Championship Nut-Cutting Day Open Thread

Ugh.  The upload cut off the last word, which is “SHITHOLE.”  Apologies, Litre!

The relegation slots might be all done and dusted, but three squadrons are alive for 2nd position (and automatic promotion), with the Ipswiches (who always get teh bitches, mind) controlling their own destiny.  The final playoff ticket is also at stake, with Wrexham at home and kinda sorta in the driver’s seat with a win.  But best make it a 2 or 3-goal margin, or squeaky bum time it shall remain.

Anyway, in a stroke of good marketing, all Championship fixtures kick off at 7:30 (CBSSN, Parmount+), while the Prem doesn’t begin until 10:00 (all League 1 and 2 matches are 10:00 kickoffs, too – if you’re a Deep Cut Sicko).

ha ha, YES!!

WHam! (UK) highlight the 10:00 window (USA), with a tricky trip to the Beehive.  We all wish Fronk well, and gently remind him that punching out a window is REALLY gonna hurt.  Best ignore that very human impulse.

Kings’s Afrikan Water Pistols get the Spotlight treatment (12:30, NBC), as they try to grind away to a 1-nil home win over Mighty Whitey.  Handsome Mikel will not waste Football Points, y’all.  It’s just not BEFITTING of the handsome gentleman.  Christ, though.  So much touchline gruff man-meat in this one.

If you have the opportunity, DO be conventionally attractive.  It’s a great way to go about one’s day.

City of Men and Spurs Misery Porn Theatre will have to wait for the morrow/Monday.  So…fookin’ pace yourselves, eh?

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Brick Meathook

Monument Valley

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Doktor Zymm

Mt St Helens

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Mr. Ayo

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Last edited 30 days ago by Mr. Ayo
Doktor Zymm

Blasting in what was really a pretty epic decade of natural disasters, with the Loma Prieta earthquake wrapping up in 1989

Doktor Zymm

And Mt Rainier

6295
Last edited 30 days ago by Doktor Zymm
LemonJello

Looking at potential summer lairs, Dok?

Doktor Zymm

Always fun to pop into an open house

Gumbygirl

I have pictures of us playing in the snow up there. It’s a beautiful place.

Mr. Ayo

Well, that’s why they didn’t name him Silver Tempo

Last edited 30 days ago by Mr. Ayo
litre_cola

After the shit kicking Mighty Whitey took we went to U9 footy. I hit the weed vape when I go home. Too much, yes indeed. During the proceedings Mrs. Cola was on to me.

“Is there booze in your water bottle?”
“Uhh, yeah.”
“What kind?”
“Here”
“That’s nice”

That’s love.

Brick Meathook

Lake Michigan (left) and Regular Michigan (right) as viewed from 900,000 feet.

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Gumbygirl

That’s a nice view from space!

Doktor Zymm

Dig the horizon!

Last edited 30 days ago by Doktor Zymm
blaxabbath

The mayor is at this trampoline park I’m at with blaxito.

She’s single and wearing a soccer jersey.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Regina or Roxanna?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Regina:

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Roxanna:

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blaxabbath

Mayor Kate of Phoenix.

She’s single mom to a nine year old.

yeah right

Transportation issues resolved.

New owner of a previously used Toyota Civic.

Just got to deal with the finance folks and I’m home for beers and lunch.

yeah right

Or a Camry. Same thing.

Mr. Ayo

So a Honda Camry?

yeah right

Nissan, man!

litre_cola

I am confused. So, is Ribert Smith involved?

litre_cola

SHE SELLS SANCTUARY!

SonOfSpam

I enjoyed the journey from “what variety of luxe Mercedes should I endeavour to procure?” to “fuck it, got me a basicbitchmoblie”

litre_cola

Nods in Slack.

Brick Meathook

Toyota Camry is a rock solid car.

SonOfSpam

Just watched the last hour of Almost Famous (the kind of thing you can do when you still have cable like an old man).

That’s pretty close to a perfect movie.

SonOfSpam

Should also note that seeing Phillip Seymour Hoffman, even in that small role, made me sad. What a great talent, done far too soon.

2Pack

Well with Napoli drawing today, if Inter wins or draws tomorrow night they take Series A this season.

SonOfSpam

Inter was just too much this season, but at least Naples and Other Milan will make the Shempions.

scotchnaut

#22 Best Team Of All Time is the 2000 Ravens. The Giants made the SB that year and I knew there was no path to a win. It was a foregone conclusion.

Doktor Zymm

Instead of terminals A and B I wish SJC had terminal A and terminal 1

Doktor Zymm

I take it back, terminal B sucks. It deserves to be a B

SonOfSpam

Should have a Positive and Negative imo

Mr. Ayo

With two, just go with Cathode Terminal and Anode Terminal.

Everyone will get that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well that was quite the outage.

Gumbygirl

Ugh, doggo took me on a Death March. It’s too hot, waaaaaah!

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Gumbygirl

[ it’s 73⁰, and most of you aren’t cunts]

SonOfSpam

High today is gonna be 78, and it’s breezy and the windows are open and it’s kind of perfect. Especially with the “not working” thing.

