TGIF! The end of another year. How joyous.
Word Count Filler Time
In honor of some missing apes around here, let’s talk about apes escaping.
Los Angeles Zoo: Evelyn
The zoo though an enclosure that was used for bears would be sufficient for gorillas. Well, Evelyn had other ideas. She got a running start, leapt and grabbed a vine to swing over the 15 foot moat. Evelyn then took a tour of the park playing hide and seek with the zoo keepers. The zoo raised the walls on the enclosure, but Evelyn was still able to escape regularly. The zoo finally gave up and sent her to the Denver Zoo. Where she still found ways to escape.
Los Angeles Zoo: Jonathan
Yep, these bozos again. This time they build a state of the art enclosure for Jonathan, an orangutan. They were so proud the held a grand opening event when Jonathan would first be introduced to the enclosure. They watched in horror as Jonathan quickly uprooted a tree, leaned it against a wall, and climb out of the enclosure.
Kansas City Zoo: Joseph
Joseph was Jonathan’s son, so the Kansas City Zoo knew it needed to find a way to keep Joseph in his enclosure. They laid electrical wires around the enclosure that would give Joseph a good shock if he tried to leave. Well, Joseph just took an old rubber tire he was given and laid it across the wires and walked to freedom. It wasn’t until visitors encountered him the petting zoo that they found out he escaped.
That’s enough escaping for today. Let’s move on.
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Sexy Time
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
Being drunk without purpose or in private fucking sucks.
I love(d) getting drunk alone. That is/was a big problem 😉
Finally got that domestic violence call. She was freaking out, driving away hysterically. Took a while to get her actual location, but the police got her. They’re on their way into the boyfriend’s apartment now.
She checked off every possible abusive relationship marker you can thing of.
Cripes, I hadn’t even finished that above when I got another. Two inside an hour, sandwiched between an armed robbery at a gas station.
This isn’t very Christmasy, yinz jagoffs.
An armed society is a polite society
Second bottle of red is dead.
/dismissive wanking motion
I just remembered Amy Adams as Amelia Earhart in Night of the Museum 2 had a GREAT ass.
The Air and Space museum has one of Amelia Earhart’s planes and it was always my favorite exhibit as a kid. Need to visit that museum again soon, I always end up not going because the line is too long nowadays. One of my high school friend’s fathers rented out the museum for their company holiday party and I got to go. So awesome
That would be awesome. I’d like to visit the annex with the SR-71 out in Virginia.
Stupid tailwind, flight will only be 7 hours and 12 minutes. Better drink my champagne quickly!
And we’re pushing back late to accomodate the shorter flight time so I have time for 2 glasses of Krug before takeoff 🙂
The sleep suit is comfy, and I’ll be having the Bollinger with the chicken satay after takeoff. Certainly can’t complain, amazing that I can get all this with points and like $200. I love Singapore Air, and also Singapore (although would be nice if they got rid of the caning and death penalty, but it’s not like the US can really talk there)
Sunday Gravy idea – chicken satay! (or beef or pork or veggie or tofu, the satay is the key)
Noted.
Went to the gate too early cuz I was bored, now I’m walking ina circle until boarding. Woo, circle!
It’s about 1 minute per circle
1 PM tomorrow. I’m teaching a pasta making class.
I’ve got up to 4 students.
They better bring wine!
Nice! Have fun and tell us if you get any hilarious students!
I have a pasta maker I haven’t used yet. I really need to break that out.
I’ll walk you through the whole process.
I was tempted to get one for the missus that attaches to the stand mixer, for Christmas, but 1) I don’t give appliances as presents, and 2) neither one of us are huge pasta fans anyway.
Not as a present, but a while back we bought an attachment that makes cube steaks. Now that I mention it, that might be on the menu next week.
You’ve taught us all so much for free, I hope you’ll get paid for this. Or at least a lot of wine
Thank you for reading.
Word on the grapevine says there may be a season 12.
