Monday Morning Mock Draft: Capitalize On This!

Guten Tag, drones.

This week’s pick comes from the list of ideas I compiled during the season, either from my won random musings or, when they’re actually good, from suggestions from people like Rikke or Scotchy, but never from Hippo.

For the last time, Hippo, we are not doing a mock draft on “different ways to spell ‘ennui’”

I must admit, however, that the timing of this suggestion was inspired by Yeah Right and DJ Taj’s trip to Paris, a city I suspect will go very high this morning.  Certainly it will out perform Shedur Sanders.

This week we draft World Capitals.  Not “Capitols” because those are the buildings that house the people that work in the capital city, a fun fact I just looked up when making sure I was using the right one.

Look at us, learning on a Monday morning!

Anyway, the rules are very simple:  if it’s a capital city, and you like it, you can draft it.

And I’m going to get out ahead on this one and say “yeah, fine, go ahead and draft fake cities if you want to, I don’t care” because that is very much going to happen.  Just remember that Gondor is the kingdom, Minas Tirith is the capital.  Gondor itself is not a city.  I would hate for someone to get fired for making that mistake.

State capitals do not count, nor do provincial capitals.  Territorial capitals DO count, a completely arbitrary rule I made just in case I might want to take San Juan at some point.

With the first pick I, a very limited world traveler, (and under no circumstances am I drafting Johannesburg), am going to take Prague, the capital of whatever we’re calling the left half of Czechoslovakia these days, and the featured image above.

/quick Google

Ah, The Czech Republic.  Boy, there’s some imagination at work.  Good goin’ guys.

Anyway, I hear it’s beautiful and that the beer scene is outrageous.  They also like hockey, and I’m told it’s relatively affordable.  I will, however, insist on keeping the Sudetenland.

The rest of you are on the clock.

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yeah right

Wellington New Zealand!
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I had that on my board but it lost points for character concerns by which I mean terrible weather.

Doktor Zymm

Also sheep

WCS

Nay’er a hobbit in sight…

WCS

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Ashgabat, Turkmenistan
A city too insane not to be real. Dok knows; she’s been there.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man I knew that elevated gas prices were keeping people off the roads throughout the world, but this is ridiculous.

Doktor Zymm

Turkmenistan has oil, gas is pretty cheap there. However, you aren’t allowed to drive a dirty or banged up car in the capital. There are giant car washes along every major road in

Gumbygirl

Lot’s of road for 8 or 9 cars!

BugEyedBoo

They’ve gpt that access road thing going like in Houston, where there’s an exit to a one-way access road about every half-mile.

Gumbygirl

And by “Lot’s” I meant “belonging to Lot”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Madrid is still on the board, and while it isn’t my favorite part of Spain, it’s still an awesome part of one of my favorite countries. Meet me at El Prado for a museum tour, then siesta, then we eat and drink our faces off. ¡Vamos!

Doktor Zymm

It’s probably my second favorite city in Spain, after Granada. Oh hey, Granada was the Muslim capital from 711-1492, I draft Granada!

SonOfSpam

Ballsofsteelandfury is gonna tangle with Manny Machado.

For good reason.

https://bsky.app/profile/slapcode.net/post/3mns5cise7224

Gumbygirl

I’m kind of sad that none of you have noticed that I used capitol instead of capital in all of my comments, because Horatio is nawt the boss of meeeee!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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SonOfSpam

Didn’t realize it was intentional, thought it was Bama leakin through

Gumbygirl

I knew this would come in handy!

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

like any of us read

WCS

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Astana, Kazakstan

Kazakhstan, number one producer of potassium!

SonOfSpam

My lapsed Catholic pick is Vatican City, which is the capital of, um, Vatican City.

I love our humble churches!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gumbygirl set precedent by taking a US territory capital, so I’m taking San Juan. ¡Hola, DonT, soy tu nuevo dueño!

yeah right

Andorra La Vella!

For the tax shelter alone.

AND I’ve been there.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

3. I dunno…Seoul? But let’s spice it up a little and make it the Neo-Seoul from Cloud Atlas.

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Last edited 4 days ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
SonOfSpam

The Korean Blair Witch is a movie I’d pay to see.

