Sexy Friday – 20260327

TGIF! Don’t drive high on opiates and roll your car like some idiot.

Word Count Filler Time

Alright, let’s preview tonight’s Sweet 16 games. Just kidding, that was done last night. Just kidding, we’re going back to the funny (may not contain actual humoUr) airplane travel stories.

No Jokes
See? Right off the bat (happy belated opening day to all who celebrated. Also get fucked Cleveland) we have a relevant story. Back in the day there was an airline called America West. Well, two of their pilots got fired for showing up drunk and got fired. (Whomst amongst us?) A week later, a passenger was boarding an America West flight and asked a flight attendant if they’d done a sobriety check on the crew. They kicked the passenger off the flight as a potential “security problem.”

Brains
DIA had to fire several security screeners after they sent themselves through the X-ray machine to see what their brains looked like. Probably half full. Or half empty depending on your disposition.

Nuns
American Airlines evacuated a plane in Dallas due to a suspicious odor a passenger reported. After inspection, nothing was found and the passengers were allowed to board again. Except the crew held back four (4) nuns of Indian descent. They then questioned them for six (6) hours before finally allowing them on another flight. A formal apology was later issued by the airline.

Birds
A Cuban arrived by flight in Miami in 2001 and was immediately detained. There was apparently some bulges or chirping noises, because when he was asked to raise his pant legs the inspectors found forty four (44) birds strapped to his legs. Worse, he had signed a document specifically stating he was not importing birds. The birds were returned to Cuba and he spent six (6) months in prison.

Toilet HumoUr
A Scandinavian flight got attention in 2001 when a lady got stuck to the toilet seat after flushing the vacuum powered flush while still sitting. It took several hours after the plane landed in the US before technicians were able to get here freed. Alas, it turns out this is a tall tale and never happened. You’re perfectly safe flushing that plane toilet while seated.

Hopefully, none of your future flights will make any headlines that I will share here in a future post.

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Sexy Time

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!