Monday Morning Mock Draft Rescue Post

Guten Tag, drones, and welcome to the third season of Monday Morning Mock Drafts, courtesy of yours truly.

At this point you’re probably thinking things like, “What, the Super Duper Bowl hasn’t even happened yet; shouldn’t Hippo Thoughts be here?” and “Aw good Christ, not this shit again!” to which I respond firstly, yes, and Hippo will no doubt be back next week to give us his thoughts he thunk about the Owl, but there’s no football this week so Don asked me to fill in and since I do very little else around these parts I said “sure, if the site works” and earlier today it wasn’t but now it is, so fingers crossed! and secondly, hey screw you, man.

You all know, and ignore, the rules.  Make your pick, then wait 30 minutes or 10 picks before making your next pick.  Try to stick to the topic, even though that’s about as lost as fucking cause as The South’s reasons in hindsight for that unpleasantness back in the 1860’s.

This week’s topic is a holdover from last year, and comes courtesy of Redshirt:  “Quick & Lazy Breakfasts”.  Now lazy is something of a subjective call, so whatever you consider ‘lazy’ you just go with your heart.  Breakfast, however, is breakfast, the first meal of the day.  Your quick and dirty lunch means nothing here, and you lazily dialing in a shame pizza of dinner is just as irrelevant.  First meal of the day, you’re lazy, it’s quick, you pick it.

Redshirt gave me the topic, and in return I bequeath him the first pick.  I actually remembered to write it down when he suggested the topic, so with the first pick in 2026 Monday Morning Mock Draft Redshirt has taken “energy drink and a Pop-Tart”

With the second pick I will take Stopping At Dunkin’ Donuts And Ordering An OJ, A Hot Chocolate, And Their Turkey Sausage Breakfast Sandwich.  It’s in my hands in 3 minutes or less, (and tastes like it, too!), I don’t do anything but hand over cash for it, and I get to stay in bed twenty extra minutes because I’m not eating at home.

The rest of you are on the clock…

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WCS

Unexpected Burnley-Sunderland match just appeared on the TV here. A welcome reprieve from the usual Judge Judy, Kelly Clarkson’s whatever, and afternoon local news fluff shows.

King Hippo

The good ol’ Sun-Burn Derby!

blaxabbath

Can of smoked oysters.

Coffee.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Blaxabbath turned into Jonathan Livingston Seagull so gradually I barely even noticed.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Was that the point of that book?

SonOfSpam

Good strategy, make sure no one wants to be within 20 feet of you.

blaxabbath

I sure as fuck didn’t rush through breakfast to sit and hear about how TIRED YOU ARE, JAN!

Gatoraids

like a fish factory just blew up or something

https://youtu.be/LwlPI9KpkTs?t=67

scotchnaut

After university I worked construction-my breakfast was a chocolate bar and an XL coffee. I’d be buzzed until 3 and then crash hard for the last 2 hours of work.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m going to make my next breakfast pick in honor of the first artist featured in the episode of 120 Minutes I’m working on right now:

3. Cigarettes and the dregs of a bottle of Jack Daniels

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQOJY4NXYzM

BeefReeferLives

Stella D’oro Breakfast Treats: “Snack Time Any Time”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVasHDPQ-kU

2Pack

I know the croissant has been taken, but not with the cuppacino and fine company.

portrait-woman-with-coffee-cup-restaurant_79919-6339
Doktor Zymm

Looking like it might actually rain on Owl day, right now there are showers forecast for the morning of, so nothing during the game, but that could change over the next few days. We also had a bunch of little earthquakes up by San Ramon this morning, which almost certainly means nothing, but just think how freaked out the NFL would get if there was both rain and a perceptible earthquake during the Super Bowl?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It would be kind of funny if it were the Rapture and the only thing holding it off had been the Chiefs’ presence. And I’m guessing there can’t be more than a handful of people who a) have the means and desire to attend a Super Bowl that features the Patriots and b) would be worthy of Bliss, so I’m guessing those at the game won’t even notice that it’s going on, they’ll just think a few folks are taking a long time in the bathroom, they’re gonna miss the whole third quarter.

