This one strikes me a dirty, scrappy, low-scoring affair with the winner losing in the next round. There, prediction is in.
To The Game!
Niners/Eagles:
-Philly finished 11-6 but in a lot of corners of social media it’s as though the wheels have come completely off. Oh, to go through the pain of having a team in the playoffs, yet again, going for their third SB appearance in four years. Perhaps this is Sirriani’s best coaching job ever, holding everything together. I don’t know.
-Not sure how this happened but the Eagles are playing back-to-back home games for the first time all season. I’m guessing that’s an immense advantage to them from a rest perspective. (a large number of starters sat out last week as you know)
-How did McCaffrey stay relatively healthy this season despite those 413 (and counting) touches?
-That D Tho: Fangio’s unit only allows an average of 19 points against and he has line-wrecker Carter back.
-Purdy’s O/U on TD throws sits at 1.5. Given that Philly sports the league’s lowest passing touchdown rate, you may want to stay away from this prop.
-The skinny on 320 lb fatty Trent Williams is that he will pull on the uniform this afternoon.
-From a coordinators perspective, should the Niners lose Saleh will join the coaching interview circuit. Should the Eagles lose Kevin Patullo will be set adrift on an ice floe, with only tar and feathers to keep him warm.
Have at it.
When the fuck did the Iggles secondary turn into dogshit??
Well, crap.
shanahan curse undefeated
kittle ded and they still get a 30+ yard play
man, imagine shanahan if he never had 28-3 hanging over his head
So your kid’s favorite stuffed animal got left behind. You indulge her with AI generated videos and photos or tell her, “Hey kid. Life sucks, buy a helmet.”
How could anyone watch an nfl broadcast and think “we need one more guy in that booth talking incessantly about meaningless goat shit”? Two is already too many, three is like putting two loaves of bread in one bag.
totally believable that the jets would use microsoft copilot for their next draft
I’ve used it for suggestions and layout ideas for PowerPoint, suprisingly effective
There is a LOT more training data for that than there is for the NFL draft, even less when you consider the data quality contributed by teams like the Raiders
The ghost of Eagles Andy Reid almost got the call there.
BLEERGH taketh away the tuddy.NFL HQ intervenes to keep the narrative moving.
He is a fickle one, that Beergh.
[redacted]
(they picked up the flag)
They picked it up! Fun is allowed!
my son had to go to the emergency room this week for testicular pain. all is well but i’ve been yelling “How yer nuts doing?” the entire weekend. His embarassment is awesome.
He ok?
Yup. It wasn’t torsion, which thank God. Thought it might be irritation of a sac that lies above the balls, nope. So keeping an eye on it. (I have also made multiple ‘now playing with yourself isn’t wrong’ jokes.)
i think the massage table in the Ravens’ blue tent was a much higher end model . . .
Is it nicer than the one Deshaun Watson endorses?
I hope that Erin Andrews comes out of her cocoon by the end of halftime. Can’t wait to see her with wings!
My dad stepped one of these when I was a kid, and the goo inside popped out of both ends.
Didn’t that happen to Ginger Lynn?
This commercial for the FS1 shouting bullshit shows can fuck all the way off.
DO YOU LIKE BEING YELLED AT ABOUT WHY YOUR OPINION IS WRONG? DO YOU LIKE GETTING ANGRY AT THINGS THAT DON’T REALLY MATTER?! FUCK YOU THEN! TUNE IN EVERY DAY, ALL DAY! AND NOW WITH MORE CHRIS BROUSSARD, TOO WEIRD EVEN FOR TWWL!
I want Colin Cowherd to choke to death on someone else’s vomit.
Didn’t that also happen to Ginger Lynn?
Lmao
https://nestflix.fun/sports-shouting/
My new second-favorite website!
Dude nearly a pickkkkkkk yoooo
4th down conversion % probably low this weekend, just my guess
Think we’re into negatives by now.
Good news is Kevin Petullo will be fired after this game.
Into the sun?
Atmosphere of Venus.
78 is not really “gone too soon”, it is about human average actually
It’s also a forgotten record speed.
+45
Nods in Brimful of Asha
I had that 45 by Cornershop no bullshit.
Remix version of that song slaps:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0BkP5HDWj0
I had the CD!
+33
I thought the same thing when I heard that. That’s a ripe old age
I’m waiting with bated breath for Erin Andrew to break into a rousing performance of “See My Vest”.
See my vest, see my vest, it hides my longer perky breasts…
Found a funny:
if there’s a hamburglar then it stands to reason that there is [eyes narrow] a hotdoglar
I know a few of them are priests in the catholic church
What a wonderful day this has been! As predicted, Empire Builder James Cook claimed yet another territory, and Lawrence of Duvalia demonstrated that he is not of the same calibre as the Lawrence that helped seize Aqaba! I must say, the more hirsute Lawrence does not appear to be the quartered back that everyone thought he was after he completed his education at Clemson. In fact, at this point, he seems destined to be left off of the Mount Rushmore of Jaguras players. Should the Jaguras stay the course with him, or is it time to seek out a new field general to put in charge?
