It’s Your Thursday Night NFL Divisional Tussle!

If you could just ignore the injury report this one is a gang-banger. But the world wasn’t created by an ever-hating God (the evangelical Christian one) to make us happy so here we are.

Flotsam and Jetsam:

-(That’s) Ok, Boomer: I’m guessing that folks in that demographic are paving the way for Roger Craig and Ken Anderson to get into The Hall of Fame. Probably doesn’t make up for the real estate market imploding but baby steps. We all know the drill-Anderson was an MVP, four-time Pro Bowler and finished his career 6th in passing yards and 13th in TD’s. (pet peeve of mine is why aren’t there more references to where players stood when they retired? This is what they did against their peers when everyone was playing the same game under the same rules! Any football fan in Craig’s era would have been delighted to have that guy on his team. He just racked up the yards in an era when field position was still the be-all end-all of coaches’ thinking.

-From the Hard To Believe file: If Aaron Glenn loses this weekend he’ll be the first, first year Jets coach to start his career 0-5. Rich Kotite? Adam Gase? Bruce Coslet? What the hell?

-Commies Daniels insists he’s ready to play this weekend.

-Shield Strikes Again: Do you like parity? This is one of only two games this entire weekend that features two winning teams going at each other.

To The Game!

Niners/Rams:

-San Fran is being held together with baling twine and Flintstones band-aids-Purdy, Pearsall (another bullet wound, smh) and Jennings are out and Kittle is still gone.

-Put The Load On Me: Needless to say there isn’t much past McCaffrey-he leads all rb’s with 31 grabs for 305 yards and no doubt he’ll get plenty of work. Thing is, heavy workloads lead to injuries and the fella is prone to that sorta thing.

-Davante chased the bag with the dollar sign on it, playing for the Raiders and Jets and watching his numbers and rep take a dive. Now that he’s on a functional offense again, rumors of his demise have ebbed. He’s grabbed a TD in three straight and seems to accept his role as #2 to Puca.

-San Franny’s tight end-any guess as to his favorite Second City character?

-I’m both impressed and befuddled that the Niners Kendrick Bourne is still in the league. His reputation is that he’s one of the league’s best blocking wide receivers (you didn’t think there was such a thing, did you?) And that’s all well and good when you’re toiling away on a moribund Pats team. Last week he was asked to grab a few balls-he caught just the one and dropped three others.

Do your thing.

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Brick Meathook

Currently streaming on Amazon Prime:

The Third Man, Casino, Casablanca, The Los Angeles Rams, Goldfinger, Muscle Shoals…

Gumbygirl

I never remember I have it, until about an hour before the Thursday night game.

Mr. Ayo

Kickers are too good

SHAN’KLOR has something to say about that

LemonJello

HAIL SHAN’KHLOR FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW

King Hippo

I just realized I watched that placement, but failed to register whether it was good or not. WHEEEEEEE, I’m an old!!!

LemonJello

Need more PukaPoints!

Unsurprised

The best part of watching the Spanish version is the crowd shots of the Mexicans in the stands. WE DO EXIST!*

*You couldn’t waterboard me into being shown on TV in either team’s colors.

LemonJello

Lights dim in neighborhoods around the datacenter hosting ICE’s Facial Recognition AI as it spins up to full power

Unsurprised

I love how there’s one key difference between these two entries

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Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Also, what in the ChatGPT slopping fuck? “Draughted?”

Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
Horatio Cornblower

If that Frodo is the same chimp I’m thinking of he belonged to a family/tribe of chimps that preyed on other, unrelated chimps, slaughtering them and leading Goodall to document that chimps also engaged in warfare.

I wonder if they also vote against their economic interests?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The primary difference is that these creatures actually were injected with tracking devices.

Doktor Zymm

They must get great 5g reception!

Gumbygirl

Worship the fattest, stupidest one in the troop?

Brick Meathook

They whack off a lot.

jjfozz

Bear with me on this one.

Setting: my wife, my son, and my self are trying to figure out what he can do for his service project. (He goes to a Jesuit school.)

My son: “Why do I even have to do this?”
My wife: “Because it’s what good Catholics do.”
My son: “Oh, I thought they hated Jews and Muslims, that’s what your good Catholic mom does.”

I walked into the other room, fist pumped, almost choked on my laughter, and then came back into the room to issue a very lackluster reprimand.

Unsurprised

“You’re right, but still go fuck yourself”

Unsurprised

This is literally a text shortcut on my phone. That is the smartest fucking thing a Jets fan has ever said or will ever say.

Senor Weaselo

I take offense to that last part! Unless it’s Jets related in which case I’m probably losing brain cells any time I’m coerced to give even an iota of a fuck.

ArmedandHammered

That is the definition of no fucks given and one brave kid. I’d still be picking up teeth.

