Sexy Friday – 20230505

TGIF! Happy Cinco De Mayo to all who celebrate. We’re still up to our eyeballs in the hardwood and ice playoffs, so let’s get to it.

Survival – Personal Edition

Now that pandemic is officially over – under 100 deaths per day lately – our capitalist pig overlords are bringing everyone back to the office. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time. Let’s put those elevators to use!

• Seek out an older elevator if available. Older elevators have a convenient emergency stop button. Newer ones will have a switch with a stop setting, but those also sound an alarm. Either way, you can expect at least 15 minutes before personnel will be able to get in the elevator, and sometimes up to an hour.
• Another great option is the freight elevator. These will be padded not only for you and your patterns comfort, but the padding will also muffle any noise. Also, they stop mechanism will be far less likely to trigger an alarm.
• Check for cameras in the elevator. Usually they will be located in the rear top corners of the elevator. Cover with tape or make use of those old stamps. In rare instances the system will also record audio. Nothing you can do there, but be aware.
• Stop the elevator between floors. The outside doors cannot be easily opened if the elevator isn’t level to the floor. Likewise, the elevator doors won’t open. This will give you a last minute warning before being rescued.
• If you’re ready and not yet rescured, release the emergency stop button or flip that switch back to run mode. When it arrives, exit normally. If rescue personnel greet you, just tell them the elevator malfunctioned then resumed and that you are OK.

Now head back to that soul sucking office job with a little smile on your face. You’ve just made today’s work truly productive!

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!