Gumbygirl

American Samoa’ s capitol is split among three different municipalities: Pago Pago, Utulei, and I swear I’m not making this up, Fagotogo.

scotchnaut

Miss, this is a family blog.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Which family? Manson?

Gumbygirl

Sez the serial killer.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Making an exception to take a city I have not yet visited: Seoul. In case I need to go to war with Brick.

Last edited 4 days ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
BrettFavresColonoscopy

It will not be a land war

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh son of a bitch. Good thing I went with Neo-Seoul, which is a totally different city!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Whatever, witch

Gumbygirl

The capitol of Oz ( not that one) is the Emerald City

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Doktor Zymm

I’m hungry so gonna take Singapore

SonOfSpam

Oh, and here’s Rush playing in LA last night. Wish I was there (I mean, not for what the tickets cost, but still). A few observations:

1) New chick drummer sounds great!
m) Geddy and Alex have lost nothing on their respective axes.
VII) Geddy is in good voice except when he goes high, then it’s like, God love him, he’s trying.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzp7W5jmSrM

Last edited 4 days ago by SonOfSpam
BugEyedBoo

I saw them at the R40 tour, and Geddy Lee stayed far away from the high notes.

Do you suppose those guys are broke, or bored. I vote ‘bored’. Or their wives like them in smaller doses. “Go tour or something, you’re annoying me.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve caught the performing bug before; it’s fun to have a crowd cheering for you, even if it’s as small as a high school talent show crowd and it’s not so much “cheering” as “jeering”.

blaxabbath

Great pick. LOFTY Pick.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Heh heh, you said “pee”.

Gumbygirl

Since the capitol of my homeland was stolen by Horatio, I’ll go with Gumby’s. Bratislava, baybee!

Gumbygirl

It would be Dublin, but I’m sure I’d enjoy Prague.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Or both.

How can she be in both Prague and Dublin at the same time? Unless…[eyebrows narrow]…I’m calling the police.

Gumbygirl

I contain multitudes. But go ahead and call the police, I’m sure they can find something to pin on Horatio

scotchnaut

I’ll pivot to literature and take the city-state of New Crobuzon featured in Perdido Street Station. A festering industrial wasteland with a rigid social hierarchy, most of its citizens are sick because of the overwhelming pollution. Don’t swim in the river because there are large nameless beasts that will drag you under and tear you apart. Airbnb rates are lower than you’d think!

new
King Hippo

Hippo has also read this! (thanks to yeah right rec)

2Pack

My 5th and final (gotta run) choice is Warsaw. Very underrated. People are friendly. Women (under 45-50 at least) are pretty.

Warsaw-UNESCO
SonOfSpam

How was the tour of the submarine screen door factory?

blaxabbath

The original capital of the Kingdom of Hawaii.

Lahaina, Maui

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blaxabbath

Also, I’m drafting for the Browns so, with my next pick, whatever capital city is also a shitty quarterback.

SonOfSpam

that pick is fire bruh

SonOfSpam

Spent an hour or so in Vaduz, Liechtenstein. Wonderful little blink-and-miss-it country. You used to be able to rent the whole country for $70k/night (min 2 nights), but that was long ago (like 10 years). Still, it’s alpine and pretty!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Usurper! Usurper!” – WCS loyalists

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

2. Buenos Aires. Yoink!

SonOfSpam

Pros: Food and wine
Cons: Current President, soon-to-be home of Peter Thiel

Brick Meathook

Glamorous Pyongyang

https://ibb.co/kgqDBxkN

SonOfSpam

Trump is SO jealous.

NotShogunButShogun

Freedonia didn’t have a named capital, so I say it’s that.

Doktor Zymm

No one has taken Berlin? Seriously fun city y’all

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think the post tag scared us off

scotchnaut

Here’s one that wifey and I visited-Basseterre in St. Kitt’s-Nevis. Gorgeous, mountainous countryside, monkeys running free and amazing houses perched way up high making it much easier for the ultra-rich to look down on you.

bass
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…monkeys running free…

I heard Howard Cosell was a big fan of that place too.

scotchnaut

Cool historical fact-Admiral Nelson banged his mistress there!

Brick Meathook

From Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea? I don’t remember that part.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Trying to stick with places I have first hand experience with, I’ll take Copenhagen next. Legendary food, great øl, easy cycling, beautiful buildings/museums, and hygge.