The fuck am I doing?
Beef wellington?
Bradley Cooper is Will Arnett as Marc Maron in Is This Thing On?, in theaters Jan. 13.
With Peyton Manning as “Laird” because of course.
1) Related to last night’s post: Melena now has a handful (*rimshot*) of hardcore videos up. It truly is a Christmas Miracle. Although technically there’s a HJ/BJ video she made when she first began under the first Obama Administration, but this is in 4K and so forth.
2) She still has a first ballot Hall of Fame ass. Not as great as Katya Clover, but nobody beats the GOAT.
3) A bunch of Portland strippers operating under the moniker Tatas for Toys has. to date, donated approximately $138,000 in toys. It will remain a cold day in Hell before I ever visit a strip club here or anywhere because what’s the point.
4) I’m drinking cheap wine and remembered as I was looking for a glass the joke that when the Starbucks trenta cup was unveiled that it just happens to hold the contents of a wine bottle in fluid ounces.
5) IDK. I just ate a ton of toasted cheese and bread.
Cheese toasties, hell yeah
The best toasties are in Ireland.
Now I want a toastie.
After all of yesterday’s football, today I wanted to fix the snowblower. The carburetors in those things just get all gummed up, and a new one is $20. So I started working on it, and I broke this little guy: Cub Cadet Commercial 951-11112 Choke Control Bracket. The whole carburetor was $20, and this guy was $40. So much for that project.
I got a 3D printer for Christmas, and I spent the afternoon setting it up. Easier than I expected. Only fought me a little bit, and I didn’t even cut myself in the process.
It’s running now; the first month or so you end up printing all the stuff they didn’t put in the box. You know how when you’re learning a programming language it’s traditional to write “Hello world”? Meet Benchy. It took about 20 minutes and it lets you know if your 3D printer is working.
Weird looking gun.
As per usual, can’t find the man in the boat.
Ah, nuts. I had a $10 prop bet that Balls’ first reaction to this was going to be “Does it print butts? Make it print a butt!”
Butt
Can you print a choke control bracket now?
I was just about to say be prepared to get promoted in Frau Doktors squad..
That’s a good to have talent.
The thought did occur to me, but no. It sits right above the throat of the carburetor, and has a gasket there, for reasons. Maybe it could be made with engineering filaments, but not the plain old PLA I have.
Yeah, you’re not supposed to use that stuff for high temp aiplane parts either, as some guy found out
We’re only expecting a Favre amount of snow up here tonight. Just enough to be a pain to have to deal with
Light bourble of course actually means passing the fuck out time relatively soon because the light from the lappy is fucking with my head. I’d say baby steps but alcohol tolerance is not exactly the kind to build.
How do you do it? I mean, like, physically. It doesn’t seem possible.
I’m like 90% Eastern European, we’re born to it
Austria-Hungarians, unite!
I’m mostly Irish. I think that’s what does it. Also the hockey. That’s gotta play a role right?
Same as the Dok, except different ethnicities.
Being fat as all holy Hell doesn’t hurt, either.
You have to want it.
Being 75% Irish doesn’t help/hurt.
Drink through the pain.
Genetic disposition to addictions of all sort; alcohol and rage-ahol among the foremost
Oouuu, a police chase! Stolen Shitsubishi backed into a cop car as well. This could be interesting.
Two of the dumbasses have broken legs. The others ran, two later caught at gunpoint.
What’s the vibe on the Washington State Police lieutenant getting carjacked in Seattle by an unarmed dipshit?
TBS airing a true Christmas/New Year’s movie classic: Independence Day.
Was just looking at the radar to decide whether to go out and shovel, (signs point to ‘no’) and was checking out the weather in Vermont, where Cornblower Spawn The Eldest lives.
Reminded me of the time we were playing our regular poker game and the news broke that one of the players was dating a stripper. Someone asked the guy who broke the news what the girls name was and he said “I forget, one of the state capitals”
There was a pause and then one guy said “Montpelier?”
