Sexy Friday – 20231201

TGIF! WTH? It’s December? Also, having to blog on vacation is the worst. I hope I get double time for this.

Survival – Personal Edition

Again, vacation, so I’m going to keep this short and sweet. Today we’re going to identify the signs that you are not, in fact, over your ex. We’re going to skip over the obvious situation where you’re not the master of your domain while your ex is at the front of your mind.

  • Accidentally calling anyone you are dating by your ex’s name
  • Your rebound relationship is with someone who was previously your “safety” date.
  • You regularly call your ex’s roommate.
  • Making lunch dates with your ex’s mother.
  • Remember the song that was “your song”? Playing it over and over is a sign. A bigger sign is if it causes you to sob uncontrollably.
  • You haven’t updated your social networking relationship status back to “single” as of yet.
  • You call your ex when you’re drunk.
  • You call your ex when you’re sober.
  • Social networking issues again: You repeatedly check each day your ex’s social media accounts for updates.
  • You’re still tending to and updating those wedding plans. Or the moment when you were going to pop the question.
  • This is truly deranged behavior, but it should be obvious you’re not over your ex if you’re sleeping with a memento of your ex such as a picture.
  • You are parked outside their place of residence or work.

So, if any of this applies, you should #staysingle a while longer to get over the relationship. Also, leave your ex alone.

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Mr. Ayo
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yeah right

As always I watch the recorded game but I’m be damned that was a fun game.

ballsofsteelandfury

I emailed Hippo earlier and said this would be either win by a field goal or a last minute score.

Yuuuuup!

Gumbygirl

Wheeeeeeee Doggies!

Brick Meathook

Oregon is a pretty lame state . . .

Redshirt

ABC Director is going to do a split-screen to Oregon’s Nix’s soul-dying on the sideline.

Redshirt

BLEERGH has a 12 AM Dinner Reservation and he is not going to miss it, damn it!

Redshirt

…and BLEERGH just tried to ice the kicker.

Redshirt

I can’t tell if Washington taste the playoffs or if Oregon suddenly got tired.d

Sharkbait

The ginger bread house bobs burgers Christmas episode is easily top 3 of their Christmas specials.

WCS
Sharkbait

Any Teddy episode is a great one.

ballsofsteelandfury

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ballsofsteelandfury

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WCS

This is absolutely something The Gang would do and wonder why no one else thought it even slightly weird.

Horatio Cornblower

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Brick Meathook

Oregon-Washington is a kick-ass game right now (27-24 Washington, 6 minutes 4th quarter)

Brick Meathook

34-23 Washington

Brick Meathook

34-31

litre_cola

Dammit. Won’t get home for the U dub slurpfest

Doktor Zymm

I have taken so many airplanes and haven’t called my parents, damn

litre_cola

On el tren, with pizza. Crackhead asks me for a smoke. In no way am I smoking. I offer him pizza. “Food will fuck up my flow, I am in a groove.”

Redshirt

Sexy Friday Appropriate?

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ballsofsteelandfury

Hardest working button at that party

Redshirt

I’m torn. I want the games to end up with Ohio State sneaking into the playoffs. However, I wouldn’t mind having a season end with a New Year Bowl win instead of being destroyed by Georgia or Michigan. Plus, any scenario that can get Ryan Day fired has my full support.

Any suggestions that don’t involve alcohol consumption?

Doktor Zymm

Move out of Ohio?

litre_cola

Weed? E erything is aerie.

BugEyedBoo

Ryan Day is gonna have to lose three more games to Michigan before the gets fired (ex: Cooper)

BugEyedBoo

Oh man, Cooper drove everyone apeshit around here. Off the top of my head, his record against UM was 1-7-1. Towards the end of his tenure, Michigan coaches and players were saying things like, “Our real rivalry is Michigan St. now.” Which made folks here in Columbus just that much madder.

BugEyedBoo

Looked it up: 2-10-1.

