Meet the New Boss, Same-ish as the Old Boss: Tuesday Open Thread

Meet the new boss, same-ish as the old boss

White smoke has been sighted in Orchard Park, and for once it’s not due to a poorly constructed oil-drum-cum-barbeque-grill. In the single most important decision pending in the United States today, the Buffalo Bills have taken a bold and innovative step in…promoting an existing guy!

WOOOOOOOOOOOO consistency!

It’s been a weird eight(?) days in Buffalo since Terry Pegula fired Sean McDermott, exercising his God-given right as an Old White Billionaire to make a vibes-based, hasty, heat-of-the-moment decision affecting the happiness of millions. Sean McDermott, the second-most successful coach in franchise history. Sean McDermott, who raised the Bills out of 17 year playoff drought BEFORE Josh Allen descended from on high. Sean McDermott, who gives motivational speeches citing 9/11 hijackers as models to emulate.

OK, so maybe not an unalloyed negative.

Firing McDermott was a stupid idea, but not an indefensible one. Firing McDermott while promoting the guy arguably more responsible for putting a hard cap on this team’s potential (Brandon Beane)? Indefensible. Firing McDermott without consulting Josh Allen to see if the team really had reached a ceiling? Indefensible. Giving an incoherent, rambling press conference afterward which only serves to confirm that you Do Not Have A Plan? Indefensible. Interviewing King Fucking Lazerface? YA BETTA ASK SOMEBODDAAAAAY if the Rooney Rule got inverted to require the interview of one completely unqualified right wing white dumbfuck for each head coaching position.

So under those circumstances, I’m actually fairly content with the promotion of Offensive Coordinator Joe Brady to head coach. Not only is he Not Philip Rivers, he is not any of the other shitty options that were left over after John Harbaugh settled for the Giants, including:

1. Grant Udinski (still in diapers, one-year wonder, didn’t call plays)
2. Davis Webb (still in diapers, not even an OC, didn’t call plays, is named Davis Webb)
3. Nathan Scheelhaase (didn’t call plays, McVay disciple, too many vowels)
4. Mike McDaniel (insane, tried to get his quarterback killed)
5. Anthony Lynn (was Buffalo’s interim coach who got passed over for McDermott, flamed out spectacularly in San Diego/LA)
6. Anthony Weaver (lingering stench of failure from Miami)
7. Brian Daboll (is Brian Daboll).

Apparently it came down to Daboll and Brady. Daboll was the media’s choice, because the narratives write themselves- redemption story of a Western New York boy returning to where he got famous after getting beaten down in the Big City, offensive mastermind reunites with his greatest masterpiece, etc.

And to that, I say: Fuck. That. Noise.

Fuck the media. Fuck Reddit. Fuck public opinion, in fact. The world is reaping the harvest of what an obsession with storylines and narrative gets us: we are living in Interesting Times alright.

Is it possible that Brady might be a flaming failure? Sure. But Daboll has proven that he is a flaming failure. Freaks out under criticism and pressure. Takes reckless risks with his quarterback’s health. Can’t even inspire rookies to show up to meetings and stay awake. Better to take a calculated risk on the new guy.

Josh Allen seems to like Joe Brady. The rest of the offense seems to like Joe Brady. Tactically, most of his shit works, and has room to grow if Brandon Beane can get the fuck out of the way and give him a sane roster construction. Moreover, I view this as a heartening sign that Pegula realized that firing McDermott (and doing that way) was hasty and stupid. He should keep the culture (which is good!) going, just hopefully without the dumbfuckery that McDermott visited upon us multiple times per season.

Of course, the limiting factor (other than receiver) this past season was a run defense more porous than Justin Herbert’s forehead.* So watch this space for me bitching and moaning when they choose Matt Eberflus or some horseshit.

*That is a legitimate cheap shot, and I apologize. Justin Herbert is my second-favorite quarterback in the league, patron saint of introvert athletes. If Josh Allen ever leaves Western New York, I will put $15 of my own money into the Sign Justin Herbert Fund.

OTHER NEWS:

Can we get a wellness check in Pittsburgh?

As someone noted on BlueSky, Mike McCarthy looks like a Soviet Under-minister of Agriculture who was just told Comrade Stalin would like a word about last quarter’s beet production.

LATE ADDITION:

“It is all those counter-revolutionary beet farmers, Comrade! They are sabotaging the harvest and hoarding!”