Everybody Point and Laugh At Spurs Thread

No doubt everybody has had that dream, where they are in the office, going about a mundane day’s work.  Then, all of a sudden, one comes to realize that one is doing all this…buck ass nekkid.  It’s not a pleasant feeling, even after one realizes “it was only a dream, Bobby Ewing LIVES!”

Welcome to the Spring 2026 Spurs Experience.

Having white-knuckled through a few harrowing Evertonian escapes…this just sucks.  You lie in bed, staring at an empty wall.  You don’t dare close yoiur eyes, nor get up and do sommet to distract oneself.  You just live in the horrible, terrifying present.  Existential stuff, this.

But maths usually rides to the rescue, whether one deserves it or not.  The average neutral may think”Spurs deserve to go down” – but they are still only at 18% odds, as of this writing.  Not that much worse off than Leeds (7%) who nobody even mentions as possible relegation fodder.  WHam! (UK) remain in the gimp suit (despite their good form), just below 50/50.  The computers have thought all along, and think still, that it will almost surely be the Hammers or the Robins Hood joining Wolves and Boo-urnley in the Valley of the Damned.

But…dare to dream.  You need something to occupy your mind while you watch King’s Afrikan Water Pistols take 3 minutes over a corner kick.  Speaking of, they get Surely Missing Europe Everton this week (1:30, Peacock).  Such a treat for the class.  Afterwards, you get Wham! (UK) against City of Men (4:00, ??).  NBC’s scheduler is wonky as fuck.  Just flip around until you find it, shit be on somewhere (USA, NBC, Peacock).

No fixtures before ELEVEN, which is just cruel.  But such is our timeline.

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Mr. Ayo

Well, that’s that. Congrats Gooners.

scotchnaut

Ole Miss/Arky has now entered bananacakes territory.

Horatio Cornblower

Wow, Haaland nearly killed a guy.

scotchnaut

He looks like someone that would do it just to watch him die.

Horatio Cornblower

4 minutes of stoppage time?

You could have said 22 and I would have taken the over.

Horatio Cornblower

I do believe Haaland just took a pretty good shot to the nuts.

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Last edited 1 month ago by Horatio Cornblower
Mr. Ayo

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Last edited 1 month ago by Mr. Ayo
Fronkenshteen

This is the officiating that led me to suspect Nuno’s motivation against the SUPER CLUBS down the stretch, as crazy as it might sound. Yes, every point is precious, but why kill yourself when the officiating is going to be whatever it needs to be in order to get City over the line here? That no-call on the full stomp on Fernandes’ foot by Cherki told me all I need to know about the final score.

Horatio Cornblower

There have definitely been a couple of non-calls City’d way that raise an eyebrow.

Fronkenshteen

Whoever scouted that guy is our MVP this year and I don’t think I’m putting too fine a point on it.

litre_cola

I believe it, I also believe that VAR is corrupt.

scotchnaut

I CALL THIS OLE MISS BASKETBALL TEAM HATERS OF e.e. cummings BECAUSE THEY’RE CAPITALIZING OPPORTUNITIES!

WCS

Way back, I worked at the WVU Law School library. One of the professors was her grandson or grand-nephew. He did the same thing with his name.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

WVU has libraries?!

scotchnaut

It was a landfill. Everyone knows this. Shut. Up.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Another nocturnal emission?

ballsofsteelandfury

Is that a euphemism?

WCS

It is now.

Doktor Zymm

Supposed to be 90+ all next week so today is horsey bath day. They get washed before they get clipped, so they’ll be spiffy and cool

Horatio Cornblower

Meanwhile Connecticut remains firmly in the clutches of Mud Season, the worst of all the five seasons.

scotchnaut

“Mud Season” is the time period when my ulcer bleeds excessively and my stool is black.

/I may have said too much

Horatio Cornblower

Oh there’s no “may” about it

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I fucking *hated* March when I was growing up. Worst weather of the year (cold but no fun snow) and ZERO days off from school.

scotchnaut

Embracing their history, Ole Miss is still hanging in there.

