Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned [in bed].
Maya Angelou
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with a nap, or just lying in bed for a bit.
Got nothing interesting to ramble on about this week. or really any week. Didn’t get out golfing, no lacrosse, didn’t really go anywhere, and it wasn’t the warmest weekend, like 15C, so didn’t get much done outside either other than cutting the lawn. And honestly, kinda like my boring, nothing going on life.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Mrs. Horatio drafts this week, saying that she wants to keep this week in Puerto Rico going forever and never go back to work.
Thanks a lot, Don.
Horatio Cornblower
Since my 43rd is coming up this Friday… I think I’ll take this guy’s advice…
2Pack
Will someone tell the Packers to take one for the team and end this nonsense? As much as I enjoy watching Pittsburgh and the Steelers Nation be held in this perpetual existential nightmare, even they don’t deserve Qaron to darken their doorstep.
Redshirt
Moar like Mary Lou Re-ally should have used an Uber.
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2025/may/27/mary-lou-retton-gymnast-dui-arrest
Jimbo
She appears to have issues, it’s a shame. Hope she gets the help she needs. But there is no excuse for driving drunk. Or being in West Virginia.
Gumbygirl
Went down a genealogy rabbit hole today (beats workin) and found there’s a good chance I’m related to King Henry II (12th century British dude).
Of course, I’m not related to one of his legit kids.
Related to this bastard: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Longesp%C3%A9e,_3rd_Earl_of_Salisbury
SonOfSpam
See? It happens!
Now, let’s discuss future marriage alliances…
We just got back home from a week in San Juan and it is a frigid 63 degrees here and I no longer understand how people can live in these conditions.
Horatio Cornblower
Sharkbait
Introduced Youngest Skull Fracture boy to calamari. (wifey hates pretty much all life that exists in water) It’s been a revelation for him. Are scallops next? Not sure what to put on this slippery/slimy slope.
scotchnaut
My son was eating escargot when he was like 3. One of my asshole brothers told him they were snails, and Ben just shrugged his shoulders and said
” delicious snails.” We were so proud!
Gumbygirl
kinda want
its one way to get andy reid interested in basketball
fleshwound_NPG
I saw a film once called Slurping Sabrina but I don’t think it was her.
SonOfSpam
Oh shit, Canes are back!
Mr. Ayo
Oh no, FEMA is not ready
Jimbo
Bond. James Bond.
Brick Meathook
Two fun things today
1) A reporter asked Trump about “TACO” which is a finance-guy invention that stands for “Trump Always Chickens Out” vis-a-vis tariffs, which is objectively true, and Trump had never heard of that (because his sycophantic underlings could never tell him) and got ALL his feelings in a tizzy.
2) Then a federal court ruled today that his tariff-a-g0-go doings were illegal, because we’re not in any kind of national emergency (duh) which would necessitate his bypassing Congress, so all tariffs are off immediately.
It’s fun because he was told twice, in two different situations, that he’s a powerless bitch, and I’m not sure anything makes him more cranky. Maybe tonight we get the ragestroke that would spark universe-wide celebrations!
SonOfSpam
You may want to sit down for this one.
Jameis Winston threw an INT on his very first pass at Giants camp earlier this week.
scotchnaut
Plot twist: the Defense wasn’t even on the field at the time.
LemonJello
Just a pro-tip:
Arguing with a 9-1-1 operator does not actually increase the speed at which responders can drive, nor will yelling “HURRY UP” rather than listening to important instructions help, either. As many times as you want to scream “HURRY,” stoplights don’t care (or even know). Also, teleportation doesn’t exist yet, so yes, it requires time for responders to get there.
WCS
Ciao tutti
2Pack
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Funeral went well. Family is healing. Falcons are Falconing.
Redshirt
My Friday night ride…
2Pack
Mason Rudolph came up on stage at a Trump rally today.
So there’s another guy who can get fucked. Preferably by Kid Rock.
SonOfSpam
So we definitely know Myles Garrett wasn’t lying about what he heard.
Mr. Ayo
I had hoped he misheard or something, but nope. Myles had the right idea (ripping the guy’s head off).
SonOfSpam
The only thing this [sexy friday] post is missing is the jump to comments link
Game Time Decision
Stupid sexy donuts
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Sexy Friday Adjacent?
