All before the Big Boi NFL takes over this evening (with scotchy in command). Such fun!
Do give the Afrikan Euros a watch (BeIn has Murrikan coverage), along with whatever fare is served on NBC, USA, and Peacock – starting with Men Untied hopefully battering the Robins Hood (7:30, USA). I absolutely hate myself enough to stream Everton/White Lives Matter at 10:00. Can you do less???
I think we can all agree that the worst aspect of modern culture is fat and/or ugly people in advertisements. FUCK OFF, #NuMadMen, if I want to see fat and ugly, I’ll leave my glasses on when I am shaving. With no further ado, here is today’s exhibition slate:
JV Yinzburgh (-10) v. East Carolina – Military Owl, Annapolis, MD (11:00, ESPN)
These celebrated military powers from the ACC and saying-teh-ACC-is SKURRED-of-them-smgdh finally meet on the battlefield. Obama will surely be THANKED!!1111 Has a kewl theme song though:
Paedo State (+3) v. Clemson – Shriveled Steinbrenner Penis Owl, New York, NY (Noon, ABC)
Good jorb coming up with a Yankees-on-both-sides matchup, where one side is so arrogant and loathsome that Dabo Fucking Sweeney is comparatively the good guy. Also, sommet about lawnmowers I think?
Fightin’ Horatios (+9.5) v. A Bunch of Dudes Named Army – House-O’s FACK YOU Owl, Bahstahn, MA (2:15, ESPN)
A new, Mora-less era awaits the Horatios. Whereas Jeff Monken retains the vocal support of nearly every journalist covering the coaching carousel – but at West Point he remaineth. There will be lots of fullback dives, BUHLEE DAT!
Georgia Tech (+4) v. Original Recipe Big Love – Quasi-Cannibalistic Pop-Tarts Owl, Orlando, FL (3:30, ABC)
Most notable perhaps due to the Papacy’s cold shoUlder, nonetheless kind of a fun matchup. At least assuming Bees QB Haynes King is playing, anyway.
Miami-OH (+5.5) v. Fresno State – Snoop Dogg BlaxLand Owl, Tucson, AZ (4:30, CW)
Bow wow wow, yippie yo, yippie yay, ain’t muthafuckin’ nobody in…da…HOOOUUUUUSSSE.
North Texas (-5.5) v. JV BOLTMEN!! – Blue Meth Owl, Albuquerque, NM (5:45, ESPN)
The Mean Green are fuckshit but offensive FITBAW, while their opposite number are the exact inverse. Could be reasonably interesting, I guess?
Wahoowa (+4) v. Missouri – Meningitis Swimming Pool Gator Owl, Duuuuuvvvvvaaaalllll, FL (7:30, ABC)
We lost saw UVA losing the ACC title game to 5-loss Duke, which is likely the domino that set in motion the great Irish Playoff Famine. For that, Hippo is eternally grateful. Mizzou kept their coach, but not their QB. Likely watchable.
LSU (+2.5) v. JV 500s – Imaginarium Owl, Houston, TX (9:15, ESPN)
God only knows how many Tigers remain in the bayou for this last installment, before Kiffin’s Kajun Kast starts its maniacal run. Vegas favoUrs the imaginary? BIG, if true.
next thread just got going
Well, I am off to the bar where I will watch the NFL games picture-in-picture beneath the Canada-Latvia game. Will report in later.
Hippo ate too much popcorn, and is dehydrated and bloated af. Addressing one problem worsens the other.
“UConn is taking advantage of this loaded box right now”
But enough about how your Dad met your Mom.
Normally Army doesn’t retaliate like that, but if he didn’t Pete Hegseth would have called him a pussy and made sure he was assigned to Nome for the duration of his service.
I did not barely survive X-country skiing for the last two hours to come back and see tackling like that, Fighting Horatios!
(bruised ass, broken ski pole, all bones intact)
Where in the world is Gumbygirl, you ask? You didn’t, but Imma tell yinz anyway. I’m at the Mad Greek in fabulous Baker, chowing down on a gyro. Next stop, Alien Beef Jerky, and then it’s straight to hell, I mean Vegas!
Like a goddamn lady!
“BRING ON THE TARTS!”
– Robert Baratheon, the Whoremonger King but also me, right now
As someone who doesn’t have a dog in the race…
How in cats does Wolves have TWO points nearly halfway through the Premier League season?
Well, they’re not very good.
To liven things up, when they play Owls inside baseball stadiums, one player on each side of the ball (like with “green dot” helmets) should be allowed to carry and utilize a bat.
Nah, that’s how you get COVID outbreaks.
Wifey: “I’m dropping my mother off today, you can relax now.”
Me: “Excellent!”
Wifey: “I’m picking up a six-month old pup that we’re taking care of for a few days.”
Me: “A pup? How big is it?”