Redshirt

.

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Gatoraids
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Meanwhile in Southern California…

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SonOfSpam

Gon be 88 on Wednesday. Today is pretty close to perfect.

Doktor Zymm

Arbitrary new rule: A breakfast is only lazy if it takes less active time to prepare than it does to eat

Last edited 3 months ago by Doktor Zymm
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

there goes my Big Turk pick

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

bread, peanut butter, and if time a napkin to catch the crumbs

Gatoraids

Carnation Instant Breakfast for when cereal made you late to the bus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJYfrXd5QcY

ballsofsteelandfury

I used to have those all the time!

WCS

You’re gonna love it in an instant!

My mom would never let me have one of her’s.

Never forgiven her for that….

Gumbygirl

The chocolate malt ones were legit.

King Hippo

Even though I have never owned, shot, or even HANDLED a gun? I am 100% on board with this idea. My law school buddy (who was a fellow mainstream lefty but also a gun nut Yinzer) always said he wanted to start a left-wing militia.
—————————

Should Liberals Start Arming Themselves?

The case for (and against) militias.
Jonathan V. Last
Feb 02, 2026
∙ Paid

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(Composite by Hannah Yoest / Photos: GettyImages/ Shutterstock)

1. History

Today is part one of a two-part conversation about guns and the opposition movement. I want this conversation to be serious and not chest-thumping, because it’s complicated. And I’m going to start you off with the conclusion and then argue my way back into it. So here we go.
Recent American history shows that when citizens are well armed and organized, they get treated with more professionalism by law enforcement. This creates a paradox in which citizens attempting to resist a hostile federal agency enjoy more legal protections if they constitute an actual physical threat than if they do not.
Once you start following this path, the logic leads pretty inexorably to the conclusion that people resisting the Trump regime should (a) start arming themselves and (b) start organizing into community associations for mutual protection. Well-regulated militias, even.
And the best counterargument to this logic is that this moment of resistance against this regime is is not actually about power. It is, like the civil rights movement, a fundamentally Christian struggle.
That’s a lot to unpack, so let’s dive in.
We start in 2014 with Cliven Bundy.
Bundy was a rancher in Nevada and for twenty-one years he had been allowing his cattle to graze on federal land adjacent to his ranch. The federal government attempted to charge him grazing fees. Bundy refused to pay. It asked him to remove his cattle from its land. Bundy refused.
The government spent years trying to collect these fees and get the animals off its land, and Bundy kept refusing. He asserted that the government did not have the right to charge him and that his claim on the lands predated the governments because of his heritage. The government pursued its case through the courts and won. As a last resort, the court allowed the government to impound Bundy’s cattle as it roamed on federal lands. Think of it as putting a lien on his livestock.
As government agents were rounding up cattle—again, on federal lands—Bundy and some of his associates showed up. They were heavily armed. They demanded that the government agents stop and release the cattle they had apprehended. Instead of shooting Bundy and his confederates, the local sheriff negotiated with them and ultimately convinced the federal agents to give in to Bundy’s demands and release the cattle.
So much for “If you comply, you won’t die.”

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Bundy was not just shooting from the hip (so to speak). He had declared himself part of the “sovereign citizen” movement and enlisted the aid of various militia groups; these were the people who responded to his call and showed up with him to confront the government in April 2014.
I want to be very clear about what I mean when I say that Bundy and his confederates were organized. Here’s some contemporary reporting:

A [Bureau of Land Management] announcement that the [cattle] round-up was suspended failed to placate him. Behind a guard of militia, Bundy suggested his followers block a nearby interstate and demand the immediate release of all livestock.

“We’re about ready to take the country over with force!” Bundy said.

A tense, hour-long standoff then ensued at the mouth of Gold Butte, the preserve where the cattle were corralled.

Militiamen took position on a highway overpass, offering cover as horse-mounted wranglers led protesters to face off against heavily equipped BLM rangers and snipers. . . .