SonOfSpam

Plus you just need a pinch between your cheek and gum.

Brick Meathook
Doktor Zymm

It’s shaped like an airplane!

2Pack

In the fourth round it’s Zagreb.

IMG_20240918_184658
2Pack

That is an actual old school gas lamplighter

SonOfSpam

Our tour bus drove through Bern (Switzerland) and it seemed lovely. Bonus points for giving the world Bernese Mountain Dogs (that’s the BeerGuyRob signal)

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought the BeerGuyRob signal was to finish your beer and than look around wistfully in hopes of getting another one. Do you mean I’ve been drinking all these Stellas for nothin’?

Brick Meathook

Since fake cities count how about real cities in fake countries?

Therefore, I select lovely Richmond Virginia, circa 1865.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think you mean Richmond, CUSA

Brick Meathook

Except the so-called “Confederacy” never existed, as there is no provision in the U.S. Constitution for secession.

/my ancestors fought for the Union, baby!

SonOfSpam

But muh hairitige!

SonOfSpam

Dicaprio-lookin motherfuckers

SonOfSpam

No longer a different country

yeah right

Vienna please.

2Pack

You beat me to this one.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS MEANS NOTHING TO ME…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJeWySiuq1I

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well this was a fun impromptu “Vienna” edition of Request Line.

2Pack

My 3rd rounder is Brussels

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Brick Meathook

My hometown, Washington DC

(actually Arlington VA)

Brick Meathook
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Ankh-Morpork! The Big Wahoonie!

yeah right

Temple Bar!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

1. Gonna go out and get myself a yellow card in the first minute of the game to immunize myself against a red and take Cape Town, South Africa, the legislative capital of the country.

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Doktor Zymm

I love how South Africa has 3 capitals and none of them are Johannesburg

SonOfSpam

hey what’s that mountain that looks like a table

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s been 30 minutes and….Tokyo is still on the board? Yoink, kudasai!

Redshirt

Harry T., Undisclosed Location, 1945

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s clean, some neighborhoods are bigger than other capital cities, the food is incredible, the people are fantastic, it’s different and weird and amazing. Man, I wish I was back in Tokyo right meow.

Redshirt

Is it still a Blair Witch Pick if I draft Paris again, but in its fictional capacity as the capital of the United Federation of Planets in Star Trek?

If not, Paris, France, Earth, Sol System, UFP. If so, my 47th Blair Witch Pick and counting.

yeah right

Gimme Lisbon for obvious reasons.

2Pack

2nd round it’s Rome

IMG_20260608_161854
Redshirt

“State capitals do not count, nor do provincial capitals.”

You’ve made a mortal enemy of Wakko Warner!

Animaniacs SING-ALONG | Wakko’s America | WB Kids – YouTube

Last edited 4 days ago by Redshirt
Sharkbait

Since BFC stole London from me, I’m going with Edinburgh

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can’t wait for the commissioner’s ruling here. But I’m fully supportive.

2Pack

Ljubljana is sweet and fun. Solid first round pick.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

She sounds like a delightful young woman.

2Pack

Say no more!

SonOfSpam

Negative points for the Melania statue, positive points for how many people have (probably) pissed on it. Probably as many who have paid to do that to the real thing.

scotchnaut

I’ll take Ottawa-kinda boring, clean, polite to strangers-a lot like me.

/also tons of outdoorsy stuff just 10-15 minutes from downtown which much younger me took great advantage of

Gumbygirl

Polite to strangers, except drifters and hoboes! I don’t actually know if hoboes is the plural of hobo, could be hobos. Or hobii, depending on location. But hoboes is a perfect match for oboes, and someday I will include that rhyme in my epic poem.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m taking London. Great city, great cocktails, great accents.

2Pack

The British ladies love to hear us American guys talk. Been told that a few times to which I reply “the feeling is mutual Luv” .

Last edited 4 days ago by 2Pack
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That tracks with my own personal experience that having an American accent in another English-speaking country definitely gets you extra attention.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Say what you will about Shadeur Sanders, Paris has never been to the Pro Bowl

Don T

Well since Hitler, North Dakota is out of bounds, gotta go with Ciudad México. Loooove CDMX.

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