Your Monday Night Doubleheader Open Thread

I don’t mind this at all in theory. (will not be watching till the end of the second feature) And I’ve been told there are three more over the course of the season. Choice is good!

Fallout:

-Of course most of the salient reportage revolves around injuries to Burrow, McCarthy, Fields and Daniels. This will be the third of six seasons that Joe will only play 10 games or so. Another circumstance not given much attention is that two of the Panthers starting o-linemen are down. This might be a lost season right off the hop.

-Maybe the Packers D is all that? They tamed both the Lions and the Commies, causing Detroiters to fuss and fret and then low and behold they hung a 50 spot on the Bears.

-Not All That: There was a time not long ago that Trevor Lawrence strutted into the league and coaches, scouts and media alike designated him as “The Next One”. He now has 70 turnovers in 62 games played and progress sure seems stalled. I think this is the time/place to realize that he is what he is.

-Two Updates: The Chiefs are 0-2. The Colts haven’t punted yet.

To The Games!

Bucs/Texans:

-Baker has a streak of six straight games throwing 2+ TD’s.

-Nico was started everywhere but delivered 3 catches and 25 yards. The good news is that he’s back at the friendly confines of NRG Stadium and of his last 15 TD’s caught, 13 have been at home.

-Looking forward to the battle between Chubb and Vita Vea, the 357 pound destroyer of running lanes.

-There’s plenty of grumbling out Texas way that Houston did not fully address their offensive line woes-something to keep an eye on.

Bolts/Raiders:

-Both teams are in a great spot if they get the W, what with the Chiefs where they are and the Broncos at 1-1. Early division games matter.

-This will be the first time they’ve met with both having winning records since wk 4 of 2021.

-Carroll thinks it would be great to win, given that they have a long covered wagon trip to the east coast to meet the Providence Steamrollers.

-Sounds like Bowers is a game-timer.

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BeefReeferLives

“The Raiders are still somehow alive here!!!”

/ The Raiders were not, in fact, alive here.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Reminds me a lot of last Wednesday.

SonOfSpam

You know who else is not alive here?

Oh, you thought this was a Charlie Kirk joke?

No, I was referring to Chester A. Arthur. He’s not alive.

WCS

Cleopatra and Marc Antony aren’t available, either.

SonOfSpam

What? WHEN?

Dunstan

Too soon.

BeefReeferLives

Geno all like

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SonOfSpam

Goin down the only road he’s ever known

(the road to 8-9)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d actually be pretty content with an 8-9 season.

yeah right

Did a blood draw for the third time this year because they can’t figure out how to do all of the blood panels at the same time?
Or maybe just want a copay for each time you step in the motherfucking door.

Anyway, doctor says my sodium level is kind of low and I drink too much water.

So you want me to drink less water and consume more sodium?!

Because, I can do that!

A thinking person would question this diagnosis.

blaxabbath

Elizabeth Holmes had a thing but then I guess it wasn’t ready yet..

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Either that or the DEEP STATE shut it down because it would have exposed how much luciferase is getting into our bloodstreams.

SonOfSpam

(gives Elizabeth Holmes a drop of blood)

Elizabeth Holmes: “Ok, one moment”

(Elizabeth Holmes turns around, makes whirring and beeping noises)

Elizabeth Holmes: “You have AIDS and a bunion.”

SonOfSpam

Easy fix, you have a whole-ass ocean next door. Drink that.

BeefReeferLives

Is your Doctor’s name “Nick”?

Doktor Zymm

Both the provider and the insurance get more money if they break it up into multiple visits.

And beer has electolytes!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Only salted rim cocktails for a while for you!

Wakezilla

The LA Clippers keep it a 4 score game.

Sharkbait

Genoception the third!

blaxabbath

THAT’S RIKKI’S RAIDERS!

SonOfSpam

Meanwhile the other desert team is 2-0. Terrifying.

WCS

No, the Golden Knights’ season is a month out.

Sharkbait

They’re already rumored to be in the mix to sign Carter Hart. As if they cant be any more terrible.

SonOfSpam

Can’t wait, winter in Vegas is cozy as fuck

blaxabbath

Pete Carroll looks good running around out there.

Maybe he should be the one we all should be constantly asking to release the Epstein Files.

yeah right

He’s a “Lost Boy?”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Ah shit, did one of them get out?” – Marc Trestman, holding a leash

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

HI I’M MARK DAVIS is such a weird dude. I’m not aware of him publicly embracing conspiracy theories himself but between hiring Jack Del Rio and Pete Carroll you have to think he listens pretty intently when these guys are “just asking questions”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Gruden seems like he’d have some thoughts on vaccines and 5G towers too.

SonOfSpam

And blacks, don’t forget those.

yeah right

Chris Fowler judging by his voice made the rookie mistake of getting to Vegas last Wednesday for tonight’s game.

There’s a lot of whisky and darts in that voice.

Wakezilla

What’s the over/under for hookers and blow consumed by Fowler over the weekend?

yeah right

All of it.

yeah right

There’s a reason why you don’t stay longer than 3 nights in Vegas or New Orleans.

It’s called survival and common sense.

SonOfSpam

Also never go with a hippie to a second location.

Wakezilla

ESPN should start showing the fights occuring in the stands. Vegas isn’t coming back

SonOfSpam

The team or the city?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Meanwhile, at Nielsen Media Research…

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Last edited 5 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Redshirt

Chris Berman is still alive?!

WCS

Undeadish.

Gatoraids

–Chris Berman

BeefReeferLives

He’s a bag of sentient pastrami.

not unlike RFK

Unsurprised

Sentient?

Horatio Cornblower

Not on the inside.

BeefReeferLives

“We gotta play better”

Well thanks for really breaking down for us there, Pete. Way to plumb the depths of the minutiae of the game.

WCS

Real hard-hitting insight and analysis.

Redshirt

quote-at-the-end-of-the-game-the-team-with-the-most-points-on-the-board-is-going-to-win-john-madden-35-70-87
WCS
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I’ve utilized the same strategy in Helldivers 2 and also at other times.” – T. Robinson, Utah

BeefReeferLives

In which Geno channels his inner Rex Grossman

Sharkbait

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Sharkbait

Also the first link when you google Fuck it Im going deep goes straight to KSK