Deputy Chief Tom Roberts, of Las Vegas Metro, defused the situation by delivering the announcement that Cliven Bundy’s cattle would be returned within 30 minutes. Responding to [Ammon Bundy’s] demand that the BLM stand down, Roberts said: “I’m getting them out of here. That’s why I’m here.”

Local law enforcement saw it as their duty to get between Bundy’s armed protesters and federal law enforcement who were carrying out lawful orders and then convince the feds to give in to Bundy’s demands.
Here’s the local police describing their role:

“We were told, we’re going to go down there and we’re going to get between the BLM and the protesters. We were going, okay, we’ve been there before, but as we were driving up, it was like a movie set. It didn’t look real; people in the back of pickup trucks with rifles and shotguns,” [Sgt. Tom Jenkins of the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department] said. “It was hard to grasp that at the beginning.”

Approximately 30 Metro officers stood between a crowd of 400 heavily armed, self- described militia and the federal employees who had gathered a few hundred head of Bundy’s cattle. As the crowd swelled and tempers flared, many in the crowd tried to goad the police, hurling taunts and insults.

“They had no respect for authority. Everything that you can think of to call a human being, animals, everything,” Jenkins said.

One person in the crowd even asked Jenkins if he was ready to die. . . .

Shuttling back and forth between the Bundy forces and BLM was Assistant Sheriff Joe Lombardo, who’d been left in charge by Sheriff Doug Gillespie. He was trying to keep everyone calm.

“The bottom line is, bloodshed over cattle, unacceptable. Nobody wanted to go in that direction,” Lombardo said.

But the police were to learn, some in the crowd did want to go in that direction. Even Lombardo was on the receiving end.

“It was a scary point in itself. They were in my face yelling profanities and pointing weapons. The Bundy son himself, that I was negotiating with, Dave, he did not do that, but all the associated people around him did do that,” Lombardo said.

How interesting that neither the local police nor the federal agents believed that their lives were threatened by “domestic terrorists” in this situation and that they had no choice but to start shooting.
Also notable: The law enforcement officials on the scene believed that “bloodshed over cattle” was unacceptable and that not every single law or command had to be immediately complied with before deploying deadly force.

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Here I should say that both local and federal law enforcement behaved admirably at the Bundy standoff. Having a shootout over cattle would have been unprofessional and not in the best interests of justice. Instead, law enforcement withdrew and allowed the legal process to take over. There were FBI investigations of individual militia members who had threatened federal agents at the scene and some charges were filed. Bundy himself ultimately faced criminal charges. In most of these trials, Bundy and his supporters got off. But them’s the breaks. Living by the rule of law means abiding court decisions which seem incorrect or unjust.
And whatever your views of Bundy, I’d suggest that this outcome—in which the feds backed off, the legal process took over, and Bundy won in court—was preferable to a shootout. This is how professional law enforcement is supposed to work.

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2. Michigan

Fast-forward six years to April 2020 in Michigan. Thousands of protesters angry about the state’s COVID policies gathered at the capitol building in Lansing. Many of these protesters were heavily armed. After milling about on the capitol grounds for several hours, hundreds of them made their way inside the building and attempted to force their way onto the floor of the state senate. They were blocked by members of the state police.
There was shouting and confrontation, though nothing like what we would see in Washington seven months later. Here’s some video to give you a sense of the situation:

You may recall the images of masked militia members with long guns stalking the halls of the state capitol and then standing in the gallery looking down at legislators. Later, it would be alleged that at least two of the militia members at the protest had wanted to abduct the governor.
But again: Law enforcement officers apparently did not feel threatened by any of this behavior. They remained calm and professional. They de-escalated the situation and allowed the legal system to go to work after the fact, as videos were examined and investigators were able to identify individual legal infractions.
This was professional law enforcement at its best. As was the work of the Capitol Police in Washington on January 6, 2021.

