Well look at you over there bored out of your skull/day-drinking or what have you. Thanks for dropping by! There’s a heavy amount of tilts because, of course, the sked is featuring two games tomorrow night at the same freaking time! But as noted on Thursday this is our first look at a bunch of starters but just a fleeting glance.
To The Games!
Cin/Chi:
Chili or deep dish? I’ll pass on both.
NYG/Hou:
For the love of bananas, can we see some average play from the Giants o-line? It’s been about 5 years now. Should I keep Tank Dell in Math Hard! league? I got him on the waiver wire for $0 so it won’t be much and I want a piece of that offense.
Det/KC:
This would make for a treemendous regular season game.
Min/Cle:
Anyone gonna take a chance on Chubb? He should be rounding into shape during the fantasy playoffs but that’s a long time to have him sit on your bench.
Buf/Pit:
A small part of me wants Fields to steal the starter job. Why? Because Wilson was a Christian weirdo long before the term entered the zeitgeist. I think Tomlin is entering his “9-8 years” phase.
Was/Mia:
I’m picking week 4 for Mostert’s first injury.
Ari/Ind:
I like the Colts as a sneaky good team as well as the team owner most likely to die of an overdose this season.
NYJ/Car:
Shitty owners, shitty teams-funny how that works. Far too much faith is being placed on Rogers. It’s the Jets and it’s all going to fall apart somehow.
LA/LA:
The game so nice they named…nvm.
TB/Jac:
Two teams hogging the spotlight until the college season starts.
Dal/LV:
Davante is planning his escape route as I type this. The Cowboys running back room consists of Zeke and Rico which sounds like characters featured in a Miami Vice episode that the writers hoped could be spun off into another series.*
*there is an episode out there where two guys try to steal a concrete mixer and one of them quotes Lee Iacocca. I’m sure it hasn’t aged well but it was hilarious to a much younger me.
Enjoy the offerings on offer.
The Foo Fighters concert ended with fireworks. I didn’t see most of them (my blinds were closed) but what I saw was awesome.
I buried a good friend today. A guy who was my hero growing up, because he was so damn cool. A wife, three kids. He was a funny fucking dude who seriously grabbed life by the balls. I can’t tell you how much I looked up to him, because I was a sheltered dork, and he was cooler than the Fonz.
He killed himself because he was majorly depressed and wouldn’t talk about it. Isn’t that always the way with us men? Us knuckle draggers fuck heads?
I held his widow and we cried and she said, “I just don’t understand. I just don’t know what to do.”
And the thing that sticks with me is that he won’t ever enjoy another second with his children. Ever.
I love him and hate him right now.
I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m just feeling low. And sad. And angry. I lifted a toast to him tonight, hoping that he heard it. Wherever he is.
I love you, Craig. And I’m so pissed at you.
Sorry to hear that. Depression is a real bitch
Yes, it sucks. I gave my boys the same conversation today about talking about it – I don’t care who it is, just share those feelings.
Ha!
Awww. I slept through all this excitement.
You spelled “excrement” wrong.
I’m watching a fictional portrayal of Newfoundland in the 1890s and it looks like a lot of fun. I assume it’s actually like that even today so I should go visit
wow, what a great dinner i just had. unfortunately it’s blocked all the alcohol from comign into my viens an d brains
Chug some seltzer, the carbonation’ll see ya right
Also
What the heck is this? 🏈
Hahahaha!
Found a funny:
Guy designing the Nostromo: However many chains you think we need on the ship, double–then triple that number and that’s what we’ll put in the ship’s chain room.
Assistant: Yes, sir. And the chains are dry, of course?
Designer: You’re fired
Will this season be Clyde Edwards-Helaire Final Repose
Ref needs to stop warning the Ukrainian guy for low blows: if you’re fighting with a torn bicep you should be allowed to hit the other guy in the balls.
That seems fair
Baby pangolin!
The Ukrainian fighter appears to have torn his bicep and his having his best round yet.
