Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Nocturnes Magazine: Season G Dice Baseball Championship

Welcome to the final Nocturnes Magazine! Of Season G, the Nocturnes’ sophomore season. Last we left off the Nocturnes had survived the League Series against the River Heights Sleuths, winning 2 games to 1, both teams taking a pair of extra-inning epics. That brought the East Division champion Harrisville Ham N’ Eggers to Brooklyn for the Dice Baseball World Series crown. Harrisville, with a mix of speed and power, is known for one thing: sacrifice bunts. No team lays bunts down like Harrisville.

So, without further ado, let’s get to it:

Game 1: BKN 3, HAR 2
The Nocturnes took Game 1 thanks to an Off the Bench pinch-hit single by Felix Ermantrout in the bottom of the 7th inning. The +3 on the card (Ermantrout pinch-hit for 6th hitter Ritzy Chambers, and the card strength is based on where in the order the pinch hitter is) was enough to turn what would have been a fly out into a single, scoring the winning run.

Brooklyn took an early 2-0 lead in the bottom of the 2nd thanks to a bases loaded card-assisted double by Greg Zanfino. But Harrisville got back into it in the top of the 4th, as a Rally Cap-assisted 2-run home run by Parker Nolte (hitter advantage, 17+1 on an 18 homer card) tied the game. From there starters Dakota Story (from Nashville) and Pony Nashville (from… Dakota?) were locked into a pitcher’s duel until that 7th inning. Nashville was removed after Ermantrout was announced in the game for reliever Duncan Petty, but the run was charged to the starter as he took the hard-luck loss after 6.2 innings.

Ermantrout might not have hit in that situation, but Ryne Snider flied out with advantage on a +3 Clutch Hitter. Snider, who was on fire during the League Series, homering in each game, had a quieter World Series. Had he walked, Ritzy Chambers would have likely stayed in to play Grand Salami since the bases would have been loaded.

Ray Thunderchild pitched into and out of trouble in the 8th before Rusty Finch pitched a scoreless 9th (avoiding a pair of Harrisville advantage) to pick up his 2nd save of the postseason and put Brooklyn a win away from the title.

Game 2: HAR 12, BKN 6
Brooklyn went down big early, as Harrisville scored 4 in the top of the 3rd to take a 5-1 lead against Claude Sellers on several baserunners on his own card, meaning a roll of 16 or higher. He hung in there and got through an important 5 innings giving up only the 5 runs—a 6th would have knocked him out of the game and potentially wreaked havoc on the Brooklyn bullpen.

Meanwhile, the Nocturnes offense tried to get back in the game. 2 runs in the 4th on a Ritzy Chambers double made it 5-3, but the Eggers got a run back in the 6th to make it 6-3. This proved huge as the Nocturnes scored 2 in the bottom of the 6th to make it 6-5, but the tying run stayed at 3rd. They nearly tied it in the 7th but Artie Cronin’s bid at a triple was denied (double, but rolled a 2 on the card where a 4 or better would give a triple), again preventing the tying run from scoring.

That was their best shots to tie it. Harrisville scored a run off Gomer Phillips, the setup man who hadn’t pitched Game 1 and was thus available for Game 2. This made it 7-5 and all the easier for Brooklyn to shy away from either Thunderchild or Finch in the top of the 9th, burning them for a potential Game 3. Instead Jeff Schoonover came in for the 9th (and potential extra innings if the Nocturnes could mount a comeback). Schoons struggled, allowing the first 5 batters to get on and giving up a 3-run homer to Eggers OF Minori Yang to make it 11-5 and put the game out of reach. Harrisville ultimately scored 5 in the inning, though Brooklyn got a run in the bottom of the 9th to make it a 12-6 final. Regardless, the series would go to a winner-take all Game 3.

Game 3:

After just an inning and a half the dream looked dead. Parker Nolte’s 2nd homer of the series was a grand slam that made it 7-0 and took Nocturnes starter out of the game after just an inning and 2/3 pitched, and the Nocturnes didn’t have enough arms to get through the game without fatiguing somebody for an out or getting a fortuitous inning-ending double play. Down 1-0 in the 1st they had played Rally Cap and the +1s fizzled when Ritzy Chambers struck out with the bases loaded.

