Let’s go. Where?
To The Games!
Pack/Browns:
Cleveland isn’t much to look at on O but the rush D is a beast-only allowing 92 yards on the ground so far. Look for rook rb Judkins to get a full work load this week in the hopes of keeping the team out of 3rd and long situations which has been a problem so far.
Colts/Titans:
Ward has been sacked 11 times already and even though Indy doesn’t have that much of a pass rush they are getting back a starting DT. No team has gone three straight games without punting since 1940. You knew I was going to point it out-projection-wise, QB Jones is ranked as #8. What a world.
Bengals/Vikes:
My backup qb is better than yours. As far as experience goes the winner is Carson Wence, the first at his position to start for six different teams in six years. He faces a Cincy D that has been on the field more than only three other teams and is surrendering 3rd down conversions at a non-healthy 51% rate.
Steelers/Pats:
Pitt is not playing their game-their rush game is only averaging 3 per attempt (maybe it wasn’t Najee’s fault?) and the D is giving up 30+ points per tilt on average. Some reporters have heard cries of, “Get me three gallons of chicken blood, Stat!” in the halls of Steelers headquarters.
Rams/Eagles:
Hurts doesn’t have a throwing TD yet but McVay has likened him to Magneto in that, “he can beat you with his mind”, at least that’s how I interpret it. The Rams D has a -11% pass expectation rate, which means they’re playing right into Hurts and Saquon’s strengths.
Jets/Bucs:
It’s early but NY is leaning on Garrett Wilson to an extent that his 37% target rate has only been exceeded twice over the course of a season. Someone else, Bueller?, needs to step up. Funny how a ‘shitty attitude’ suddenly morphs into a ‘confident swagger’ when you’re in the right situation and have been allowed for your talent to flourish, right Baker? Browns beat reporters that carried water for the team, I see you.
Raiders/Commies:
Washington let tight end Kraft go for 124 last week and now Bowers comes to town. One surprise from this Carroll-led team is that Geno has tossed a long ball (over 30 air yards) at the second-highest rate. With Daniels having a wonky knee (I’ve heard this before…) the O may lean on the rook rb a bit more.
Falcons/Panthers:
Bryce Young’s growth continues to be stunted and things may not get much better against an Atlanta team that registered 6 sacks last week. Bijan should have another good day-Carolina allows 2.5 to opposing ball carriers after contact, 3rd-most in the league.
Texans/Jags:
It’s the battle of the disappointing fantasy wr’s-Collins. Thomas Jr. Who ya got? Houston has a chance to fall to 0-3 for the first time since 2020 but should take care of business here. Their pass rush is something but their run game stop percentage rate is a lowly 27.5 so start Etienne without any qualms. Travis Hunter hasn’t passed Dyami Brown in the wr pecking order yet-that has to change soon.
Have at it.
0-2 team down 20-6 and the home crowd booing like theyre 0-9 and down 30-3 at the half
job opening in tennessee pretty soon if you want it
Well, back to the abyss.
I guarantee one of my fantasy opponents has SKOL D/ST. Probably both.
Wow, the Raiders offensive line is soft. Geno is getting hit or taken down on virtually every play.
Eagles fans getting the D batteries ready.
“What’ve done for us lately, ya bums!”
might be a job opening in tennessee pretty soon
Is it just me, or is everything especially terrible this weekend? Sure can’t wait FOAR Monday…
I say this too much, so naturally I’m going to say it again, but if the Jets had done what I said they should have done back when I had time to do mock drafts and taken Baker Mayfield they a) would not have been the absolute shitstorm of mediocrity they continue to be and b) Mayfield would have been a gottdamn star in the NY media market.
Or he would have exploded his heart with cocaine, I suppose.
Two things can both be possible here.
Whoa, whoa, WHOA!
We would kill for mediocrity here.
FUCK YOU DRAKE MAYE YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE
#MeToo
/is Hippo’s fault for his temporary support
“That’s what happens.” -Kendrick Lamar
Yessss!
Creamsicles out for Tampa Bay and Pat the Patriot back for New England.
Goddamn, it’s junior high all over again and now I’m afraid of girls.
dreading going to grade school on monday, but at least i’ll have ducktales to watch when i get home
That’s a weird way to refer to watching footage of the most recent Turning Point USA rally.
That’s Shouldaduckedtales
Dammit, that’s so much better than mine.
That rally could have used more ducking.
Flaccoception Arm-Punt!
WOOOOOO! COMMIES!
Move your ass, Romo. I wanna see the Stripeless Helmet!
SHANK’LOR alive and well in clots/tits
Texas taunt: Arch Manning ‘ripped’ after touchdown celebration, mother not pleased with unsportsmanlike act – CBSSports.com
Breaking news: Arch made Uncle Eli cry.
