Hey.
Four weeks in the books. How is your team looking? No need for that kind of language! There may be children and pets nearby!
Any sleeper picks or waiver wire acquisitions that have paid off for you? Any you’ve already dumped because they were a bust? Which first rounder sits on your IR, mocking your managerial prowess?
Let’s see what happened in the leagues!
Freezer Vodka League
Week 4 Match Ups
Week 4 Standings
What does it look like this week? Three teams atop the standings with 3-1 tallies; Rev’s Chosen Ones, Indelible Prickstains FC, and The Drunky QB. Nine teams at 2-2 still in the playoff hunt as well as fighting to avoid the Relegation Zone. A zone currently occupied by Pump Up The Spam (1-3) and Dead Hobos (0-4). Still plenty of games to be played, and we’re entering the bye weeks where everyone scrambles to find a second RB or a flex WR/TE that can just contribute something, anything to the week’s total.
Lowratio League
Week 4 Match Ups
Week 4 Standings
AI Abuelas retains the top spot, improving to 4-0, the last undefeated team in the league. Jimbo’s Sad Hombres and Rod Rust never sleeps, at 3-1 vie for the 2nd automatic promotion to FVL. 7 teams at 2-2 look to secure a playoff spot that will lead to promotion and greater glory (?) next season. Even the remaining 4 teams at 1-3 aren’t out of the hunt, there’s still plenty of time for the teams above them to trip on their (fantasy football management) dicks and slide down the standings. Hope springs eternal, or something. Sebastian’s Swag Team and Ambiguous Aaron Rodgers both secured their first wins of the season this week, so no team in Lowratio League is winless!
**hands out participation ribbons to everyone**
actual participation ribbon may vary, or not exist
Lowratio League Blowout of the Weak
AI Abuelas, for the second week in a row, delivered the biggest beatdown of the week. Gonna make this an end of season stat, because I can.
Who earns promotion from Lowratio League to Freezer Vodka League? Who will be relegated and replaced in the senior league this year? Tune in to find out!
Until Next Time!
I am blowing up the Penix, this has been a bad FF year.
The tune that Tyreek plays over and over again post-surgery? U2’s “One Knee Hill”.
Working my way through Murdoch Mysteries and his love interest having blue clitoris is a funny throughline apparently.
Smurf yeah!
Huh, I don’t recall that, guess I need to rewatch
Austin Well is dodging out of the way of balls inside.
Sir, this is the play-offs and you are hitting .219. Wear it.
At the Hard rock before AEW tonight , drinking at a casino is a great experience before a show
IT IS. Thoroughly enjoyed doing that before Silversun Pickups. And after. Also during.
So this is interesting. In the US we apparently can’t do shit for ourselves
This is from Anthropic AI’s September report
We’re a pathetic, lazy, but somehow still very dangerous, people
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udLeOOy6em4
I have a feeling this is a function of everybody and their dog not only having access to AI shit in the US, but having it constantly popping up when online. “Would you like to use AI for that? Would you like to use AI for that???”
It’s more annoying than Clippy ever was.
“We can’t do shit for ourselves? I couldn’t disagree more!”
-line cooks in Cincy making Skyline Chili
I thought we covered this last night with Chat GPT’s “how do I fuck a girl?” ad. Or maybe that was Monday. Whatever, time is a flat circle.
I’d like to point out that I’m in a position to go from Champeenship to relegation. Those of of you more well-versed in Prem lore-there must be other examples, right?
Leicester City was pretty close, I think.
MASON MILLER: [throws eight straight strikeouts]
MASON MILLER: [hits a guy in the leg with a pitch]
PADRES MANAGER: [yanks Miller]
Aaron Boone is managing the Padres?
Oh thank god.
Okay, stupid question:
The Cubs do know they don’t have to play tomorrow if they win today, right?
The difference between me and Raccoon was that he had Dak on Sunday night who exploded with 30 points, while I caught up on Monday and only lost by 5 points, which is like one fucking play.
That pretty much defines the fantasy football experience.
RIP Jane Goodall.
(and again, Death, there are SO MANY more deserving candidates)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9i1JceMef4
Tyreek Hill wouldn’t even have been that hard to catch, for crying out loud.
https://bsky.app/profile/diannarussini.bsky.social/post/3m23eki55hs2a
Apparently a dislocated knee is very bad because of all the ligaments that go ‘snap, crackle, pop’ when the knee dislocates.
Tough break for Tyreek, the kind of guy who absolutely deserves it.
SURGEON: His eyes are moving. Is he…is he still awake?
ANESTHESIOLOGIST (who is also the parent of a small child): Whoopsy-doodle, I must have forgotten to turn on the gas! Gosh, what a terrible mistake that would have been!
Is he displaying how many women he’s beaten (this year)?
No nerve damage? Shame.
/Me, checking the results of my waiver claims this week
The worst part about the new “Nimbus” variant is that it owns the police.
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c3rv3y9jnryo
But does it result in a enlarged crotch bulge?
Are the two leagues scored the same way? I kinda assumed they are, but I don’t really know for sure.
Scoring should be the same, Litre sent me the Freezer Vodka settings when I started Lowratio League.
There’s something different. Lowratio has no fractional scoring except the half point for receptions.
Yes, keep the math simpler for the slow kids league.
Ah yes, as is consistent with my normal fantasy football experience, The Hunters of Renfrow have scored the second-most points, but LEAD THE LEAGUE in points against, being the only team in the league whose opponents have scored over 400 points in total. That’s an average of 39 points more per game than the first place team.
Do we have some award named after Brocky I can win, at least?
i hate the match up loss, where you would have won against everyone but who you were against that week. That’s my sweet spot in ff.
I was lucky to beat Blax; if he’d lifted a finger to replace an injured Purdy he’d have won (and my points against score would be *even worse*).
I was lucky to beat Blax
-LAPD has entered the chat.