Monday Morning Mock Draft: I’m Tired Of Pandering To You People!

Guten tag drones.

This week’s title comes from Diamond Joe Quimby, who yelled something like that at the good people of Springfield.  Unfortunately I couldn’t find an image of him saying that, despite, looking for at least 6 seconds, so I went with what you see in the featured image, which I think is a reasonable compromise and reflects the general state of the world these days.

As for this week’s topic I am indeed pandering:  at some point over the las week someone said something about costumes you’d like to see a significant other in and then another someone, (it was Balls), said something like “hey, sounds like a mock draft topic” and then another someone, (it was Rikki), said the first pick would obviously be Slave Leia, which

and then another someone, (that was me), said, yeah, sure, what the hell, and now here we are.

Now, before this degenerates into a 300+ pickkakke like the “who wants to fuck a cartoon” draft from lo those many years ago, I am going to throw a twist into the mix:  you get three picks, and only three picks.

Call it the BC Dick Corollary.

While costumes were suggested, (other than Leia I think someone named Zymm suggested Zardoz for the gals) (I couldn’t carry it off, but no one’s ever confused me with the dashing Sean Connery, either), I will not assign anyone the first pick, (even if it almost certainly going to be Slave Leia), as I don’t want to assume anything, (especially gender), and handcuff, (something I’m sure we’ll see in a pick), someone to a pick they would not have made.  I’m also going to reserve my pick, as it would not be fair to bogart Leia under these conditions.

Now, you need some rules otherwise you won’t have anything to break, so:

The pick must be a character from media.

The media in question is limited to movies, TV, or books.

Your draft picks MUST be one from a movie, one from a book, and one from a TV show.

If you take a movie or TV show based on a book you have covered two sources and have only one pick remaining!

(there’s like no chance I’ll catch all, or any, violations of this rule, but if I do you will be scolded)

NO PORN!

No cartoons, we sorta already did that one.

The actor or actress in question can be drafted more than once, but the role you draft them in is gone once you make the pick.

Have at it, and choose wisely.