How ’bout them Olympics! As always, hockey delivered, bringing you four OT games over two days. Were I a betting monkey I’d put a couple of bananas on the Finns tomorrow. They’re very solid defensively, are fantastic on the counterattack and have great depth. I was hoping they’d play the U.S. in the semi-final but I can’t read a medal bracket apparently.
I’d just like to point out that as pro sports go this is the NBA’s time to shine and all they’ve produced is countless stories about the problem of “tanking”. I’d say that the commish Adam Silver has lost control of the narrative but I’m not sure he even read the plot.
There’s limited football goings-on so let’s put an eyeball on PFF’s listicle of the top 100 free agents available during this cycle and then say things about those dudes.
#2 George Pickens:
He proved he was quite the difference-maker when he had a competent ball-thrower under center. Jerry will franchise him and that will improve his attitude. [rolls eyes]
#6 Kenneth Walker:
You can’t do much better with respect to gussying up your CV than winning SB MVP. And that’s on top of a career regular season. I’m very curious as to what his next contract looks like. PFF is saying 3 years with 20 mil guaranteed-seems low but the RB market is a bit weird.
#10 Alec Pierce:
He’s become a downfield weapon despite the dreadful QB play he’s had to deal with. Somehow he led the league in aDOT and YPR.
#13 Mike Evans:
Want a future HOF member on your team? This is your guy. Injuries finally caught up to him at age 32 but this strikes me as a wear and tear circumstance. He’s going to murderize smaller CB’s to the tune of another 1,000 yard season but will it happen in ’26?
#16 Rico Dowdle:
Kudos to the fella that said he was going to kick the Cowboys’ asses and then went ahead and did it. He faded down the stretch badly but could be part of a great one-two punch backfield.
#18 Malik Willis:
He needs to be higher-what with free agent QB’s being so scarce there’s going to be an over-bidding war for the services of this dude that can run and likes to throw long.
#22 Edge Boye Mafe
He’s not a star but what he is, is a guy that can pressure the QB and be effective vs the run game. Not sexy but essential to a defense.
#25 Jauan Jennings:
This guy is 28 and just coming into his own. I very much admire dudes that are buried on depth charts and don’t stop honing their craft and eventually get to shine. Pay this man his money.
#30 Tyler Allgeier:
No matter what he signs for, this guy is going to out-perform his contract. I hope he goes the “1 year Prove-It” route and cashes in next year. He can lead a backfield, don’t be mistaken.
#38 Edge Jadeveon Clowney:
This is how how you master/own the free agency environment. His next team will be his eighth in nine years. He’s done a sequence of one-year deals with bitchin’ incentives to the highest bidder/place he wanted to play.
#39 J.K. Dobbins:
He’ll rarely get you a 30 yarder but if you want consistent, effective running for 8 weeks of the season J.K. is your guy. And he doesn’t have an agenda with respect to trans folk despite his initials. If you’re looking for fumblers, look askance-he hasn’t put the ball on the turf since 2020, which defies belief.
#53 LB Alex Anzalone:
Some sports yakker said this guy is incredibly fast sideline-to-sideline and I disagreed. I’d go so far as to say that his significant athletic decline was a part of the Lions freefall defensively. At 31, he’s a rotational piece now.
#81 Isaiah Likely:
I predict that he’s the next tight end to go to another team and bust wide open. Every time he’s been given the ball on a regular basis he’s delivered.
#93 Interior Lineman Sebastian Joseph-Day:
As a follower of a team that upset the Pats twice in 4 years using immense pressure from a very deep defensive line, signing a guy like Joseph-Day is no-brainer territory. Depth at the position is paramount and they come at a very fair price because most GM’s under-value them.
#96 David Njoku:
This former 1st-rounder has always been about potential. Here and there he’s done well but this past season (at age 28) he was supposed to be in his prime. He was supplanted by Harold Fannin Jr. Sorry RTD, this reeks of a Raiders signing.
There’s other stuff on-please let us know. This post is way late.
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https://www.sportingnews.com/us/nfl/cleveland-browns/news/browns-set-make-56-year-nfl-history-bad-news-shedeur-sanders/ee4c1d518c3a9ddd87c1a7a3
Of all the Browniest things to happen, this is one of the Browniest. This is utterly fascinating in its ineptitude. Like, this should be studied. Theses and dissertations could be made around this. COACH PRIME may take out a life insurance policy on Shadeur.