For the record her name was Austin, although I suspect that wasn’t her real name, or that she was just working her way through school.
Montpellier is a GENIUS answer.
I howled.
Glad it wasn’t Pierre
Or Bismarck.
It’s so easy to remember those two, our own little European drama going on in the Badlands
I would have guessed Juneau.
Little Rock
Maddyssyn?
UTSA coach definitely took the Over.
Maybe he just loathes FIU?
Took the dogs for a walk around the edge of False Creek today. Lambeau was looking quite fetching.
When we had our chimney repaired we had a wood-burning stove put in, since it would theoretically heat the whole first floor, instead of just the living room while the rest of the house slowly became encased in ice, since the thermostat is in the living room.
We’re getting actual snow tonight, (possibly as much as 6″! You wish, Deanna!), so we took the new stove on its maiden voyage. All the smoke alarms upstairs started going off, even though there was no sign of smell of smoke.
So I did what any responsible homeowner did and took the smoke alarms down and put them in my car. If I never post again, you can probably guess why.
Dibs on the TV and couch.
Who gets Lowratio?
Probably the fire department
Does he need boarded? How does that work?
I can fax over the union regs.
You’re gonna want to change the toner now.
Carbon monoxide detectors?
Aw shit.
/opens all the windows
//freezes to death
We had a fire last night and I pre-emptively took down the nearest smoke alarm. The cat gets very upset with me when they go off.
Cat and the dog are why they’re out in my car now.
They will be back up before I go to bed. I think the issue was likely Mrs. Horatio having the door to it open when it was getting started, combined with the fireplace/chimney not having been used for about a year and therefore the draft needing a few minutes.
At least I hope it was, because if this happens again the people who installed it are going to get a very rude Yelp review. And probably a call.
…
UTSA just kicked a field goal to make an even 50.
That’s the kind of pettiness bowl games are good for.
SO MANY episodes are on YouTube!!
https://youtu.be/7pe5lxhsT4s?si=8HelwY6J22UU-oWg
Big fat quiz was excellent. Now it’s on to Taskmaster Champion of Champions
The flights and rooms for youngest right and littlest right and favorite niece and her husband are booked.
There still may be a Disneyland trip.
Jesus.
https://youtu.be/tDzrMn3SBeY?list=PLFi9V6EFsFImHKEho5B34IsIM9HHaICOc
Apparently, as a first responder, I can get free tickets to the ServoPro First Responders Bowl that is currently being played in Fort Worth, TX.
The caveat is one has to get there themselves, as well as any room and board. They left that part out.
6-6 UTSA is juuuuuust squeaking past 7-5 Florida International, 47-20…
Nice to know you could go if you just happened to find yourself in Fort Worth for some reason, like maybe you only get to keep an inheritance if you spend a week in a horrible US city or something
Hey. They have good steaks in Fort Worth!
They have good steaks lots of places, most if not all of which are better than Fort Worth
Can’t imagine why you passed this one up.
Good evening all! Shut down the lab for the year (phrasing makes me feel like the break will be much longer than it actually will be) and building lego light house and Millennium Falcon with the kids. Possibly drinking. Good times
You put your lab into stasis too? I always find zey are frisky for ze winter sports once thawed. Also much hair in ze cooling ducts.
Just turned off all the equipment that stays on the rest of the time and draining some instruments.
And moving the monkeys from the controlled environment indoor cages to the one acre free range space out back. We can’t all have a volcano lair.
Would love to have a doggo like that, skates and all
Say Hallo to Bobo for me!
I’m at the airport way too early, lol. Security is open but the border check is not. I blame the German train system for being on time even in under liberal democracy!
Those guys are way too organized to be a true democracy.
It’s a country full of autists
I’m goin for a ride with lady number 10 here today. Thank you Sir.
The match ended successfully. A clear defensive struggle.
A touchdown, a field goal, and a safety. Perfectly balanced!