SonOfSpam

I am a PROPER cunt.

scotchnaut

NFL Network is doing a rundown of the greatest teams of all time and the 1990 14-2 Niners are there despite losing at home to the Giants in the NFC Championship. The casual observer thinks they won it because Montana was knocked out of the game and maybe it’s true but context matters.

The defense was absolutely incensed that the Niners tried to deliberately injure Jeff Hostetler, hitting him just below the knee. Watch how Leonard Marshall, who was out of the play because he was thrown to the ground, scrambles to his feet and plants his helmet directly into a few of Montana’s vertebrae.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8uVZVbexJo

WCS

That’s twice today I’ve seen WVU alum and Superb Owl winning quartered back Jeffrey Hostetler come up.

If I got $1000 each time, I’d have a nice amount of money, and it’d be weird to happen twice.

scotchnaut

I’ll say this to the day I die-he was paramount to the Giants winning the SB that year. The Niners D in the NFC Championship Game (they were the better team in many respects) had game-planned for a pocket passer (Phil Simms) and were somehow perplexed by a QB that could run when a play broke down. If they’d just employed a spy on Hoss on passing downs they’d have won going away.

Gumbygirl

I brung him up a day or two ago. Gumby lived near him until we were 11 or so. Jeff may have won the first place trophy in Punt, Pass, and Kick, BUT- Gumby whooped his ass in Jr. High football. He didn’t play him in high school though, different conference. He would have stomped him there too!

Last edited 30 days ago by Gumbygirl
SonOfSpam

Man, between Wrex, West, and Ful, tough day for hams.

scotchnaut

“What you have to do is salt that raw ham and be generous about it. She’s a big girl that can take it. Leave it uncovered in the fridge for one day at least, but massage her every other hour because you know she wants it. After that do a low and slow cook with hickory chips and after 10 hours she’ll fall apart in your hands.”

-Yeah Right and Andy Reid’s new YT channel, first post

Senor Weaselo

Don’t forget that attempted suicide squeeze by one of the Ham Fighters.

/Yes, we know it’s Nippon-Ham Fighters, but it’s for the bit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/1t0avbq/nbp_highlight_the_nippon_hamfighters_tried_to_put/

Brick Meathook

THE BRICK MEATHOOK UPDATE
A Production of The Brick Meathook Institute™️

Today’s Episode: The Delta Club at JFK

”Heres a Tres Leches Cake (which means “3 Leches Cake”) and an oatmeal cookie. There was fresh fruit right next to it but fuck that.”

©️The Brick Meathook Institute™️ and Meathook Holdings LLC

https://ibb.co/wNHKNtx7

Cecil Rhodes

Can you believe it!! Swedish Chris Wood has finally figured out that his job is to put the ball in the net! Onward to glory!

Horatio Cornblower

It helps that he’s on the pitch.

Horatio Cornblower

AND THAT’S WHY YOU LET GJOYKERES PLAY BEFORE THE 83RD MINUTE YOU HANDSOME FUCKWIT!!!

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t even recognize the team I’m watching.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RIP to Spirit Airlines, the Waffle House of the sky.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpqDFUtIKEM

scotchnaut

“Sooo….Spirit Airlines is going up to the Spirit in the Sky.”

-Norman Greenbaum

Brick Meathook

If a company is trying to avoid bankruptcy I’m pretty sure that Donald Trump is the last person they want advice from.

Last edited 30 days ago by Brick Meathook
Fronkenshteen

Fuck VAR up its useless fucking ass.

Fronkenshteen

Offsides by his ear. Eat shit, you know? Ruined the match. That was a beautiful spirited counter and they snuff it out with some robot horseshit. AND, what of Mavropanos getting his ankle spiked on his own goal? That’s just not a foul for us? Operation: Keep Spurs Up moves on apace…

Brick Meathook

Today is May 2nd, a big day in U.S. Civil war history. Two significant events happened, but one of them gets all the attention, then and now, even though the other one was more important.

First, May 2nd is during the Battle of Chancellorsville in Virginia (April 30 to May 4, 1863), where General Stonewall Jackson’s corps famously slipped around the Union Army of the Potomac’s right flank and slammed into it out of the dense woods known as “The Wilderness.” It was the culmination of Lee’s outmaneuvering of General Joseph Hooker, and led ultimately to Hooker’s withdrawal. Chancellorsville is called “Lee’s Perfect Battle” and led to the confidence that resulted in his invasion of Pennsylvania and his defeat at Gettysburg in July, which was really the beginning of the end of the Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia and ultimately the rebellion.

At the exact same time, however, General Ulysses S Grant is conducting one of the most important elements of his Vicksburg Campaign, the Army of the Tennessee’s crossing of the Mississippi River (April 30 to May 2, 1863). While Chancellorsville may be Lee’s Perfect Battle, the Vicksburg campaign is considered the greatest campaign in U.S. Army history, and led to a major strategic victory. Lee was fighting battles; Grant was fighting a war.

