Summer of Soccer 2024

This summer is going to be a very special summer. We have not just one, not just two, not just three, but FOUR major tournaments happening!

In this post, I will break everything down for you and invite you to write team previews.

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The Schedule

The above graphic looks best if you click on it and expand it (/dick joke). Please keep in mind the times listed are Pacific.

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Euro 2024

Where: The tournament is being hosted by Germany with games in Hamburg, Gelsenkirchen, Dortmund, Düsseldorf, Cologne (Köln for those in the know), Frankfurt, Berlin, Leipzig, Stuttgart (home of Porsche and Mercedes Benz), and Munich (München and home of BMW).

When: The tourney starts on June 14 with Germany taking on the Scots in München. I don’t know if they will have enough beer but at least they’ve had time to prepare. The Final is on July 14 (Bastille Day!) in Berlin.

How to watch: Canadian coverage will be on TSN networks for English and TVA for French. US coverage will be on Fox networks for English and Univision networks for Spanish.

What you need to know: There are 6 groups of 4 teams each. Top 2 plus the best four third place teams make the Round of Sixteen. Don’t ask me how they pick the four best third place teams. It’s complicated and Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That. Your favourites are Germany, the host, France, Spain, and the Netherlands. No, I don’t respect English football enough to call them favourites.

Here are the Groups:

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Copa América 2024

Where: The Good Ole US of A! Host cities include Santa Clara, Inglewood, Las Vegas (actually Paradise), Glendale (Arizona, not Armenia), Kansas City, Austin, Arlington, Houston, East Rutherford, Charlotte, Atlanta, Orlando, and Miami Gardens.

When: The tournament kicks off on June 20 with Argentina taking on Canadia in Megatron’s Butthole in Atlanta. The Final will be at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens on July 14. Yes, that’s TWO FINALS on Bastille Day!

How to watch: Canadian coverage will be on TSN networks for English and RDS for French. US coverage will be on Fox networks for English and Univision networks for Spanish.

What you need to know: The traditional ten teams from CONMEBOL (the South American confederation) have invited six teams from CONCACAF (the North American confederation) to take part. They are split into 4 groups of 4 teams each. Top two in each group make the Quarterfinals.

Here are the groups:

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Paris Olympics Men’s Tournament

Where: Duh. Actually, not so fast, my friend! Due to the large number of games and venues needed, the games will be held throughout France. Host cities for the Men’s Tournament include Paris, Lyon, Saint-Étienne (great band, btw!), Marseille, Nice (69), Bordeaux, and Nantes

When: The Men’s Tournament will start on July 24 in various cities with the Final in Paris on August 9.

How to watch: Canadian coverage will be on CBC, TSN and Sportsnet networks for English and RDS for French. US coverage will be on NBC networks for English and Telemundo networks for Spanish.

What you need to know: There are 16 teams invited but only 12 have been determined. The Asian representatives will be determined in May while a playoff between Asian and African teams will determine the final team in mid-May.

Top two in each group go to the Quarterfinals. Here are the groups:

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Paris Olympics Women’s Tournament

Where: The Men and Women will share venues so it’s the same list of cities as the section above.

When: The Women’s Tournament begins a day after the men (July 25) and the Final will also be a day after the men (August 10).

How to watch: Canadian coverage will be on CBC, TSN and Sportsnet networks for English and RDS for French. US coverage will be on NBC networks for English and Telemundo networks for Spanish.

What you need to know: There are only 12 teams invited to the Olympics, so that will make it easier for someone to qualify for the Quarterfinals. Top two in each group plus the two best third place teams make it. Here are the groups:

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As I mentioned at the top, all of these teams need half-assed and not-at-all-researched previews! If you’re interested in writing one or more, please let me know in the comments!