Either of these teams could win a first round playoff game. Except for the Steelers. [cries in Giants tears]
To The Game!
Ravens/Steelers:
-DK will be a DNP because he’s DQ’d.
-King Henry has an interesting prop-rushing for 10+ yards each quarter gets you +140 odds. He’s done that for 7 of the last 8 quarters.
-Both coaches are hearing speculation that they might be moving on. Should the Giants have such a problem. smh…
-That Voodoo, Tho: Somehow the Steelers are over .500 despite the O being ranked 26th and the D sitting at 27th.
-There will be plenty of talk about this possibly being Qaaron’s last game but of course nothing will be resolved for months and months because he learned from the very best, Burnt Favor.
You guys can take it from here.
My dad went to Central Catholic.
My hometown has a Catholic school called Central High. They stink in all sports.
Pretty sure you’re dad had nothing to do with that.
My dad never set foot in Montana, as far as I know.
packers bears is on a robber baron’s website instead of free tv
fuck you forever, goodell
Hey, Lauren Sanchez’s fillers ain’t free.
It’s the closest they’d let Bezos get to owning the Commanders.
I hate to agree, but Rodgers has a point about the lack of PI calls.
To be fair, he’s done the research.
“Valdes-Scantling” sounds like some kind of syndrome one would get diagnosed with.
Or is a side effect of xylophagia.
Henry is only washed in the sense that he’s had a shower recently
You going to the Bears game Saturday night? Weather looks like snow during the day, cold and breezy at night (7:00 PM local time start).
Actually, never mind, that sounds shitty.
Nah, I’m in CA for the next couple weeks and I’m not drunk and crazy enough to spend $600+ on Bears tickets
“Shower? It’s not raining.” – Aaron Rodgers
First playoff game on Saturday will be RAMMMMMMMIT at Baby Bryce.
Monday Night will be this game’s winner vs. Houston (whoever that is).
WOOO PLAYOFFS
Insane. The pretend team should always be the Saturday opener.
I think there’s like an 8 year streak of an afc south team playing on Saturday?
I enjoy the understated, well balanced insight that Collinsworth brings to every game he calls.
I wish he would fall face first into a threshing machine.
It’d likely be ass first only because he’d be kissing Mahomes ass all the way in.
Etsy witches…is there anything they can’t do?
https://www.reddit.com/r/raiders/comments/1pxdmqm/i_paid_an_etsy_witch_so_the_raiders_can_out_tank/
well, there is ONE thing they have not done yet
Yes, the Raiders are just gonna fuck up the pick anyway, so let’s focus on that other thing.
This is fun.
Lol Steelers
I have never even had this thought before, but if the Steelers lose this game, I would not be surprised if they fire Tomlin.
I would step over my own mother to get Coach Tomlin to Las Vegas.
Well…maybe not my own mother. Lachlan Murdoch’s stepmother, maybe.
Which one? I vote for the Dragon Lady
Fozz will volunteer his mother-in-law.
That would be a hell of a coach hiring scrum. He would probably end up with the Giants and I would be irritated while Scotchy partied
I think he’d do tv for a few years first
WCS, if you are at work, I assume you will be getting a call from Acrisure where the Steelers offense has murdered Arthur Smith and anyone related to the playcalling in the first half
Nothing yet, but I’m about to leave. My shift is over.
those are the playcalls that get you fired if you dont play for pittsburgh
Oh, Steelers. You have me feeling sorry for you.
lmao
Haha, eat shit Qaaron
Aaron “Chevy Chase” Rodgers
Mrs. Horatio is watching something on CNN about Chevy Chase, apparently designed to make people feel bad for him because no one likes him.
Well yeah, because he has a well-established history of stepping all over people and being a general asshat.
And cultivating quite a decent drug habit
He was nice to me that one time.
So there’s that.
God that was such a weird day
So today was something of a milestone – I was threading (or, in a more accurate way, trying to thread) the sewing machine and having a pretty hard time of it and I tried a pair of the Dr. Mrs.’ reading glasses and they really helped.
I’m getting old, and I don’t much care for it.
I can’t believe how quickly I needed readers. Under a year from just fine to I can’t read shit on my phone.
I’m just gonna drive blind.
I don’t have many outlets left….
I don’t use the sewing machine that often so it was incredibly stark – the last time I used it, I could see it to thread it just fine. This time, it was a major problem.
Mine fell apart last year too, got a pair when my team thought I was angry all the time cuz i was squinting so hard at the screen
That got me laughing hard enough to make the Dr. Mrs. curious.
It was 2 years ago for me. Had headaches after work every day from squinting at the screen all day. With glasses, no more headaches. Now can’t read unless the font size is huge without glasses.
Did good not needing glasses until I was almost 50
Well, Al, let me tell you. Wait, sorry, Mike, let me tell you about this signal caller. He’s got all the arm and brain talent you want in a QB. If he still had Mahomes’ speed he’d be an MVP candidate right now. Just give Tomlin the Coach of the Year award now for shepherding this team to another division title. It’s just a shame we won’t see Patrick for another year.
I guffaw every time Cris talks up DK like he’s the greatest WR to ever play the game and be traded to the Steelers
The guffaw:
“ChatGPT, I want to feel stronger; help me with a pull-up program”
ChatGPT: “I’m an AI program. Get up from the computer and go to the gym, you fucking dolt.”
That pull-up program is going to linger in an untouched tab until the heat death of the universe.
Nope, don’t believe it.
ChatGPT: “That’s a great idea! Pullups are a great way to build strength and you’re brilliant to think a pull-up program would help you feel stronger! According to respected Redditer Lickmyballs, you can buy Pullups for toddlers at CVS for $17.99 a package, should I order some for you?
