Good morning peoples! Are we bright-eyed and bushy-tailed? No, huh? Let’s get going.
To The Game!
Vikings/Browns:
-I have to say it-this has all the makings of a low interest, low-scoring tilt with two struggling offenses and one above average D.
-Neither team has played the same o-line in any of their four games so far.
-The Vikes will be without three starters there including center Ryan Kelly who is on IR having suffered two concussions already during this young season.
-Not Helping: That moribund Cleveland offense has had 9 dropped passes so far-Jeudy has 17 dating back to the beginning of last season which naturally leads the league.
-Fresh Blood: Here to hopefully kickstart things is rook QB Dillon Gabriel, not the other guy that reporters love talking about. Gabriel, the angel of revelation and good news in some tome whose name escapes me at the moment, says that he likes to use his, “legs as a weapon”. That’s something that was far beyond Old Man Flacco’s skillset. So look for the Browns playbook to open up a bit with some RPO action and rollouts. By the way, he’s the 12th signal-caller to start in Stefanski’s six seasons. (he’s been around that long?)
-The Browns have scored all of 56 points this season and have put 17 or less on the scoreboard in nine straight.
-Thankfully they have a stout D that has allowed a mere 2.9 ypc so far this year. Only twice have they let a ball carrier run for 9+ yards so far. That’s incredible.
-So if you’re in my boat and have to start Jordan Mason or Mason Jordan, well, best of luck and here’s plenty of dump-off passes!
Do your thing.
MANDATORIUM update – despite my specioUs authority, I must note that if this game goes to Extra Time, one may choose to watch RedZone and/or their local network broadcast instead (once 1p kickoffs start).
Minnesota doesn’t give a damn about your so-called authority.
#MeToo
Gimme a JJ score pretty please (I want time to shower for RedZone)
Save it for a (shudders) commercial break.
jj scoring is how mary ann got herpes on that episode of good times ppl forget that
“Come on guys, let’s Brown this up…”
a). Vikings fans expressing how they would like to see Cleveland’s defense perform during this two minute drive OR
b) Stephen Miller looking over the results of a raid on a Hyundai plant
YOU MAKE THE CALL
Definitely some smoke inhalation, unknown how many or how bad. Unsure if everyone is accounted for; confirmed some pets are still inside.
Yeah, I’m making the news again. More to follow as it develops.
Might not be a bad idea to toss a couple N95s in the nightstand
OK, I checked in to this game, forced the obligatory “Vikings Getting Beat In England Old Timey Battle” joke, no I’m checking out for some more yard work and a trip to the gym in a futile effort to defeat Father Time, then I’ll be back for some hot early game action.
Oof. Way late, but. Checking in. I passed out during the F1 race. Kind of a snoozer.
Browns appearing to be cromulent will never not be weird.
They’ve been okayish off and on, this just means T-minus 2 or 3 years until their next major off season blunder
Their defense if very good.
Their offense, eh, not so much.
If Michael Carter starts to produce the way Trey Benson was supposed to in the AZ lead back role, is there any chance we can nickname Benson “Mick Shrimpton”?
THAT FIELD GOAL ATTEMPT I CALL IT TODAY’S AMERICA, BECAUSE IT TOOK A HARD SWING TO THE RIGHT AND NOTHING GOOD IS GOING TO COME FROM THAT!!!
Pissed off Justin Jefferson is a force of nature
I have an important question: Why are the Jets favored over the N-GCP? Even if it is at home?
Me picking the Cowboys in the Eliminator challenge is worth at least a 2-point swing in favor of the Jets.
Trying to buy the Cowboys a win, eh? I’m trying that with Raiders/Colts, though my pick isn’t nearly as dangerous to my Eliminator hopes.
No, I took the Cowboys to win. Very risky, but I figure there aren’t going to be too many times this season I can take them with any degree of confidence.
Also if I didn’t take them I would have taken the Rams over the 49ers, so I’m already doing better than I should be.
Oh, whoops – I misread.
Two words:
Lawn Jart
I’m guessing it’s because cowperson fans have lost all hope and this is the only way they can get a decent amount of action on both sides of the line
Rodri out. Wasn’t grabbing the bad knee, but judging from the look on his face he’s definitely got some type of shpilkis in his genechtagazoink.
Real shame that either of these teams has to win. #MostGlorioUsDraw
So dumb that they’re thinking of redoing the OT rules again just because some people don’t like ties and were upset at the glorious 40-40 scorigami
It’s CRAZY. Draws are fucking fantastic.
I haven’t seen a Viking go down like that in England since Stamford Bridge!
Don’t worry, I’m sitting on a Lindisfarne joke too, but the Vikings need to start winning.
Monk robes ARE frequently Brown, but I think the Lindisfarne raids predate the Franciscan order and they probably had black robes
I think Lindisfarne is around year 800 and St. Francis wanders onto the scene in something like 1200 or 1300.
My early Franciscan nun teachers would give my knuckles such a whack for not knowing exactly.
I looked it up. Francis died in 1226, so I probably only get reprimanded for being kind of off by potentially 74 years.
Don’t fool yerself, you’d still get your knuckles whacked.
Too true, too true.
Welp, I guess Flacco can go back to retirement and Sanders can move back to his dad’s basement. I think the Browns QB situation has been settled for now.
Deion pictured below.
Good God, I’m going to have my second fire in ten hours, and this did not sound good. I just had to audibly instruct a woman to get the fuck out from the eighth floor. She was panicking, couldn’t find the door from the smoke.
Thankfully, she got a staircase and worked her way out. She’s okay, but not sure with the whereabouts of her aunt and uncle, also on the eighth floor. There was shouting, alarms, and sirens in the background. This was the real deal.
I don’t ask yinz for much, but take a second to appreciate what yinz have, and pray for those who don’t.
Three alarm blaze already.
Time to head out and re-stock the THC supplies. And possibly get something to eat, but it is not a priority.
I need to get my morning walk in, but I’m trapped under the cat.
Trapped under the cat- The Autobiography of Kristen Cavallari
Fuck me, what a fantastic picture.
Keeping giving it to Ford, he’s bound to break down.
“Giving it to Ford” was the working title for a series I was going to write in parallel to Ginny McCaskey’s “On Joining the Century Club” bit.
I thought Flores was supposed to put Gabriel in a blender.
Los Angeles delegation (Glendale subdivision) reporting as present.
I’m late! I could have sworn I set my alarm last night, whoopsie doodle
You were as excited for this game as a Hindu kid on Christmas morning!
Hippo frowns from North Cakkalakky
When His Majesty stays up and watches the entire Sunday night or Monday night games, then he can judge me waspily. Until then, neener, I say. NEENER!
Tough but fair.
I’ve been here since pregame. I was just doing my Shadeur impersonation.
We’re just here so we don’t get fined.
My sleep-falling during Persons/Packers has removed every last scintilla of Hippo’s moral authority.
This Newsome II cornerback kid on the Browns, maybe he could run for president instead of Gavin. Seems less annoying anyway, and he could get the sympathy vote being on the Browns
I see Cam Akers scored a TD on probably a trick play, but part of me is hoping it was just the Vikings teasing Shedear Sanders by having a running back get their first TD pass before him.
I call these Vikings well Vikings because they are leaving their dead on an overseas trip to the British Isles.
Brosmer for the Broskis
Dakota Jesus will rise again.
That’s what these games need moar fucken in-game ads. NFL is shooting themselves in the dick.
On our feed the commercials are so much louder than the commentary.
Supposedly those clowns in Congress passed a law that kept ad companies from doing that here in the US, but I’ll be damned if I notice any difference.
What a bunch of clowns.
It’s just another one of those laws that the DOJ under Trump has chosen not to enforce. Like all those pesky insider trading and bribery laws, or the law that says “don’t rape children”.
But the poor owners need more money!
“Amazon and 4 and their Own McDonalds Yard Line.”
This would be the luckiest point any side ever managed to scrape. WOO!!!!
4th and inches, O’Connell is a soft fuck.
He should sign up for HIMS they have something for that.
Been reading about Portia spiders. They hunt and eat other spiders with quite sophisticated and adaptable hunting techniques
“If a mature Portia male meets a sub-mature female, he will try to cohabitate with her.”
Apparently these spiders are also libertarians
Portias are also the sleekest of all the spiders.
I found Portia DeRossi quite hot.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Have we not heard from 2pack in a bit?
He is retired now no?
No ref ball for the first quarter of international games. Goodell moving into interdimensional disgrace territory.
I could be easily convinced they drew that play up solely to annoy the fantasy football universe.
Akers, Oliver, Fannin Jr?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V0TYIO6yv4
Playing Sharkbait this week in Lowratio.
He has Fannin starting at TE, and I’ll bet he’s as surprised as the rest of us.
Woo! Trickeration.
Dat wasn’t Dakota Jesus!
Yes, moar to Jefferson por favor.
I bet on the Vikes, do I need to go put my Wentz jersey on?!?!
Is it made of hair?
It’s no Kolb jersey, which got much respect in LA, Zymm can attest to that.
Not Prime Jr. didn’t seem very fazed by that vaunted “Flores Defense.”
Anyone else getting serious early-career Zeke Elliot vibes from this Judkins fella?
I thought that he looked quite small actually, his past is very Zeke-y.
He’s a solid fantasy pickup
Huh, for some reason Amazon thinks I really really want to buy a giant bag of xanthan gum
Xanax gum maybe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0LZxpEt1WM
Like Mr. Brownstone, exposure to The Pauls is toxic to one’s health.
It’s a lot easier to wake up for this after a few days on east coast time. That being said, my other task today is to change lightbulbs for my parents and I’m looking forward to that moar than this game
I changed a buncha lightbulbs for my dad yesterday. Fun trying to explain to him that a 60 watt bulb isn’t a thing anymore.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fq3SfauwzgQ
Who remembers this masterpiece from Prince?
Strange looking Titan, must be for the Noise Legions of Slaanesh.
For example:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/kr9C2b6bpxQ
Dillon Gabriel is a weird-looking dude. Can’t put my finger on exactly why, but he just seems…off?
Here reporting for duty. Seems piss easy for the East coasters, 930 am is a breeze.
Yeah, it’s a parent thing. I can’t even imagine a morning where I could sleep in past 9:30. My brain would be shouting at me at full volume.
Deci has never once in 8 years (yes he is 8 now) gotten up past 7 30 am ever.
Emma (my oldest) was like that until teenage years. Then, you couldn’t wake her up with an earthquake.
I would have sworn he was like 4. He can’t be 8, because I’m certainly not 8 years older since you had him.
I got up at 10:42. I make no apologies. Sleeping in with a dog curled up against you rules.
What does prime jr have to do to get in the game?
lip sync The Iliad, in its entirety
In the original Greek.
Días. Caribbean delegation reporting, awake since 4 AM. So shrimp spaghetti in 45 mins. counts as lunch. Looking forward to napping during the early winda.
Awake since 19:30 last night. Still another four and a half hours of work. Coming back at 22:00 for more, too.
Don’t let it be said this Yinzer doesn’t earn his pay that’s already spent two weeks ago.
The sadness you must deal with your employ must be offset at least a wee bit but the buffoonery you get calls on too no?
Junkies who call to report their dealer ripping them off never fails as a pick-me-up. Hasn’t happened for a while, now that I think about it.
Perhaps before my “weekend” starts Tuesday morning?
The MANDATORY nature is really just all the (imaginary) friends we made along the way!
/there is also Everton/Palace for one’s 2nd screen “enjoyment”
Mornin’
F1 in Singapore is about to start, too. NIGHT RACE
“You mean those indolent fellows who boast a swarthy complexion?” – Cecil Rhodes
TCO WCS, still at me post.