Sexy Friday – 20260417

TGIF! This is the last reminder that our Sunday Gravy substitute chef needs to get their shit together and write a post with pictures. It’s not that hard, I’ve done it myself!

Word Count Filler Time

Did you know it’s illegal to flush or stand up peeing in Switzerland after 10pm? Me neither. Anyways, let’s talk about spiders. Or rather, “Spider” Man. Turns out he’s just as fraudulent as birds or Wyoming.

Strength: False. Ants are capable of carrying 60 times their weight. Spiders? Not much more than their own weight. WEAK.

Speed: False. They’re slow as shit as it turns out coordinating the movement of eight legs is a big ask.

Sense: False. They do have hair on their legs that let’s them know when their web has caught something, that doesn’t alert them when you’re about to smite them with a shoe or other ammo.

Web: Our spidey man shoot webs from his wrists, but that in no way is similar to actual spiders. Their webs are formed in their abdomens and the excreted as actual web like stuff. This would make any spidey man movie rated R or worse if duplicated.

Climbing: Fine. One for the spiders. Some spiders can actually cling to walls and ceilings due to what “scientists” class scopula which is just hair between their claws. To be clear, there are over 35,000 species of spiders and only a handful have this ability.

In summary, Tobey Macguire is a fraud and the Spider Man franchise is a land of contrast between actual spiders.

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Sexy Time

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!