Scuse me, but my reddit name is LickMuhBalls69420
You’re the one who stole it!
“Aaron Rodgers – Hall of Fame career; same number of Super Bowls as Trent Dilfer.”
– Erin Andrews, to her TV at home
same number of nfc titles as rex grossman!
“Why should I have to change my name/cover my peephole. He’s the no-talent ass clown!”
-Erin Andrews, As recorded changing in her hotel room
Rodgers is falling apart on live TV and I am here for it.
The colloidal silver that’s holding his ligaments together must be reacting with the alkaline yuzu juice he’s been sipping between plays to keep his thetan levels optimized.
I don’t even want to know how you make yuzu alkaline
Easy, you add organic cottonwood ash to it. Duh.
My old boss was an atlanta fan, despite living in Indiana. His main team was rhe Braves, but occasionally he’d talk about the Falcons. I remember in January 2024, the day Morris got hired, I was walking out of the office for the day, I knocked on his door, said goodnight.
me: night bob
bob: see ya
me: you see the falcons hired a coach?
bob: who?
me: Raheem Morris
noticeable pause
bob: …. who the hell is that?
I wonder what bob is thinking now
Tomlin is regretting his “We not a team, we’re a family” pregame speech.
Probably not the best speech to inspire Rodgers
One of my finest pieces:
https://doorfliesopen.com/2020/01/15/love-not-the-wronger/
We could have gotten Rivers out of retirement instead of A.A. Ron doing his own research if we wanted floats like that. Ugh
Rodgers got the sucks!
He’s not going to get more open than that, Qaaron.
I gotta be honest, finishing the season with a 60-yard field goal to beat the Chiefs *and* the #1 draft pick feels pretty good. It’s almost enough to get me up off the couch so I can leisurely stroll fully clothed through the clubhouse quietly murmuring “Mendoza!” to myself.
Not a Malbec guy but great wine region in Argentina,
Don’t be surprised if the Jets come a callin’.
Ngl, I kinda would want Mendoza to pull an eli in this case.
Nothing against you, just, the attractive Hispanic man has put a swagger into IU football that I didnt know was possible, I just want the best for him.
I understand. But with that last name he’s gonna sell a million billion Raiders jerseys.
Most definitely, went to a 500’s v Raiders game in Houston and 3/4 were Mexican American Raider fans. It was the heritage game too! They gave out bandannas.
Don’t trip over the laundry.
The most impressive thing through one quarter of play is that Collinsworth hasn’t mentioned Patrick Mahomes once.
Give him time.
I don’t want to.
If someone snaps an ACL…
who told that guy that #32 was an appropriate number for a guy named “simpson”
probably gonna have to return his white Bronco to the dealership too
If this guy ever turns up at one Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show’s parties that I was only attending in order to ask him to never invite me again I intend to remark “Oh! J. Simpson!”
Need five yards? RUN A THREE YARD CURL
SMRT!
ffs
lol the jets set the record for fewest ints (0)
BUT
they did NOT set the record for fewest int return yards, which is still -2, yep NEGATIVE TWO YARDS, set by…guess who…2024 browns!
the factory of sadness still churning product!
so whos next to fail in atlanta
-Gen. Sherman, July 22, 1864
– Eugene Robinson, February 1, 1999.
Matt Ryan apparently
If that hit would’ve hit him from the side, LAMAR! would’ve blown out a knee.
Falcons cleaning house.
How many seas did you drain to make that image?
Seven is really too many, if you think about it.
If I had my choice the Laptev Sea would get it. It knows what it did.
Just heard Raheem Morris may have been shown the door. EDIT: CBS Sports reported it.
Still waiting for Bari Weiss to cut the story, as confirmation.
Also holds true for the AFC North this year.
Jesus Christ.
“Oh no you don’t; leave Me out of this”
-J. Christ
Truly not sure who I want to win this.
Not Qaaron
HAIL BLEERGH, NOW AND FOREVER
TRACTORCITO!
But BLEEEEERGH!
Terrific start!
PRAISE BLEERGH
If you want any last minute betting suggestions…
LolJets.
Another fun fact: Garret Wilson finished the season as the Jets leading receiver. With 395 yards. Wilson hasn’t played since week 6. Even the 0-16 Browns leading receiver (shoutout Duke Johnson) had 693 yards, and the defense had 7 INTs
SHUT THE FUCK UP CHRIS!
Betelgeuse Betelgeuse Betelgeuse
I used to spend way too much time thinking of how modern psychopaths would figure out ways to torture mogwais. They’d be throwing them out of planes and stuff
Into the ocean?
Into bright sunlight.
… yeah I was into some dark stuff
local business (greencastle indiana) has “RIP NYC” on their sign now
stay mad
stay salty
bitch
Why do they care? Ask them that. If there’s a problem, just tell the Delta Force can evac them to a secure location.
Modern conservative views are intrinsically tied to narcissistic personalities.
They HAVE to be victims, no matter what
The same types who tell everyone else to PULL UP YER BOOTSTRAPS LIBTARDS!!11! SNOWFALKES!!! and then demand to speak to the manager.
Also, green castle eh? Oof thats rough.
My mom lives in Lafayette, (near her hometown) and she used to beg me to move there “because of the crime”
at least its cheap
When I was on public transit in NYC the other day I looked around and saw people of like 5+ different ethnicities and realized that half of America would be terrified and there’s no good way to make them realize how incredibly wrong that is
Guarantee no one associated with that business has ever been to NYC.