Horatio Cornblower

OK, Hammers, 45 more minutes to glory!! Get another point away from relegation!!! You can do it!!!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I LIKE THEM!

blaxabbath

CATS play in 90 mins. Houston, for those of you who dont follow the Big12 closely (like me), is coached by basically Gus Fring – Kelvin Sampson. Dude terrifies me. We sit around and sling shit at Warmonger Pete and all the Kushner Slaves in the White House — I got no jokes about Sampson. All I know about dudes like him is that I don’t want to be on the other team — and I’m not going to be having too much jerk-off-and-throw-a-war-in-Iran dipshit fun if he ends up on my team. You cannot avoid the Best in the Sport of Basketball when you play that guy. His players are just all likeable and tough and they’re just never not in it. It’s like watching a 2 hour arm-wrestling bout in these games. And there’s nothing to lose for either team , seedingwise. You want to see dudes playing hard — this is the conference championship to watch.

Versus nice guy Tommy Lloyd who looks like a lady I rented a room from once when I worked on building the indian canals in my youth.

I’m so glad the Pac12 died and Indiana is embarrassing UCLA et al and I’m getting an absolute monster conference tournament championship game that never could have happened under the old conference alignments, regardless of NIL.

And it’s too inconvenient to travel to. So I get to just watch on TV.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Geelong already played last night

Horatio Cornblower

Hamster’s back on the wheel so I can post this, which is never more appropriate than watching the Gunners try as hard as they can for 90 minutes to dump at least 2 points to Not All That Disappointing Everton before winning 2-0:

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Mr. Ayo

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DJ TAJ

Inspired by the legendary bombshell Laura Antonelli the Italian baseball team has spread wide the La Isla del Encanto so far.

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scotchnaut

Ole Miss, we hardly knew ya. Except for the hanging of black people from trees. We did know about that.

yeah right

The Bracket group is set up!

ESPN bracket challenge.

Group name DFO Bracket Insanity

Password DFO.

Make your picks starting tomorrow.

Gumbygirl

I watched about 5 minutes of a college game this season, so I will be filliing out my bracket with confidence and brio!

Horatio Cornblower

You’ll probably win.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Happy Pie Day everyone. It’ll be peach for me tonight.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Great nickname for the Rev. Dr. Mrs. RTD Esq

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

She’s actually out of town. Which is just as well; we’re headed to Taiwan on Thursday so it’s good I don’t have to worry about whether I’m contagious.

Horatio Cornblower

Are you in the Chinese navy? Because pretty sure they’ll be headed over there right after we finish firing all our missiles at Iran.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Why do you think we’re getting this trip off the books?

Horatio Cornblower

That’s smrt

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2Pack

Napoli won and Inter tied. So at 9 points back, just need 5 more weekends like this and we’re there.

marika-fruscio
Fronkenshteen

A couple of weeks ago, Liverpool demolished West Ham 5-2, a result fairly out of character for both, as Liverpool haven’t been blowing too many folks out recently, and the Hammers have tightened it up somewhat with our FA Cup run and latest attempt to escape relegation. Today, West Ham face Man City, and I can’t help but wonder if Nuno has elected to play pragmatist by not expending unnecessary energy against the SUPER CLUBS in the home stretch. I think leaving Cryscencio Summerville, the one-man wrecking crew keeping us in contention, out of the side today is the tipoff. I’m looking for Man. City to win this one by 3 or more, scoring early and often. Expect that gigantic snowman to score at least 2, he murders us on the regular.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Don’t you dare lay down for those Man City clowns!

Fronkenshteen

Our new keeper would appear to be tits. And as long as Soucek and Bowen (and most recently Disasi) are on the field, there’ll be no laying down. However, I see trouble on the Man City right. Marmoush and Semenyo will be too much for Todibo to handle. He tends to switch off. Our lineup looks like a fluffy basket of defense with Soucek flying across the middle like a demented cruise missile breaking up attacks with his face.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh is that where the expression “wingman” comes from? Cause he plays on the wing?