But, for these Brooklyn Nocturnes, who had been through the highs and lows of the season, had clinched a division and lost their hitting coach in the same week, had played back-to-back extra inning epics only the series before, it was one final test to pass, one final mountain to climb, one deficit to chip away at. Tanner Stewart’s 3-run shot thanks to a +2 Clutch Hitter gave them a pulse at 7-3 in the bottom of the 4th. The bullpen picked up Falvo, as every available arm—Adam Judge, Hal Zanni, Niko Fawkes, Ray Thunderchild, Gomer Phillips, and Rusty Finch—threw a total of 7.1 innings of scoreless ball and kept Harrisville hitless from the 5th inning on. And the relentless Nocturnes finally struck in the 5th with 5 runs thanks to a Remi Paige pinch hit Underestimate single+ to make it 7-5, and the single biggest hit in franchise history, a Skipper Carson 3-run homer off of AJ Stocker to put Brooklyn in front 8-7.

The homer capped off a 5th that saw two pinch-hitters, as Guy Herzog singled for Rider Keegan to load the bases, then after Harrisville went to Stocker, Brooklyn lifted Greg Zanfino for Paige to prevent a potential shuffle matchup—Todd Branch’s 4.1 IP gave Harrisville some leeway, although minimal. Paige’s single+ actually could have been a double if not for the -2 on Scouting Report (-1 for the +3 pitcher against Paige’s 9 advantage, extra -1 because of the switch hitter), but was still enough to score Chambers and Cronin. Then, after Smokey Roberts grounded into a fielder’s choice, Carson had his fateful swing.

Niko Fawkes ended up getting the win and got that fatigued out in the 6th as he retired all 4 batters he faced. From there Brooklyn’s big 3 of Thunderchild, Phillips, and Finch were asked to do their work, allowing only 2 walks between the 3 of them. It got a little hairy in the top of the 9th as with 2 outs Enrico Cortese pinch-ran for Perry LaGuardia and stole 2nd, putting the tying run in scoring position. It got even more nerve-wracking when Finch ceded advantage to Boots Fisher. But Fisher hit a harmless fly ball (with advantage) that landed in Ryne Snider’s glove to end the game, the series, and the season, as the team met at Finch at the mound to celebrate.

The Brooklyn Nocturnes are your Season G champions with an 8-7 win!

A beer shower for Weaselo family protector and team mascot Noctis! (Pic taken after the shower.)

And it’s my new apartment in action!

Brooklyn went a total of 15-6 at home this season, not dropping a single series at Bridgeview Park. 

A team that had midnight starts and early morning starts. A team that played two games in two days in two cities and won both. A team that saw them clinch their first division title and lose their hitting coach (the former Senorita Weaselo’s teddy bear was the hitting coach) and have their manager lose the apple of his eye in the same week, and won a game for him while he grieved. A team that banded together in the Brooklyn way: “Een Draght Maekt Maght,” in unity there is strength. They united over the season, and their strength led them to be the last team standing after 36 games over 7 months. No “Wait ’til next year” was necessary. The Brooklyn Nocturnes are your Season G champions!


It did mean it was the end of the road for some, but what an ending. Here are Brooklyn’s retiring players:

#11 MI Remi Paige
Paige was primarily a bench bat in his 2 seasons, a switch hitter to come in when needed and provide a lift. This showed in the Nocturnes postseason run, as his RBI triple tied Game 1 of the League Series, and his 2-run single+ in Game 3 of the World Series got the Nocturnes back into a game and set the comeback in full force.
 
#18 IF Davey Gaston
“Gasser”
BKN Season F Underdog
Primarily used as a pinch runner option, Gaston retires as the team leader in stolen bases in a career (7) and in a season (4). He was the first winner of the team Underdog award in Season F thanks to his .357 average and 2 XBH that season.
 
#15 OF Shiloh Clancy
A solid and speedy outfield, Clancy seemed to come up big in the clutch. His pinch-hit triple early in Season G vs. New Orleans put the Nocturnes ahead and arguably saved a season that could have gone off the rails before it started. Clancy retires with a .462 average in limited action and 2 home runs, 1 of which was a grand slam.
 
