Let’s Do This! Your First Full Slate of Games Open Thread

Hey, best of luck to everyone in both DFO fantasy leagues except for Ayo, who can rot in hell. (why yes, he is my opponent this week) JK, Ayo-may your freezer always remain cold. Let’s get at it.

To The Games!

Fins/Colts:

Two teams on the precipice but one of them is no longer under the thumb of a pill-addled nepo man. Was that harsh? (I think that may have been harsh) There’s enough talent there for both teams to get over the hump but I think both coaches don’t survive the season. Daniel Jones will play behind a somewhat competent offensive line since, since ever? It won’t make any difference though-he’s been ruined in a way that only David Carr can truly understand.

Cards/Saints:

Wait a sec. Shouldn’t this unwatchable tilt be hidden in the late slate? Easier to hide it here? Ah, I get it now. New Orleans will be in QB hell all season, having to rely on Rattler or rookie Shough to guide them after Derek Carr’s retirement. I can’t see them getting to 4 wins.

Raiders/Pats:

Of all the second-year QB’s in the league, it seems that no one is under more pressure to succeed than Maye. Belichick is long gone but organizational malaise is still apparent with respect to the wr spot. A washed Diggs is your answer? All starters less than 6′ and under 200 pounds? The only receiver room that might be worse is TA DA! them Raiders.

Steelers/Jets:

“Revenge Game” narrative rears it’s ugly head. But, but Rodgers’ base personality is ‘petty dipshit’ though. It’s funny to me that Green Bay finally drafted a wr in the first round after Aaron left and that Pitt traded away Pickens as well. It’s as though GM’s unconsciously want The Precious One to fail.

Giants/Commies:

Welp, we’ll find out early how New York is going to fare in their division. If Daniels takes another leap forward in his progress the entire league will be on notice, never mind the NFC East. He is well-suited, given his running ability, to deal with the Giants pass rush so I can’t see Washington losing here.

Panthers/Jags:

Usually an afterthought, this is my pick for under-rated game of the day. The O/U sits at 46.5 as the defenses will struggle all year long and the respective offenses could be sneaky good.

Bengals/Browns:

Love that Cincy offense but that D will make too many games too close to call. Will Cleveland be the first team to dress 4 QB’s once Watson comes back? Make it happen, Browns.

Bucs/Falcons:

I think there’s a wild card spot available to each of the teams here so this tilt has outsized importance for the participants. Don’t sleep on that Tampa offense if Mayfield can continue on the path he forged last year.

Give me all of your good stuff.

 

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2Pack

The Jets appear competent. Fields is running around with reckless abandon. I hope he keeps his head.

Col. Duke LaCross

Russell Wilson is still allergic to handing the ball off inside the 5

King Hippo

Wee Kyler, low man wins!

Gatoraids

call of Duty or limbo he’s your man

Doktor Zymm

Not so much illegal hands to the face as bro nawt fastening his chinstrap and having his pads pop his helmet. Lame

Wakezilla

A new Fantasy football strategy: Just pick up guys on teams playing the Dolphins. I don’t think they’re going to win this year. lol

Gatoraids

Danny Dimes unleashed like Barkely, playin on giants and droppping the 100 lb weights on your soul

Redshirt

Fox Injury Music is still the same.

fleshwound_NPG

2019: Tank for Tua!

2025: Tank with Tua!

King Hippo

ELITE Charmslinger 4th down conversion!

Doktor Zymm

Did the Buccs actually show up to the game? Did they move it to the late window or something?

King Hippo

GatorAIDS just having the bestest weekend, poor bastard

Gatoraids

the purge of even low expectations is exhilarating. that and the excuse to day drink

Gatoraids

tho i am the the point of rooting for red zone commercials

fleshwound_NPG

if CBS makes a 9th NCIS show, they get the 10th one free

The Maestro

Patriots are in control. The swamp has been drained.

Doktor Zymm

Hey, itsa DeMario!
comment image

Gatoraids

Dolphin trainer needs to slap Tua head around a few times like an old TV to get better reception

LemonJello

Have they checked his back to rule out that as the problem?