Fronkenshteen

Announcers talking like Arsenal are a lock for the winner here, but I’m starting to love Everton with a shocker on the counter-attack.

scotchnaut

If memory serves BeerGRob has a ciderwife. This is excellent.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think it’s winewife, but it’s possible he’s a bigamist

Horatio Cornblower

She’s definitely Wine Wife but they both seem to enjoy a good cider.

scotchnaut

Senators are up 2-0 in their latest “must-win” game.*

*they lost their last one

scotchnaut

I’m betting that there will be an uptick in homelessness, what with a not-insignificant number of Leaf fans wandering the streets in their underwear muttering, “Where did it all go wrong? We were going to win The Cup this year.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holy shit, the youths are out and in green and waiting in lines to go to bars. Thank God for being old and drinking at home.

yeah right

My best friend from Jersey is coming out here for a week because El Segundo Brewing is releasing a Kelley Irish stout on Saint Patrick’s Day.
He’s a Kelley and his nephew, my god son is as well. That’s who the named the beer after.

I’m drinking with most of the Kelley clan that day at the brewery.

Yes I have that day and the next off from work.

I wish I could effectively describe what this will be like.

Pray for my liver.

yeah right

Oh boy.

1000025605
Horatio Cornblower

My father and brother were in Ireland a couple of years ago and went into the pub that had the same name as our family. They asked if that was worth a free pint.

It was not.

yeah right

We drank at a Kennedy pub in Dublin. My great grandmother was a Kennedy.

I didn’t even ask.

BC Dick

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9mKEyK11GRU

I had a great time in Victoria at St Paddy’s with a buddy as a 19 year old in prime linebacker fitness. Lined up for a bar and had a great time. So friendly and outgoing, it was terrific. People even buying us drinks at the bar and inviting us out.
Took us two small town rubes a good half hour of that before we noticed there were no women in that bar.
Closest I’ve ever come to being the pretty girl out in the town. Minus the ever present looming threat of violence, that is.

Last edited 1 month ago by BC Dick
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE GUYS THE ARSENAL FOOTBALL CLUB I CALL THEM THE NEW YORK JETS BECAUSE THEY ARE NAMED AFTER WEAPONRY AND ARE PLAYING SOME UGLY, UGLY FOOTBALL.

Horatio Cornblower

Martinelli is, at least when healthy, incredibly fast and talented and a real threat down the wing, and I am goddamned terrified every time he has the ball.

yeah right

Shed a small tear. I’m officially out of the fish tank owners club.

Just dropped off the old tank and stand at the bulky item drop off.

I’ll consider again when I get to my forever home.

Forty plus years of that shit.

Might be time for a beer.

blaxabbath

Walk on it.

yeah right

Count on that!

Horatio Cornblower

It wasn’t quite enough?

The defender stepped on his foot from behind to stop a breakaway.

Mr. Ayo

Toffees could have a couple now, too. Fun fixture, so far!

Horatio Cornblower

Yes.

Fun.

/grits teeth into a fine powder

Fronkenshteen

Gunners don’t seem to have that kind of killer instinct. I see them (unwisely) letting y’all hang around here.

Sharkbait

I would LOVE for the NFL to copy rugby when they go to review. Both the referee and the replay is official are mic’d up and the conversation is broadcast in the stadium

Mr. Ayo

One of the CFB conferences did that this year and it was awesome. Fully endorsed.

Sharkbait

Up the Albion!!!

SonOfSpam

You mean they played a double shot

Brick Meathook

The Cramps > The Cure/The Cult/The Smiths/The Depeche Modes/Enya/Yanni/Adele/Reba/Cher/Sting

Gumbygirl

It was probably Gumby letting us know he’s still around.

litre_cola

Whoa whoa charlie. Fascination Street is their best work. Disintegration IS their best album.

