ayo

Yeah, but she doesn’t suck that much dick. /allegedly

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Mr. Ayo

She should be happy. That was a terrible statue.

2
Jimbo

They kind of nailed it.

Screenshot-2025-05-16-at-6.47.33 PM
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Doktor Zymm

I wonder what the burned down one looked like?

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Mr. Ayo

Probably like a pile of ashes

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Imagine Melania Trump, but she’s been doused in gasoline and set on fire.

[sighs]

It’s fun to dream.

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Mr. Ayo

So does Donald, but nobody wants to talk about that either.

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Gumbygirl

Sawed off at the ankles and removed. Don’t threaten us with a good time!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This Celtics performance has caused me to lose my appetite.

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Gatoraids

potato famine will do that to you

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Mr. Ayo

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS OUR SUFFERING!

1
Jimbo

Nawt Fahaaer or whatever.

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Doktor Zymm

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Don T

🤭
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Jimbo

I hate that I know that these are the Pawn Stars.

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Doktor Zymm

Ditto. Why is my brain storing THAT of all things?

3
Don T

Lowball porn nudges me towards going full Fanon.

1
fleshwound_NPG

bears fanbase if you apply the “add 50 pounds” filter to that pic

5
Doktor Zymm

Needs more mustache

1
ballsofsteelandfury

I’m close to finishing Sacré Bleu by Christopher Moore and let me just tell you that I would be besties with Comte Henri Marie Raymond de Toulouse-Lautrec-Monfa.

Such a great character!

2
SonOfSpam

Just finished off Fool last night.

Let me rephrase that.

Anyway, best version of King Lear I’ve read so far, much better than that Shakespeare fairy.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Incredible selection this week!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Death

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Mr. Ayo

Death

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ballsofsteelandfury

Great minds

4
WCS

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fleshwound_NPG

balls ripped off. then death.

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herodotus450

The permit issued… did not authorise “the use of the image of the archaeological sites for the advertising of commercial brands for private profit,”

Well what did they think was gonna happen in a fucking youtube video then?

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Doktor Zymm

I think we should take all the influencers, lock them in a house and tell them it’s a reality show but not record anything and just leave them there trying to out influence each other forever

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SonOfSpam

Can we eventually do something with carbon monoxide, or is that too German?

4
Doktor Zymm

I kinda think it would be more interesting to see how long it takes them to figure it out and go all Lord of the Flies

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tell them you’ll only feed them if they hit a viewership target, but since you aren’t broadcasting anything they will never be able to reach it.

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King Hippo

TOO PAINLESS

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SonOfSpam

Death

(Old school, beheaded on the pyramid, head bounces down the steps)

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Jimbo

Yes! A sacrifice to the Mayan gods.

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Brick Meathook

https://ibb.co/932BHGqP

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scotchnaut

The Canadians did it better, Velvet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa9nN3G2CSg&ab_channel=CowboyJunkiesVEVO

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Brick Meathook

This is who they were trying to imitate:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLW8VKWvWuA

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scotchnaut

“Oh, you sweet, sweet submarine child.”

-Nickleback

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Brick Meathook

They’re talking about Canadian peace-keeper diesel powered British hand-me-down submarines, not American nuclear powered world destroying submarines. There’s a subtle difference here.

Last edited 11 months ago by Brick Meathook
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scotchnaut

Worst recovery since the Alligator in…?

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Brick Meathook

Naw, you weren’t that bad.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Where on Sunday?!?

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Brick Meathook

Let’s go to Mo’s. If it’s crowded (depends on the time it might not be bad at 11 AM or so) there’s several other places right nearby.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Cool. See ya there!

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Brick Meathook

I look forward to plotting a whole bunch of killings articles.

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DJ TAJ

I heard 12 o’clock so that is when I arrive.

Gost-face-2
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Doktor Zymm

I’m going to purposely misinterpret the lodge number as the year and see this as a vision from the future. Amazing that Fedex and the American flag both still exist in 2050! Not surpised by the lawyer though, there will always be skeevy personal injury attorneys

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Brick Meathook

Interesting it says Westchester because technically it’s Playa del Rey. I’m going to have to send some letters about this. Actually I think I’ll go join it (it’s across the street). There a Masonic lodge and a Knights of Columbus basically next door.