Bogdanski

I went to a Jesuit high school too and spent my two weeks of volunteer time at a day care. It was fun hanging out with the kids. My friends that did retirement homes, hospitals, and food pantries were haunted afterwards

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I did mine with kids whose moms had taken Tylenol during pregnancy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Stayed in touch with the kids; a while later we did a project together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6ZWlLFArfw

Unsurprised

Is that the one where the students were almost all Asian IRL and in the movie it’s whiter than Scandinavia in winter?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, the DFO Insiders were executive producers and had a heavy hand in the casting process.

Last edited 5 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Bogdanski

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Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

This would just devastate SoCal, to lose this proud Thursday night contest! Balls has been dismayed into SILENCE smh

Brick Meathook

Life out of balance, dude

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jjfozz

This commercial, with the two blonde sisters, for Visa Sapphire Reserve, who the hell are these two dumbasses?

Unsurprised

Podcasters

King Hippo

I don’t like them, but respect for at least being conventionally attractive!

Senor Weaselo

If I had a bet for first RBI in this game, I would have lost it by not betting Amed Rosario.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCcBiAwp9nc

herodotus450

They should start taking sponsorships for the two minute warning, but the brand also gets to pick when the timeout takes place. The 7 Eleven 7:11 Warning, anyone?

Jimbo

Motel 6 warning.

Senor Weaselo

They leave the lights on for you. So after the Motel 6 Warning they turn the lights off.

King Hippo

We’ll leave the roaches out for ya!

litre_cola

These are the RAMMITS we know.

LemonJello

Fatty Sackford just waddling around out there, having fun!

LemonJello

Heck of a catch there by Turd Ferguson!

jjfozz

Because every 105 pound labrador thinks its a lap dog

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litre_cola

That good dog can sit wherever it wants!

jjfozz

Without a doubt the most unique dog I’ve ever owned. my wife has spoiled her rotten. also, if you say, “Kona, watch tv”, she will stare at the television and bark her head off.

King Hippo

Does she growl at Lamar!?

LemonJello

Mike Vick gets serious side-eye.

Horatio Cornblower

911 Willimantic, but it’s just a bunch of bored people calling in to report another hooker ODing on fentanyl

Mr. Ayo

This game is going exactly as everyone expected. Only in reverse.

Redshirt

It finally happened; 2025 broke Reality.

Redshirt

Wow, the graphics for the latest Madden video game looks amazing. I could swear it really looks like Mac Jones and the 49ers are embarrassing the Rams.

fleshwound_NPG

he looks good. a team like the patriots should’ve drafted him.

litre_cola

Mac Jones is running this offense better than Brock.

LemonJello

Q-B-Controversy! clap clap clapclapclap

Redshirt

Shadeur Sanders mouths along.

jjfozz

this song is beautiful and it makes my heart heart:

https://youtu.be/Vj0Yz6q3zEk?si=D5osF4hI1B89FDMK

Horatio Cornblower

An Eyetalian liking a song by a gal named Sinead?

Now I’ve seen everything.

jjfozz

As I entered the dating part of my life – with a vengeance, mind you – i developed a yen for Irish girls, which there were plenty of where I grew up. you grow up with swarthy and hairy and for some reason you want pale and freckly

jjfozz

There was one girl, Allison, who had this auburn, bronzed red hair. I literally could not talk when she was around. found out many years later she thought I was cute. fuck.

King Hippo

Hey, at least you didn’t lower yourself to Protestant filth amirite??

Horatio Cornblower
Unsurprised

Hey, wait a second …

Brick Meathook

Have you ever seen a man eat his own head?

No?

Well I guess you haven’t seen everything.

LemonJello

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jjfozz

Actually in the movie Hannibal, he feeds one character’s brains to him, so you could do that. i’ll get back to you.

Horatio Cornblower

Ray Liotta, and I did see that, so I have in fact seen everything.

/producer whispers something about “Tijuana donkey show” in my ear piece

I’d like to correct my statement about having seen everything…

LemonJello

Maybe RAMMIT focuses on CMC tonight?

Horatio Cornblower

Find something you love to do as much as the Yankees love stranding runners in scoring position with no one out and you’ll never work a day in your life.

Redshirt

That explains why the Reds kept loading them up only to leave them on base.

Horatio Cornblower

They overachieved this year. Francona’s a very good manager, doing more with less year after year.

/glares at Aaron Boone

jjfozz

An excerpt from Jane Goodall’s will: “Please don’t monkey around with my corpse.”

Redshirt

“Don’t have the monkey sign-language my eulogy. He has a dirty mouth.”

Doktor Zymm

“there’s nothing for everyone to go apeshit about”

Brick Meathook

“My Memories of Ms. Goodall”

by Simba

It was a warm evening in the Tanzanian jungle of my youth when I first encountered Jane Goodall. She was bathing naked in the stream, sudsy soap bubbles glistening on her moistened flesh, and as I pulled out my

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ArmedandHammered

I cannot stop laughing.