#33 OF Artie Cronin
“Artie the Animal”
Cronin etched his way into Dice Baseball lore in the 17-inning classic vs. Boston, as he became the first Nocturnes player to hit 3 home runs in one game. He hit the first grand slam in Nocturnes history later in Season F. Cronin retires with 8 career home runs, 39 RBI, and a career average just under .300. Tuesday, January 27, 2026 at 10:57 AM
 
#44 OF Ryne Snider
“Ryno”; “Baby Duke”; “The Duke of DUMBO”
Snider, Brooklyn’s first center fielder, shined when it mattered the most. Though his career regular season numbers ended a shade under .300 with only 2 regulard season home runs, his .458 average in the Season G postseason, along with 3 home runs and 7 RBI, led the team in all Triple Crown categories as he was named League Series MVP. His RBI single in the 8th vs. Anchorage and his 11th inning home run in Game 1 of the League Series will live on in Nocturnes lore for eternity, and it seemed only fitting that he made the final putout of the Nocturnes’ Season G title.
 
#47 SP Mark Falvo
Falvo, a bulldog lefty, pitched in high-leverage Game 3s. His performance in the Nocturnes’ first game on September 11th was masterful, as was arguably his best performance in his single season in Brooklyn, an Ashby in Game 3 of the League Series as the Nocturnes advanced in the playoffs.
 
#40 RP Rusty Finch
“The Ironbird from Aberdeen”
BKN Season G Reliever; Season G All-Star; Brooklyn’s Finest (Team HOF awardee)
Fans would get excited as Iron Maiden’s “2 Minutes to Midnight” played as Finch, the Nocturnes’ first closer, led the league in saves (7) during his All-Star season. He retires as Brooklyn’s leader in saves (11), postseason saves (a perfect 3/3), and became the team’s first Hall of Fame recipient.
 
#72 RP Ray Thunderchild
“Big Ray” Thunderchild was a strong presence in the Brooklyn bullpen as one of the primary setup men, pitching 31.1 innings in 32 appearances in his 2 seasons, earning 2 wins and 1 save over the course of his career.
 
So, what next? Onto the next one. Next season, with a target on our backs as defending champions. Some new faces, some old faces, but still united. Still the Brooklyn Way.
 
Go Nox!
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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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SonOfSpam

New thread up. Sourry for the delay and quality or lack thereof.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

UK ticket sales for Melania are so far “soft”, according to Tim Richards, the chief executive of Vue, one of the country’s biggest cinema operators. Just one ticket has been sold for the first 3.10pm screening on Friday at its flagship Islington branch in London, while two have been booked for 6pm.

At the time of publication, all seats remained available for the 28 screenings of Melania at the Blackburn, Castleford and Hamilton branches.

The picture was slightly rosier at the Cineworld in Wandsworth, which had sold four tickets, while five backrow seats were also booked at the Cineworld in Broughton.

Horatio Cornblower

I would imagine Melania is used to dealing with soft things by now.

Sharkbait

Wonder what the logic is of those three people buying tickets

Last edited 1 month ago by Sharkbait
ballsofsteelandfury

Have you never heard of public sex?

blaxabbath

One is James Holmes.

Gatoraids

surprised they didnt offer some commemorative popcorn bucket with a mushroom shaped hole with a crypto rug pull token thrown in

Gatoraids

like the fake Variety review “If they showed this film on a plane, people would still walk out.”

Last edited 1 month ago by Gatoraids
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Sharkbait

I’ll take “seeing ghosts” Darnold please.

blaxabbath

NOW THIS GUY #47 SP MARK FALVO I LIKE TO CALL THIS GUY SAUDI ARABIAN AIRLINE HIJAKER PILOT HANI HANJOUR BECAUSE HE INITIALLY APPEARED ON 9/11 AND, WOULDN’T YOU KNOW IT, HIS TEAM WON IT ALL IN THE END.

Mr. Ayo

Sigh. Thanks?

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Gatoraids

the Mike Brown offensive line incentive plan kicking in

Horatio Cornblower

HELLOOOOOOOOO, APPLEBEES!!!

Unsurprised

That’s a Superb Owl

Mr. Ayo

HOX!

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m346UZhCjEo

#ThePauls will never not be #THEPAULS. My goodness.

Sharkbait

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yeah right

Well friends and neighbors and party people, after 40 some odd years of being a fish owner our little last rasboro went to fishy Valhalla.

It’s a colossal pain in the ass to haul around and to move and set up.
Not to mention keeping the damn things alive.

I’m moving on.

We’re I’m going I can’t transport this ecosystem any longer.

It’s been amazing and very human to be able to support a thing like this.

Maybe when I get settled in my forever place.

Two years. Eight months and 29 days to retirement.

Cheers fishies!