If I tore my bicep my next round would be at the hotel bar while waiting for the ambulance.
There is a reason Eastern Europeans are.
See, if I ever got in trouble in a boxing match I can guarantee I wouldn’t get hit again.
Because I would just lay down and wait until the referee counted to 10*, and then the other guy can’t hit me again, you see.
*I would have very little choice in the matter.
Decent super-middleweight fight on ESPN if you’re into that sort of thing.
I suspect it won’t last long: one of the fighters looks like he’s 45 and will probably gas out soon.
Can confirm. I’m 45 and have spent the entire day outgassing after eating Jack In The Box for breakfast.
I imagine that you are also being described as “dynamic and explosive” just like the fighter they’re talking about now.
* Not afraid to gets his hands dirty
* really loves the game
* plays to the whistle
*** first in, last out
— Mr. Condiment’s scouting report by the septic tank and local sewage
“He’s a third-time world champion contender.”
So 3-time loser, right?
Me, watching this game and making notes for the Dallas season preview:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl_dIxnUiqY
Hey, Dallas as a linebacker wearing 55! Fun fact, (well, fact anyway), 55 was the jersey my aunt bought me when I was a wee Cornblower that turned me into a Dallas fan. Leroy Jordan.
Probably saved me from being a Patriots fan, however, as the next jersey that I got my mitts on was Steve Grogan. Which, to be fair, was the classic Patriots jersey and better-looking than Dallas’s. But no way a 7-year-old is jumping on the sinking ship that was a 70’s Patriots team.
/Alternative universe HAHRAHHSHEEYOO FROM UCONN NUMBAH ONE NO ONE DENIES THIS spits a wad of chew at you
Fuck that guy.
God help me I have flipped over to the Cowboys-Raiders game while ESPN goes over the horrible childhood of one of the fighters and if this is methadone just let me OD on heroin.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIzHvtSW8rM&list=PLFi9V6EFsFIkLmqJ0KrFIdXLdrde1n1mo&index=6
I’ve had stuck on repeat in my head for three weeks.
Watching boxing on ESPN. Two heavyweights went at it, fight was stopped because one’s eye was so swollen he not only couldn’t see but the entire left side of his face was moving back around his head.
He has the same trainer as one of the guys fighting in the main event, so swollen-eye guy is now sitting next to that guy, with one-and-a-half faces, while the main event guy psychs himself up for his own fight.
I have to believe that’s at least a little counter-productive.
Is the opposite of ‘deadpool’, ‘livestream’?
Livedesert
It’s apocryphal but apparently two Marvel writers were contemplating a DC character named “Deathstroke”. One said “where do you do the death stroke? And the other said “in the dead pool”
I don’t buy it but that’s a story that’s out there
I’ve hung out with one of the writers (Rhett Reese) a couple of times. If you ignore the super-rich family he came from and the Stanford education and the smoking hot former sitcom wife and six-figure car he drives, he’s pretty much a regular dude like you and me.
Which sit-com? Golden Girls?
Fresh Off the Boat
McDaniels looks like he won he Bronze Medal in Bronzing this offseason
They showed Tomlin on the TV on that last drive and he had a look that screamed, “Fuck me, this is the year the streak ends!”
Charmslinger will save u
Charmslinger won’t finish the year.
That offensive line is worse than a turnstile. At least a turnstile causes people to temporarily slow down.
Fields at least is used to that
Just hoping we’re looking at the third string.
Bless your heart. We’re doomed.
(see above)
(Chef Russ’ thoughts, artist’s conception)
speaking of Commiefornia, the #BFIB are about to break their winless streak and put the Doyers IN THERE PLACE
You have my complete permission to beat the fuck out of the Dodgers.
I have no idea why, but that made me laugh loud enough to turn a couple heads.
Jesus Hobosexual Christ. There is nothing good to say about this game, except I love Charlie Batch. They should put him in.
