TGIF! No hate in today’s post, because we’re all excited for Sunday. HOX!
Word Count Filler Time
When we last saw Jackie Chan he was getting his ass kicked by Cliff in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Ok, that wasn’t real. But Jackie did really get hurt quite a bit doing his own stunts.
Armour of God (1987)
Jackie had to jump from a castle wall to a tree. He missed the branch though, and fell to the rocky ground below. This resulted in a broken skull, shattered jaw, broken nose, missing teeth, and a brain hemorrhage with blood pouring out of his ears. This resulted in a permanent hole in his skull that was filled with a plastic plug.
Snake in Eagle’s Shadow (1978)
Chan had a sword fight scene, but his opponent wasn’t using a blunt sword. As a result, Jackie’s arm was cut open and blood spewed everywhere. Ever the showman, Jackie continued the fight with the camera rolling. The scene, and the real blood, made the final cut of the movie.
Mr. Nice Guy (1997)
A stunt entailed Jackie falling backwards into a wheelbarrow on the second story of a construction site, then tumble out of the wheelbarrow to the ground below that was equipped with mats to cushion his fall. Jackie missed those mats though. He popped up to claim he was fine right before passing out. The fall had dislocated vertebrae in his neck and torn some ligaments.
First Strike (1996)
Jackie had a scene where he was supposed to jump through the rungs of an extension ladder. Well, he didn’t quite get through and instead was stuck in the ladder as it toppled over. He ended up knocked out and got a broken nose for the trouble.
Supercop (1992)
The stunt required Jackie to jump from a building 100 feet up onto a rope ladder from a moving helicopter, with no safety nets or mats below. Fortunately, he made the jump. Unfortunately, the rope ladder smashed through some billboards (excellent planning there folks) and Jackie suffered a broken shoulder.
Rumble in the Bronx (1994)
Jackie had to jump from a bridge onto a hovercraft. When he landed, he twisted his body to avoid hitting a wall, but his ankle didn’t and broke in two places. After the bone was set, Jackie put a sock over the cast and painted it like a shoe and finished filming the movie.
Police Story (1985)
Chan jumped from a handrail to a pole, then slid 70 feet down to the ground. But not before crashing through a glass ceiling then falling onto his back. Sliding down the pole peeled the skin off his hands, the fall fractured his pelvis and pushed his lower vertebrae into organs causing internal bleeding.
Tom Cruise could never relate.
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Sexy Time
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
JD Vance is the only person I know who makes booty calls to Raymour and Flanagan
I’m watching Goldeneye. I still prefer Izabella Scorupco over Famke Janssen. It’s a shame the only other notable movie she was in was Reign of Fire.
Motorcycle chase on channel 7.
Booked a private tour for The Louvre today.
Hope Mr Pickle likes da Vinci.
Holy shit, that’s awesome.
True story time. Went to Europe as part of a high school orchestra tour eight years ago. So there were chaperones (music teachers) from the various schools, but parents could go along with and enjoy the tour (for a few shekels). Anyway, our Louvre reservation somehow got screwed up, and by the time our group was let in, we were told we had like 25 minutes inside. Which, um, ain’t enough. So me and the Mrs took off one direction, while the kid and her friends went the other way. I had to find a “latrine” ASAP, which sucked because we had such limited time. So all we saw was basically Napoleon’s Apartments (which was an amazing sight, but still) and the inside of a bathroom. So when we met up with the kids afterwards, asked my daughter what she saw. “Um, the Mona Lisa was cool but crowded…and what’s that statue with no arms? Yeah we saw that”
Still angry at the injustice.
If you’re going to do a city justice you need 5 solid days in country.
Not that just flew in or just flying out but the real deal in in the city experience.
Then on the 6th day your body will spend 24 hours correcting before the flight home.
But it’s how you fill the space in between.
In honor of the Olympic opening ceremony, I had leftover pizza. Molto bene! NBC cranked up the music when they showed the Couchfucker and Mrs. Loveseat briefly before the Italian anthem, I’m guessing there was some booing. Good. No fucking peace for these Nazis!
Oh I should’ve had Hawaiian pizza. For Canada and Italy. And the best damn pizza ever created.
The only problem with the winter games is all the clothes the lady athletes wear. I like seeing the jumpers and sprinters and throwers in their
Spandex so I can feel real creepy. But then again, they are adults and the bar has been set at that, apparently.
Creepy huh, you’re speaking my language.
Motherfucker come home and crickets ?
It’s Friday yeah?
Bonjour!
Ciao Buddy.
Hola mi amigo.
In our defense, there has been “issues” for most of the evening.
Good to see you and we share the pain.
