Welcome back! It was kind of a perfect football day yesterday, enough competitive games and then that great finale. It’s always interesting to me to see old faces in new places and also to see how various rookies are being worked into their lineups. We also saw Micah Parsons rub salt into one of Jerry Jones festering open wounds, that was delightful! And of course on this very site we celebrated the return of Hippo Thoughts which is always a wonderful Monday morning pick-me-up. Let’s do another regular thing now…
Fallout:
-After being destroyed in their last two season openers 80+ something to -7 or so the Giants kept it (for them) close 21-6. So baby steps for them. If Russell continues with a few more sub .500 passing completion forays we’ll see Dart before he’s ready which seems to be like a Giants thing to do. Next week they’ve got the Cowboys and after that the Chiefs. Oh gawd, it’s going to be bad.
-Miami looks to be dead in the water. And decisions like signing perpetually injured Darren Waller have most everyone flummoxed. I was going to give him two games before he was to pull up lame but he never even made it to the gate.
-If you’re ready to bail on some of your fantasy selections already you could pick up a Danny Dimes, a Dylan Sampson, maybe Jacory Croskey-Merritt or even Quentin Johnson. (I don’t trust those hands yet though)
-I was happy to see that the Canadian Medical Association journal (in the form of an editorial) said something along these lines-“Jesus Christ, enough with the non-stop blitz of fucking gambling ads. Let’s develop some guidelines, please!” I wish more organizations would jump into the fray, it’s a bit ridiculous how many we are inundated with up here.
To The Game!
Vikings/Bears:
-Tonight we begin to find out what Ben Johnson can do with Caleb Williams. One quote by the former indicated that the offense and the QB are going to “grow together” which tells me that there are pieces Caleb hasn’t fully caught on to yet.
-As a matter of fact there are many questions swirling round both signal-callers in this tilt. I noticed that early in camp some of the reporters that follow the team pushed back on the narrative that McCarthy’s arm-strength wasn’t all that. Scribes carrying water for the team-I guess there’s compliant media beyond the political realm.
-The Bears o-line which gifted Williams with a league-leading 68 sacks has been tinkered with so we’ll see if he has a fighting chance this year.
-You’ll likely see a lot of D’Andre Swift this evening because Roschon is banged up and beyond him is Kyle Monangi, a 7th round draft pick this spring.
Enjoy what’s on offer.
Missed opportunity for 2 Vikes, 1 Tent
Cashman showing the durability of the dollar
This excerpt of Horatio’s thoughts on the big turk might be my favorite thing ever written on this site:
“Let’s keep this short and sweet: this is the worst thing I’ve ever put in my mouth, and I went to an all-boys Catholic high school.”
If I didn’t know better, I’d say that eli text joke was lifted from our various skits.
Did he ask his mom for a juice box? It’s after 9:30: nothing sugary after 9:30, because he had to brush his teeth before bedtime.
Probably by an AI. But may the gods themselves help any AI trained by using this site.
I would love to see the consequences of some AI taking everything we say here seriously
As long as it is not hooked up to any weapons systems.
Especially
The complete erasure of jim irsay’s well documented shortcomings is frustrating to me.
To be clear, I don’t criticize those with substance abuse issues, I do however criticize those who have the means to have a personal driver and still choose to drive inebriated.
Never mind the amount of cash he had with him
I’m guessing his 30 For 30 doc won’t be focusing on his pursuit of 30 grams of coke for $30.*
*these rich fuckers, they don’t know the value of anything
Does Lil’ Archie Pey-Pey do Manningface yet?
I bet he’ll be on before the bowl games start.
This is just a timeout and endearing himself to the crowd, he ain’t winning this challenge
if that’s all ball he…did not touch him down?
Forget “The Long Walk”, I want “The Long Talk”. Every football announcer has to talk non-stop and maintain a predetermined annoying volume-level with machine guns trained at their mouths. Once their cadence slows or their volume drops, they hear their last sound – “buh” – which is the first part of “BUH-BUH-BUH-BUH-BUH-BUH….”
one time id root for the whole Collinsworth Family to be on
Would Lovie Smith make that challenge?
Fans snorted the Ring of Honor in Jim Irsay’s honor
First call of the shift was a roadkill deer. Caller did not hit it; found Bambi’s mom like this.
I’m going to post whatever my first call of every shift is, and fill up a BINGO card.
Ben Johnson’s first tune on Spotify the rest of the season?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZDGkqXCkSA&list=RDgZDGkqXCkSA&start_radio=1
other than some good scrambles, that one throw to odunze into the red zone and that last throw to moore, this is every other offense ive seen from chicago since 1986
but with even worse running
VanGinkel! VanGinkel!
That gal is hard to block!!
He’s also over-explaining Manning, stfu.
It’s a very specific type of seizure
THROW IT TO IDUNZE DAMMIT
Seeing someone wearing number 50 for the Bears who isn’t Samurai Mike is weird
think they met the limit of retired numbers with ditka
Triple digits would have been better
https://bsky.app/profile/rmelyon.bsky.social/post/3lyemy2mp6s2w
I apologize to all Vikings fans. I drafted JJ McCarthy for FF.
