America is a culture of Bigness.
Perhaps it is a holdover from the incredible expanse of stolen unclaimed land that greeted European-extraction settlers so long ago. Maybe it’s the vast natural resources we ripped from the still-beating heart of the land and water found there.
Maybe we’re overcompensating for perceived shortcomings in…other areas. I mean, c’mon- our nation’s dong is a syphillis-ridden hellhole that just dangles flaccidly into the Atlantic.
Regardless, I’m not certain there has been a culture since the 4th Dynasty in Egypt that could have conceived of the Spruce Goose, the Super Big Gulp, or monster trucks, let alone made them cultural touchstones.
Jimmy Haslam knows this. Jimmy Haslam built his fortune on making truckstops into townships. Well, actually he built his fortune on his Daddy’s fortune and massive fraud. BUT THAT’S AMERICA TOO!
So when his shittyass parody of his football team found itself halfway through training camp with four goddawful quarterbacks, his reaction was quintessentially American: MORE!
John Madden (allegedly) said “If you have two quarterbacks, you actually have none.” Upon being told this, Haslam said “Okay, but what if you have FIVE quarterbacks?”
So now the Browns have re-signed Tyler “Snoop” Huntley. They still have all the other guys: Flacco, Pickett, Sanders, Gabriel, Dopey, Sneezy,
You may recall Huntley as the worst Pro Bowl selection in history and a living symbol of the Dolphins’ desperation last year after Tua liquified his brain (again).
GM Andrew Berry has assembled a Voltron of Suck, and I am Here For It.
-Vikings wideout Jordan Addison has been suspended for 3 games after pleading guilty to “wet reckless driving on a highway”- which is a tremendous way to say “pled down a DUI”. Given the inevitability of a suspension, this is probably a best-case scenario for the Vikings- he will miss the softest three-game stretch of the schedule (Bears, Falcons, Bengals) and come back once JJ McFuckface actually needs a legitimate WR2.
RANDOM RANKINGS: Oreo Varieties
- Double Stuf Oreo
- Oreo (a.k.a. “normal”, “single” or “missionary”)
- Peanut Butter Oreo
- Those little tiny oreos
- White Chocolate Covered Oreo
- Dark Chocolate Creme Oreo
- Fudge Covered Oreo
- Pretzel Oreo
- Birthday Cake Oreo
- Most Stuf
- “Golden” and similar not-chocolate Oreos
- Oreo Thins
We’re out of here tomorrow. I put off sending Litre’s drank until the last day just to find out USPS doesnt ship booze. So he’ll be getting a boring AZ return zip on his package (someday).
Not being easily accessible from the other states is the greatest thing about this place. Americans are the worst.
But they do ship “household goods” for future reference.
Grapeseed oil is my go to on custom claims!
I’ve heard some bad things about Americans lately.
Am back home from another dreaded day of goin’ places and doin’ stuff. We saw Joel Embiid at hotel in Santa Monica and then watched My Neighbor Tortoro. Catbus is cute!
No wonder everyone wants to be in LA!
A calm, slow night would be much appreciated.
Aw, kitty and bunny lurv each other
I apologize for not being login ined much as late. Did the link get sent out for the Freezer Vodka league?
I don’t think we have a draft date yet
Not that I’ve seen. I get notices every few days about joining the league, if I haven’t already. I went in and changed my team name and picture a month ago, at least.
I’m newly promoted from Lowratio, so I wasn’t sure what to do.
Gametimedecision is the commish
Of course, so were you.
Have you been getting the message from Yahoo to join if you haven’t already? I joined, because it was a new league. That’s when I changed my team name, and I can see the first week’s matchups. I’m playing Spam.
Nope. You haven’t missed anything yet.
Entertaining as usual Rev thank you for your work here Sir. And speaking of bigness…
Good God!!
I like that she has real people tan lines
Always a helpful clue in today’s AI cluttered view…
Do deep fried oreos count as a variety even though it’s a third party that does the frying?
In other news, I am so goddamn tired of the whole trans people in women’s athletics debate. It ignores how fucked up women’s sports has been since the beginning, in almost every sport the only reason there isn’t coed competition is for historical reasons, because men didn’t want women competing at all and were willing to accept letting them compete in their own competition to get them further away. Then they regulated the shit out of the women’s competitions, and implemented all sorts of fucked up gender testing. They’ve had underwear parades, genetic testing, hormone testing, and all sorts of other invasive testing that arbitrarily excludes people with various health conditions or forces them to take hormones or other medications that negatively impact their health. The men don’t have to do any of this shit, just doping tests. Even the women who pass all the tests might still get shit like Imane Khelif.
And now they want to add more of this crap, for kids too, when there aren’t all that many performance differences at the lower levels anyway and the differences that do exist are more likely the result of lower investment in women’s sports at a younger age anyway. For what? There are MAYBE a few hundred school-age kids who are transitioning and want to compete in school sports, and less than a dozen of those make it to championships. So we’re subjecting all women athletes to even MORE enhanced scrutiny and inspection, as well as influencing people’s votes just to be assholes to a handful of children.