Wakezilla

Another Tua turnover. Fuck!Get that brain damaged idiot out of here. BRING ON ZACK WILSON.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tuarnover.

King Hippo

Cuban MILFs need their new hero!!

fleshwound_NPG

TUAFUMBLE

Doktor Zymm

You may find this surprising but turns out there are Raiders fans in LA

LemonJello

As as percentage, how many of them have ankle monitors?

Wakezilla

The Dolphins starting offensive line lasted 3 plays in 2025 before a replacement was needed. We already had a Tuaception. The Corners are making Daniel Jones look elite. BURN IT ALL DOWN TO THE FUCKING GROUND!

King Hippo

THIS CHAAAAARRRRRMING VEP!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

STOP THE COUNT!

1000001560
Wakezilla

The Colts are picked up on the Dolphins not being able to play press coverage, and are carving up their zone.

Daniel Jones is looking elite, FFS

fleshwound_NPG

if danny dimes is carving you up, miami…

Jimbo

Elite hand off by Flacco.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Good play by the Steelers before the end of the quarter, but it was inexcusable to go out of bounds without even being touched.

Mr. Ayo

Goal line stand by the Bungles? In this economy?

Mr. Ayo

Nevermind, back to normal!

Doktor Zymm

I didn’t know the Saints had a manila envelope kit!

2Pack

Well now that we are back in full season swing, I see the WordPress log in hassles have come with the package.

Redshirt

Live shot of Cleveland:

IMG_1857
Spur

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Education?

Redshirt

7:32 minutes and counting with not giving up a score. It’s more than I could’ve hoped for with this defense.

LemonJello

Pete Hegseth says that Jets’ bomb just completely destroyed the Steelers defense.

fleshwound_NPG

def not watching football, it gets in the way of his drinking time

Redshirt

BLEERGH continues their feud against the Bengals.

Doktor Zymm

And to be honest, they didn’t screw up the coverage on that TD, you just can’t defend that throw

fleshwound_NPG

“except for one team, i think the afc east is kinda ass.”

-planet earth, since 2002

fleshwound_NPG

wait, the JESTS did something? with fields!!!?

Doktor Zymm

Perfect throw! Thanks Jayden!

Doktor Zymm

And good for you Justin Fields! You ARE a real QB!

Wakezilla

Starting OL James Daniels hurt. Getting carved up by Daniel Jones. The road to firing Grier and McD is on its way, baby

King Hippo

also a potential tank for Lil’ Archie PeyPey!!

blaxabbath

I need to take a weekend trip.

I’ve never been to Arkansas and have never had a reason. Now, I’m thinking about going out just to walk around and ask about where i can buy up cheap farmland to develop from out of state.

BugEyedBoo

I’ve been through it. ISTR lots of dead armadillos.

Gumbygirl

Hot Springs is nice. The rest of it is Arkansas.

Mr. Ayo

There’s the Geno I remember!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Damnit, Steelers! Jump on that fumble and the Jets will already have their first Comedy Central highlight of the season.

Gumbygirl

Turns out I do have a last button on this remote. I have to hold the ok button down until it changes. Old dog/ new trick!

King Hippo

Saints wearing Wake Forest kit, for some unknown reason.

WCS

STILLERS OPENING DRIVE TOUCHDOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2024

SUPERB OWL BABY STAIRWAY TO SEVEN HERE WE GO STILLERS HERE WE GO

/is tazed by roommate

JustStopDude

Anyone got a stream site the recommend. I’m on a job site and the tv don’t work.

WCS

https://www.radio.net/s/snr

I’m listening to it.

Jimbo

Streamed.pk worked for me earlier. Results may vary.

Gumbygirl

Wheeeeeeeeeee!

LemonJello

Stillers/J-E-S-T or ‘Dacteds/VEP?

I’ll have to watch out for thumb cramps flipping back and forth with the remote.

Spur

I think i need a nap after eating a huge empanada

The Maestro

Man. I have been waiting for this day all damn year.

fleshwound_NPG

TUACEPTION