Sexy Friday – 20260612

TGIF! Ok, we’re almost halfway through the year. Apologies to technically correct Bogdanski. Enjoy your 50s next year. Anyway, we have no finals games this evening. Instead we must settle with seeing how the Mutant Ninja Turtles, aka USMNT, abases themselves this evening. Will they have a worse showing than Our Hat getting only a single point earlier today? Tune in to find out and laugh at them!

Word Count Filler Time

Remember when we had a functioning government? One part of that was the Department of Labor. They produced a Dictionary of Occupation Titles. Not to be confused with the DOT, which is the Department of Transportation. Anyhoo, here’s a listing of some job titles from that dictionary. I will not be providing explanations of each job due to the massive devaluation of the DFO stock since the SpaceX IPO. Although I will attach an asterisk to every Sexy Friday approved title.

Flocculator Operator

Ripening-Room Attendant

Milk-of-Lime Slaker

Round-up-Ring Hand

Kier Dryer

Bed Rubber*

Bologna Lacer

Bosom Presser*

Bottom Buffer*

Crown Pounder*

Egg Smeller

Fickerton Checker

Nibbler Operator

Dog-Food Dough Mixer

Pickle Pumper*

Retort Forker

Mutton Puncher

Queen Producer

Human Projectile*

Subassembly Assembler

Animal Impersonator

Lap Checker

Hand Former Helper

Pantyhose-Crotch-Closing Machine Operator

Blind Hooker*

Dead Header

Gore Insetter

Fish Flipper

Road-Hogger Operator

Dobblylom Chainpegger*

Cheese Cutter

Easter Bunny

Automatic Lump-Making Machine Tender

Boring Machine Setup Operator

Upsetter Setter-Up

Brain Picker

Fur Beater*

Soiled Lined Distributor*

Buzzle Buffer*

Head Chiseler

Jawbone Breaker

End-Touching Machine Operator

Toe Puller (Rex Ryan approved)

Tumor Registar

Muck Boss

Guillotine Operator

Take-Down Inspector

Bean Dumper

Slubber Doffer*

Gas Dispatcher (Whomst amongst us?)

Well my job title seems quite basic in comparison. I’ll ask HR to change my title to Gizmo Header on Monday. I’m sure there’ll be no objection.

Click here to get to commenting

Sexy Time

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!