Bogdanski

…durst and had the blurst time ever

fleshwound_NPG

that is the best looking tricky 7 yard gain ever

Bogdanski

Padres game 3 was not rocking. Boo bastard man small bears!

fleshwound_NPG

small bears are the grittiest bearscomment image

jjfozz

congrats to the fuckos in the government, half of my coworkers are furloughed and the Marines I work with are doing so without pay.

LemonJello

Who has two thumbs and falls into the furloughed category? This guy.

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Still going on vacation Monday. Fuck all politicians with Satan’s barbed dick.

jjfozz

Sorry to hear that, it’s absolutely insane that these fucknuts can’t figure out shit so people won’t be furloughed.

litre_cola

Oh that is awful. Enjoy the hell out of your vacation.

Bogdanski

Hopefully you won’t be one of the perma-furloughed

LemonJello

That anxiety is probably why I’ve been an insomniac most of this week.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll take you to Applebees if you get furloughed.

Redshirt

Bonus Army II?

LemonJello

.30-06 rifles are scarce on FB Marketplace right now for some reason

LemonJello

The Legend of White Mac tonight?

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jjfozz

I’m here, you may all kneel and avert your gaze.

Thank you.

You may rise.

King Hippo

At least in the winner half of the pool, I have the Qards. Ain’t no way THAT backfires smgdh

Gumbygirl

Bullshit call.

fleshwound_NPG

Yankees pitcher Cam Schlittler

or…when Operation Barbarossa conquers a Taco Bell at 3am and the spoils of war are expired and stale chili cheese burritos

dmiller
Mr. Ayo

Got my tickets for Games 1 and 5 of the ALDS.

🔱🔱🔱 Up! Beat the choking 🐯!

fleshwound_NPG

touchdown jake tongues

tongue
litre_cola

Skyy Moore td 12 to 1. That guy looks in no way like Skyy Moore.

Gumbygirl

Somebody needs to tell the Rams the game started.

LemonJello

They’ll pick it up once their fans arrive.

Sometime in the 3rd quarter..

King Hippo

Toonces! The driving cat…the cat who fucks up Hippo’s Loser Pool…

Horatio Cornblower

Watching Yankees-Red Sox and really just hoping both teams have fun.

Mr. Ayo

Me too. Fun eating that meteor heading their collective way.

fleshwound_NPG

that kick about made al stroke out

Gumbygirl

If only.

Jimbo

This guy said Mac Jones is better than people realize, is he high or drunk?

Doktor Zymm

High, munchies

Horatio Cornblower

That’s a pretty low bar, though.

“Hey, Mac Jones got through the whole game without literally shitting on the field!”

Me: Huh, better than I thought.

Brick Meathook

The Cubs are going to drill the Padres to victory.

fleshwound_NPG

cubs relievers are gonna dril the padres to victory

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King Hippo

I would have encouraged this w\ith a hale and hearty DRILL BABY DRILL but I see the fixture has already ended.

My only concern with baseballing at present is my shit list:

  1. Bastard Man Small Bears
  2. Dirt BOLTMEN (Shildt factoUr)
  3. SAWX

Just leave the tournament, I give no fucks if the other fuckadoos win.

King Hippo

Changed my “Loser” pool pick to Tomsulas (when will I get to use THEM again, plus having previously been on the Donks at Philly I just felt itchy), so hopefully RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! leaves the lube at home.

King Hippo

Have y’all notice Hippo makes poor life decisions? Hippo, he NOTICE.

Unsurprised

Nice stems

King Hippo

Fucking Dirt BOLTMEN! You had exactly ONE JORB

Gumbygirl

.

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litre_cola

For the love of all things we need a Portlandia skit(s) about Trump sending the troops in. Please Fred Armisen make it so.

The brunchers, the lesbian bookshop, the farm to table restaurant people. It could be gold.

Unsurprised

Nobody cares. Even the ICE protests aren’t much of anything. It’s not going to affect brunch. All the liberals that the show was about are 100% checked out.

Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
litre_cola

I knew we had a Portlander here. Couldn’t remember who. So why is he singling out your city?

Bogdanski

He saw a clip of the protests from four years ago and either doesn’t know it’s not current or thinks it’s still going on

Gatoraids

CMC musta watched It Follows in the offseason and started fucking rest of his teammates. so far seems to be working lets see if holds up

SonOfSpam

That was a fucked up little film.

Doktor Zymm

If the Rams don’t comfortably win this I will declare them to be clownfrauds

litre_cola

Zymm we have the future on RAMMIT, you must believe.

Gumbygirl

I believe.

Doktor Zymm

I mean, I’m pretty sure I’m nawt gonna have to declare them clownfrauds

BeefReeferLives

Um……

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