We’ve got four on this slate which is more than acceptable, just the one dud so that’s nice.
To The Games!
Bucs/Seahawks:
Seattle’s offense seems a bit schizo. They have more runs for loss and no gain than anyone else and you kind of think of them as a rushing team. (or is that just The Carroll Hangover Effect?) Vea will help them add to that number. With respect to passing Darnold leads all of his peers in yards per attempt at 9.1. So the guy that no one fully trusts is holding the Seahawks together right now. According to the Bucs own metrics, Baker is tops in getting a result out of an extended play, meaning that he finds his third and fourth options more often than anyone else.
Lions/Bengals:
I didn’t look at the O/U knowing it should be sky high. Amon-Ra is on a heater with 6 TD’s already but I’ve the notion that Jameson is good for a couple few long-ish scores today vs what some may call a Cincy secondary. Whispers about Browning may grow louder after this game, ignoring the fact that he’ll have played three excellent defenses in spelling Burrow.
Commies/Chargers:
LA has some problems aside from the fact that they were handed an L by the Giants and a rookie QB making his first start. The o-line is missing both starting tackles for a period of time. Washington gets Daniels back but no word on McLaurin yet.
Titans/Cards:
Cam leads the league [checks notes] in being brought to the ground by defenders. Arizona is 5th in pass rush win rate. That spells trouble. Cards have lost their starting RB two weeks in a row so either Carter or Demercardo has to step up. Or maybe both. The Titans are 3-18 ATS under Callahan so you know where your money is going.
Do That Thing.
“Cam can take all those hits.”
Meanwhile, FuckTomBrady had a zebra force field around him for twenty years
browning shooting himself in the foot with a browning
Oh. my God. That’s Russell Wilson’s music.
Fuck you Zach Chardonnay you vulture. You are added to the chardonnays that I hate.
-oaky
-buttery
-Zach
Well, now it’s a game.
Two of the most insane, idiotic rules in the Catholic church:
If you go to mass before 2 pm on a Saturday, it doesn not count towards your Sunday obligation
If you get married outside – meaning out in nature – it is not recognized by the church.
Also:
If you’re wearing clothes, you are teasing the priest and inviting him to bone you.
I keep checking my freezer vodka team like poking a bruise
The last time Commies got bailed out this hard was when the PRC crossed in the Korean Peninsula
Please allow me to introduce myself-I’m scotchy and have a 6% chance of winning in Freezer Vodka and a 4% chance of winning in Math Hard!.
Lots of Commanders fans in Seattle. “Fuck it, I’m furloughed I’m headed west.”
it looks hard to disagree with that “We ass” self-evaluation
Had a window rattling discussion with Mrs Fozz today.
Sorry to hear that.
So, typical Sunday at Chez Fozz.
Yes, except no pasta for some goddamn reason
Were you checking the window locks to make sure her mother couldn’t break in?
Trey Yesavage sounds like the name Kanye West uses at the John Birch Society
BANNER
I am the banner, and I say BANNER.
ArmPunt by Browning.
Jake Browning is a broken man.
He’s named after one Ohio team while being slowly crushed to death by the other. His life is pain.
BLEERGH says you can’t dance if you want you and you can’t leave your friends behind.
NO BLEERGH LEFT BEHIND
Denied a Safety Dance!
“Awww.”
-Lowratio
DET is my D/ST in Maths is Hard too, GUH
SAFETY DANCE…
…DENIED!
Indelible Prickstains have a chip and a chair after all.
/until MNF, when Rev. has Brokeback and Hippo has The Drake
Last time I saw a Jewish starter this ruined, Uncle Ed used the decades old challah bread as spackle
They are doing a 50th anniversary thing during halftime, and of all the top-50 legends they could have put on the mike I’d rather have had literally anyone else.
Better be a Dan McGwire cameo
Sadly no
Did Todd Marinovich play there?
Washington is coming back!
So… does this mean we can fire Aaron Boone yet?
Fire everyone.
Bailout flag in favor of TEN! Turning point of the season.