SonOfSpam

Cure songs, ranked

1) Fascination Street
2) In Between Days
3) Boys Don’t Cry
4) Love Removal Machine
5) Just Like Heaven

SonOfSpam

Just too many, A Question of Time is up there, but where exactly?

Senor Weaselo

As heard in Burnout Paradise!
/The video game, not the apparent Broadway show

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Boys Don’t Cry

Can we have one conversation where you don’t inject a talking point designed to impress your hero Pete Hegseth?

Gatoraids

depending on current mood flip between from high to dirgy

High
Lovesong
Lullaby

ballsofsteelandfury

Wish is arguably better than Disintegration. It’s only because of “It’s Friday I’m In Love” that everyone thinks it sucked.

Take that song out and that is peak Cure.

Brick Meathook

CHILD: Mother, what’s wrong with Grand Papa?

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Gumbygirl

Not a goddamn thing, whippersnapper!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hear me out…

1000001906
Gatoraids

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2Pack

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Way ahead of you on the clothing part. Just need to hit the gym a little harder to make myself match the photo, though.

Senor Weaselo

Where’s the 360 no scope MLG gamerhorn killcam sponsored by Mountain Dew?

blaxabbath

How have we not Eminent Domain’d a passage through Saudi Arabia?

SonOfSpam

I would spark up with Harriet Wheeler given the oppotunity

SonOfSpam

(thinking about her pronunciation of “cynically”)

Gumbygirl

Hopefully she wouldn’t end up with a little souvenir.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Sharkbait

Ireland may have clinched Six Nations. Scotland hung around but Ireland is just too good.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Japan beating Ireland at the World Cup in 2019 is some of the most fun I have ever had watching rugby.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32IVcdoaNKY

Doktor Zymm

Beer train is happening again this year!

litre_cola

It is either Forest or Spurs. Wham is playing too well right now.

scotchnaut

I’ve never seen this before-found it hilarious.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_wlMrJqdrk

ballsofsteelandfury

The naked dream is a perfect WASP nightmare.

I would not give one rat’s ass if I was naked in the office. I would be annoyed because HR would get on my ass, but I would not be horrified.

ballsofsteelandfury

In fact, I am currently naked Butters-style, while taking a dump.

You are welcome and have a wonderful Saturday!

Horatio Cornblower

Well, I didn’t want to keep these waffles in my digestive system anyway…

Doktor Zymm

Ballzempic

Brick Meathook

I had a dream a few years back that I was taking a naked shit on a toilet which for some reason was positioned on the sidewalk at a busy intersection outside my grade school. I think a psychiatrist would have a lot to say about that dream.

Senor Weaselo

Is it pre-shower? Because then that makes sense.

2Pack

My stand by

peter-sellers_a56975
Gumbygirl

.

1000007753
2Pack

It’s amazing how little I care about those things the older I get.
Fewer things embarrass me since there is usually a simple explanation for them.
It’s a good place to be.

yeah right

Reading Destiny of the Republic by Candice Millard per your recommendation and it’s been terrific.

Thanks again and again.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wasn’t that MY recommendation?

scotchnaut

15-19 Ole Miss, losers of ten straight at one point, are the fly in the SEC ointment so I will have no choice but to cheer for them.

scotchnaut

Huh. I would like to see State in the tourney…

blaxabbath

Seems like, with respect to the troops we sent to die for Israel, might as well just start with the Final Four and eschew the earlier rounds.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What did Spur ever do to you?

Horatio Cornblower

Thought they deserved any part of North London.

blaxabbath

NorLo?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Spur did? Banish him from the commentariat.

blaxabbath

He wants them to feed it to Wemby more.

Don T

Buenos di asssssss. PR vs Italia on the WBC this pm. Mood:
👊🏼——🔥
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Jimbo

Rooting for you guys to beat those greasy Italians, Italian-Americans.

Don T

El Manager ✊🏼

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