1000023973
Last edited 1 month ago by yeah right
Gatoraids

said good bye to our discus a year or so ago, had a to clove oil the poor last sick guys after 10 years. miss our pretties

yeah right

That last little guy we called him Rasputin because the motherfucker wouldn’t die.

It’s actually a relief. Going forward I knew it was impossible to transport.
That’s close to 100 pounds of rock alone.

Now I’ve got to get rid of a 40 gallon tank and a fish stand that me and my girls and the former Missus hand painted and vanished ourselves.

That’s the tough part.

Bogdanski

I (my kids) might be interested. Can you dm me?

yeah right

Will do.

2Pack

Solid. Keeping it in the Clubhouse would be great.

blaxabbath

I bet. No one is gonna want your meaningless craft project. (Their words, not mine.)

2Pack

That’s the hard part. Practicality aside, when you look at those parts of the past, those memories are so vivid, it’s difficult to reconcile.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Goodnight, sweet princes and princesses

Doktor Zymm

Woohoo! Congrats on the win and champeenship!

Gatoraids

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8SKL4fniRM&list=RDW8SKL4fniRM&start_radio=1

when you do too well to get your team pulled on other projects

WCS

Congrats Nocturnes!

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Horatio Cornblower

Paul Bissonette is an entertaining hockey desk guy, but I looked up his stats and my God, he was not a good hockey player.

Mr. Ayo

Still chuckle from the commercial where he was called Paul Missthenet

Don T

Ou yeah. This is how we do it in the 3rd World. Revolts work dammit
https://twitter.com/scootercasterny/status/2016705330604916809?s=46

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I work in noise control. I would love to volunteer to send ICE agents some useless tips, like a technical explanation of how boiling a pot of water will increase the amount of humidity in the air, thus dampening the sound.

Horatio Cornblower

“If you sit in lukewarm bathwater, then drop a live toaster in with you, you won’t hear a thing for the rest of night, and probably a lot longer you absolutely piece of shit that the world would be better off without.”

Still workshopping that last part. Might be a bit of a giveaway.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Covering your head with a plastic bag will provide temporary relief. It usually takes a minimum of three minutes for effects to begin so don’t be discouraged if you don’t see immediate results.”

Horatio Cornblower

“It can be difficult, and you have to want it, but a big strong guy like you can do it, I just know it.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So what is he?

BeefReeferLives

Romo’s actually a Tibetan Mastiff

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Apparently me singing “Running Up That Hill” off key is NOT the energy Lady BFC wants while we watch the Stranger Things finale

2Pack

Try Wuthering Heights. Sung way off key that one always works. You’re welcome.

Last edited 1 month ago by 2Pack
Unsurprised

Wait. So Bush didn’t do 9/11?

Gatoraids

NIL money has ruined the Puppy Bowl by showcasing a team of all Tibetan Mastiffs.

SonOfSpam

I’ll allow it

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Gatoraids

tremendous jowlspan

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jerry Richardson approves of pups 1, 2, 3, 5, and 7.

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Horatio Cornblower

10/10, would draft.

scotchnaut

I just got a “Service Unavailable” notice. Was my request for a Gibson martini floating in a chilled bowler hat a bit too much?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Show up at my house with a bowler hat and I will make that dream come true.

SonOfSpam

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Be warned that if you are wearing anything *other* than the bowler hat (such as pants), you will be denied admittance.

Unsurprised

Heat is a great movie.

Anyway. I survived jury duty.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, I have jury duty next month.

No promises I survive.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was trying to figure out what the line would be for me to actually convict someone of a crime against an ICE agent. It’s, uh, let’s just say that if Sharon Tate had been one of Kristi Noem’s direct reports, the Manson Family would have walked free.

Sharkbait
SonOfSpam

Ok, as a youth Strat-o-Matic player…what is this?

Computer? In person? Is there a site explaining all this?

I want to do this even though I don’t want to do this.

SonOfSpam

/looks up “WotC”
//looks up “TCG”
///asks Deanna Favre what “d20” means, receives dirty look

Got it, thanks!

King Hippo

Strat is similar to the dice/cards/board game (Pursue the Pennant) I played with my little brother. Once computers took off, it became a database game, rebranded as “Diamond Mind Baseball.”

Been doing that for like 35+ years now. No idea why I don’t quit. Rookie drafting is fun, though.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

i ain’t reading all that

– Lea Michele