13 September 2025 Night Thread

We’ve made it through 60% of our Saturday, let’s keep on truckin!

Florida Men (+7.5) at LSU (7:30, ABC)

Look, I get it.  Brian Kelly is coaching the home team.  But the Florida Men we pointed and laughed at last week?  They ain’t making this fucker a single digit affair.

Bonfire Cult (+6.5) at Notre Dame (7:30, NBC)

Seriously, THIS is a 1-point closer matchup?  I’d say this game is a true 50/50 tossup. But then again, I do a lot of drugs.

Vanderbilt (+3.5) at South Cakalaky (7:45, SECN)

Poor bastards got stuck with shitty coverage, but I bet I will watch MOAR of this than either headline matchup.  Then again…that drugs aspect again.

Duke (+1.5) at Tulane (8:00, ESPN2)

Did the Devils agree to this, as a quasi-apology for stealing the Green Wave QB (and paying him $3M plus)?  Shit, imagine how motivated the NEW quartered back will be to make an impression, knowing what moneys could be in store!

Minnesota (-2.5) at California (10:30, ESPN)

Late nite with…the ACC?  Screw you, Darkest Timeline.  Call this the Golden Derby, with the Gophers in much better shape than the Shower Bears.

Bahstahn Cawledge (-13.5) at Stanford (10:30, ACCN)

Oh my cats, Hodor’s Tree is so very, very bad.  After his tenure with the Black Panthers, it only seems right that Frank Reich should have to suffer through this.

 

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Beerguyrob

All those cheers for Alvarez are going to guarantee ICE checkpoints at the stadium exits.

Horatio Cornblower

The mariachi band for his walk-in might as well have been the Bat Signal for those assholes.

Bogdanski

As a Wisconsin grad, we are begging for the return of Alverez, ICE be damned

Beerguyrob

I also enjoy how the fight is just more TKO sports washing of the Saudis.

It’s Riyadh season!

Horatio Cornblower

Listen, next to the people who are usually in charge of boxing the Saudi are upstanding folks who adhere to all societal norms and would never, ever, take a bone-saw to the remains of a dissident they’d lured into an embassy and then strangled.

Allegedly.

Horatio Cornblower

Yes, that’s right boxing fans, boo the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Nothing bad has ever happened to anyone who’s done that.

Gumbygirl

This pizza did not improve upon reheating. Didn’t help that I burned it to cinders, my SIL’s oven is horrible. But my bag o’ salad wasn’t bad, it had cronchy little dried apples, feta, and spinach.

Beerguyrob

Your problem was trusting anything named Sill.

Doktor Zymm

Might give Kagi a try. I’m willing to pay for search if it’s decent. Totally could be worth it in terms of time saved and not being pissed off as much
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2025/08/enough-is-enough-i-dumped-googles-worsening-search-for-kagi/

Gatoraids

i’ve been using it and liking it much better for cooking recipes than various slop that google serves

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Google’s indexing has gotten worse and worse. It can’t direct me to old posts here even if I use directly quoted post titles.

BeefReeferLives

There’s this, for making google less shit filled:

https://udm14.com/

Redshirt

Brutus Buckeye finally gets revenge on Rufus the Bobcat during Ohio State-Ohio U game

Reason #1,318 why College Football is better than the NFL.

Beerguyrob

Are they just getting to the title fight now? Jesus.

Mr. Ayo

Just one more concert.

Horatio Cornblower

Mark Wahlberg giving us his opinions of the fight.

I actually like Wahlberg as an actor, but I would love to see him put his money where his mouth was and get in the ring with even a decent amateur fighter and see how he’d do in an actual fight, after all the shit he* talked about being told he could have been a real fighter because his hands were so good while training for ‘The Fighter.’**

*every fucking actor who stars in a boxing movie seems to say this, and every single one of them would get laid out like cordwood if they got in a ring with an actual fighter.

**The Fighter is a great movie, regardless.

Jimbo

No one denies this!

Redshirt

“Punch me as hard as you can in the chest.” Next thing I know, I was in intensive care at St. John’s Hospital for four days. It’s stupid!

— Sylvester Stallone says the wrong thing to Dolph LundgrenRocky IV

Horatio Cornblower

Love that story. I give Stallone credit for admitting that.

Gatoraids

wild he was a fulbright scholar who got his movie start from dating Grace Jones

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WCS

With a Master’s degree in chemical engineering.

SonOfSpam

I’d like to see him try to stop an airline hijacking and fail.