Indianapolis Colts’ fans must be ICE agents, because they are freaking out seeing someone named Rigoberto Sanchez.
I heard he’s a dirty player.
sommet about him ah JUST DON’T TRUST u noe??
Taking another JOB from an AMERICAN. Do better Baltimore! Thank you for your attention to this matter. DJT.
4th and 31?
NFL BLIZ!!
…and a storm knocks the power out for a second and TV goes bye-bye. Yeah, I’m thinking 2025 may be a lost year.
That’s just a sign that it’s time to buy a bigger TV.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbDostWXpcU
Drakeception
Or not
Mike Vrabel has taken the brown acid. THIS IS NAE A DRILL!!
everybody saying colts fans have never seen their punter this year (until now!) but i would assume they are actually tired of seeing their punter
He was a refreshing sports media presence for exactly three hot seconds.
/Nice workout at gym, gets the endorphins going
//to bookstore, gets book he ordered, feeling good about that
///chicken-bacon grinder for lunch, lip-smacking anticipation
////while waiting for grinder sees Emeka Egbuka, who he benched earlier, making a tremendous one-handed leaping catch down the sideline.
GODDAMMIT!!!!!!
We do have creamsicles, though, which is nice.
Ooh, I would love a creamsicle but all I have is this delicious banana toffee ice cream.
All I have is the chicken-bacon grinder and the full attention of my dog and cat.
Is that like a Gruden grinder?
No, this is actually getting the job done.
Rodgers yelling at his receiver? Why, I never!!! It gives me the vapors just to imagine it!
.
“Not in my NFL you’re not!” – national disgrace Roger Goodell, thinking you are referring to smelling salts
I started Freiermuth. He won’t see another ball today.
Rodgers: “WHY AREN’T YOU READING MY MIND?”
Receiver: “There’s so much garbage in there. Capybaras are spies for South American governments? Really? Jesus Christ!”
“He’s on to us. Have Rodgers killed.”
PUNT INDY PUUUUUNT
Hopefully these Draftkings ads on RedZone are helping some people to quit gambling
Big head mode activated. NFL Blitz?
#ThePauls QB sack eliminated by a 12 men on the field penalty?
Oh, Cleveland, never change.
Jalen Hurts
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/1nmyg2h/highlight_jaylen_mccollough_huge_hit_on_jalen/
Ooof!
Woo hoo nominative determinism!
Do that to Patrick Mahomes and it’s 15 yards and a 2-game suspension.
Also Taylor Swift makes her next passive-aggressive hate song about you.
LOVE the Drake!!!
(throws up in mouth a little)
<insert looking for Boutte joke here>
Tampa Bay, you go back to the Creamsicles and burn the other jerseys, no questions will be asked.
This guy gets it.
Ok, hot taek incoming…I LOVE THE BROWNS’ UNIS.
Agree. Helmets are stylish
Counterpoint:
Five Minute Virtual Measurement, Cincinnati Challenge. It may be October before the ball is snapped again.
FLACCO-FANNIN FLEA FLICKER!!!!
Flea-flicker checkdown, of course it’s #ThePauls
THESE UNBEATEN INDIANAPOLIS COLTS LEMME TELL YA I CALL THEM NAUGHTY AMERICA BECAUSE THE TITS ARE GETTING FUCKED, AND RIGHT NOW IN THIS SHORT 2025 NFL SEASON NOBODY DOES IT BETTER
Vivid description.
Meanwhile, if you’re wondering why the South Asians are mad at each other, India is walloping Pakistan right now.
Virtual Measuring Time. Oh, Mighty AI. I beseech thee…
Stillers being cromulent…14-0
13:29 2nd
fucking piece of shit P*ts
Evergreen comment
BLEERGH decided on seafood this morning… five penalties for New England in a quarter.
Hoping the P*ts send A A ron to an early darkness retreat. No offence.
Officiating changes when you’re not the league darling any more
These Titans I call them first date at my house ‘cause it’s making me wanna do housework RIGHT NOW
Hell yeah, need all the points I can get to beat Dick.
Welp, it appears Lambeau would like to go outside RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Lambeau!
WHOOZA A GOOD BOY!?!?!?
RAMMITT!
1-1 it ends, as everything apparently has to go the goddamned Redshite’s way now.
Romo the kicker channeling 4th quarter of a playoff game Romo the QB
unfair comparison, we haven’t seen this new guys smile yet
BTW, an outstanding morning for variety on the TSN’s right now.
Nothing about the Leafs’ preseason rumblings, like what Austen Matthews had for breakfast Thursday, and potential draft picks in 2037?
That’s Monday.
In this America, we are against the Browning.
-TPUSA
the only browning you can trust to find downfield targets
I’d suggest taking a drink every time the phrase “tush push” is used during an Eagles game, but that might exceed even DFO-recommended levels of consumption.
Hell, that might be dangerous even with water