Redshirt
It happens
Brick Meathook
On the small road I take to get to the farm where I ride, one of the homes along the way is offering “HAWG”
It looked like they were stacking firewood when I drove by, maybe a pig roast? Or setting a Harley on fire?
Doktor Zymm
“Hot Agricultural Women Gangbang” is my best guess.
scotchnaut
/looking at mustard green recipes on YoobToob
-Guy uses shit ton of bacon grease to fry the greens
Comment: “So nice to see someone showing off the healthy side of southern cooking!”
/I don’t think it was sarcastic
scotchnaut
This probably should have been on sexy Friday, but I was on a boat.
A clandestine view at where bananacakes come from:
Doktor Zymm
Final day of little league season and being in charge of snack bar. Except both kid’s made their age’s all star team and their regular season team made the playoffs. Yes, humble brag (not due to me, i have <0 athletic ability), but we need to coordinate practice/scrimmages up to 20 miles away. Nothing but kid’s dirt football for us the next month and a half. Boo hoo
Bogdanski
Fish was caught and beer was drank. Excellent day overall.
Jimbo
Jimbo
The Women’s World Series used to be Golden Girls international fan club meetings
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
Excellent work. I’d encourage the addition of jalapeno peppers and avocado, but ’tis a fine burrito.
I also love that Mr. Ayo is driving around in McLarens and Ferraris on weekends but has a stove that Todd Marinovich wouldn’t even deign to steal the wiring from.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
During reading of this masterpiece when you arrived at cooking the sausage I rose from my desk walked into my room and smoked a bowl. Then I walked out to the kitchen and made myself a vodka drink then returned an finished this fine tour of culinary delights with drink in hand.
Well done sir and thank you for the inspiration. It is 8:20 in the morning. I’m high and I have a drink going. The beginnings of another weird day.
DJ TAJ
Here’s another great seasoning trick, and you can use it in both the burrito and the vodka drink.
Brick Meathook
What’s the best thing about drinking brake fluid?
You can stop any time you want!
scotchnaut
yay, we have a new vacuum, how nice
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Jimbo
The Horatio’s are wonderful people and I just wish Lowratio could have made it to Baltimore.
ArmedandHammered
I understand he declined because he already has more crabs than he can handle.
SonOfSpam
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
NOTE banner image from here
Hey 2pk, how come no one is talking about using metal swarm tech vs drone swarms?
Metal Storm not swarm, mount it on tanks. Was watching a S.Korean made WWIII series and heard this line as Chinese fighter planes are getting shot down “The Chinese make such great fireworks” Ouch.
Thibs getting fired is hilarious-the best comment I’ve seen?
“The Knicks are the first team to be built to beat the Celtics but not built to win the NBA Championship.”
In NFL news, Jim Marshall has passed away. I’m surprised to find out he wasn’t in the hall of fame, because while I knew he was someone who was regarded as someone who should have gone in, I could have sworn he was one of those 15 or so players who went in 2020. That sucks.
Looks like he’ll join the likes of Alex Karras, Ken Stabler, and Cliff Branch as someone who the hall dropped the ball with.
He was around before sacks were a recorded thingy but estimates give him 125+. Given that he played 20 seasons, I wonder if he’s regarded as a compiler?
Karras has some gamblor stank on him, doesn’t he?
Also no one’s really forgiven him for ‘Webster’
No, that was Emmanuel Lewis’ cologne.
You’d think that starring in a sitcom with the black progenitor of Lowratio would offset the scandal.
So catching on up on last week, I don’t think I viewed a post since last week’s draft, so I read last week’s column as well.
Redshirt and Fronkenshteen, I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your fathers. My condolences
I did not see this coming. https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/45443832/sources-knicks-firing-tom-thibodeau-coach-5-seasons
Also, he should either shave it all off or wear a hat..
yes should just commit to the full Donald Pleasance and wait for the next Halloween reboot
I ain’t quite to the level of baldness yet, but I’m getting there.
I guess I can no longer consider him an inspiration
It was pretty funny hearing Knicks fan John McEnroe mention Thibodeau’s name (tangentially; he was talking about Derrick Rose) during the French Open coverage because I don’t think he’d heard the news yet.
UConn Twitter is in a panic that the Knicks will hire Dan Hurley to replace him.
Because I’m sure Hurley is anxious to give up $9 million a year at a place where he’s worshipped as a God to go work for Jim Fucking Dolan.
Alcaraz serving up some Spanish bagels at Roland Garros.