Check out the history of track and field for a great example of everything I mentioned.
I’ve never had a deep fried oreo. They must be incredible. Unfortunately, in my advanced age I must resist the urge to seek them out.
They’re not as good as they sound unfortunately. Or maybe fortunately since you aren’t missing much and can enjoy the thought
Probably better grilled.
even more gender checking even beyond sports now with women in bathrooms at walmart where some poor masculine looking woman got gender checked and fired over protesting it.
I heard about that. If I’m ever in a toilet and some dudes bust in to harass someone for being tall or whatever I’m gonna go apeshit on them
I’d shoot to kill and say he was trying to rape.
Stand your ground laws don’t actually apply to women unfortunately, not that I’m ever in states with those laws anyway, but I would figure out something
Yep.
Now that white men, with generations of systematic advantages built into their birthright, are recognizing that ANOTHER group they cannot keep up with is non-repressed women, you better believe it is time to Make America Great Again.
Maybe sports should be played without fans. That would be true purity AND eliminate the CUSTOMER IS ALWAY RIGHT AND I NEVER TURN OFF THE TEE-VEE influence of these fat, limp-dicked, broke-ass losers who, at the end of the day, will never be the Man in the Arena.
Some sports the point is the spectacle and they’re up front about it, but yeah, the ones that bang on about ‘purity’ are pretty damn insufferable. Outside of chemistry, it’s good practice to be suspicious of anyone talking about purity
Non- repressed? Certainly not as repressed as a woman of color, but absolutely not treated equally, no matter how lily white her skin is.
BUT WHITE WOMEN STILL VOTED FOR TRUMP
I MEAN
Not this one. Or Zymm. Or my sister, sisters in law, nieces,, or any white woman I associate with.
Don’t pay any attention to me, I’m grouchy as fuck today! You guys are not the problem, I shouldn’t take my rage out on any of you.
Whelp, Rog has brought down the banhammer on smelling salts, so I guess Kittle & the boys are just going to have to go back to huffing poppers. ether & gold spray paint.
https://www.sfgate.com/49ers/article/49ers-george-kittle-considered-retirement-nfl-rule-20803840.php
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DM7qyaGxDmj/?igsh=MXU1ODBzbndoMnJhZQ==
What about the new Selena Gomez Oreos? Don’t know anything about em, but I assume they look young and fresh even though they’ve already been toungued by several Disney Channel producers and a couple Diddy associates.
Don’t forget that it kisses your ass just long enough to steal a kidney.
Lil’ and Lil’er WCS say they’re fine. I tend to agree; they’re fine.
I think the creme part has cinnamon in it?
Very vaguely. If it weren’t on the packaging, one may not notice at all.
Disrespecting the Oreo BIG Stuff
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O-9KLHalrA
Hope Jean Knight got a little something out of that…
Oreos Blizzard (or whatever equivalent on hand)
The last bookmark I added … to Favorites:
https://pdxfoodweeks.com/burger/2025
Every one has some sort of Satan’s jizz sauce mixture on it.
There is a vacancy in Ligue 2 FF. Come to the slums of DFO fantasy football!
/relegated by my own rules
We also need an alternate commish, ’cause I got a good feeling about this season.
Narrator’s voice: he will still be the commish next season
God dammit. I will do it. I am like Medvedev in Russia, just want a taste of power. Plus, I started this shit when TWBS had to go die on us.
Alternate Commish
How can one join said league? Asking for a friend.
Try this:
https://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/89303/invitation?key=b725b195f791a4e5&soc_trk=lnk&ikey=7a3d69ffa52feb40
It didn’t work.
Wait until you see what the autodraft does to you!
When I clicked the link I found out that I’m now a senior.
Congrats! When’s senior skip week?
Welcome! I’m going to be 65 next month, there’s no denying the senior citizen shit now. I’m on the downhill slide, wheeeee!
The Browns qb breakdown has me in stitches.
Which one is “Anal Oreo”?
3, 6, or 7?
Well, half of the first one, of course…
I like the Lemon creme Oreos and the Mint creme Oreos. Not together. Jebus wept, that would be a war crime.
Lemon and mint can work. In theory.
In theory, communism and fascism work.
As RTD pointed out, Cleveland actually has SIX!
You forgot Watson.
He included a photo of Groper Cleveland
How did I come to be the one contrarian dickhead on everything? Redshirt is a goddamn Ohio republican!
Anyway, I like Oreo thins. Not as much as chips ahoy thins, though. And in general the whimsical and seasonal flavors like tiramisu and birthday cake can fuck right the fuck off.
Fuck me. I got to my therapist at 5:40 and the instant I sat down in the waiting room I realized today’s appointment is at 7.
The Ghost of TWBS looks up from staring at a barista…
I house a package of Keeble elf cookies when I visit your country. Fudgee-Os or something like that
I did that yesterday.
Hey.
So, you like Fantasy Football? No?
Do you at least tolerate Fantasy Football? Meh?
Then you need to join the Lowratio League!
There’s ONE spot left! It could be yours.
Do it.
DOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT