Live From Thursday: Lightning Crashes and So Do The Jets

And Pete Carroll is on record saying that Building 7 was brought down by forces pulling from the center of Earth again.

Flotsam and Jetsam:

-Biting The Hand That Feeds: ESPN has tossed out a story that the NFL filed a grievance against the Players Union because of the annual report card report. I’m a bit surprised given that these guys are partners now so investigative reporters at the WWL are just a rumor. My guess is that it was dumped in their lap by a whistleblower and they had no choice but to air it.

-Given the large Latino community that is in Florida, the Fins want to be the team of Spanish-speaking folks the world over, hence the game in Madrid. Or so goes the thinking. You Spaniards that are leaning towards embracing the team? Be prepared for increased usage of the phrase “DIOS MIO!” 

-Jameis Winston has been given the green light to start for the Giants this week. I’m thinking 300+ yards, 3 TD’s and 4 INT’s including a pick 6.

-Fantasy projections are wonky at best but I’d like to give a shoutout to MATH HARD! and its love of Jordan Addison. In his last three games he’s totaled 35, 28 and 46 yards. Overall since his return from suspension his projection has never been below 24 points. Every. Single. Week.

To The Game!

Jets/Pats:

-It’s so little but it’s not nothing-since Glenn decided not to announce the Jets starting QB the Jets are 2-0. However, when Fields is healthy he is under center.

-Now the last time he was out Fields passed for an un-whopping 54 yards and 42 of them were due to a swing pass to Breece Hall for 42. His prop tonight is 134.5. Maybe take the under? Maybe? Never tell me that I’ve never done you a favoUr.

-At 8-2 the Pats have equaled their win total over the last two years. A win tonight would put them at 3-0 in the division and well ahead of the 2-2 Bills. I love being the bearer of bad news.

-Bench Breece Tonight: New England’s rush D is the best in the league-no running back has reached the 50 yard mark yet this year.

-The Drake is on pace for 4,300 passing yards, single-handedly dragging the likes of Kayshon Boutte and Kyle Williams into fantasy relevance, sorta.

Perhaps we could name Pete Carroll’s favorite conspiracy-related cover bands? Mine is Steely Beams.

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Redshirt

Welp, this one’s over.

LemonJello

-The Epstein List, et al, when offered a seventeen year old victim.

Redshirt

Redshirt: “Betting Gods, I have been moderately blessed this afternoon and I praise thee. But if I can somehow get five Drake Maye carries this drive, I would…”

(Betting Gods slam door shut; muffled laughing is heard on other side)

blaxabbath

Justin Fields.

How does this guy keep getting starts?

Redshirt

Yet another GM/HC/OC that sees a player with a skill set and goes “I can work with that”.

BeefReeferLives

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LemonJello

He’s still got the CFL and USFL to go!

WCS

**UFL

herodotus450

He’s been on the Bears and Jets, go easy on him!

Redshirt

So, I have only seen one pass play, but based on that play, I can infer the Jets Offensive Line hates Justin Fields and wants him hospitalized.

Redshirt

(turns on TV; sees Patriots jerseys; hits top of TV with fist)

“Come on, TV. At least last to Black Friday!”

Sharkbait

These jerseys are ass.

Redshirt

(sees reaction to Seahawks 1990s throwbacks)
(sees reaction to Buccaneers Creamsicle throwbacks)
(sees Red Throwbacks in closet)

“Nah, let’s just dull the colors and add silver for no reason. “

ArmedandHammered

” Forces pulling from inside the earth” aka “gravity” you jackass? Stick to coaching you dumbfuck.

LemonJello

“That’s what Big Physics would have you believe, sheeple.”

ArmedandHammered

Maybe he and the ICP can hold a symposium on those mysterious forces – gravity and magnetism and how the fuck they work.

Gatoraids

“Forces pulling? Tell me more”

  • R Kraft
Unsurprised

I spend more time reading RW Twitter than all of you and I can’t come up with better conspiracy puns than you all have.

Last edited 3 months ago by Unsurprised
LemonJello

I haven’t seen Patriots taking down Jets like this since those videos of the Ukrainian air defense of Kyiv

Sharkbait

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Unsurprised

That bad?

Downfield Matriculator

Congrats to all of you with Henderson on FF team!

Downfield Matriculator

The entire Jets enterprise appears to have been assembled by post-merger Boeing.

Gatoraids

if true then all their game refs would have died like rest of the whistle blowers

Unsurprised

The refs are the bagmen who kill the whistleblowers

WCS

PRAISE BE TO SHANK’LOR

Unsurprised

Fuck! That Oura ring ad made me check and I think I could have gotten a letter of medical necessity for my Apple Watch.

Unsurprised

So many dropped balls.

LemonJello

-Camp Counselor at the Catholic Summer Camp for Boys

Unsurprised

That’s what I was looking for

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Perhaps we could name Pete Carroll’s favorite conspiracy-related cover bands?

The Jack Ruby Tuesdays

BeefReeferLives

Bennie and the Jets Fuel Can’t Melt Steel Beams

LemonJello

The Flat Earthers, Wind and Fire

Not to be confused with The Hollow Earth, Wind and Fire

Last edited 3 months ago by LemonJello
BeefReeferLives

The Byrds Aren’t Real

Downfield Matriculator

Doobious Brothers

LemonJello

The Ben Ghazi Orchestra

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We also would have accepted the Benghazi Folds Five

LemonJello

Goddammit. So much better.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You are the wind beneath my wings…

Gumbygirl

This one is my favorite. Don’t tell the others.

Unsurprised

That must have been a messy band split.

SonOfSpam

Pet Shop Boys Who Are Trafficked By Wayfair

BeefReeferLives

parenthetically related: The Ping Pong Pizza Shop Boys

LemonJello

My Chemtrail Romance

SonOfSpam

The Jesus Lizard People

BeefReeferLives

Paul Is Dead Can’t Dance

BeefReeferLives

FEMA Wants To Steal Your Crowded House

jjfozz

The Replacement Presidents

WCS

911 (as opposed to 311)

311 Is An Inside Job

Last edited 3 months ago by WCS
LemonJello

Kenny 5G Caused COVID

WCS

The Epstein Island Boys

SonOfSpam

Huey Lewis and The Fake News

LemonJello

The Wu-Han Clan

Redshirt

I look forward to reading all this again on Tuesday.

Gumbygirl

OANNarama

BeefReeferLives

Velvet Underground Is Where The CHUDS Live

blaxabbath

Anti-Vax Halen

LemonJello

The Brain-Dead Kennedy

blaxabbath

The [Muslim] Presidents of the United States of America

BeefReeferLives

Has the [ ] cuz it wuz a SECRET

blaxabbath

Death Panel for Cutie

blaxabbath

Faith In The Government No More

Last edited 3 months ago by blaxabbath
Doktor Zymm

Chinese Lab Escape Plan

Doktor Zymm

Fluoride in the Water by Deep State Purple

LemonJello

THESE JETS RECEIVERS, I CALL THEM B-52s IN VIETNAM BECAUSE THEY ARE DROPPING BOMBS ALL OVER THE PLACE

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That drop by the Pats player was pretty weak, too.

Unsurprised

They’re not hitting their targets but at least the B-52s were still killing g—

/B. Parcells is yanked offstage

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Why are you even on an NFL roster if you can’t make that catch?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I know, I know, it’s the Jets, but that was really pathetic.

LemonJello

Jack Reacher and Paul Blart in action together? Its the buddy movie we didn’t need nor ask for.

Unsurprised

What is more disturbing is that the algorithm looked at the Prime data and said, “Yes, it is.”

Gumbygirl

I’ll tell you whut, motherfucking Diggs better start motherfucking Diggsing, or I’m gonna order shame pizza and eat it in the bathtub.

LemonJello

Like a fuckin’ lady!

Gumbygirl

Fucking A!

jjfozz

Me: “Yeah, I want this song played at my funeral. Actually there are a lot of songs I want played.”

Wife. “Well, you should make a list and give it to our oldest, he can put it together.”

This post will serve as proof if I get killed under weird circumstances and my wife is sitting around looking innocent and going through my wallet.

Redshirt

What makes you think we haven’t made a side deal with Lady Fozz to get a piece of your estate?

LemonJello

I imagine the reading of Fozz’s will will be absolutely Thunderdome – all interested parties enter, one victor emerges with the whole estate.

Probate by combat!

Unsurprised

Or the youngest Fozz implements the plan to murder of all the family’s enemies and consolidate power over the mid-Atlantic

LemonJello

The Foxborough supervolcano can erupt at any time now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Jets’ mother apparently told them that the best way to get Mack Hollins to stop bothering them is to ignore him completely.

NotShogunButShogun

It’s the dog park… it’s the dog park…
Curse you progressive.

jjfozz

Just tuned in, did the equipment manager for the Patriots spill too much bleach into the washing machine?

Unsurprised

Well, Gronk did stop by

jjfozz

“Well, after he got that money he was spending it like a drunk [hard N word].”

A direct quote from my ultra Christian Trumper mother in law.

Not sure Jesus would approve. I sure as fuck didn’t and told my wife to either rein her in or next time I’m not going to be even the least bit nice.

Redshirt

I REALLY hate Christians like that. Her Savior, that she spends so much time talking about and no time listening to, doesn’t even look like her! If anything, He resembles that “drunk -“

IMG_2450
jjfozz

The more devout a Christian tells you he is, the bigger a judgmental asshole you’re talking to. Fuck them.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Perhaps we could name Pete Carroll’s favorite conspiracy-related cover bands?

Bon Ivermectin

LemonJello

Immigrant Pet Eaters

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Unsurprised

Imagine losing to this asshole.

ArmedandHammered

Definition of loser.

Mr. Ayo

The Peggers are going down

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

TNF en español!

Redshirt

That was a quick 1st Quarter.

Unsurprised

When Drake took the field I thought for a second “Dolphins are playing?” because of the uniforms.

Who the Hell wants to LARP as the Fins?

Don T

Personal foul, roughing a loudmouth, 15 yards

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Perhaps we could name Pete Carroll’s favorite conspiracy-related cover bands?

Uzz Baldrln and the Sound Stages

LemonJello

The Byrds (Aren’t Real)

Redshirt

Touchdown, NOT Breece Hall? Dang it, Jets..

LemonJello

P*triots equipment manager getting fired for bleaching those uniforms.

Redshirt

What…in…the…

Did someone curse them or take away part of their life force? Why for the faded?

Unsurprised

Happy now, fuckers?

I sat down just at the kickoff. Yay me. I also called an audible on the meat since I have a carved up turkey breast to work through.

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Last edited 3 months ago by Unsurprised
Don T

😛

Redshirt

I have some reservations about the chicken, but protein is protein.

Unsurprised

It’s turkey. Not made from real Turks.

Unsurprised

protein is protein

That’s what she said.

LemonJello

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Unsurprised

Shockingly accurate

Redshirt

With more nachos.

Unsurprised

Done and done

Redshirt

Jets looking shockingly average.

Last edited 3 months ago by Redshirt
Unsurprised

So does the F-35 until it gets wet.

Don T

Jets looking good in those BMX-green helmets

Don T

I dint wanna say snything before, but I’ve been ready for some fitbaw

WCS

71-49 Cousinfuckers over Pitt

WVU moves to 4-0, Pitt now 3-1. Also stops a two-game Pitt winning streak in the series.

Why, sure, I can keep going… but, I won’t.

WCS

Pitt just T’ed up twice in 35 seconds. It is 66-45 WVU, with 3:55 to go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62HeMEBhURQ

Redshirt

How do you get two technicals in 35 seconds? Did the coach not only question BLEERGH’s mother’s promiscuity, but used his playbook board to illustrate it?

WCS

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Last edited 3 months ago by WCS
Unsurprised

At least I got my flu and Covid shots.

Horatio Cornblower

I used Kayshon Boutte to fill out my roster during Tampa’s bye week and he rewarded me by tweaking his hamstring and leaving the game without doing anything.

Probably a “take the under on my targets today, boys” scandal, now that I think about it long enough to just make things up.

Unsurprised

This game sucks and it hasn’t even started. The pregame is abominable.

Last edited 3 months ago by Unsurprised
Horatio Cornblower

The Good Grey Lady does not come out of this looking good. One of their finance reporters was tipping Jeff off about investigations.

Unsurprised

I understand why they do but I wish people would stop treating the times (or the post or the journal) as honest or legitimate.

I have lived my entire life understanding that every institution is corrupt and illegitimate. Using that to feed my internal bullshit instead of just focusing on myself so I could have enough money and people around me to fuck off from caring is so fucking soul destroying

Last edited 3 months ago by Unsurprised
Don T

Conspiratorial cover bands, eh?
https://youtu.be/b3yG_zTjvv4?si=Udo9mRn2pOeIouMV

Last edited 3 months ago by Don T
Unsurprised

Jesus, Gronk is on the screen, Kill me him.

Unsurprised

Fuck

Unsurprised

I accidentally have all the components for nachos but I’m too depressed to make them.

WCS

comment image

39-25 WVU, 6-0 run to start the second half?

Redshirt

In an Alternate Universe, Jameis Winston has been starting with the Bengals instead of Joe Flacco. Winston, Chase and Higgins has set multiple NFL records in passing and receiving, the Bengals have the 2nd and 4th highest points scored in an NFL game, and, yes, the Bengals are 2-7.

WCS

Half those wins? Stillers, baby. #Standard

Redshirt

Uh, no. The two wins are from Burrow. Pittsburgh won 78-77.

Horatio Cornblower

Is Mike Trout on the team?

SonOfSpam

KEEP HIS NAME OUTTA YOUR MOUTH

/winds up to slap Horatio
//slips, slaps Lowratio instead
///Lowratio cums, moans “Ohmigod, it’s not even Friday”

Horatio Cornblower

You’re cleaning that up.

BeefReeferLives

Hope to be wrong, but this game is looking like yet another flaming bag of dogshit left on Jeff Bezos’s doorstep by Goodell & Co.