2Pack

Well done Sir. I’d let those last ladies make themselves a 2Pack sammich. And to survive the ex’s just mellow out and put on some Kinks.

https://youtu.be/9dGP7ZyqWoQ?si=SmpdUV7xedqfqurT

Brick Meathook

Our 40th President (right)

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Brick Meathook

Here’s The Gipper teaching Angie Dickinson “what’s what.” I hope she learned her lesson and voted Republican.

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Redshirt

In my mindcanon, that Zombie Reagan collectively bitchslapping all the MAGAts.

Gumbygirl

I think are fooling yourself if you think he wouldn’t be goosestepping merrily
along with them.

Gumbygirl

I think you, fuck!

Horatio Cornblower

Guy on the left had a more realistic economic plan.

King Hippo

Let down by Penix again. Ah WISH ah could say this has NEVAR happened to me before smh

Doktor Zymm

Nice thing about tits, unless you go about having a baby and trying to breastfeed there are basically no ways they can let you down

Horatio Cornblower

There’s no way Penix’s (giggles uncontrollably for 4 minutes), arm motion translates to the NFL, is there?

ballsofsteelandfury

He’s certainly not going to get away with throwing off his back foot all the time.

Doktor Zymm

Worked for Cutler

ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, but he’s a cat. He’s got 9 lives.

Doktor Zymm

And 9 MCLs but he still ran out

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, I’m thinking he should start getting very familiar with the Canadian exchange rate.

Horatio Cornblower

“Have Mr. Ayo killed”

-R. Goodell

Doktor Zymm

Finally started watching Shoresy. Weird for the voice to have a face…and depth of character too but mostly the voice/face thing

ballsofsteelandfury

First season was incredible…

Settle down

Horatio Cornblower

Sticks are unbelievable.

I have to rewatch the second season. I liked it, but not as much as the first. I also sat down and blew through it in one sitting, so I may have missed a few things.

ballsofsteelandfury

Same with me.

Doktor Zymm

Ugh, I never get colds, this blows. I’m swole, but not in the muscle way, just swole full of snot and mucus. Ew.
Isn’t snot just a form of mucus? Probably redundant to say both.

Horatio Cornblower

I think you have what I just had. Some really vicious type of cold, but not Covid, going around right now.

Don’t mess around with it. Hydrate and rest. The cough I have from my body trying to get rid of all the mucus is something else.

Doktor Zymm

Turns out decongestants that expired in 2019 don’t work all that well. Guess I should go buy some new ones

Brick Meathook

I’ll sell you some Oxy pills. They won’t clear your sinuses, but you won’t care.

Horatio Cornblower

A friend of mine just had surgery and won’t take his Oxy because he doesn’t like the way it makes him feel.

Yes, I have let him know that I know people willing to take it off his hands.

Brick Meathook

The best part is constipation that will make you question the existence of God. I have no idea why hillbillies take these for fun.

yeah right

You’re gonna need some fiber.
I’ve got soup for that!

Doktor Zymm

I’m open to that

King Hippo

I liked this game better when UW wsn’t terrible.

Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

I forgot Mike Leach was dead.

The life of a pirate is often brief.

King Hippo

They’ve already fired his replacement and everything!

Horatio Cornblower

UConn had cut the lead to 2 when I came back for the second half. Promptly missed two FTs and then Kansas went right down and scored.

I’ve turned over the football game. I can take a hint.

Doktor Zymm

Since I couldn’t find an intramural women’s rugby team in the area, maybe I should try hockey instead. I can skate pretty well, although I’m out of practice and have only used figure skates, but easy enough to get back into it

ballsofsteelandfury

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Horatio Cornblower

Your mitt looks like my last report card: your parents are disappointed in it, it needs work, and it’s full of Ds.

Doktor Zymm

I do need to bone up on my mitt jokes

Horatio Cornblower

If you haven’t already just watch the S10 episode for International Women’s Day.

Ho-Lee Shit.

Doktor Zymm

Of course I have!

Horatio Cornblower

I’m doing a rewatch to get ready for the last season. Just saw that one again earlier this week, so it’s fresh in my mind.

Unlike Gailer’s bale of hay.