Special appearance by Frank Gore Jr. Just put my decrepit old ass on an ice floe and be done with it.
Well, his pops did play until he was around 80, so it’s not that surprising.
Battle of LA – six to six, all field goals. Stetson Bennett just threw an INT in the end zone. Easton Stick will now take over
If the tickets for this game were more than zero dollars, they were too expensive.
Even if they were free, the parking would have been $40, which is just insane
Yeah, just no interest for me yet in going there. Maybe if they get decent public transport to the area. Which could happen (Olympics)!
It is supposed to be the car-free Olympics!
Yeah fingers crossed. I’d spend more time up there if
I wasn’t an old crankit were easier to get around.Somebody needs to show the Olympic Committee L.A. Story
I need to watch that movie again. It’s so good.
Stetson picked the worst time to stop drinking apparently
Quite the Overseer faceoff down thar in Commiefornia
We have got to get you out here for a visit.
My dime.
Say when.
Seriously! Teh Hippo needs some Californication!
He can stay for free at my father-in-law’s house.
Am I going to tell my father-in-law ahead of time? Absolutely not.
I saw a big scary alien romulon billboard when I was in tinseltown.
Is it awesome movie?
Probably not, but I’m still going to see it.
Truth be told, I enjoyed the last couple, and think the series could go a lot of places. People just aren’t willing to be patient.
I saw Prometheus and like it; was Alien Covenant any good? Probably would need to watch those back-to-back
The local IMAX theater is playing the new one. Might be the right way to see it.
I liked it. But, hey, I’m into minor royalty, the Stillers, and astronomy, so take that for what it’s worth.
That’s our mayor
we saw it yesterday and enjoyed it worth the IMAX ticket, but maybe not the 30 mns of trailers before it. lot of fan service call out to the other movies and the game
Secondhand reviewer comment: it’s the best Alien movie of the 21st century!
Angelico needs to just keep on Pauling it up and promo a bad energy drink
oops crossed forum streams, got confused as Russell Wilson today
…and the Chiefs are beating the Bengals by two scores, 10-0.
What? Reds? Royals? Well that’s much worse.
Just finished permethrin treating my hiking clothes and probably mildly poisoning myself in the process. Worth it!
“Permethrin to come aboard, Thir!”
-Brick M.
Someone in Pittsburgh needs to call the WCS Hotline because the Steelers are godawful.
Yeah, but at least they’re fucking up Truthbiscuit.
Let’s play “how do they bullshit to 9-8”?
After last year’s QB and OC situation, I’m thinking 12-5, easy!
I’m starting to think the backup Bengals are not that good.
Backup Bengals, somehow, seems like a nickname for Siegfried & Roy.
The Backup Bengals cover of ” Walk Like A Syrian” is underrated.
We’ve got this mini chain of restaurants out here called Northern Cafe and they specialize in Northern Chinese cuisine.
Particularly dumplings, noodles, beef roll and scallion pancakes.
We ordered lamb dumplings, fish poached in chili oil and crispy chicken.
There’s a reason why they have multiple locations. This place is delicious.
There’s one near me, and I agree they are great.
Their dumplings are fantastic.
Is this one of them?
https://www.northerncafepasadena.com/
Don’t think so but I wouldn’t hesitate to try one of those dumplings.
Fuck me, I love a good dumpling.
They need to open one out here. There aren’t any good Chinese restaurants around.
Someone could say this is Buddy’s favourite restaurant in The Greater Palm Springs Area:
Wangs in the Dessert
https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g32847-d550913-Reviews-Wangs_in_the_Dessert-Palm_Springs_Greater_Palm_Springs_California.html
That place closed mysteriously a few years ago, and recently reopened. I haven’t heard if it’s any good, but I know it’s one of those “Asian fusion” places, and they tend to suck across multiple cuisines.
Elect Harris and it’s Chinese Dumpling Shops on every corner!
While my Chinese cooking technique is strong, it’s not strong enough to survive in Palm Springs.