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Jimbo

Do the Elks have to wear a funny hat like Fred and Barney?

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ballsofsteelandfury

A buddy from work joined the Elks in his area. I bought him that exact hat so he could wear it to Taco Tuesday at the lodge.

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Doktor Zymm

What’s even the point of joining one of those things if you don’t get to wear a crazy hat? Bonus points if you also get to drive tiny cars in parades

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Brick Meathook

I belong to several organizations just for the hat. For instance, I’m now a 20-year member of the American Legion, but I like to brag that the only meeting I ever attended was my induction ceremony. I will visit occasionally to go to the bar for cheap drinks.

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Mr. Ayo

Oh really, comrade?

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Brick Meathook

Soviet hats! My veteran’s era we beat the shit out of them without firing a shot and they quit being a country!

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Mr. Ayo

Love that mug!

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Brick Meathook

Us and the WWII guys are the only two US military groups since 1945 who won our wars.

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Brick Meathook

I joined at Palisades #283 and was a member for 18 years until I shifted to Hollywood #43. This was during the run up to the Iraq War and I wanted a veteran’s hat to wear to protest marches (a veteran in an anti-war protest march is untouchable).

The Palisades post is in the heart of Pacific Palisades and was one of the only buildings that didn’t burn down. Everything around it burned yet it was somehow untouched.

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Redshirt

.

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Doktor Zymm

I think I have this exact meme saved on my phone. Gotta love Fryposting

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Mr. Ayo

Two (2) soggies for the Panteras in the 1st? That’s not good enough morans.

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Doktor Zymm

Recently I was too lazy to change the radio station when some commercials came on and I was introduced to the world of Top Dog Law radio ads. Apparently they have a following and there’s even entire youtube playlists
https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1PkLgxd6AUtkn561jNDykQv7Tj1_2dbo

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WCS

There’s one in Pittsburgh. I thought it was confined to just here?

ARE OTHERS BEING EXPOSED TO THIS TERROR?!?

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Doktor Zymm

I think they’re national, or at least that’s what 20 seconds of googling made me think

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blaxabbath

The “there’s no shame in being Saul Goodman” legal advertising is out of control.

Why doesn’t my insurance company outlaw these ads anywhere in view of a public roadway.

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scotchnaut

If a multi-national company that spends 100’s of millions in marketing approaches you to perhaps distribute their product (exclusively) in your neck of the woods-do you go with the blank face or do you laugh manically while petting your imaginary cat?

/I value your input

Last edited 11 months ago by scotchnaut
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Doktor Zymm

Is it Amway?

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scotchnaut

Might be even bigger than those fellas.

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herodotus450

Amtrak!?

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scotchnaut

[snorts]

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Doktor Zymm

Saudi-Aramco-Trumpcoin?

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Mr. Ayo

Yeah, get paid. Then take part of that to talk to a therapist about accepting money from the devil. You’ll still be ahead.

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ballsofsteelandfury

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Jimbo

I don’t much about lawyers but this guy will help if you get caught with guns and cocaine.

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Doktor Zymm

I would have thought that’s a bit too niche for billboard ads but hey, if he’s getting the business then good for him

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Doktor Zymm

I really want to know what that cow case was all about.

Been a busy week. Turns out I’m not all that good at writing production code yet, although I suspect I’m loads better at it than most people who have only been doing it for a few months. But anyway, I didn’t break anything important, the fixes were all quick and tiny (“I know ALL about quick and tiny” -D. Favre), I learned a lot, and everything got done on time so it’s all good other than me feeling like I should have done better and hoping I didn’t annoy people too much. Cheers to that!

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Mr. Ayo

Everyone can do production coding. It’s the users that have to debug it.

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Doktor Zymm

That reminds me, I can join the alpha for a game I kickstarted, I just have to decide if I have the patience for that

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BugEyedBoo

A monkey can do it, if you can keep its hands clean.

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