Wifey: “Uh, not big.”
Me: “How. Big.”
Wifey: “About 30 pounds.”
Me: “JFC! How did that go with our dogs last time? Not well. Relax? How the hell am I supposed to relax?”
A new bitch to replace the old b-… well, you get it.
I film almost every takeoff I’m on but this is my favorite one so far:
https://vimeo.com/800427502
LAX is a great view in and out
First time I flew into San Diego, guy next to me says, “You ever landed here?”
“Nope.”
“Well, get ready. You’re balls will be in your throat.”
“Um, okay.”
He wasn’t lying.
Circling around Palos Verdes, San Pedro, and the harbor area.
(Note: Venmo is posting weird. If you see a blank spot, just click on it)
https://vimeo.com/695945295
Standby success! Boarding now and it’s even a decent seat!
120 Minutes Playlist Project Update: Filling in some blanks from earlier; this was a lot harder to find than I expected!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZPibSWBCqE
Bahahahahahaha Chelsea!
It warms my heart. Except Hearts lost.
AI answers Hippo query, and disappoints:
AI Overview
There is no official Bible written in the style of Snoop Dogg. However, a “hip hop bible” translation of the New Testament exists, and various online tools can translate text into a Snoop Dogg-esque “Gizoogle” style, which users have applied to scripture for entertainment.
That is indeed supremely disappointing
There’s no official Bible written in the style of Snoop Dogg yet.
Vill-er are level YAY!!
Vill-er are IN FRONT WOO!!!!!!
It’s 25 F here, but feels like 16. I could hole up and watch football the rest of the day, including the Fighting Horatios (those team members and coaches who didn’t have anything else to do and haven’t left the team early, so like 4 of ’em), or I could put on skin tight and not particularly warm gear, get my cross-country skis out of the basement, drive to the nearby State park and, at the risk of damaging several increasingly creaky joints, see if I still know how to use them.
See you from the ER!!
Given the “quality” of these bowl games, I’d go for the cardio and fresh air.
Was wondering if it was just me, thinking these Owls have been way shittier even than most years.
Still can’t believe Pitt is losing to EZU, despite being ref-gifted a net FOURTEEN points.
Nice day then?
Was out shoveling with a toque, gloves and a long sleeve shirt on. Pants too, to not be charged
Damn the Man’s insistence on pants!
You’re going to a place? To do stuff? smh
The refs just seriously screwed over ECU.
And Pitt’s like, meh, we’ll just keep phoning it in
Me, while indifferently watching a 6-6 Paedo State team defend an insurmountable 3-0 lead against a 7-5 Clemson team in the Bad Boy Mowers Pinstripe Bowl (artist’s conception):
I watch the Pinstripe Bowl because of the stadium, and the feeling of “At least I didn’t think about taking the 4 train up!”
Granted, I didn’t go to any D-I school so I don’t give a fuck about the teams. And Madre Weaselo’s St. John’s doesn’t have a football team.
They don’t have a point guard, either.
/ducks
My happy little Singapore Air Bear
I was told all bears were flightless.
Now I’m imagining Winnie the Pooh with a tasting flight of honey
There are some fine Hive-to-Den restos in Hundred Acre Wood.
Let’s take a ride across the Palos Verdes peninsula!
https://vimeo.com/1041266629
Where are the hawt young ladies hitch hiking in cut off shorts and halter tops?
I didn’t even see the word “Brazzers” anywhere in that clip.
Just under two hours from plane door, through CBP, JFK Airtrain, LIRR, NJ Transit, EWR Airtrain, and TSA to the United Club where I’m 2 hours early for the flight I’m on standby for. It’s not exactly rocket science, but I feel very competent right now!
Ciao tutti
It’s the same effect when Litre asks you how you like the Big Turk he sent you in the mail.
The inclusion of the Simpsons clip to this is just * chef’s kiss.
“another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls”
https://bsky.app/profile/jm539581.bsky.social/post/3maye4mu5a22g
The Terminator movies had hope and feelings of controlling your own destiny and The Matrix movies had action, and symbolic themes that can apply to both Christian mythology and the Transgender movement, but man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls had man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls.
You soft skulled Mexican beauty! 6 pts during AFCON with 3 starters away! Huzzah!
Watched 3 AFCON games building Lego yesterday, am on my 3rd futbol match thus far today.
LIFE WELL SPENT!!
“I got a Porsche!”
“I got a Rolex!”
“I got a rock…”
https://www.espn.ph/nfl/story/_/id/47420689/joe-burrow-offensive-linemen-gifts-authentic-fossils-christmas
Appropriate as playing behind them is an extinction event
That does match Burrow’s current mental state.
Then:
“Here are Samari swords, each unique with its own history and honors.”
Now:
“Here are the bones of the long dead, each a reminder that eventually we all will die and return to the Earth from which we came.”