Rush Limbaugh is trending on Twitter but don’t worry, he’s still sober.*
*dead
I got banned for life from the news subreddit for fantasizing that Rush was still alive. Perhaps I was a little to explicit in my depiction of his reaction to finding himself trapped in a dark coffin slowly running out of air.
Well, don’t hold out on us now.
Oh, nothing truly outrageous, just a bit of fanfic about him groaning in terror and scratching at his coffin lid until his fingers were bloody stumps.
Saw this in a movie as a kid. He comes back to life, but is still full of embalming fluid. Agony ensues.
Just get another email address.
Comes over to DFO to see what YR is cooking up. Realizes it is only Saturday! Huzzah!
I gotcha covered tomorrow.
Chefs making mincemeat out of the Lions as was foretold by Tacitus.
Yeah Right: “Mincemeat,eh?”
/scribbles furiously
This has real meat in it, right?
the last time i had this much hype/hope for a qb and a bears team just before a season started the pregnancy rate in chicago jumped 1069% later that year
Everyone got spontaneously pregnant, too.
EVERYone.
Sometimes I get the menstrual cramps REAL hard.
I think they look pretty good. Have a big steaming bowl of Hopium, Fleshwound! If nothing else, they should be fun to watch this year.
A la mierda me voy profunda
May it be many years before the Williams jerseys everyone is buying get burned!
“Bears are killing the Tigers. Oh my.”
-J. Garland, NFL announcer
It’s sad watching non ex-player/coach media characters trying to get eyes on their AI-able job.
-J. Baudrillard
dammit do not give me hope like this, bears
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/1euo625/highlight_caleb_williams_throws_it_on_the_run_to/
plz stop
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/1euo9z6/highlight_caleb_williams_stays_alive_and/
Sid Luckman: He won’t be good for very much longer, if that helps you out. You’re welcome.
the bears are only allowed one (1) good quarterback per century and the good news is he is here. the bad news is he is already here and there are 76 more years left in this century
Yes…yes!!! Inject that Preseason Series straight into your “Looking great without pads!” boner.
“That is flagrant false advertising!” – an angry JD Vance standing outside a drinking establishment called “The Blowhole”
Do you also windsurf?
No.
Daniel Jones throwing pick sixes to imaginary friends. How quaint.
I loved how the (muted) screen highlight said “Touchdown Giants” – Dimebag clearly in mid-season form already.
One of my favorite all-time comments from I think KSK (but maybe here) was something about Eli Manning describing an interception as just a pass to a friend you haven’t met yet.
Man, I can’t wait to watch exactly none of these games.
Of course, I might have to, since the eastern Canuckistani wildfire smoke has made its way down here and everything outside is hazy and smells like the apocalypse.
Seriously, for a nation with more fresh water than virtually anywhere else you people seem to have no idea that applying said water to fire will put the fire out. Why, I’ll bet you don’t even rake your forests!
it’s all socialism’s fault obvs
edit: I think I was being a dick.
Don’t blame us out west yet. Been a good summer for smoke unless you are from Jasper.
I actually have only a vague idea where this smoke is coming from. I think I saw some weather reports indicating it was upper Quebec and it should be gone by tomorrow.
Regardless, I blame the Inuit.
Man I got to get my mom a bday gift. No idea what to even grab. She’s in full-on Foxandnothingelse mode.
Maybe some sort of poison antidote?
Gold and/or ivermectin!
Cryptocurrency.
Trump Bible or shoes
Involuntarily committed.
CLOTS playing the evergreen, “They have all that potential talent that has been injured PLUS all the real talent of yore that is now an NFL-year older PLUS draft talent. IF EVERYTHING CLICKS……!!!!”
Bears Bengals is football like substance.
The kind with big plays but few scores.
Are they doing the weird kickoff?
Also, thank you for taking over the Saturday Night Open Threads for me!
It would be great if they played the LA/LA game in Carson
San Diego.