Let’s throw a new offensive line coach into the mix, too. Because why not?
Found a funny:
South Korean culture is fascinating because it’s like “We make two things extremely well: Weapons and pop stars. One of these industries is the ruthless, blood-soaked byproduct of a nation whose soul was scarred by eternal war. The other is our defense industrial base, which is respected globally.”
Found a cool:
Brendan Fraser is Dwight Eisenhower!
It takes place during WW2!
It’s about the Weather?!??!!!
Honestly, seems pretty Rocking!!!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nDGEWgzcxJ4&pp=0gcJCUABo7VqN5tD
Yeah I saw this too, like the weather guy is the “plays by his own rules” hero, so it’s either gonna be cool or bad, no in-between.
I hope it’s good, for him. He seems like a mensch. And I think it couldn’t hurt to remind American voters that Nazis are horrible.
While working out today I watched a movie called Iron Sky which was about Nazis who settled on the dark side of the moon in 1945 invading modern day (2012) America. It wasn’t nearly as fun as it sounds. But the Nazis were definitely perceived as bad guys by the American people, which isn’t quite as much of a slam dunk these days.
I remember the trailers for Iron Sky! Like you said, 21st Century Nazis was easier to make fun of then.
Alyssa Liu is fucking awesome.
She’s Rocking!!! 🇺🇸
I probably rode the BART in SF at the same time as her one time!
My SIL is coming home tomorrow. Tonight, one of her many smoke detectors started beeping. Apparently they all report to the one in the upstairs hallway, which is close to the balcony and a deathdrop to the floor below. I changed that one first, still beeping. Changed two others before it stopped. I’m 65 fucking years old. I don’t need to be on ladders. I’m going out and getting high in her garage, and then I’m going to eat all of her fudgsicles. That’s probably not how you spell it, don’t fucking care.
A hammer works best on malfunctioning smoke detectors.
If you put bourbon in a fancy decanter, you can drink the hell out of it and still feel classy.
Works with Jack Daniels, too. Reference: Tuesday night.
Having casual beers with my buddy tonight.
“Yeah, we had a child and he died a day after he was born.”
Worst part? My glass was empty so I couldn’t propose a toast.
“Worst day of my life.”
That right there is the fear that keeps me awake at night.
Fuck.
Couple of beers, couple of bourbons. Had an argument with the wife, then she came back to sit. I was telling her about you guys and the meetup in Vegas.
“You should go, I’ll go and play the slots.”
Wanted to know my name on this board, I refused to tell her. Wanna know why?
Cause she’s the nosiest person I know. I need some modicum of privacy.
Fozz in Vegas?!? That would be EPIC!
It’s me, honey. The one making all the Irish jokes.
Should I keep track of all the deep, soulful covers that get used in the women’s figure skating this evening? Let’s start with “Nothing Else Matters” by Metallica.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93KwWH13-fA
Who has their pants at their knees when they’re taking a dump?
That’s the real red flag here.
TO BE FAIR women also sit to pee. Maybe just peeing.
…
“OK, I meet the Devil at the crossroads and Debbie Harry gets this? Fucking bullshit, man.”
-Robert Johnson
I do. I somehow developed that habit when I was young and I’m glad I did. Bathroom floors are disgusting, especially public ones. The only thing I’m wearing that I want to touch that surface is the bottom of my shoes.
Red flag.
Pants should ride on top of your shoes. If you’re pooping barefoot in a public bathroom, you’ve got bigger problems.
I think this is posed
I do. I mean not over the knees, but just below.
I’m so surprised at all the different pooping techniques out there.
Yeah the whole standing/sitting wipe thing was fascinating.
Pants on the floor, stand up and wipe, then pull pants up. That’s all there is.
This guy gets it
Standing to wipe is baffling to me. But, hey, as long as you leave the loo with a clean butt and fingers, I don’t have any complaints.
Yes, I had no idea people did this until the Deadspin thing.
But also, never discussed it, because that’s weird too.
Constanza didn’t wear a shirt when he took a shit.
I respect that.
My weirdass nephew used to get buck naked when he took a Trump. Probably still does.
“Trying to stay awake long enough for the youngest skull fracture boy to bring back wings from the takeout place.”