Still top of the extremely creaky table is our Arsenal.
“Nothing like a relaxing morning watching Arsenal play footy,” I say, adding ground up glass to my cereal.
I kinda want someone to redo West Side Story to include Baby Shark
& set in Baltimore, with Ray Lewis as “Stabby Shark”.
I want to redo Grease, and have it end with Sandy telling Danny to go screw himself because no one should have to change who they are so someone will date them.
…or have it end with zombies suddenly attack the Graduation Party to kill everyone. I’m amenable to either choice.
Counterpoint: Sandy changed into a trollop, and trollops are awesome.
Casting suggestion:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:5mrlkwxd4beehhwhomc2csnb/post/3maydfzzwac2s
Marvin: No Chad, you cannot combine the power of a shark with the stealthiness of a cat.
Chad: But what if you could?
After a great flight (where I remembered to get one of the little teddy bears!) I’m now on the JFK Air Train en route to the LIRR. Oh how the mighty have fallen lol
Goddamn the JFK Air Train is a ripoff. $8.50 for a shuttle that would be free at any other airport
What, has Lil Danny “Shitbag” Snyder bought JFK with the proceeds from selling the commies?
“Free??? Sounds like socialism. Gotta charge the proles something.”
$31.75 total to get from JFK to EWR on public transit. That’s some bullshit.
That really is.
STEAL A CAR next time!!
Can’t you rent a helicopter ride for that trip?
“Now hang on…”
Kobe Bryant
I don’t think that makes a difference.
Oh shit, now that you mention it I think I do have a Blade benefit on a card somewhere. Damn!
Ok, not really, I do get 10% off but it still would have been around $500 and not an faster since I would have to change copters in Manhattan
Hell of a goal by Brighton, gotta give them that one.
Also happy they put it into their own net. Charitable, that.
Hey Horatio, I just came across Deep River Snacks located in your state. Is it a fairly big operation? Do they get a lot of regional support?
Not sure how big they are overall but at least in CT you can easily find them in most supermarkets and deli-type restaurants.
They’re pretty damn good, too. The rosemary and olive oil chip was a delightful surprise when I first tried it.
“& just how deep is that river? Might be useful for… certain purposes.”
At its deepest the Connecticut River is 131′, but that’s up in Massachusetts and nowhere near Deep River. The river itself is generally 10′-20′ deep, so figure that for Deep River.
It’s also murky as hell, and a very much affected by the tides, especially in Deep River, so any…thing you dispose of in there is probably not going to be seen again any time soon.
Day After Boxing Day, the day where the non-commissioned officers who went mad with power paid for the actions.
.
it’d be damned funny if the mascot wore a Pope hat today
/also if BYU wins, the edible mascot should be served upon a golden plate obvs
I, for one am grateful that Hippo mentioned the Big Boy NFL tilts in the intro because I had no idea.
You are too LOCKED IN for that big VEP/That’s Rikki’s Raiders! tilt on the morrow.
having family christmas today, so gotta cook and clean.
Bird’s been in its salt spa overnight, going in the oven soon
Need to shovel the end of my driveway and then clean.
Can’t wait for the family drama to start.
Oh and my mom’s coming for the first time in almost 10 years. She’s a snow bird and we don’t really get along.
Will need bourble strength today. Commenting will be optional
Passive-aggressive mode intensifies
Need to warm up my eyes for all the side eye and eye rolls that are going to occur
“Commenting will be optional”
Probably a good idea when around family. I have made some comments that were less than diplomatic…
How can someone not like you? You are one of the nicest Giants I know!!!
Thanks man
We thinks she’s got undiagnosed issues and takes them out on me, so low contact before it was a thing
Still get treated like I’m a teenager, but am in my 50s now. Fun times
Los Pistoleros back on top of the Table!
Yesterday we told my mother-in-law that it was Boxing Day. In the evening she earnestly asked who was fighting and what time the match would start.
I’d have walked into the living room with a cardboard box and asked her, “Ok, are you ready?”
¿Por qué no los dos?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbg5g6KJXFw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iI-oWE_m4Kk&list=RDiI-oWE_m4Kk&start_radio=1
Would have been (even more) great if Paul got his jaw broke on Boxing Day tho
FTFY
Or maybe his brother
Does anybody know what Rhodesia’s record in the Afrikan Euros was? Imagine if we had modern Afrika, except still had Rhodesia around. THAT group would be a spicy meatball!
I’m a Ceylon Cyclone stan meself.
Retro Saturday, the land of oldies but goodies (i.e. repeats)!
Here’s a trip through Minneapolis Airport from one Delta Sky Club to the other Sky Club.
https://vimeo.com/924236601
Snoop Bowl is the only bowl game that donates 100% of its proceeds to local charity.
only orgs dedicated to making money and really not lovin’ hos may apply