He was destined to suck.
JJ McCarthy is like a kid in a candy store! But every candy is a Big Turk.
I’ll have you know, good sir, that Mr. Litre very graciously brought me one from Good Ole Canadia!
I will enjoy it and toast to his good health!
Don is on the money here because both the Turk and McCarthy will leave a bad taste in your mouth.
Chocolate and soap. What’s not to love? ¡TODO!
If anyone is lurking and confused, refresher/wisdom of the crowd:
https://doorfliesopen.com/2022/10/19/whose-big-turk-my-big-turk-apparently/
/gestures defeatedly
kei
there are SEVERAL practice squad players on this bears D
somebody might want to tell JJ that
Makes up for the popgun arm with complete lack of mobility, tho
Dual threat!
You absolutely cannot be an NFL starter if you don’t have the arm strength to throw a 10-yard out.
Is Carson Wentz still available?
When you talk about medical miracles Chris Berman is first in line with, “I can’t believe his heart hasn’t exploded yet”.
a mccarthy making a dumb mistake in the nfc north
time is but a flat circle
I’m reluctant to get exicted because I don’t trust the bears to keep this lead
They;d have to evacuate the tri-state area for Minny to score two TDs.
Another movie treatment I’m working on? I’m targeting the Hallmark Network during the holiday season (duh, I know-easy pickings, right?) Working Title-“Faster, Christmas Pussycat. Kill Kill Those Negative Feelings about Your Small Hometown”. I think it’s a winner!
Needs some secret royalty
secret royalty that gets a MAKEOVER!
Make the Ex evil!
I’m currently in negotiations with “Broken-down Pickup Truck on the Outskirts of Town” and let me tell you, they are driving (no pun intended) a hard bargain.
“In that 3rd QRT pick six, did you regret putting on war psint”?
I JUST tuned in, so you’re welcome for that pick 6
Both teams are SO RELIEVED they can FINALLY stop trying to play offense!
bears offense turns to shit, bears defense turns to offense
now this looks like bears football
Rookie gonna rookie
Hey, Troy implied it was the offensive line’s fault. Classic asshole QB behavior.
JJ no appreciate Bear hugs?
Jefferson needs to hand-paint a sign “I assure you I am OPEN”
His sparkly pearls don’t seem to help, maybe make the sign neon
Did they shove gum in there?
The odor of shoe polish is a problem, too.
“Are you? Really, truly open?”
-His therapist
“Harassing a minor, defense, 15 yards”
Count me among those hoping for an offensive outbreak of Odunze. Which could be a DSM-V joint but fuck it.
I remember that game with Eli against Minnesota! It was Eli’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Game!
Chris Berman looking like a bloated washed up corpse someone though in a tanning bed.
I guess Spinal Tap it’s a great reason to watch Jimmy Kimmel after the game. Huh. Guess whisky does poison the mind.
Look, Kimmel is… uh, not the worst late night host named Jimmy.
Oh god, Berman’s still alive?
Rumblin’, bumblin’, and stumblin’ onto the set.
Don’t forget mumbling and crumbling
Debatable. They’re leading him back to his coffin now to wait for next week.
I remember when that routine was exciting, back in 1985.
What was it last year, someone said that his wife dying from drunk driving supposedly had the unintended side effect of prolonging his career,and we were quoting PSAs like a bunch of assholes.
This flipping site man
Brocky, my darling, my dear. We are a bunch of assholes!
fierce punting, teams thinking FGs are worth more than TDs, halftime score is one score is single digit and one just barely made it to double
if you dont like that you dont like nfc north football
Let the fooken rookie throw da ball!
Neither one is a rookie
Get out of here with your “facts”.
Ironically you’re not the only jimbo I know who hates facts
“Fact is, I’m an excellent coach! Just ask me!”
Well, both are rookies in SPIRIT
joe buck, whom is older than me by quite a bit, used “hook and ladder” instead of “hook and lateral”
gtfo
Marv Albert called it the Hooker and Lacerater
Marv liked to bite women on the ass and wear frilly pink panties.
Everybody needs a hobby.
People who do that are worse than Hitler.
Yahoo is giving Odunze a 1% chance of scoring 46 points in the 2nd half.
Optimism is dead in your country.
This game seems like it would have been better suited for a Thursday.
…during the preseason.
all nfc north and afc south games should be relegated to thursdays
That one year, all the Thursday night games were all division games.
It did NOT help the ratings
Hey Ben, no need to slow roll the clock. Vikes are 100% taking a knee regardless
Can Hippo at least get a Rome Oduzne TD, for making it through this scheisse porn?
instead you will enjoy a 4th bears false start. at home. in just one half.
one more and they get a free sandwich
Oduzne sounds like one of those pharmaceutical products I just saw an ad for.
Don’t throw to Rome Oduzne if you are allergic to Oduzne, as serious side effects MAY OCCUR.
a good ole primetime nfc north PUNTKKAKE
was gettin worried for a minute there