Fuck it, we might see some minor Weaselo bourble tonight. I drank my last beer from LAST Christmas, and Padre Weaselo bought ginger ale so rum and gingers (with the rum Don T bought me, what, 3 years ago?) until I’ve made a noticeable dent in the ginger ale.
And Taskmaster.
Don’t get too bourble without locking away your phone and switching to a computer for commenting purposes!
Yes. Phones lead to unfortunate calls….
I’m not gonna call her. If anything I’ll text her if/when I move to let her know, or if the Nocturnes win the title, for Teddy.
I have never gotten blackout drunk!
Because I throw up first. Since Padre Weaselo is also here I have to skirt the line, as I also don’t want to do that.
Handy, sorta!
I’m impressed by your forbearance. My Don T rum lasted four months, tops.
It was at her place and we didn’t really stay in and drink the last few years. Or go out to drink much the last couple years.
What I’m saying is I haven’t drank this much in a while. Which granted is a pint of beer and a weak rum and ginger.
You’re an animal, Señor.
I am watching the CBC right now because WineWife has the remote, and Madness is on tv playing a medley as some Royal Performance at the Royal Albert Hall.
That’s one step beyond what I would be listening to…
We’re certainly not going to be listening to that in our house, which is in the middle of our street.
He was discussing that exact location when I photographed my TV.
How the shit are we two calls in, and both are somehow for misused medications? Not even good ones, antifungal and an antibiotic. You can’t get buzzed on athlete’s foot meds!
When I took medicine for high blood pressure, I would ask the doctor “If I take this whole bottle of pills at one time, can my blood pressure get so low that I’ll implode?”
The doctor’s answer was noncommittal.
I take meds for blood pressure and was recently prescribed something else that “may lower blood pressure”. It lowered the shit out of it. Not quite a buzz but plenty of headspinning. Probably won’t take that again. Kind of concerned the doc even prescribed it
I always ask the doctor if it’s gonna make the Pink Floyd sound better.
If you took a bunch of bottles could it get so low that you compress to a singularity when you implode and take a little piece of the fabric of the universe with you creating a Brick Hole?
Not with that attitude.
Manassas Battlefield, Virginia
https://ibb.co/Mx3Nhd6f
The first one or the second one?
Same place both times.
I swear I’m a secret English person. I loved being just outside of London when I was there. Pub culture is awesome, and Im crazy into panel shows. In fact, I’m about to watch The Big Fat Quiz of 2025
Have you watched Would I Lie To You?
It’s our newest fave show.
Yes! I love Lee Mack and David Mitchell
I’m rewatching Series 11 (it’s the one the ex-Senorita Weaselo’s sister showed me to get into the show in the first place). Lee Mack is phenomenal and only my 3rd favorite person in that series (behind Mike Wozniak and Charlotte Ritchie).
We should do a pub quiz at DFOConUK
The Michigan Wolverines suffer their first loss since naming Kyle Whittingham as the program’s next head coach – A to Z Sports
(looking down from Heaven)
Dadshirt: “Wow, I never knew how much my son could enjoy the suffering of others this much.”
Seamus: “You didn’t know Redshirt like we do.”
Poppieshirt: (laughs) “Stupid Wolverines!”
Evening
Could also use this for evening gloves
Kinda an and/or situation
You forgot high heels
Reminds me of a stand up bit I once heard (I’m paraphrasing here):
“you do NOT have a thing for women wearing glasses! You have a thing for conventionally attractive women. If some of them are wearing glasses, that’s a bonus!”
Rex Ryan:
A generous Professor Weaselo has submitted grades, so the semester is officially over.
Hope you’re feeling alright, buddy.
I never had a chance to respond the other night. Hang in there; you’re always welcome here.
+1 for the taskmaster gif.
It’s keeping me sane.
Love the first pic
You don’t love ALL of them? What are you, woke?
Fellas, is it “gay” to like boobs?
Technically, if you’re a woman…