Prison Girlfriend’s improvement in year 1 of the Coen tenure has been pretty good. I’m cautiously optimistic for year 2. The run defense is solid (as proven today). The pass defense needs a little work – too many times this year receivers were open for big gains.
People can’t stop sending me memes. Fandom is pain.
They had it coming
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mr-GmqA1l1A
HAIL SHA’NKLOR AND ALL HER DOINK-ISH GLORY
All hail!
Eagles fans are hill people who have bits of cheesesteak lodged in their brain stems. An affront to the evolution of homo sapiens, most should be captured and left in the wilds of Kansas with a butter knife and handful of batteries for survival purposes.
DOINKkkkkkkk!!!! Hahaha omg
GO BIRDS
Le DOINK
SHANK’LOR has been amazing this weekend
DOINK says “fuck you, Eagles.”
Seems right that all the pundits said hammer the under.
Fuck Jake Elliot.
DOINK
I don’t want jinx anything, but I would very much enjoy a 53-51 scorigami as our final score.
Hell yeah! Let’s get a track meet going here.
Oh, yeah. Saquon Barkley still exists and is good at footballering.
I mean, Patullo rested him all year against his will. Philly fans didn’t forget that
Of course the Eagles run game got going over the last four weeks: I was out of the Lowratio League play-offs by then!!
Hope this 49ers vs Birds game is Rockingggg!!!
Whaddya think? Could I get a free bowl of soup with this?
For Redshirt:
Or a call from Lindsey Graham.
Colorado Pimp.
You might get a kick in the nuts.
Nuts. I missed a hell of a game. Go Bills.
“How do we stop DeMarcus Robinson?” was the question the DC should’ve been asking.
Well this is an unexpectedly fast start for the Santa Clarans!
WOO no shutout
https://bsky.app/profile/cjzero.bsky.social/post/3mc6ipq66ck2n
That’s a LOT of marmosets.
Lmao that’s funny
Fleshwound, a woman with lots of fur is less likely to hurt dogs than a woman whose fur supply is low!
Perhaps this is Sirriani’s best coaching job ever, holding everything together.
FUCK DA EAGLES
I’m not saying I dislike both of these franchises, but if a meteor were to hit the stadium I’d be calling my doctor 4 hours and 2 minutes from impact.
What about a villain wearing a mask with a bad voice?
4 hours and 3 minutes
Have a stomach virus as does Mrs. Cola, should be illegal for both parents to be sick at the same time.
Go Birds
Sourry, that sucks. Go Birds.
Deciliter goes feral in 3, 2,…
He is strapped to his tablet. Wife has the couch on the main floor, I am in the basement. If the niners beat on them by the half I will sleep.
Not to be an alarmist but this was me and Mrs. Horatio two weeks ago and it turns out we had Covid.
Although from what I’m told this year’s flu is just as good at making you feel like shit.
We have been dodging the flu, my worry wart wife has drenched the entire family in that bullshit hand sanitizer.
You get sick, you take medicine, you lay in bed. What the fuck is there to be worried about?
Princess has it, the Duchess has it, I had it (still a little rumbly), and half the people in here are sick.
Total bullcrap, and I want to speak to the manager.
The last time I saw a pelt as heavy as the one Erin Andrews is wearing RFK Jr. was dumping a roadkill bear in Central Park.
Legal 12th Man Alert!
Getting a real “Cuella DeVille” kinda feeling from Erin Andrews…
Erin Andrews is supporting the Iggles with her Birds of War apparel.
GO NYNURZ let’s not embarrass ourselves too badly
That helps
Curious as to what’s the proper etiquette among Eagles fans when it comes to battery choice for the playoffs.
I mean, it’s definitely a job for D Cells, but do they go with 9 volts just to mix it up?
The corners on the 9 volts are better for cutting through skin. D cells are better for concussions.
D cells feel better in the hand while throwing, though may nawt matter if wearing mittens
You can get a better spin when you throw as well.
I’m thinking 6 volt lantern.
So, what does green bay have to look forward to when harbs arrives? Asking for a me.
I remember those! The Molotov Cocktail of batteries!
A good manager of people. Still has shitty clock management. If he hires a friend, watch out, he will stand by them regardless of performance. Gets a little preachy with the bible quotes. You will get sick of “Who’s got it better than us?”
You can look forward to this:
Packers = Ravens
Bears = Steelers
Lions = Bengals
Vikings = Browns
As I feared
We need to start making green and gold cano pants
Nah man, it’s the playoffs, baby!
That’s the one!