-excerpt from my recent autobiography My Struggle*
*not gonna lie, the profits from the German translation alone has made me one of the ten richest Canadians of all time
I’ve heard it’s a best-seller in Alberta.
I really don’t want Willis to go, mainly because I’m selfish but also will likely never be comfortable with or believe in Love.
*realizes how that reads and it stands as true either way*
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The Shamwow guy is running for Congress in Texas. He was inspired by Charlie Kirk’s demise.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIz6B7aGC2E
I was inspired by Kirk’s demise as well.
you misspelled “aroused”
His Wikipedia page says he
slap choppedpuncheda woman in the face.“If you were a coked-out shithead that had made millions from infomercials, would you be punching bitches or ladling out chili at a soup kitchen? Oh crap.”
-Shamwow Guy
In the GOP, that’s a feature not a bug
“So alpha…”
Did he, like, bite her or something?
She bit him. He punched her.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vince_Offer#Arrest
he definitely saw the missed opportunity of product placement at his death
Thank you for the FA preview. I can never quit Njoku. He, and Kyle Pitts, this year is going to be his year!
Banner brings me back.
hehe, Canada. You guys are too polite.
https://www.ctvnews.ca/toronto/local/durham/article/oshawa-generals-apologizing-after-sending-letter-asking-smelly-fans-to-shower-before-game/
Screwed up a call without actually screwing up…
Elderly man reported his equally elderly girlfriend fell and can’t get back up. I get a half dozen of these every day, regardless of shift. What should have been a 15-20 minute situation stretched to over an hour, because responders went to the wrong place.
That’s the easily one of BIGGEST NO-NOs I could do.
However, turns out the gentleman has dementia and gave an old address without realizing it. The directive is go where the caller says.
So, yes, it created an extra 45 minute ordeal, but not on me. Ol’ WCS might always be a dumbass, but does follow instructions well.
I don’t see what the big deal is; it’s not like she was getting up before they got there anyway.
Man if I did that some poor Italian EMTs would be trying to book flights to North Carolina.
I loved Logan’s Blade Runner Run!
To all you haters of ice skating, I’m watching this girl skate to Nothing Else Matters sung by some girl and IT ROCKS!
Sorry I Blair Witched this comment.
Seriously, I somehow forgot how absolutely ratshit horrible life is, when it ain’t September through January.
Humor me-give me your take on one of the free agents above.*
*I need to feel emotions again
TEASER – Downfield Matriculator’s submission is awesome and I am trying to finish formatting for Saturday.
Beyond that – methinks Walker is going to get paid WAY too much (Owl Tax). Agree with you on Allgeier, I’d be quite pleased if the Donks signed him for the Dobbins role. He probably will be affordable.
Tea leaves to me seem like Santa Clara is going to make out like bandits. The teams that I expected to trip over themselves chasing Willis…seem MOAR inclined to pine for The Bay Area Legend of White Mac.
It will be very nice indeed to watch Jerral throw a shit ton of moneys at Pickens, then fume as he wrecks what is left of Ham Head’s career.
Your Anzalone taek was jarring. Great stuff.
I’d take Isaiah Likely and Rico Dowdle fer sure. Jennings and that lineman too. A couple of the others if I really needed depth. I’d cut off a toe before I took Pickens.
I’d eat a skunk.
Ski mountaineering looks like something I would very much like to avoid.
[sticks thumbs into his belt that is trying desperately to support a distended belly]
“Is that one of them ‘new sports’ I done heard about on accident on the Godless PEE-BEE-ESS?”
Which one is the one with the compass? Oh yeah, that’s Orienteering.
They should do that in snow.
Wait! It exists!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ski_orienteering
That sounds like something The Donner Party thought was a good idea.
I tried Orienteering a few times but ended up being frustrated and I gave up on it. Some of my friends in that community said that I lost my way.
We were watching, that looks like something Ultramarathoners do in their offseason.
The NBA sucks balls and will always continue to suck balls.
I’m with you on the first part but if I start on why I feel that way I’ll come off as old-manish so I try not to talk about it too much.
Unlike Hippo, I don’t judge WASPily….
Your special lady’s nickname is “The NBA?”
Twenty-five minutes late. Guh. I feel shame.
how sensitive 🦄 🌈
Where’s the snowflake emoji?
No no. Having feelings is a good thing. I have heard.