(because he has kinda claimed he could stop 9/11 or whatever)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I tell you what if someone had shot at me while *I* was onstage in Utah…”

Last edited 5 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Jimbo

Fahken Makee Mark, should he be stopping da next 9/11

Last edited 5 months ago by Jimbo
SonOfSpam

Sorry, didn’t see this one first.

Horatio Cornblower

Michael J. Fox?

At a boxing match?

/cracks knuckles
//takes off coat
///gazes at the door opening to the gaping maw of Hell.

Nope. Not today, Satan.

SonOfSpam

Too bad. Hell is currently showing that Kevin Bacon movie about the underground worms.

Redshirt

Odd, my Hell is my memories of me realizing my first friendship was over, the first time getting my heart broken, anything and everything about my dad’s ALS and the radio broadcasts of all the Cincinnati sports playoff losses playing the background all to Kenny G music.

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus Christ, next time I’ll just tell a joke about Michael J. Fox.

Mr. Ayo

Any dead puppies you want to tell us about, too?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tremors? That movie fuckin’ ruled; still does.

Redshirt

(watching the special about the Super Bowl XXXIV and its low-key hilarious)

-Coach Vermeil telling the backup QB to be ready because Kurt Warner may not play the 2nd half. I know that’s his job to keep his backup ready but on the other hand you don’t do that to a guy! Getting him so nervous and then excited because he’s about to live his dream to lead his team to a Super Bowl victory only to get thrown back to Anonymous Clipboard Holder.

-Blane Bishop trying to convince the trainers and Coach Fisher that he can play despite lying motionless facedown on the field for five minutes. Like the NFL version of the Black Knight. “I feel nothing. I feel fine. I mean my neck is a bit stiff but I can still play.”

Last edited 5 months ago by Redshirt
litre_cola

Pretty stoned. Who is today’s Zach de la Rocha or Rage for that matter?

litre_cola
SonOfSpam

Bieber, obvs

Horatio Cornblower

Sabrina Carpenter

Horatio Cornblower

And we have the first instance of Netflix buffering.

Too bad, they’d been doing well up until now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BAHAHAHAHA STUPID FUCKING OVERRATED NOTRE DAME

litre_cola

I just got home and I have no idea what happened but I’ll die for your comment

Horatio Cornblower

“How should he respond to those left hooks”

Apparently with a shot to the nuts.

WCS

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ArmedandHammered

All ways worked for me.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, it’s not the worst strategy…

Brocky

My high school career football career ended because of a mixed extra point.

I’m not sure how this is relevant, but fuck notre dame

Brocky

Yo wtf I’m not even close to drunk

career football career

WCS

Fuck you, Notre Dame. That was funny.

Mr. Ayo

Down go the Irish! Down go the Irish!

Horatio Cornblower

Settle down, Cromwell.

yeah right

I wish we could frame this response.

yeah right

Homemade veggie stock is made.
Spanish paprika rubbed pork chops chilling.

Plus I found some leftover pesto that will make a lovely pesto cream sauce served over penne with fresh parmigiano reggiano of course.

Spinach salad with whatever fruit is most in season and perhaps a loaf of fresh bread.

It’s cool. My squad doesn’t play until late.

Never stop cooking.

Horatio Cornblower

Scored a draw. Usually a cop-out, but seems like a fair result for this fight.

WCS

IRISH PAT DERP

Mr. Ayo

IRISH SPECIAL TEAM DERP

Redshirt

LaNorris Sellers injury: South Carolina QB ruled out vs. Vanderbilt after hard hit, targeting penalty – CBSSports.com

…and the moral of the story, boys and girls and variations thereupon, is if you can’t beat your opponent, then beat your opponent.

Horatio Cornblower

This is also Tyreek Hill’s approach to familial relations.

WCS

LSU and the always calm, reasonable, and very likeable Brian Kelly defeat Florida, 20-10. DJ Lageway had a great day if you’re an LSU fan, probably not so much if you’re Gator.

WCS

Is DJ Lageway quaterbacking for the Gators right now? Five (!!) interceptions thrown by Florida, but haven’t heard it’s Lageway or someone else.

Mr. Ayo

Oh, it’s all Lageway

Brocky

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Horatio Cornblower

Max Kellerman: “You know, Martinez is blocking a lot of these shots on the inside”

Me: “Yeah, but he’s blocking them with his face.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He sounds like he’s inches away from becoming a conservative influencer.

Horatio Cornblower

No, he’s alive.

herodotus450

what do you mean, the Florida quarterback just threw a pick into trippple coverage on third down while in field goal range, which they desperately needed to stay in the game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Brocky

You know who else went to Florida?

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

This second fight is a classic “fuck me? fuck you!” phone booth brawl.

Good shit. For me. It’s really bad for both fighters’ health.