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3. Protesting While Unarmed

The problem is that we don’t always get that same level of professionalism when citizens are unarmed—or when they are lightly armed but alone. Compare the killing of Renee Good or the execution of Alex Pretti with how law enforcement treated the Bundy militia or the armed Michigan protesters and it’s striking. It’s almost as though when citizens pose no threat to law enforcement, LEOs are liberated to be as unprofessional as they like.
It is easy to name any number of cases from recent years in which law enforcement deployed deadly force against citizens who posed no threat: Not just Pretti and Good, but Philando CastileGeorge FloydEric Garner—the list goes on and on. But try to name an incident in which heavily armed and organized citizens were treated with less than polite deference by law enforcement in the middle of a standoff. I can come up with Ruby Ridge and the Waco siege back in the early ‘90s. That’s about it. And in each of those cases, the armed citizens were not protestors, but criminals who were actively threatening government agents.

So when you look at Minneapolis, isn’t the answer that people resisting the actions of the government ought to arm and organize themselves to the extent that Minnesota law permits? That by meeting DHS agents on the street with a display of force, they are likely to get the most professional version of DHS behavior?
I don’t want you to answer this question. Not yet. Because tomorrow, in part two, we’re going to talk about the difference between sectarian power struggles and confrontations about moral legitimacy. But I’ll tip my hand now, just to give you a taste.
If the confrontation between the Trump regime and Minneapolis was merely a tribal power struggle, then it would be proper—wise, even—for the citizens of Minneapolis to arm and organize. Even if doing so risked further escalation.
But that’s not what’s happening. This is a fight over moral legitimacy. It is a uniquely Christian moment. And the people of Minneapolis are with Jesus standing against Caesar.
I know. It’s a lot. But don’t react to this yet. See you tomorrow.

ballsofsteelandfury

THIS

Doktor Zymm

Or when someone brought breakfast for the militia and it was full of gluten and dairy

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You’re right but also it’s still a good idea

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
WCS

fellow mainstream lefty but also a gun nut Yinzer

I never went to law school, and as far as I know, have never actually met you, you majesty.

If you’re coming for the Draft, we’ll spare no expense for royalty, though.
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SonOfSpam

Diet Pepsi and half a kinda stale donut.

Gumbygirl

Back in the day, breakfast was Diet Pepsi and a cigarette.

SonOfSpam

Vitamin N(icotine)

Gatoraids

the gross Raw Eggs and Orange juice shake from the Never Ending Story ass one of worst scenes and breakfast ideas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYqCtpa9_Ms

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who abbreviates that movie with NES? That abbreviation is already taken.

Gatoraids

didnt even register it in my head, thought there was a Nintendo in the background I missed

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Come guys, relax, they’re both worthy.” – Elisha

Gumbygirl

🎵The Never ending storeeeee, eee, eee🎶

LemonJello

Leftovers from last night’s dinner, eaten cold in front of the open refrigerator while contemplating how to vanish from modern society.

Just me?

LemonJello

Still counts.

Doktor Zymm

Protein drink and a couple pieces of marzipan

Doktor Zymm

The protein drink I’m sipping right now claims to be plastic neutral. Specifically, they say that for every pound of plastic used in packaging a pound is ‘removed from the planet’. I assume they mean they are launching tons of plastic into space.

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

so, plastic neutral, but not carbon neutral then

SonOfSpam

mit iodine?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Only if there’s been a radiation leak in the laboratory.

yeah right

Give 2 pieces of bread a quick toast, scramble 2 or three eggs real quick and crumble in some feta.

Scoop cooked eggs onto bread, make sandwich, eat in 4 bites.

King Hippo

Today’s brekkie (too lazy even to microwave oatmeal):

Dave’s Killer Bread cinammon raisin bagel (x2)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Frozen waffle, but toast it first. I’m not an animal.

ballsofsteelandfury

Second pick:

McDonald’s 2 for $6 Sausage McMuffin with Egg deal.

Best thing about McDonald’s is the fries and then breakfast.

Don T

2026 will be up to the wazoo on mandatories!
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ballsofsteelandfury

The game in Melbourne will be a US night game. Probably a Saturday Night game.