Last edited 11 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
2Pack

I’ve seen some women’s flag football games get pretty lively.

Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

UConn is somehow only down 8 at the half. They’ve been thoroughly outplayed. Lead should really be more like 20.

Horatio Cornblower

Throwing footballs to get tuition money: a precursor to The Hunger Games!

King Hippo

If they executed the loser, I would watch the HT competition in its entirety. GIVE ME BLOOD

Horatio Cornblower

So ‘The Running Man,’ but for students?

/huge snort of cocaine

Let’s talk!

King Hippo

cocaine, it literally improves EVERY creative idea!

Horatio Cornblower

“A guy named Mohammed won!? What in the hell!?”

-Middle America, right now

Doktor Zymm

Shouldda been a guy named Hey Zeus!

Horatio Cornblower

A white feller, with red hair and blue eyes, just like all them other Palestinian folks!

Doktor Zymm

Letterkenney is so good

Horatio Cornblower

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Game Time Decision

That’s a Texas sized 10-4

yeah right

Allegedly.

Horatio Cornblower

Fightin’ Horatios, Netball Division, currently getting their shit pushed in but good in Kansas.

Yikes.

King Hippo

Now comes the shanked FG, followed by Quackers TD drive to end the half.

King Hippo

Penix can go long?? – Deanna F. (turning TV off in disgust)

SonOfSpam

Not the first time she’s experienced Oregon impotence.

Doktor Zymm

I would estimate that around 80% of asshole drivers are in Teslas now, it’s successfully overtaken every other car as the choice of aggressive dickfaces. And annoyingly, they’re popular enough that there are lots of normal Tesla drivers around so I can’t even have fun stereotyping

yeah right

You are 100% correct. They even passed BMW owners and I was not expecting that for the rest of this existence.

SonOfSpam

For a long time, BMW was the asshole’s car of choice, but yeah, Tesla people should be eliminated. Starting with the head guy.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hey, it’s not our fault that turn signals are optional on BMWs!

Senor Weaselo

They should have made the blinker fluid standard!

Brick Meathook

Teslas are brilliant automobiles.

Doktor Zymm

The cybertruck looks like hot shit though

2Pack

They are. But we are on to something here. The owners I know trend towards arrogant and asshole.

King Hippo

Bastard Man, are we to BOW DOWN, or is it Too soon, Abed!?

King Hippo

Nobody has street cred like the man named after mayo smgdh

SonOfSpam

MC Best Foods?

ballsofsteelandfury

MC Duke?

Doktor Zymm

Between decompression sickness and the cold I apparently have now, I’ll take the DCS, it cleared up a lot faster and the skin pain wasn’t as distracting as a runny nose

Horatio Cornblower

So it’s cool that if one visits their ex’s stylist and collects their hair? Just asking because I don’t see it on the list. Not that I know anyone that would do anything that weird.

WCS

Ex, the stylist, ex-stylist? Yes?

SonOfSpam

Seems like a job for a smaller possession person.

Brick Meathook

Don’t forget to collect nail clippings at the mani/pedi salon.

Doktor Zymm

Gotta get all the bits for a decent voodoo doll

Horatio Cornblower

Zymm knows what I’m, uh, I mean a, uh, totally hypothetical person, is talking about!

WCS

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Carrying over from last post and Snatch (heh heh huh huh), this little throwaway line has become my to-go lexicon (in shitty accent, of course) whenever I’ve been directly challenged.

It’s basically my, “This is the last warning. Please do whatever I’m asking you to do before things have to get unfortunate.”

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Also, this has remained a staple quote for anything so simple it was challenging.
Pre-Katrina-era WCS said this with troubling frequency.

King Hippo

I like the new season of Rick & Morty better than new Archer. FIGHT ME.

Doktor Zymm

I lost track of Archer after the first or second post-ISIS season. Goddamn terrorists ruining good TV. Plus the new season of Rick and Morty is great.

ballsofsteelandfury

Last picture. Swoon

King Hippo

Ain’t nothing better than Showtime Lesbians