Grant’s crossing was the largest amphibious operation in U.S. military history until D-Day in June 1944.

Between April 30 and May 2, 1863, Grant moved 45,000 troops plus their animals and artillery across the Mississippi River, crossing 25,000 on the first night alone. His army was strictly built for speed and light weight: each soldier carried 3 days rations (expected to last 5 days), only essential animals and artillery were carried, and what supplies were brought were concentrated with ammunition, sugar, and coffee. After crossing, Grant’s force would immediately move out and go looking for a fight. There was no supply train; the Army of the Tennessee had to survive off the land and what they carried for 5 days until a supply train could be established, and in those 5 days they had to knock the Confederates off their heels and keep knocking them, never letting them pause and catch their breath. It was move, attack, move, attack, etc. If they didn’t reach their objective in 5 days and establish a supply line, the assault would have failed. Grant rolled the bones big time and won.

This crossing led to several battles where grant defeated the larger Confederate force (under General John Pemberton) by isolating smaller element’s of Pemberton’s army and outnumbering them and defeating them in detail.

The Vicksburg campaign culminated in the Siege of Vicksburg followed by Pemberton’s surrender in the Fall of Vicksburg, which happened July 4 1863, at the same time as Lee’s defeat at Gettysburg. The Fall of Vicksburg seized full control of the Mississippi River by Union Forces and cut the Confederacy in half. It is considered one of the most important elements in the Union’s victory in the war.

Yet, because the Eastern Theater got all the press attention at the time (and still today, really), Grant’s massive accomplishment is generally overshadowed by Lee’s romantic yet losing efforts from Chancellorsville to Gettysburg to Appomattox.

tldr: Grant > Lee

2Pack

And soon afterwards Lincoln recognizes he needs a brawler and a gambler to end the whole thing.

2Pack

My great grandfather 37th Wisconsin Volunteers was in on the final kill.

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Horatio Cornblower

That’s pretty cool.

Not sure my great grandfather was alive then, but if he was he was undoubtedly trying to think of a way to hide under a bag of taters and smuggle himself from the auld sod to New York City.

Doktor Zymm

My relatives at the time were most likely beet farmers somewhere in Eastern Europe, though one of them might have been a cobbler but the shoes were also made of beets

2Pack

My mother’s side (Great Grandad here) came over from England in the first wave of frontier settlers early 17th century. My father’s side great grandad came over from Germany in 1856. He also served in the Union Army.

Horatio Cornblower

My father’s people were in NYC by 1830. We don’t know much about them, other than that they’ve been courageously moving east ever since.

My mother’s people showed up around he turn of the century. And come to think of it, headed due east as well.

Real buncha fucking pioneer gene stock I’ve got going over here.

Horatio Cornblower

Chancellorsville also got Stonewall Jackson killed, and with that went most of Lee’s genius for battle.

Last edited 30 days ago by Horatio Cornblower
LemonJello

Interesting history lesson, Brick. It’s missing one key element:

What did this mean for the Leafs playoff chances?

Gatoraids

interesting write up of one of the most interesting ciger habits since Groucho and the You Bet your Life wife.

https://www.grantcottage.org/blog/2022/12/14/champion-of-the-weed-a-study-of-the-legendary-smoking-habit-of-us-grant

Gatoraids

and can buy in their shop “Unconditional Surrender: The Romance of Julia and Ulysses S. Grant”

Doktor Zymm

And with Vicksburg, Grant also captured the entire confederate supply of Vapo-Rub, essential for keeping the troops from whining whenever they caught a summer cold

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Woke up early and couldn’t fall back asleep. Anyone else watching Carlton-St. Kilda?

ballsofsteelandfury

The Saints are a conundrum

ballsofsteelandfury

I mean, how do they look so good (like right now) and then suck so bad?

It can’t just be because Litre touches himself…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Check out the scoreworm

LemonJello

Fun Fact: “Scoreworm” is Deanna’s nickname for her regular post game disappointment

litre_cola

I sure do! That is why Mighty Whitey will get pumped 3-0 today. My treating myself as an amusement park has nothing to do with St. Kilda though.

Horatio Cornblower

Have you even seen an Arsenal game?

Get a 1-0 lead, pull your most creative player, sit back and defend in depth but, and this is the most important part, without communicating.

ballsofsteelandfury

Litre called it!!

Doktor Zymm

This is just what St Kilda does, it is their raison d’etre

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I woke up with a mild headache that has gotten worse. And it’s not a hangover. What the hell, universe? At least let me earn it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We do not accept.

Horatio Cornblower

I am also feeling a bit groggy this morning, and I choose to blame the Jews and their space lasers rather than the birthday beers and that margarita at dinner that the bartender seems to have made with three parts tequila, one part ice.

Also I had a total of two beers last night. Drinking at 55+ is hard goddamn work, people.

LemonJello

Its not space lasers or the “state” of Wyoming, its the 5G covid waves making us all teh gays.

LemonJello

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Horatio Cornblower

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