Brocky

Notre Dame Football:

A program do legitimately unlikeable that it’s making me root for the college that produced Johnny Manzel

Brocky

I feel like i could dig up anything bad about any college football team in the country and it would still apply to how hateable notre dame is

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel like Baylor could upend this pattern.

WCS

Not necessarily Son of Clem as a whole, but Dabo. Dabo! DABO! has murdered at least one male prostitute before. No witnesses because God hates the gheys.

Horatio Cornblower

Somewhere near SMU the wind whispers ‘Craig James’ over the unmarked graves of five hookers.

Horatio Cornblower

I know people hate ND, and I get why, but Penn State has set a low-ball standard that cannot be beaten.

Bogdanski

Don’t sleep on Michigan State or THE OSU’s Jim Jordan. Both very shitty

Horatio Cornblower

Forgot about MSU. Yeah, that fucking team doctor is right down there with Sandusky.

Bogdanski

Didn’t A&M football manage to kill a kid to? Are they not “Bonfire cult” in Hippo-speak? Not necessarily traceable to a coach but still pretty shitty

Horatio Cornblower

If you’re talking about the bonfire collapsing I think more than one kid died, but I don’t think that, technically, (which is the best way to avoid liability for a wrongful death), that the university had anything to do with the way that was handled, (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

Horatio Cornblower

Holy Jesus 12 people died!

1999_Aggie_Bonfire_collapse

Bogdanski

Yeesh. That was my peak dumb-ass college student era. I am often amazed I survived

Bogdanski

https://youtu.be/hou0lU8WMgo?si=-NOQuVw3XJFLqNug
Technically avoiding liability, the best kind of avoiding liability

Beerguyrob

I did a good job on tonight’s steak.

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Brocky

Great. Now I’m hungry again

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Huh. If anyone had told me that Ohio was having a Civil War I’d have assumed the contestants would have been Logic vs. Reason. And that it would have ended in mutual destruction.

Doktor Zymm

Must be a typo, I’m sure they meant Civet War

Horatio Cornblower

On the plus side, good coffee.

Bogdanski

Kopi luwak!

BeefReeferLives

Judging by their elected representatives to congress & senate, I don’t know if there’s much logic or reason to go around in Ohio.

Bogdanski

Are they fighting over who gets the definite and gets the indefinite article?

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/-r_1RPb5mCs

’tis a pleasant evening to be a Mountaineer, regardless of where you may find yourself at this moment.

WCS
SonOfSpam

That’s the great thing about West Virginia; you’re comfortable enough with incest to marry a royal someday.

WCS

Bonus points for us not being related in any way.

As far as we know…

BeefReeferLives

Bask in the warm glow of victory, internet chum.

Gumbygirl

I am happy for yinz. Really. Mostly. Kind of.

Horatio Cornblower

On the plus side the American kid is still in this and it looks like the fight will go 10.

On the down side, he is going to lose a very lopsided decision, and have trouble passing his military physical. “Hey man, did you know how brains have two hemispheres? Both of yours are in the same one.”

ArmedandHammered

All the scar tissue has made your brain completely smooth.

Gatoraids

did Mardi Gras one year with 10 people in one hotel room was worth it, somehow we got on balcony of Playboy club slinging beads. Food and vibes cant be missed

yeah right

There are parts of Louisiana that are incredible and there are other parts.

New Orleans is life.

Love that city forever.

Horatio Cornblower

Nawlins is fantastic, other than the murdering part.

SonOfSpam

yeah but

Doktor Zymm

We shouldn’t murder them, just dump them in the bottomless pit the government is hiding with ‘Wyoming’

Gumbygirl

Put a fence around it and herd them all in there. Like a cattle drive, only with stupider animals.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The funny thing is that so many of them profess to want exactly that, but then end up spending all their time in the big cities they decry as cesspools.

Horatio Cornblower

Ain’t no money in tradlife, but there sure as fuck is in grifting a tradlifestyle.

Gumbygirl

Me too. Now I want some creole food. Instead, I’m having leftover Rao’s frozen pepperoni pizza. Here’s a tip- don’t.

But I did go to my favorite weed store in San Bernardino today, and afterward I picked up a piece of lemon blueberry cake, so it’s not a complete disaster dumpster fire of a Saturday. And I’m afraid to jinx them like I did Pitt, but my Blazers are winning. And Georgia beat Tennesse at Rocky Top.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The weed can’t fix the pizza? You should ask for your money back.

Gumbygirl

It’s worse pizza than the abortions on toast we had in high school. The crust is sooooo bad. I would be better off sliding the cheese and pepperoni on the box and eating that instead. The shamiest shame pizza that ever shamed! I award it no points, and may God have mercy on Rao’s soul.