Vladimir Guerrero sounds like a Never Trump Republican’s worst nightmare.
Phrases I have heard from my wife’s friend over the past two conversations:
deep state
dark forces
cabal
Phrase I have said about this friend
“She’s crazy as fuck.”
“You’re right, but still go fuck yourself”
It’s like a human I/O error.
You need a safe word for us to come rescue you, if your wife/her family send you away to re-education camp.
Either a word, or you’ll hear the explosion from wherever you are. Fuck these people. They’re fuckign clueless fucks.
This is stolen from someone else but I can’t wait to respond to someone who says the moon landing was faked-
Me: “Hold on -you think the moon is real? Seriously?”
Always escalate.
I did that last year with my Lyft driver who was full on microchips in the vaccine, TikTok is hypnotic black Gen Xer.
“Oh, dude. It’s worse than that.” I freaked him out about the social media secret A/B testing on teenagers, that the execs don’t let their own kids on social media, that they feed the government everything, they would know the outcome of the election months before us (And they did). And the funniest thing is that it was all true.
I like your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter. I’m fuckign doing this next time
Deep State sounds like when Happy Valley finally discovered anal.
BANNER THIS MAN!
Did the Commanders regress?
not shocking that the hegseth purge had a negative effect on dc commanders
Lotta injuries
This stupid game
Bengals receiveth and they giveth away.
It’s too bad the game doesn’t live up to the quality of the jersey.
It IS like how it would be when these two squadrons played in the 80s, to be FARE
(Oprah voice)
YOU GET A BUBBLE SCREEN! YOU GET A BUBBLE SCREEN! YOU GET A BUBBLE SCREEN!
Come on, give us the fumble. We’ll be giving it back to Detroit in three plays or so.
Oof
Wow. Crotch shot on a 15 foot screen. I think he’s circumcised
“Taylor Swift? I Knew It!”
-The Usual Crowd of Losers
“The Doora” just scored for the Lions.
/excuse my Spanish-it’s a work in progress
Italiano?
Me scotchy, you Shaka, When The Walls Fell?
Go big kitties
Justin … LIKE LIGHTNING
Yeah, that’s what I figured would happen…
Is it blue because all the Bengals fans are so sad?
Crime is getting out of control!
Death penalty
Que TEN sea competente. Amén
/hits White Label 😛
Eat shit Philly!
John Elway, always dignified
only threw it to AJ Borwn so he’d get crushed under a pile, impressive
Hippo and Other Hippo can unclench, DONKS WOO!! with the W.
Dramatic ending
Creamsicles look awesome live.
Tampa Bay and Seattle can start using these jerseys from now on and no questions will be asked.
Yeah it’s a good look both ways
I’m having vanilla cream beer in their honor(?)
the missus highly recommends the Peaches and Cream Tillamook ice cream we got this week
Yes, that’s a good one. The Huckleberry one is great too. I was disappointed with the last one I got from them. It had little chunks of pretzels in it, that didn’t work at all. The ice cream was fine, but the pretzels ruined it.
.
Leading the league in finding 3rd and 4th options. Does that mean the 1st and 2nd are covered? Does it mean the protection is good enough to keep reading options? Or does it mean absolutely fucking nothing.
You just hurt the feelings of a person that has to watch every Sam Darnold pass at least 25 times and provide a detailed report about every one of them. Are you feeling good about yourself, sitting high and mighty in that Walmart hammock?
FALSE ALARM
im just stupid.
I get the feeling the Dallas defense may have checked out of this game.
Pirates of the Puget Sound
Los Angeles, this morning
https://ibb.co/23X2TL8R
Now just stick bass and Newsom inside the wicker fireman
I love my seats.
Last Time on Cincinnati Bengals football (Artistic Interpretation):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfgjzdhdNVc&pp=ygUVcGV0ZXIgZ3JpZmZpbiBuaWNrZWxz
The bag of pennies signifies cheapness
“I don’t understand. Why would you use precious pennies when you can just get a bunch of sand at the beach for free?” – Mike Brown
Cost of fuel/fare to get there.