Last edited 3 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
SonOfSpam

Featuring RAMMMMMMMMIT

King Hippo

#BallsOfGingerAndMoney

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Honestly, cities that lose a home game should sue the NFL to recoup revenue from public funds for the stadia.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When he said “make it 8” I thought he was talking about the number of NFL owners mentioned in the Epstein Files.

SonOfSpam

Probably too low

SonOfSpam

Word on the street is that the Paris game (first ever in Frogland) will feature the Browns and the Saints. Sacre bleu!

Gumbygirl

Didn’t they suffer enough when we gave them Jerry Lewis?

SonOfSpam

His favorite team is probably the RAVens

Gumbygirl

The Australian one. Aren’t they like a day ahead or something? Will time travel be involved? I hafta warn everybody, I get carsick, so I call shotgun!

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

they are like 15 hours ahead of us

ballsofsteelandfury

It will be a Sunday day game for them hence the Saturday Night game for us.

ballsofsteelandfury

/looks at work desk

Celsius and gas station pastry

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

how does one eat a temperature scale?

SonOfSpam

At about 8 feet off the ground (or fair in height)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

2. Chocolate croissant.

Last edited 3 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
yeah right

Had this in Barcelona. A croissant with a marscapone cheese filling.

Insanely delicious.

1000022415
Doktor Zymm

I had a couple pistachio croissants in Venice, one of which was good and one which was wayyyy too sweet

Redshirt

Thanks for the assist, Horatio. For my 2nd pick, frantically run into the corner gas station and grab a random pastry or cookie and a soda.

King Hippo

Instant Quaker apple and cranberries oatmeal. Microwaves while the Keurig brews.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Instant oatmeal disappoints me. Taking the extra five minutes to slow(ish) cook real oatmeal is so much nicer, IMO.

yeah right

Greek yogurt, drizzle of honey, sprinkle of granola and a couple of chopped up strawberries.

Place in bowl, stir.

Gumbygirl

Look you, fancypants, these are supposed to be lazy breakfasts. Shame breakfasts.

blaxabbath

This guy just kills the mood around here sometimes…..

Gumbygirl

I know, with his fancy food. And healthy, even. Sheesh. Read the room, dude!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Second pick: a muffin

Any muffin will do and I prefer blueberry but I also recommend a raisin bran muffin so you can pretend it’s healthy and have the added level of difficulty of hastening your next bowel movement.

Jimbo

2 lines of coke and a tall can of Budweiser.

-P. Hesgeth.

Don T

Black coffee and nicotine gum. Muscle memory makes the coffee, no awareness required 😅

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

1. Bowl of oatmeal (steel cut oats; 1/3 cup oats to 2/3 cup water; 6:66 in the microwave at a power setting of 4) with some dried cranberries.

Gumbygirl

Are you making breakfast, or summoning the devil with your microwave?

Gatoraids

spoonfull of peanut butter with some honey on it

Senor Weaselo

Update: I stayed in bed too long and now I’m definitely running late. New digs, new route mapping.

Second pick: Protein bar and a Vitamin Water from the deli by the train station

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Don’t sweat it, when you are selling your body to billionaires in exchange for a place to spend the night, waking up in unfamiliar surroundings is just part of the adventure!” – the Ukrainian refugee that spent last night in Steve Tisch’s company

scotchnaut

Grabbing a few boiled eggs made the night before and a handful of mini cukes.

Sharkbait

Leftover cold pizza.

Doktor Zymm

Breakfast of lazy champions!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Grabbing a banana and yelling “shit I’m late” as you run out the door.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I do this but add a protein drink

Brick Meathook

Eating a bag of chocolate covered almonds that were on the table next to my bed.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Those are rodent droppings and we don’t understand why you keep them in a bag

Brick Meathook

That’s chocolate covered raisins. Chocolate covered almonds are sublime.

Senor Weaselo

The ultimate lazy breakfast from staying in bed too long and now needing to rush before work?

Air! (Or nothing.)

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