Hey, best of luck to everyone in both DFO fantasy leagues except for Ayo, who can rot in hell. (why yes, he is my opponent this week) JK, Ayo-may your freezer always remain cold. Let’s get at it.
To The Games!
Fins/Colts:
Two teams on the precipice but one of them is no longer under the thumb of a pill-addled nepo man. Was that harsh? (I think that may have been harsh) There’s enough talent there for both teams to get over the hump but I think both coaches don’t survive the season. Daniel Jones will play behind a somewhat competent offensive line since, since ever? It won’t make any difference though-he’s been ruined in a way that only David Carr can truly understand.
Cards/Saints:
Wait a sec. Shouldn’t this unwatchable tilt be hidden in the late slate? Easier to hide it here? Ah, I get it now. New Orleans will be in QB hell all season, having to rely on Rattler or rookie Shough to guide them after Derek Carr’s retirement. I can’t see them getting to 4 wins.
Raiders/Pats:
Of all the second-year QB’s in the league, it seems that no one is under more pressure to succeed than Maye. Belichick is long gone but organizational malaise is still apparent with respect to the wr spot. A washed Diggs is your answer? All starters less than 6′ and under 200 pounds? The only receiver room that might be worse is TA DA! them Raiders.
Steelers/Jets:
“Revenge Game” narrative rears it’s ugly head. But, but Rodgers’ base personality is ‘petty dipshit’ though. It’s funny to me that Green Bay finally drafted a wr in the first round after Aaron left and that Pitt traded away Pickens as well. It’s as though GM’s unconsciously want The Precious One to fail.
Giants/Commies:
Welp, we’ll find out early how New York is going to fare in their division. If Daniels takes another leap forward in his progress the entire league will be on notice, never mind the NFC East. He is well-suited, given his running ability, to deal with the Giants pass rush so I can’t see Washington losing here.
Panthers/Jags:
Usually an afterthought, this is my pick for under-rated game of the day. The O/U sits at 46.5 as the defenses will struggle all year long and the respective offenses could be sneaky good.
Bengals/Browns:
Love that Cincy offense but that D will make too many games too close to call. Will Cleveland be the first team to dress 4 QB’s once Watson comes back? Make it happen, Browns.
Bucs/Falcons:
I think there’s a wild card spot available to each of the teams here so this tilt has outsized importance for the participants. Don’t sleep on that Tampa offense if Mayfield can continue on the path he forged last year.
Give me all of your good stuff.
The Jets appear competent. Fields is running around with reckless abandon. I hope he keeps his head.
Russell Wilson is still allergic to handing the ball off inside the 5
Wee Kyler, low man wins!
call of Duty or limbo he’s your man
Sk8erboi’s straight ahead running style is not translating well at the NFL level just yet.
Not so much illegal hands to the face as bro nawt fastening his chinstrap and having his pads pop his helmet. Lame
A new Fantasy football strategy: Just pick up guys on teams playing the Dolphins. I don’t think they’re going to win this year. lol
Danny Dimes unleashed like Barkely, playin on giants and droppping the 100 lb weights on your soul
Fox Injury Music is still the same.
2019: Tank for Tua!
2025: Tank with Tua!
ELITE Charmslinger 4th down conversion!
Did the Buccs actually show up to the game? Did they move it to the late window or something?
GatorAIDS just having the bestest weekend, poor bastard
the purge of even low expectations is exhilarating. that and the excuse to day drink
tho i am the the point of rooting for red zone commercials
if CBS makes a 9th NCIS show, they get the 10th one free
Patriots are in control. The swamp has been drained.
Hey, itsa DeMario!

Dolphin trainer needs to slap Tua head around a few times like an old TV to get better reception
Have they checked his back to rule out that as the problem?
Another Tua turnover. Fuck!Get that brain damaged idiot out of here. BRING ON ZACK WILSON.
Tuarnover.
Cuban MILFs need their new hero!!
Commies defender penalized for doing the Karelin throw.
https://www.reddit.com/r/FightLibrary/comments/12cgoa2/aleksandr_karelin_picking_up_a_200_pound_man_who/
TUAFUMBLE
You may find this surprising but turns out there are Raiders fans in LA
Day passes are a thing you know.
As as percentage, how many of them have ankle monitors?
The Dolphins starting offensive line lasted 3 plays in 2025 before a replacement was needed. We already had a Tuaception. The Corners are making Daniel Jones look elite. BURN IT ALL DOWN TO THE FUCKING GROUND!
THIS CHAAAAARRRRRMING VEP!
STOP THE COUNT!
The Colts are picked up on the Dolphins not being able to play press coverage, and are carving up their zone.
Daniel Jones is looking elite, FFS
if danny dimes is carving you up, miami…
Elite hand off by Flacco.
You can’t teach that-that’s God-given talent shining through.
Good play by the Steelers before the end of the quarter, but it was inexcusable to go out of bounds without even being touched.
Goal line stand by the Bungles? In this economy?
Nevermind, back to normal!
I didn’t know the Saints had a manila envelope kit!
Well now that we are back in full season swing, I see the WordPress log in hassles have come with the package.
Live shot of Cleveland:
Education?
7:32 minutes and counting with not giving up a score. It’s more than I could’ve hoped for with this defense.
Pete Hegseth says that Jets’ bomb just completely destroyed the Steelers defense.
def not watching football, it gets in the way of his drinking time
BLEERGH continues their feud against the Bengals.
Giants only down 7-0 after two offensive series by the Commies.
#progress
And to be honest, they didn’t screw up the coverage on that TD, you just can’t defend that throw
It was really good.
“except for one team, i think the afc east is kinda ass.”
-planet earth, since 2002
wait, the JESTS did something? with fields!!!?
Perfect throw! Thanks Jayden!
And good for you Justin Fields! You ARE a real QB!
Starting OL James Daniels hurt. Getting carved up by Daniel Jones. The road to firing Grier and McD is on its way, baby
also a potential tank for Lil’ Archie PeyPey!!
I need to take a weekend trip.
I’ve never been to Arkansas and have never had a reason. Now, I’m thinking about going out just to walk around and ask about where i can buy up cheap farmland to develop from out of state.
I’ve been through it. ISTR lots of dead armadillos.
Hot Springs is nice. The rest of it is Arkansas.
There’s the Geno I remember!
Damnit, Steelers! Jump on that fumble and the Jets will already have their first Comedy Central highlight of the season.
Turns out I do have a last button on this remote. I have to hold the ok button down until it changes. Old dog/ new trick!
Saints wearing Wake Forest kit, for some unknown reason.
STILLERS OPENING DRIVE TOUCHDOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2024
SUPERB OWL BABY STAIRWAY TO SEVEN HERE WE GO STILLERS HERE WE GO
/is tazed by roommate
Anyone got a stream site the recommend. I’m on a job site and the tv don’t work.
https://www.radio.net/s/snr
I’m listening to it.
Streamed.pk worked for me earlier. Results may vary.
Wheeeeeeeeeee!
Stillers/J-E-S-T or ‘Dacteds/VEP?
I’ll have to watch out for thumb cramps flipping back and forth with the remote.
I think i need a nap after eating a huge empanada
Man. I have been waiting for this day all damn year.
TUACEPTION
“Think ‘Inception’ but it makes much more sense.”