Yeah I was getting the 429 Too many requests issue during my entire pre run coffee and Italian titty movie time. Now gotta run, see you (maybe if you are still up) in an hour.
Even odds currently.
I’m here and drinking more than usual ahead of a 3 day weekend.
Enjoying the Italian weirdness (not 2Pack, but the ceremonies)
I’m recording. Haven’t started them yet.
Probably tomorrow.
As long as you’re partaking, all good.
(partaking has a wide definition here)
I’m covering a spectrum myself.
…
Lady 1 was stiff competition… But going with number 7 today Ayo. Thank you Sir.
I was torn between 7 and 9 personally. But I’d settle for 1.
EGG!
She’s fine as frog hair also.
The Italian folks knocked it out of the park with the Opening Ceremonies. That was great!!!
If you know anyone involved in organizing anything Olympics related over there, please thank them for me.
Yes most feedback so far has been very positive. Athletes loving the food… Go figure.
Loved the Paris one too. Ready to move to Europe. WHO’S WITH ME???
Wow. Better than the post 10
You want sexy? This here beer is sexy AF!
Also I like this week’s #9’s attitude.
Not to play SPOILER but 2pack has an absolutely delightful piece (PHRASING) coming (PHRASING!!!) your way tomorrow morning…
I wonder if it features buxom Italian women
(note: I do not wonder this)
Duly noted.
Shaun White is doing commentary for the opening ceremonies and I am grading him a CC-minus
/the double C is for “Cris Collinsworth”
Just finished watching UConn lose to St. John’s, (they deserved to), and I have to say that it is well past time to send Gus Johnson to a farm upstate to play with the other announcers.
Is Carnasecca still coaching Felipe Lopez?
Is that girl sucking an egg?
I’m drinking cheap vodka and cleaning out my kitchen cupboards. I apparently thought I might need 500 tea bags that I’ve never touched.
Also realizing I don’t care where anything goes so this will likely be another 20% finished job that languishes forever. I need to hire a nagging wife for one weekend to get this kind of shit done.
My advice is to be ruthless about throwing things out.
I thought I was fine there but I’ve done 8 shelves and made room for 2 pans. Clearly I’ve been too lenient with my beans and olives and various pickleds. The seasonings are due for a reckoning now.
Not sure about you folks but I sort my spices by feel, not some laughy daffy “alphabet”. So this is going to need some serious drinking to do right.
The paprika is front middle left. The white pepper back third right. Premixed to the left. Cumin gets tossed wherever that worthless scum gets tossed after it disappoints me again.
I don’t sort. I put things back in the closest spot so they get sorted by how often I use them
Exactly. They sort themselves. I feel seen now.
Like so:
That seems very clean and organized. You weren’t in the military, were you?
One day I’ll get there. This is how I ended up post-clean. The spices were mostly spared any interference. They’ve earned that.
I’ve been throwing out everything I find with a best by date in 2024 or earlier, even some 2025 stuff. Still a lot to go through, I’m going bit by bit
Depends for me. I had a friend give me her vinegar because it went past the best before date. No matter what I said, she insisted.
But then again, if you haven’t used something in 5 years, why keep it? So I cut it at 2020.
That’s the beauty of moving as many times as I have, I rarely have anything out of date because I go through my stuff so often.
How else do you eat eggs?
You wouldn’t put it on this page, that’s for damn sure.
Anally. Best way, protein gets in your bloodstream quicker.
You got it. So much protein in an ostrich egg.
https://youtu.be/DOkdccLCmJk?t=84
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teaching_grandmother_to_suck_eggs
“Teaching (your) grandmother to suck eggs is a saying that refers to a person giving advice to another person in a subject with which the other person is already familiar” “any elderly people (grandparents) had very bad teeth, or no teeth, so that the simplest way for them to consume protein was to poke a pinhole in the shell of a raw egg and suck out the contents; therefore, a grandmother was usually already a practiced expert on sucking eggs and did not need anyone to show her how to do it”
Hippo is bored. Why can’t it be September already?
But you’ve got months ahead of the #BFIB playing .438 ball.
(saying this as someone about to watch the Angels play .427 ball)
Here’s an artsy-fartsy shot of a powerful narcotic. Good times!
//added to Hippo’s jerk-off photo collection
Good Golly Miss Molly!
Do they still refer to the drug ecstacy as molly?
“Cro-Molly” is chromium-molybdenum, a popular party drug seen mostly at underground raves. It is filed into small shavings and then sprinkled into the user’s eyeballs, which produces intense euphoria and hallucinations due to the continuous eyeball bleeding.
Of course I do! Who wouldn’t want that?
To be honest, I don’t know their names. Which one is that?
If I ever call someone sugar tits it’s because I’m pretty sure their tits could kill a diabetic