Folks in both FF leagues can expect renewal emails. Those who were promoted are Duke LaCrosse, Gumbygirl, Bugeyedboo, Boris have all had their invites sent.
BeerguyRob, Don T, Sharky, and myself have all been removed from TWBS and been invited to Lowratio.
Time to consider team names! I’m thinking maybe “Joe Biden’s Robot Clone”
That’s a good one! I’m leaning towards Tush Pushy Galore.
Workshopping this one:
PeeWee German’s Cuck Chair
Mrs. Shapiro’s Mop
Raccoon With A Meth Pipe
I just tried the link, it said my invitation is invalid.
I blame Brick.
I am no longer the commish of TWBS league but I did send invites to that one before I self destructed my team
Who is the new commissioner?
Me and whoever else wants to be co-commish
In case he dies you see.
Once bitten, twice shy!
Last year’s champ?
I sent a new link to your gmail account, let me know if that does not work
I’m in, thanks!
Hate to bug ya, but I think my team was deactivated. Is there a spot open for me this year?
I am no longer in charge of anything as I suck. If you were in one last year then Lemonjello is the man to talk to.
We should fact check this with Brick.
That was a brilliant plan, plus the damage to the bridge today, Poot-poot is really having a horrible no good week.
Indeed. However, the demonstration of how effective drones can be in blowing shit up coupled with the new emphisis on SMRs makes me think investing in iodine pill manufacturers might be a good idea.
Yeah. I mean, we nuked Japan TWICE for Pearl Harbor. They’re calling this the Russian Pearl Harbor….
Over/under? 3?
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/jun/03/rijksmuseum-condom-exhibition?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=bluesky&CMP=bsky_gu
“A 200-year-old illustrated condom will go on display with Dutch golden age masters in Amsterdam this week, after the 19th-century “luxury souvenir” became the first-ever contraceptive sheath to be added to the Rijksmuseum’s art collection.
The condom, which was probably made of a sheep’s appendix circa 1830, is thought to have come from an upmarket brothel in France, most likely in Paris. It features an erotic etching depicting a partially undressed nun pointing at the erect genitals of three clergymen, as well as the phrase Voila, mon choix (“There, that’s my choice”).”
Just so much to unpack here…
Gotta stalk Unihertz on Kickstarter, Titan 2 is supposed to start this month and I need me a 5G phone with a pkb
My boomer azz understands very little of that. But I wish you well and hope you get that good 5G juju that you seek…
pkb = physical key board?
Yup. I like to spell things correctly and use punctuation so need that sweet, sweet, actual keyboard
I flail around on my phone’s keyboard, and my daughter just laughs at me.
I’ve decided that proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation are tools of the borgwazee, and I ain’t playing there game. So their!
Makes me nostalgic for my old blackberry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bw6wY1WUSeg
I’m sure some of yinz are familiar with Simon. As someone with a fear of heights, yeah, pass.
The engineering for that bridge is almost as impressive as the engineering behind Marika’s bras.
that Bettman video from a few days ago was a good watch.
thanks for posting
Not nearly that high, but high enough to kill you if you fell off.
https://www.adventuresonthegorge.com/aerial/bridge-walk
Way back when, mid-80’s, a couple of friends and I snuck through the chain-link fence that was there at the time and walked that catwalk. This was before that business was in place, so the safety system at the time was “don’t fall off.”
lol teenage boys are so so stupid
(source: having been one)
That was early 20-something, but not a whole lot smarter, sure.
20-something men are definitely still teenagers. Probably til about 40.
Yeah, they say the brain isn’t fully developed until you’re 25. I’m thinking that’s just the girls.
I’m not sure if this is the right one, but when I was an idiot teenager I jumped off the highest part of the superstructure of this bridge (or its equivalent):
Shit man. I can’t even WATCH that.
Thanks GTD. And honestly, kinda like my boring, nothing going on life.
Is a sentiment I fully endorse. I try and go all out on Saturday so I can spend all Sunday in mental defilade. Too much action is way over rated. Uhmmm… unless it has a great rack…
i usually split the stuff between the days, so that I don’t need to get it all done in one day but also can feel like i did something useful both days, while still not doing much.
The Broom is headed to
MarikavilleNapoli?Plenty of room, great food, wonderful beaches, active night life…
Couple other attractions…
Couple…
Yes, I’ve heard the conditions are ideal for growing melons.
They certainly do well down there.