ArmedandHammered

I have home made Door cherry pie, and thanks for the heads up, sounds like the shit we got in high school.

herodotus450

Wikipedia, by the way, is really just one guy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Pruitt
And you know it’s true because it’s on his… wikipedia article…

Redshirt

Fireworks are going off in my neighborhood. Either they are celebrating September 11th or Charlie Kirk being killed. But to be fair, fireworks go off every other weekend so it could just be an inconsiderate jerk.

Brick Meathook

Ohio native William T. Sherman in his “Make Georgia Howl” pose:

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Horatio Cornblower

I have some bad news about rural Connecticut…

Gumbygirl

Rural anywhere. Never leave the city. Fuck, never leave the gayborhood!

Gumbygirl

I have a full, ampliflied Mariachi band three doors down. And I’m sure the fireworks are coming. ¡Fiesta!

Horatio Cornblower

“This is Alakel’s first 10-round fight….”

Having watched 4 minutes of this fight I can promise you this isn’t going 10.

SonOfSpam

Thanks for the reminder…big fight will be, like midnight Eastern?

Horatio Cornblower

That’s be my guess.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You should demand your nickel back!

Doktor Zymm

Google has reached a new low. I was trying to find out what the cocktail is that Sister Boniface drinks in the pub. There was one relevant result, a reddit post, and then a bunch of cocktail recipes for the drink mentioned in the reddit post with no mention of Sister Boniface anywhere. So basically they’re just totally trusting some random guy on reddit and then pulling up a bunch of results based around that random dude to make it look like it’s a solid, substantiated answer. This isn’t a very important question so it doesn’t really matter, but it’s a really bad way to go about things that could easily have some nasty consequences. Total shit.

Doktor Zymm

I mostly use Duckduckgo now anyway, but it’s honestly not great either. Anyone have anything they like for search?

herodotus450

duckduckgo just copies Bing results, if im not mistaken.

Doktor Zymm

Well that would explain why it’s crap

herodotus450

Well you could always join my Web Ring

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I went to college with the guy who invented those! He’s crazy rich these days.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sage_Weil

Doktor Zymm

I’m just going to stick to here and wikipedia for now, until wikipedia goes to hell too

Horatio Cornblower

Watching the Canelo-Crawford fight on Netflix. We’re live from Saudi Arabia and the first fight has a kid from Texas who is 7-4 and retiring after this fight to join the Army, and his opponent is a “highly touted prospect from Saudi Arabia.”

Gosh, I just don’t know how to bet this one…

Horatio Cornblower

Sorry, we’re live from Vegas, but Saudi Arabia is paying for the fights, or something.

Either way, if I were the American kid I’d find a way to lose.

Horatio Cornblower

When did Don King get involved in boxing?

Probably then.

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck that pretty-boy prick.

Hagler won that fight.

Horatio Cornblower

The wind killed the kid. Kelly’s too much of a pussy to do his own dirty work.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Technically the massive blunt force trauma of hitting the ground is what killed the kid; same as it was the blood loss that killed Charlie Kirk. The bullet just facilitated things.

BeefReeferLives

“I didn’t mean to kill nobody … I just meant to shoot the sonofabitch in the head. Him dying was between him and the Lord.” ― R.L. Burnside

WCS

Technically, it was the ground and blunt force trauma.

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus, LSU, I haven’t see a defensive lapse like that since Charlie Kirk’s ‘Prove Me Wrong’ Tour.

Beerguyrob

The QB wasn’t the only thing picked off this week.

Beerguyrob

Saw these abominations at the liquor store. Not spending the $3.99 makes me a better Canadian.

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Beerguyrob

Okay – now we’re cooking with gas.

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BC Dick

Much better

Gumbygirl

I would try that.

Redshirt

The Ohio Civil War is as close as aways.

Horatio Cornblower

Meth vs. Fentanyl?

Beerguyrob

Vaccines vs. Polio?

fleshwound_NPG

jd vance dick vs couch?

herodotus450

Ohio quarterback Parker Navarro Can’t Lose!
Because he’s now out with a hand injury…

Fronkenshteen

14-0. If the Hokies lose at home to ODU, I hope Metallica’s attorneys send Virginia Tech a cease and desist letter.

WCS

Did I miss anything?

Gumbygirl

Nope.

scotchnaut

A domestic dispute/arson combo on Third Street?

WCS

That’s later.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Tyler Robinson

fleshwound_NPG

theres a manning playing college football so of course that means tennessee loses a big game